Disassembling Situations
by MonkeeNoodles
Summary: -Sequel to RENOVATION- A year and a half later, everything seems to be fine on the surface but when tiny cracks are found, Raven seeks to mend them, desperate to keep the Titan family together. Will she be able to or will the cracks become pitfalls? BBRae
1. The Big Sleep

**A/N: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! IT IS DONE!**

**Well, OK, only the first chappie but still...it's a start.**

**So basically the time frame is about a year and a half after the incidents in 'Renovation'...and I recommend that you read that one first before you read this once since I will probably take elements from there and continue them here.**

**Warning: This chappie is kinda jumpy in terms of where its going, but I hope its forgivable enough for you guys to still want to read this. Oh, also, my grammar can suck at times e.g. my diction, syntax, pronouns (espesh when it comes to the gender specific ones...for some reason I always get them mixed up) and tenses. No, seriously, you have been warned. Oh, and also its like detail overload...not as overloaded as the last chappies of 'Renovation' but still kinda overloaded. Also OOCs...people have complained about them in the past...**

**Wow that is a long warning...maybe if I didn't warn so much, people wouldnt be as put off by my stories as they seem to be...hmmmm...**

**Oh wells.**

**Readers enjoy! And I hope that the wait was worth it for you guys!**

**Chapter 1**

The dog stalked the streets slowly, hunting for its prey, taking in the scents that accompanied the dark night and filtering out those scents that the dog found useless. Its tongue lolled out lazily as its pace grew quicker at a hopeful trail and it woofed enthusiastically as it realised that it was on the right trail. Scampers of rushed footsteps were heard by the dog but it ignored it, the footsteps were not its main priority right now, the scent was.

The odour suddenly became venomous and foreign to its nose and it growled fiercely at nothing and continued to growl until it felt a hand stroke its head softly, murmuring words that seemed familiar but at the moment were unrecognisable.

It wagged its furry olive green tail enthusiastically and continued to follow the scent.

The night was dark and shades of black overcame the usual shades of grey and white that appeared in daylight but its eyes could see clear enough.

It sniffed.

It was close…the prey was close.

It felt the urgency in the air, the urgency of the people scuttling behind him and the urgency in itself, and it rushed as quickly as his paws could take him; air rushing past him, gravel numbing his paws and the smell of prey filling its nostrils like a long awaited smell.

As it approached its prey, the dog realised that something was wrong and it approached its prey cautiously, as if nearing a rabid kill and took a sniff; something was wrong…it smelled too…empty…and yet the trail lead it here to this prey, not the prey he was looking for but it was still prey.

It nudged at it with its nose and found that the kill did not—or could not move—and that it did not emit any breath.

The dog growled.

Bad kill.

Bad kill.

It barked angrily and the footsteps were heard once more, this time they were more hurried and sudden and it was hard to filter one pair from another; they all sounded the same to its ears. As they approached, the dog observed the people carefully and found that they smelt angry and frustrated, especially the male with the black hair and this was further supported by the way that certain male kicked a close-by rock towards the dog, causing it to flinch and cower behind the rubbish that surrounded the place.

A voice was heard and it was so familiar and loving that the dog came out of its hiding spot and towards the voice. The owner smelt like she was worried for the rest of her pack and for it and she started to stroke its fur slowly and carefully while speaking words that it did not understand and yet…and yet it knew what they meant.

Almost subconsciously, the dog stretched out its front paws and suddenly it heard strange cracking sounds, accompanied by cold, cold pain. It wanted to howl in agony but the hand stopped it as it continued to stroke the pet softly and whisper those alien words over and over again. The dog continued to stretch until its limbs transformed into something entirely different; its fur shortened, it grew taller, it stood on its hind legs and the words that seemed so unfamiliar before suddenly became clearer to him but still, he was green…that had not changed.

"…how the hell did he get away? He was right in front of us…right in fucking front of us." Beast Boy shook the urge to scratch behind his ears with his foot as he realised Nightwing was having a major hissy fit, "He's escaped…_again_!"

He stretched out his arms behind him, feeling that familiar sensation of the aftermath of transformation; it was sort of numbing, like the pain was still there in every bone and muscle of his body but he had just shoved those feeling to the back of his head.

"Don't know how he did it…but _dude_, he did it all in a couple of seconds…I mean he couldn't have had more than a couple of seconds…we were _right _behind him and all but…" Beast Boy's words faltered as he realised that Nightwing was glaring at him, "What!? It isn't _my _fault! I was just following the trail!"

"It wasn't your fault!?" The raven haired man seethed and his hand moved in dangerous motions, "Not your fault!? We followed you here!"

"Hey!" He backed away bit by bit slowly, "A trail is a trail, alright? You gave me one scent to follow and I did it…not my fault that he had time to take his suit off and leave it here…wait a minute! Why the hell did he leave his suit here…isn't it got all that xenothium in it and crap?"

"BB's got a point, Nightwing…Red X wouldn't leave his suit here for just anyone to pick it up…I mean, man, you should know, right? You were the one who made this shit." Cyborg interjected the glare fest while he scanned the suit lying behind the dumpster and Beast Boy thought that he was probably checking if there were any clues that they had missed, "I mean why the hell would he leave it lyin' 'round for anyone to pick it up? This is dangerous shit, man…dangerous and frickin' expensive shit." He glanced quickly at Nightwing and found him to be grimacing darkly at the suit.

Nightwing crouched down on and felt at the suit, his hands sliding up and down to make sure that he hadn't missed anything. Beast Boy watched and he was fascinated at how concentrated their leader was and how he didn't miss anything—unless it was completely microscopic—and he noticed that the others were silent too; making sure that he didn't break his concentration or all hell would most probably break loose.

He finally stood up, a scowl written clearly on his face, and he was gripping something tightly between his fists, so tightly that Beast Boy imagined that his knuckles were now quite white.

"What did you find?" Raven asked; her voice was stern and cold and the way that she looked at him made Beast Boy think that there might be something else going on behind those words.

Their leader shook his head, "Nothing." He crouched down again to pick up the suit before standing up once more, "He left nothing of relevance to you guys." His gaze turned to the night sky, "We should get going."

"But…Nightwing…are you feeling well?" Starfire touched him on the shoulder and Beast Boy had to laugh inwardly at the fact that she had grown taller than him in the past year and a half.

"Truthfully, Star? Probably not in the best of moods right now but tomorrows a new day and we've got more criminals to arrest."

"But—"

Beast Boy watched as Raven contorted her brows, "Starfire…leave him be…he's right, anyway…it's been a long day and we're all tired."

"Oh…very well. May I take you up into flight towards our humble abode?" The alien princess asked, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously, her green eyes glowing prettily.

"Sure." He replied gruffly to the displeasure of his girlfriend and with that Starfire carried him by the shoulders and towards the Titan's Tower.

Beast Boy squinted as Starfire rushed past them, a gust of wind with so much force that it almost knocked him over followed by a trail of what seemed to be flames; now _that _is seriously awesome hair.

He looked over his shoulder to see Raven close her eyes and raise her arms before a black disc formed in mid air. Cyborg hopped onto the black disc wordlessly waited for Raven to seat herself atop their vehicle.

"Hey, baby doll, don't I get a ride too?" Beast Boy grinned and winked at her, ignoring the gagging noises created by his best friend.

"Beast Boy…" Her brows rose and his grin grew wider, knowing instantly what the answer was going to be, "You can fly…and unless I've found out that the only bird that you can turn into is a kiwi then I suggest you get a move on."

"Awww…no ride then?"

She snorted, "No ride."

He pouted, "Fine." He stuck his tongue out at both his best friend and his girlfriend, causing her to roll her eyes at him, "I'll race ya!"

"No, don't you even think about it man! You know I get air-sick!" Cyborg warned to no one in particular person and crossed his arms gruffly.

He beamed and ran as fast as he could—as if accelerating—before he took one final leap into the air, it all happened in a matter of seconds and he could barely feel the pain anymore, especially with the rush of adrenaline that coursed through him whenever he flew…he _loved _flying. It was just the rush that you got with the fact that there was nothing between you and the ground and the feeling of the wind blowing violently through his feathers, threatening to topple him over and the fact that you could see _everything _from above…_everything_.

The bird spun.

Bright lights shone in his face like streaks of no particular patterns and the buildings were nothing but a blur. It flapped its wings faster and dove, cutting through the air, and it gazed at the deep waters below it, sparkling darkly in the blanket of the night. The air was cool but not cold and the skies were clear; it was a good night, a good night for flying and _boy _did he love flying.

There, in the middle of the ocean, it could see the T-shaped building, standing upright boldly in the middle of the night and the lights were on, signifying that both Nightwing and Starfire had arrived before them. It dived once more and felt the power of gravity pull it towards the ground faster than before, pulling him so hard that it thought that it would hit the ground if it wasn't careful. Suddenly it seemed to somersault and with a quick shake of the head he landed on the rooftop of their home in the form of your normal, everyday, green, spandex-wearing guy.

Slowly he worked his way downstairs towards the Common Room humming the newest Dj Tiesto song that was in his head; Raven _hated _trance music…he wasn't sure why…something about it being unconstructive and disruptive and nonsensical…but then again, he really liked it so it didn't really matter…not that he ever said _anything _about her classical music and such. He liked jazz though—he grinned—he really did.

The doors opened and he found the Common Room filled with everyone there despite the fact that it was already late into the night; Vic was sitting on the couch while flicking through the channels with his beloved TV-remote, Dick was sitting on the couch—rigid and unmoving—while Kori was sitting down next to him—a worried look etched on her face blatantly for anyone to see—and Raven was sitting with a book in hand though she didn't really look like she was reading, she was just staring harshly at one spot in the book. There was something wrong with the atmosphere though, it was just brimming with unresolved tension, so thick with it that he could probably cut it with a knife. It was to be expected—since Red X had once again disappeared without a trace, leaving one _very _pissed off Dick—but that didn't mean that Garfield had to like it…in fact, he _hated _it.

He scrambled in front of the TV with his arms raised, "MOVIE NIGHT!" He exclaimed suddenly in which he was simultaneously replied with blank stares.

"Garfield, it's midnight." Dick glared at him and he met his gaze unflinchingly, "It's a bit late for a movie night."

"But…" Garfield whined, "It's a Friday night! MOVIE NIGHT!" He screeched once again.

He crouched down and looked through the DVD cabinet, scrambling around to try to find the movie that he wanted. While he was doing so Garfield suspected that they all went back to what they were doing before he announced his eagerness to have a movie night. Finally he found the movie he was looking for and showed it off proudly towards his team mates.

"Aw, man, if you wanna have a movie night at least pick a good movie!" Vic groaned and looked at his left arm, "Dude one of _those _movies…you know no one except you likes them." He pressed a couple of buttons then shook his head, "Gotta go recharge. See you guys later."

Garfield watched sadly—his pointed ears sagging—as his best friend left the room and he turned his gaze at the three remaining team mates expectantly.

"Movie night?"

Dick stood up silently, almost pushing Kori away harshly, his grimace still on his unmasked face, his fingers clenched into a tight fist with the whitest knuckles he had ever seen. He watched as Kori looked up at him in a confused manner and Raven remained silent, her eyes still on the same spot on the book as before; she probably wasn't reading at all, she got like this when Dick was in one of his moods and Garfield didn't like it, it couldn't be too good for her.

"Movie night?" He asked once more, echoing his previous words.

"I've got better things to do; work that needs to be finished." He darted a cold glance at the movie Garfield was holding, "Good night." His voice was sharp and Garfield noticed that he stunk of frustration and ice cold anger.

He twitched his nose and saw Kori stand up as if to follow her boyfriend, "The lack of colour in those movies distress me so, friend Garfield and tonight is not a night of joy." Her eyes traced the Common Room doors in which Dick had just gone through, "I shall go and tend to Dick."

He noticed that Kori actually had her feet planted on the ground and she walked solemnly pass the doors and out of the Common Room. Now there were only two of them left in the Common Room; him and Raven, and he wasn't entirely sure if she was in the mood to watch a film noir at this time of the night…sure she enjoyed it sometimes but at other times when he caught her at a bad time, she, well, uh…let's just say that she was _pretty _scary.

"Uh…movie night, baby doll?"

She looked up from her book to meet his gaze and he was once more reminded how beautiful and fierce those hawk-eyes were; they were ever so slightly slanted and a curtain of vaguely curled black lashes just dared you to look into the beauty that was indigo and it wasn't just the colour but…but he couldn't really explain what it was that made them so breath-taking…the colour was pretty alright but it was something else that just made them so…ethereal.

Her forehead relaxed a little but her expression was still stern, "What did you want to watch?"

"'The Big Sleep'." He grinned and handed her the DVD case.

Raven took it gently from him with her delicate fingers and took a good look at it, "Is this the one with Humphrey Bogart as a private detective who's trying to solve a case about illegal pornographic books?"

It didn't sound like such a good movie when she explained it that way.

"Uh…yea…kinda…but..."

"Will you wait just long enough for me to get changed?" She asked and he noted that she smelt sincere, "You can prepare the DVD and the popcorn…and you can make us a couple of mugs of hot chocolate." A small smile graced her lips, "I like the mint ones."

His grin grew larger as she said those words and he watched—entranced—as she phased out and to what he thought was her room. The room chilled for a couple of seconds and black energy engulfed her petite body but in a second she was gone and so was the cold.

He scrambled out of the Common Room and towards the kitchen where he found the popcorn and the sachet of hot chocolate. With nothing in particular in his mind he searched the kitchen for their mugs—his one, unfortunately, had that fat cat on it and hers had the words 'Member of the National Sarcasm Society' painted on it in white—and set off to make their hot chocolates. Once he was done, he went off—with some difficulty, seeing that he was holding two mugs of steaming hot chocolate and a bowl of popcorn with extra butter—and was surprised to find Raven already sitting on the couch in a pair of shorts and a huge dark blue t-shirt.

"Well, that was quick…are you, like, secretly The Flash in disguise?" He asked, referring to Wally who had moved up in this world and was now in the 'big leagues'.

"Ha ha…funny." She motioned for him to sit next to her, "If you haven't noticed, I can phase through places Gar…and it doesn't take too long to change…" She paused and started muttering under her breath, "Unless I'm you and can't find any clean clothes under all the trash you have in your room."

"Hey! I heard that!"

He flopped on the couch next to her and nudged her playfully after his retort. All she did was smile softly while sipping her mint hot chocolate quietly. Garfield beamed and put an arm around her small shoulders—in which he was replied by a scent that told him that Raven was _really _comfortable—before pushing the play button.

Raven didn't say anything for a while and just laid her head gently on his shoulder, her legs curled up under her. Inside he was giggling madly like a school girl at how warm her head felt on his shoulder and how she smelt—God, she always smelt so nice—and the fact that she was still willing to lean on him when he was still gross and sweaty from a fight _still _impressed him after all this time that they'd been dating.

"So…" she took a handful of popcorn and started to eat it, quite prettily, he should add, "I've just realised something."

"What?"

She covered her mouth with her fingers thoughtfully before continuing, "Do you like Humphrey Bogart because he's short?" She looked up at him and flashed him a smirk.

He pouted in reply and poked her shoulder, "Must everything you say be a teensy weensy bit offensive?"

"Yes." She rolled her eyes at his mock-horror face and poked him back, "I'm kidding…but no…seriously…is his height one of the factors that makes you like him?"

"Maybe…" He smiled and motioned for her to lean on his shoulder once more, "You're not that tall either, y'know."

"And here I thought that was one of the reasons that you liked me…so you don't feel _entirely _emasculated." Her scent was spiked with mischievousness and he held her closer, "Isn't that what you told me when you tried to coerce me into a relationship with you?"

"Tried and _succeeded_…baby doll you know you can't live without your green, mean, lovin' machine." He tried to give her a kiss but she shoo-ed him away.

Her brows rose, "I think I'd be fine, thank you very much."

He pouted.

Her brows remained.

He decided to change tactics and turned into a kitten while making 'The Face' as Kori liked to call it; its powers were superior to any other power in the world and no one could resist it, if he ever met Superman, he knew that Superman wouldn't be able to resist such a face and, _man_, that dude was powerful.

"You do realise that 'The Face' as Kori has kindly dubbed it, does not work on me?" Her silky voice flowed out of her lips like honey.

Garfield reverted back to his human form and went back to good old fashioned pouting…_something _was bound to work on her.

"It _so _does work for you…you just won't admit it." He chuckled, "Plus I know for a fact that all you wanna do is hug me and love me and kiss me and make out with me and—"

"OK…I think I get the picture." Her scent was still that of amusement, "How many times have you watched this movie, Gar?" She changed the subject.

"Mmmm…" He frowned and he wasn't sure if it was from the fact that he wasn't too sure how many times he had watched this movie or the fact that Raven had abruptly changed the subject, "Once or twice…" The look she was giving him told him that she knew he was lying, "or five times. Why?"

The movie was already in the part where private detective Philip Marlowe had met Mrs. Vivian Rutlidge and he was still—and had always been—amazed at the intensity of their first meeting; they had only met for a couple of minutes before the chemistry was fully seen, and that in itself was amazing.

Raven shrugged and he felt her weight shift on him, "Just asking…I mean I've watched this so many times now that even _I _remember what happens…don't you get bored?"

"Me? Nah…it's a Bogie movie...the epitome of cool…"

"I think spending time with me has affected you." She stated shortly.

"Yea? How?"

She smiled slyly, "Your vocabulary's grown…I like the use of the word 'epitome'."

"Hey! I resent that!"

Raven sat up from his embrace and wordlessly gave him a peck on the cheek before settling back into her previous position. The warmth of the short kiss spread through his green cheeks and he felt his hands move to touch the spot where the kiss had been placed; that was…unexpected.

He grinned, "_Dude_…baby doll…what was that for?"

"What? You don't like it?" He could practically hear her brows rise in question.

"What? No! Loved it, baby doll…just goes to show how much you want me." He laughed and once again felt her weight shift.

"You can be a bit of a cocky bastard when it comes to it, can't you?" There was something light hearted in the way that she said it.

Garfield smirked and took a sip from his hot chocolate, "You know you love cocky bastards." It was lukewarm already and so he downed it, "Especially sexy, green ones."

"Hmmm…if you say so."

Silence crept in between them as they watched one of his most favourite movies of all times. The black and white movie crackled occasionally and sometimes the pictures didn't show up so well but it was still a really good story anyway; it had the perfect combination of crime, mystery, action and a little bit of romance…he wouldn't admit it to anyone but he was a sucker for romantic movies.

Suddenly he heard a loud thumping from above—the roof—and he stiffened; was someone trying to break into the tower? If that was true, the best way to handle it was to alert the rest of the Titans but that might take too much time and if the intruder was already this close, it was probably too late anyway…what to do, what to do?

Raven seemed to notice the way he had tensed at the sound and there was also a furtive glance on her face, her forehead contorted to form worry lines and her lips pursed together as if in concentration. After a while though, her expression stopped and she just looked at him as if there was nothing wrong.

"It's just Dick."

He backtracked, "Dick? What the hell is Dick doing on the roof in the middle of the night?"

"He's just relieving some stress." She replied shortly before moving her attention back to the movie.

"By doing what!? Trying to break the roof?"

"Rooftop run." At the blank stare that he gave her, she continued, "Something he used to do with Batgirl a lot. Whenever he feels like venting he usually does it on our roof or he sneaks out into the city to prowl the roofs there." Another blank stare, "He likes it…he was an acrobat before he became Robin, remember?" He nodded vaguely, "He says that whenever he does the rooftop run, for a second he feels like he's flying and—this is what he told me anyway—it's different to the way the you, me or Starfire flies…the way he flies…there's always the possibility of death."

"That's a bit creepy for someone who used to dress up as a traffic light."

"Says the guy who's in a relationship with the resident Goth." She smiled, almost wistfully, before continuing, "He doesn't know this but…I've watched him before…watched him do his rooftop run…and it's quite…_beautiful_." Raven shook her head and bit her lip as they both listened for the continuous _thump_ing, "Especially when he perches on a corner of a building…he crouches without moving a muscle and if you're not close enough, he looks like a gargoyle…it's eerily gothic, really."

"That guy's got some issues."

She shrugged, "Yea, he does but he wouldn't be Nightwing if it weren't for those issues, would he?"

He didn't reply to her rhetorical question as he knew that she didn't really expect an answer anyway; Raven shared a bond with Dick that he would most probably never understand and for some niggling feeling, he was glad that he would never fully understand it, there was just something about it that felt a bit…unnatural.

She sat stock still for a moment and he could feel how she tensed through the contact of skin to skin; her muscles froze and her eyes darted around for a while, mostly landing on the ceiling above them but after a while she relaxed once more; her hands curling around his fingers, her head buried in his chest and her breathing was slow and calming. No…he didn't understand the bond and he didn't feel that it was doing Raven any good but he didn't really have a right to say anything about it as it was such a private matter that it was only on rare occasions that Raven confided in him about the bond.

Garfield sat there, feeling her warmth distracting him as he tried hard to concentrate on the movie; _man_, everything about her just made him…he didn't really know the word for it, really. The words 'turn him on' didn't sound too right because it just sounded gross and vulgar and too…physical…but it was partially that but it was partially something else too. Really, Raven would know what he was talking about, wouldn't she? Well, maybe not…she might feel a bit offended actually—knowing her—though God knows it wasn't an insult…it was just that whenever he was around her, she planted his feet firmly on the ground and made him quite glad that he was green.

Hours went by, their bowl of popcorn finished—mostly by Garfield—and their mugs empty. The credits were now rolling slowly, accompanied by a slight crackling sound that came with these DVD copies of a film noir that he bought at that old movie store down the street. He moved to take the DVD out of the DVD player but then felt the weight on his shoulder shift and he looked at Raven curiously; she was fast asleep. He sat back down again, careful not to wake her up and watched as her chest rose and fell slowly, deep heavy breaths that told him that she was exhausted. He grinned inwardly; she only stayed there to watch the movie for him…that was a nice thought.

"Rae? Baby doll?" He poked her shoulder gently and shrugged as he didn't get any reaction from her, "Rae…" She still didn't move.

He used the 'Stop' button on the remote and threw it clumsily on the table, barely missing the floor. He let his fingers rake through the mass of violet-black hair lightly and revelled in the softness of each and every strand; it was longer now—barely reaching her shoulder blades—and he liked it that way because it softened her sharp features in the way that when it was shorter those features more but she had confessed that she was thinking of chopping it all off again, she just didn't think that she could bother with all the hassle that came with the long hair. He hoped she didn't though, he really liked it this length and he liked the fact that on rare occasions, she let him bury his face into her hair and take in her scent _completely_—hey!—it wasn't his _fault _that she smelt so goddamn gorgeous…he _so _did not have a fetish.

OK…maybe he had a little one.

"Rae…wake-y wake-y…" he whispered softly, "Rae…if you don't wake up now I think I'm gonna have to kiss you awake." He grinned stupidly at the thought but she still didn't wait; she was a bit more exhausted than usual apparently, "Baby doll…"

She didn't seem to be budging from his shoulder and so he sat there for a while, planning on what he could possibly do. Finally he decided what to do; he was going to carry her to her room. He steadily scooped her in his arms—stumbling ever so slightly when he finally moved her into his arms…she was heavier than she looked—and walked steadily towards the door so that he could take her to her room as quickly as possible.

His footsteps were clumsy as he wasn't too used to carrying Raven around—on second thought, she would probably kill him when she found out that he had to carry her to her room—but he made it pass the Common Room doors and to the corridors. The lights were on in the corridors—they always were—but they had a sort of dim glow to them and they were warm, not cold like they usually were earlier on in the night. He gritted his teeth as he found her slipping from her arms and took a minute or two before he could find a position that was both comfortable and would ensure that she didn't slip out so easily. Garfield was quite glad that her room was on the same floor as the Common Room or else he didn't know how he would be able to survive the long journey.

He grunted as he finally reached her room but then was stumped; he had forgotten that each room had their own lock which needed their own personal passwords in them, and Raven changed hers every week. He _did _find out what last week's were and he hoped that she had forgotten to change it this week, or else he was quite literally doomed.

Garfield paused before struggling to punch—since he now had to hold Raven with only one hand and, boy, was that hard— a few letters in; 'D503' and he waited for the little light thing to tell him if he had gotten it right or not…

_Beep_.

It flashed red and he cursed; she had already changed the password.

Garfield replied to this annoying sound by grumbling and so he tried another password; 'ThisEarthOfMankind', one of her favourite books.

He waited.

_Beep_.

"For the love of all that is good, why the hell won't you open up!?" He whispered harshly, glaring accusingly at the lock.

After that he tried loads of other things; characters from her favourite book, the name of her mother, the name of the little café she liked to go to when she had some alone time, that weird bookstore that opened early in the morning and he even went as far as—though this was more from desperation and entertainment more than anything else—typing in words like 'SexyGreenBeast', 'IHeartGarfield' and 'MakingOutWithBBIsTheBestThingInTheWorld'.

He sighed and felt like kicking the door to see if it would open, but he knew that it wouldn't. He stood there doing nothing for a moment, his arms aching as he started to feel her weight even more as every second went by and finally decided that though she probably wouldn't like it—he wasn't going to let her sleep on the couch ever again…especially since her three month ordeal—he was going to go to his room and put her in his bed.

Garfield trudged his way over to the elevator and waited impatiently as the lift made its way up to the top floor' he yawned, he was more tired than he thought he was. She looked like she was enjoying her sleep though, he thought rather scathingly, though he had to admit that she looked extremely…peaceful…this way. Suddenly the elevator door opened and he stepped inside, trying to push the button for his floor with quite a bit of effort. As it went down, he felt a strange lurching in his stomach but he ignored it and kept his concentration set on his way through to his room.

After the elevator door opened, it only took him a couple of seconds before he got to his room—to his relief—and he punched his password in quickly, almost crying out in happiness as he heard the door _swoosh _open. His gaze quickly set themselves on his bed and he scurried quickly towards it, his arms throbbing from how long he had been holding her for. One hand opened up the duvet to accommodate the length of her body and the other hand gradually lowered her onto his mattress, making sure that there were no sudden movements that would wake her up from the deep slumber that she was currently in. Once she was on the bed, he took the top of his blanket and covered it up to the top of her neck—a habit she had acquired from when she was still a kid—and for a few minutes he just stood over her to watch her in this weird, tranquil state of hers; recently, she told him that she had been having trouble sleeping lately, and he was glad that she was fast asleep now, she needed the rest.

Raven rolled over to face him subconsciously, her lips moving silently as they uttered voiceless words. He frowned and tried to read the words on her lips but he failed miserably as she gripped a pillow, her fingers curling tightly around the soft fabric. He sat down next to her on his mattress and traced a finger on the length of her arm, not expecting her to react by shuddering; he hoped that she wasn't having a bad dream. It killed him sometimes that he felt useless around her, like his morphing powers did nothing to prevent her from reliving her past…but she seemed content to have him by her side, green and idiotic as he was.

Her steady breathing continued and his gaze never left her, making sure that the pale-skinned girl next to him was safe, however ridiculous his protection over her seemed to be. Maybe he should curl up next to her? Lay his head next to hers and hold her tightly so that her shoulders wouldn't seem so strained? He grimaced at that thought and figured out that it wouldn't work out; no matter how close he and Raven had become, he knew that she would still feel uncomfortable with him sleeping in the same bed as she was. He still had a lot of walls to break down, even throughout the whole of the year and a half that they had been dating, there were still some barriers that kept him firmly out…but he would wait, if it wasn't time, it wasn't time. It didn't really matter that she still kept him at arm's length sometimes; she was his and his only.

He grinned.

Since he decided that sleeping in the same bed as her wasn't too good an idea, his gaze subsequently fell on the huge bean bag that was situated quite nicely near the window; maybe he could sleep there tonight. He yawned involuntarily and found that his body probably didn't give a damn where he slept as long as he did sleep. He stood up—whilst stretching his arms out above his head in an attempt to loosen his muscles—and took a last look at Raven before he would go to sleep; her brows were furrowed and the corners of her mouth looked a little sad. Slowly he kissed her forehead, pressing his lips on her warm skin for as long as possible before standing up again and he was pleased to find that the wrinkles in her forehead had relaxed and her lips held a ghost of a smile, it was nice to know that he affected her even in her sleep.

With slow, trudging footsteps, he made his way towards the bean bag and when he reached it, he promptly flopped onto it. He supported his chin on his fist and looked at the dark sky out of his window and the flashing lights of his beloved city; what time was it? He shook his head and realised that he didn't really want to know…or that he didn't really care and what he cared about was…

He yawned and felt his eyelids flutter close.

…he shook his head. He crossed his arms and let his head flop to the side, struggling to find a comfortable position when he knew that all he wanted to do was walk over to his bed and sleep next to _her_. He groaned and found that his train of thoughts about _her _and her _warmth_, her _scent_ and her _touch_, disorientated his need to sleep as his subconscious tried to tap into his most primitive form, not the Beast but it's most basic instincts.

He tried to shrug the feeling off and gripped onto one side of the bean bag as he felt the disorientation shoot sharply through his mind and he was glad when his primal instincts had finally been overcome by his sleepiness, his mind commanding all his muscles to relax and his breathing to slow down. He had done a lot tonight and he had no doubt that tomorrow would bring even more things to do, both the positives and the negatives.

Raven's irresistible scent fluttered towards him.

His nose twitched.

He inhaled harshly.

He closed his eyes forcefully, ignoring it all.

He exhaled.

And all was dark.

**A/N: Well, what did you guys think? Great? Idiotic? Bland? OK for a first chappie but not good enough to make you sing and dance for joy?**

**I'm sorry...I have a bit of a hyperactive imagination...I'm pretty sure none of you guys sing and dance when it comes to joy.**

**So anyways...a lot of foreshadowing...some internal struggles...probs some symbolism here and there...a lot of staring at Raven's face...you get the gist...but the question is...did you like it?**

**Anyways a bit off-topic but does anyone love the song "The one" by Vanessa Carlton and Stevie Nicks as much as I do? Its such a pretty song!**

**So...reviews please?**

**See you all (I hope) next time!**


	2. Whipped Cream

**A/N: Aaaaaaahhhh...I finally finished this chappie...it was taking me ages! **

**It's basically about...well...I won't tell you since I know some people hate spoilers (personally, am a big fan of spoilers...I have no idea why) but its from Rae's point of view...**

**Though admitedly I didn't really like my execution on this chappie because it's a bit jumpy here and there and after rereading I feel like I've taken you (and Raven, actually) forcefully into the deep end and while some people might like that, I know that other's aren't really partial to the idea.**

**Oh yea, also, warning:**

**- May be some implications of sex (though there isn't any)**

**- Also some making out...but it's not detailed...I hope.**

**- Raven also seems (even to me) quite OOC**

**BTW I've changed the rating to "M" just in case because I'm not too sure about ratings and whatnot...better safe than sorry, eh?**

**So anyways, read and enjoy eh?**

**Chapter 2**

_Flicker._

Her eyelids snapped open and she gripped at the duvet covering herself, feeling the damp sweat that ran down her face and the harsh breathing of her lungs. Her grip tightened as her eyes regained their ability to see and she found herself in a setting that she was sure was _not _her room; the walls had the same odd grey wash that everyone else had in the Tower and the size was about the same but—she let her eyes skim through her surroundings—there was a lot of mess, huge posters on the walls and—she took a good look at the duvet she was holding onto so vehemently—the duvet was green, which meant only one thing; she was in Garfield's room.

That explained a lot.

"Azar."

Ravens felt at her chest and was relieved that her shirt was still on and though she knew that he would never do anything that made her feel—for lack of better word—uncomfortable, her dreams believed otherwise.

She shut her eyes momentarily.

The dreams had started off typically—though she didn't like the fact that she had gotten so used to them…it wasn't natural!—with her reliving the past, her father's ghost of an image haunting her nightly and the pain and suffering that came with the prophecy was embedded in her mind every singly night and it burned sometimes…burned so much that she frequently rejected the welcoming embrace of sleep and forced her body to stay awake late into the night. It was just that last night her body couldn't take it anymore and the warmth of Garfield's embrace had seduced her into closing her eyes, however unwilling she was.

She bit her lip.

Then…then it changed…her dream, she couldn't explain _how_ but she knew it had something to do with her empathic powers and the way that they liked to roam freely in the dark of the night. She had been in the middle of another dreadful nightmare—though now she couldn't remember it as vividly as she usually did—and then there was just this sudden warmth that spread through her, momentarily making her forget about her dream; it was a gentle warmth, slightly sentimental and in her unconscious state, she vaguely recognised it as being Garfield.

And when it changed, it was like she was bombarded by different sets of emotions both physically and mentally; she felt like she could still feel the sensations that were triggered by the dream, sensations that Raven never knew existed and she wasn't sure about them.

She gripped the covers over her neck.

It was just the way that he _touched_ her, his _lips_ tracing themselves on her _throat_, his face _buried_ in her _hair_ as he took in her scent—he had always mentioned cranberries whenever they talked about that particular subject even though she had stopped using cranberry smelling soap some time ago—the way he _purred_ in her _ears_ and the way he _caressed _her when he…she shook her head; no, she just wasn't ready yet. It really wasn't the actions that bothered her—though it did bother her slightly but it was excusable since he was a guy and was bound to think of those things—but it was just that the actions seemed so _real _to her, like they were actually happening. Her arms were actually tingling from where he had traced his fingers and her breathing felt a little ragged, as if she had been physically involved in the dream…but she wasn't, and that's what scared her most.

Not that she didn't want to, of course, sometimes she did want to, especially when he kissed her the way he did and told her that he loved her and wanted to love her forever and ever…it was sometimes…quite persuasive but being the product of rape almost always interfered whenever she was almost…_persuaded_. It was also quite strange…did he _really_ feel so strongly about her? Well, to be honest, there wasn't any question about it…sometimes just the way he felt about her was enough to knock her off her feet…it was just that she wasn't sure about her feelings towards him.

Raven sat up from the bed and found that Garfield had taken to sleeping on a bean bag near the bed; at least this way she knew that he still knew where the boundaries were. His arms were crossed in front of him, his legs spread out widely and his head lolled to the side helplessly; he was uncomfortable, and that was self evident in the way his brows furrowed together to create lines on his forehead, the corners of his mouth downturned in frown…no, he wasn't in the least bit comfortable but he had decided to sleep on the bean bag for her and for some odd reason, that very simple action almost made up for the way he thought about her in his sleep.

_Almost._

She pulled the blanket firmly off her—watching as the thick fabric fell clumsily on the floor—and got out of the bed, walking towards him, then stopping just a couple of centimetres away from the bean bag. She closed her eyes and thought about the bean bag, to _be _the bean bag—it sounded silly, really, but that was the way her powers worked—and with a flick of her hand, she pulled the bean bag from under him, causing him to fall on the floor with a loud _thump_ and a groan.

She smirked, her arms crossed defiantly in front of her; that felt good.

Garfield groaned once more, his eyes shut firmly, "Wha…? What happened?" A broad, green hand rubbed the side of his head in circular motions, "My head hurts." He whined.

"Good morning." She ignored his question though she could tell that the sweetness of her greeting made him suspicious.

"My head hurts." He repeated but then she saw his eyes glance at the bean bag which was at least a metre away from he was now, "Hey! You did your weird power things and pulled the bean bag away!" He pouted and sat up from the floor, "What was that for!?"

She sat back down on the end of the bed, a smirk gracing itself on her thin lips, "_That's _what you get for not keeping your mind out of the gutter, Gar." Amusement sparkled inside her chest as he threw her a confused look, "Aren't you going to say good morning to me?"

"My mind out of the…" He paused, and she could see that his hands were just _itching _to scratch his ears, but he settled on raking his fingers through his mass of moss green hair instead, "You know, half the time you talk to me—when you_ do _bother to talk—I actually don't understand half of what you're saying but right now I'm just a bit…uh…blank."

She shrugged almost casually and crossed her legs; a foot dangling up in midair, "Your dreams last night were extremely…" Raven paused, a finger touching her lower lip in thought, "_vivid_."

He frowned and she realised that though she attempted to keep that last sentence light-hearted—or as light-hearted as she was capable of being—had failed completely and that her tone of voice was a little more serious than she thought it sounded in her head. She still didn't understand him when he was like…_this_; when he decided to shed his happy-go-lucky skin and actually _display _his concern over her…it was slightly disconcerting. Garfield had always been one to keep his heart on his sleeve but it was always covered by a shroud of—distasteful—comedic input, but when it came to these _moments_, he threw away the humour altogether and just concentrated everything on her; it made her cringe sometimes.

And it was no different now; his lips were pursed, his hand inevitably scratching at his ears, his other hand bundled in a tight fist, his brows scrunched together, and his eyes had lost all mischievousness it had had prior to her statement. His—to put it crudely, though it wasn't exactly correct—aura had changed drastically too, just like his body language had, and she couldn't put her finger on how he was feeling, just that he was more alert than usual, more alert and more self-conscious.

She shook her head, crossing her arms in front of her, "Forget about it Gar, it's nothing." She threw him a smile, "How come you didn't bring me to my room?"

The look that he was giving now had always disturbed her in one way or another but for a fleeting moment, she smiled; it was the same look that he gave her when he first found her sleeping on the couch.

"You changed your password again, remember? I mean, I tried waking you up but you didn't seem to want to, so I carried you here…I hope you don't mind…I mean I know you don't like me carrying you but I _really _didn't want you sleeping on that couch…ever…_again_." He stood up for a moment then went to sit next to her on the edge of the bed.

"Not that I had much of a choice, did I?" She realised that even to her own ears, those harmless words had an edge to them.

"Baby doll…" he touched her shoulder momentarily then laid his hand back at his side, "what's wrong? No offence or anything but…you smell _wrong_. Not that you don't smell gorgeous like usual but it's covered up by this really nasty smell…it smells like…" he sniffed subconsciously before she found herself watching as his eyes widened, "You're scared?"

It was a question, "No…not really scared…just…self conscious, I guess."

"Of what?"

She bit her lip and remained silent, refusing to see his eyes…it didn't really matter anyway, it wasn't like it was real.

But it _felt _real.

He took her chin gently in his hands and turned it ever so slightly so that she would be facing him, "You know you can tell me anything, baby doll, and it doesn't matter that you're doing that 'I'm-so-indifferent-to-everything' face…I _still _can tell that there's something wrong, something you're worried about." He sighed, "Rae, all I want to do is help and I can't do that without you giving me _some _kind of information on what's bothering you."

The silence remained, blanketing the whole of the room and the only sounds you could hear were the sounds of their breathing and the way they differed; Garfield's breathing could sometimes be described as erratic and he always breathed in and out like he had just done a marathon whereas her own breathing was calmer and more controlled…it was funny how even their bodies described how they were personality-wise.

"You said something about getting my mind out of the gutter and my _vivid _dream…what did I dream…?" he stopped his verbal trail of thought and a splash of horror ran through his emotions, causing her to almost physically flinch away, "Oh, _baby doll_, I didn't…I didn't mean to…I didn't know…" Garfield's words trailed off and then when they continued, there seemed to be a certain sharpness to them, "Did you see…_everything_?"

She felt her chakra glow briefly and by impulse she touched it, as if it would stop the glowing, "More or less." Her voice was monotonous.

He snarled and she presumed that it was more to himself rather than towards her, "Baby doll, you know I'd never…I wouldn't…I…shit!" He raked a hand through his hair, "_Rae_…you know I would never do _anything _to you…not until you're ready, anyway."

She sighed and freed her arms from the crossing position they were before and laid them on her side, her hands pressing into the soft mattress below her. With those actions, he reached out to hold her hand and interlocked her fingers with his ones, once again fascinating her with the contrast of colours; the contrast of their lives and personalities. Of course, it was slightly absurd for her to see anything deep and meaningful in such a simple gesture but sometimes she couldn't help it; it _was_ there...she could _feel _it.

"I know…" she heaved another sigh and looked up from their hands to meet his startlingly green eyes; they looked like uncut emeralds right now, cloudy with concern, "that's why I tried to put the subject off."

"Yea, but you brought the subject on by pulling my bean bag away…though I guess I deserve it."

Raven shook her head in protest, "No, I don't think you did. I mean, you have every right to think of me, however you want to think of me—though I truly hope there is more to our relationship than _that_…or your hopes for _that_—but I was just a bit edgy because the actions were so…_real_," she shuddered, "and your emotions were so _loud_. It was like I was really there…like I was _really _the one you were sleeping with and not just what your mind could conjure up of me." Raven paused before continuing, "Do you really consciously think of sleeping with me with so much…_fervour_?"

"Honestly?" His face was questioning, as if he didn't know if she really wanted an answer or not.

She nodded.

"Then, I guess…yea. I mean I try not to…like consciously…or else I'd have to have a _lot _more cold showers than I already do now—"

Her brows rose, "I _really _didn't need to know that."

He chuckled nervously, "You _did_ ask, baby doll and you did want the truth." He shrugged in a non-committal sort of way, "I can't help it if you look gorgeous all the time."

"Thanks…I guess."

She really didn't know what else to say; at one point it _was _the answer that she knew she would receive but on the other hand, she had hoped that there was a different answer…one that was less—was _safe _the right word for it?—something.

He suddenly gritted his teeth, as if he was holding back another titbit of information that he probably thought that she didn't need to know, but wanting to tell her it at the same time anyway. She watched as his face suddenly smoothed out and a smile lit his face…but there was something odd about it…like…she shook her head; though she was usually quite an observant person due to her empathic powers and her introverted nature, she still wasn't sure if she really did see the weird way his eyes flickered when he looked at her before looking down, his cheeks stained dark purple.

"Sometimes…sometimes I think that you're too much for me…" he sighed and gripped her hand tighter, "It's just…everything about you makes me go _crazy _and sometimes just being near you is unbearable…I don't know if it's just me since I've got some primal characteristics—to breed and to survive—in me but the way you make me feel is quite…intense."

"I know…I'm an empath remember?"

He grinned, "Oh yea, sorry…but the point is that I can still control it and _will _control it until…well…until you're ready." His smiled suddenly turned soft and she couldn't help but smile back, "And not before."

"Even if it takes me—what?—two years?"

"Yea."

"Five years?"

It was his turn to cock a brow, "It's a stretch, but yea."

"How about…ten years?" She smirked, challenging him, and secretly happy that though the atmosphere had not completely settled, there was some light-hearted feel to their conversation.

"Now _that's _just taking the cake, baby doll." He sounded outraged but the gleeful look on his face told her otherwise.

She closed her eyes and let his emotions wash over her; they were comforting—to say the least—and though anyone could tell how he was feeling just by the way he was acting, it was always nice to know that she was the only one who could tell if he was a hundred percent happy or a hundred percent sad. He was just so familiar to her that she had to laugh inwardly whenever she thought about the times when they were younger, less accustomed to sharing with others, less able to deal with each other's personalities…and she laughed at how she could've thought that being in a relationship with him was ludicrous.

Suddenly, she felt a surge of emotions bombard her and physically she felt his lips kiss the tip of her nose softly and in her mind's eye she could see him do just that with his eyes closed as well and his hand never leaving hers. As his lips left her nose, her eyes flickered open to find a very uncharacteristically serious Garfield.

"I was joking, baby doll; if I have to I'll wait _forever_ until you're ready, I'll wait," He grinned, "and if there was something more than forever, I'd wait even longer and if you're still not ready, even longer than that."

"You're so soppy, it's quite ludicrous." She felt the edge of her lips twitch, "You know I found the whipped cream quite amusing." She had to suppress a giggle as his face turned to horror.

"The…the…the whipped…cream?" He stuttered helplessly and she had to bite her lip to stop the laughter from spilling out, "W-what whipped cream?"

She couldn't help but smirk, "However, I would've thought that you'd object to using whipped cream…it is, after all, made from milk." Amusement bubbled in her as his jaw dropped even lower than it had before, "Maybe it was made from soy milk?" She knew she was smiling now but she couldn't help it.

"Whipped…what…soy milk…cream…uh…how…what…" He closed his eyes in frustration and pouted.

"I was just joking, Gar…there really wasn't any whipped cream involved." Raven breathed a low, throaty chuckle.

He frowned, his lower lip jutting out defiantly, "You know you should leave the funny stuff to me…you are _so _not funny."

She threw him a knowing smile and shrugged, "You do realise no one finds you funny either, right?"

"I _so _am funny…I mean…I mean I know that _you _find me funny." He grinned.

Raven flashed him a pained look, "Happy does not count."

"Sure she does." His grin grew.

"Hmmmm…"

There was silence for a while but then he moved in closer to her and as if by impulse, she closed her eyes and just revelled in his warm breath. Her skin tingled oddly as he brushed his lips against the skin of her cheekbones, sliding them downwards towards her jaw line ever so slowly. She breathed a small sigh as she felt her heart beat faster and her hands slipped away from his large hands and they curled up on his torso, before settling itself on his chest and—she felt it!—there was the odd syncopated beat that always triggered something in her and in turn made her already speeding heart beat faster still. He had once told her that if she had lost hope in his affection for her then she should feel the beat of his heart and he said that the odd, erratic, syncopated rhythm was made by her and her alone yet she didn't disbelieve him, it was just that it was nice that she still had—after all this time—some effect on him.

His hands raked through her hair and she felt heard him take in her scent, his breath ragged against her cold skin. She kept her eyes closed as his lips traced their way to her eyelids and at that very moment she didn't just feel things physically but mentally also and it made for very…strange sensations; the way that his wanting intertwined with the way he touched her cheeks with his fingers, the way his reluctance showed itself when his shoulders accidentally bumped into hers, the way he seemed self-conscious whenever her hands travelled away from his chest and the explosion of affection whenever she nuzzled her nose against his own…it was so explosive that maybe it could've been love but seeing as she had never explored that emotion herself, identifying it was a difficult thing to do.

She felt a shudder run down her spine as his fingers traced her collar bones, the calluses of his fingers rubbing against her skin and her thoughts about his dreams were all but forgotten even though it had disturbed her to quite an extent that she had caused him _some _physical harm. His lips finally met hers though they were mere touches and nothing else—it was like he had taken their conversation into consideration and was trying to be careful with her—and the reluctance in him was strong, though not strong enough for him to willingly pull away from her.

Then amidst all the light kisses she felt him speak against her lips and what he said caused her eyes to widen, "Love you, Rae."

Three simple words, and yet it was enough to turn her stiff as a board and to push him away gently with what force she had after their intimate gestures. Her eyes flashed open and she found him looking concerned and—if not—a little upset at her actions but she couldn't help it…there was just something in those words that made her freeze up and react the way that she did.

"Rae…are you OK?"

She attempted a smile, "I'm OK…it's just that…you…smell…ever so slightly." She screwed up her nose to seem more convincing, though she wasn't sure if he believed her or not, "You didn't change your clothes last night."

And though she hadn't realised it before she had spoken those words, she just realised that what she had just said were true; he _did _smell and he _was _still wearing his uniform.

His frown remained but he still answered her question, "I forgot…I guess…I didn't think past getting you on a bed."

The uncomfortable silence was back again and she shrugged to herself, as if it would make the painful quiet slip away from her shoulders.

"I'm sorry 'bout that before…" he looked at her sincerely, "I couldn't help myself, I guess." He chuckled nervously, "If I knew that you were so pretty in the morning then I would've probably insisted that you slept in my room every night so that the first thing I see is you."

"It's OK; I guess…it wasn't like I didn't enjoy it either." She felt her cheeks heat up as those words came flying out of her mouth.

He beamed at her, "You enjoyed it." His tone was teasing.

She raised a brow at this comment, "I believe I just stated that I enjoyed it."

"You enjoyed it…more than you enjoy meditating?" He fluttered his lashes at her.

"Meditating is a necessity; I don't do it for entertainment." She crossed her arms in front of her.

"Fine." Garfield pouted, "More than you enjoy dancing with me?"

"I guess."

"More than reading your favourite books?" It didn't matter that he had 'matured'—in a sense—he still loved to tease her.

Two could play that game.

"Now, Gar, let's not push it so far, shall we?" Raven threw him a knowing look and smiled as he seemed to choke.

"That's just plain mean." He moaned and stuck out a tongue at her, "You're a mean girlfriend."

"And you're green…we can't always go around stating the obvious, can we?" She rolled her eyes.

Garfield reached out to tuck one of her stray hairs behind her ears, intertwining it softly between his fingers before finally tucking it in, "Doesn't matter that you're a mean girlfriend…you're _my _mean girlfriend." He kissed her gently on her forehead.

"Am I supposed to reply with something like 'it doesn't matter that you're an idiot, you're _my _idiot'?" She felt herself smirking almost automatically.

"I guess something along the lines of that…just not as _mean_." He suddenly grinned, "Hey do you wanna play the GameStation with me today? _Please_?"

"You're an idiot to think that I'd play that mind-rotting junk."

He laughed, "But I'm still _your _idiot and you love me for it." He sent her a pleading look but when she didn't budge, he sighed, "_Fine_. Since you obviously don't appreciate the fine art of game-playing, do you wanna help me with my paper? This zoology course is a bitch."

"Sure, let's have breakfast first. You look…" she wasn't too sure if it was the right word or not but it was the first that entered her mind, "hungry."

As if on cue, his stomach grumbled and he had the grace to grin sheepishly, "Great idea baby doll…let's go." He took her hand.

"First though…_you _are going to take a shower…or at least change your clothes…I'm not exaggerating when I say that you frankly smell quite disgusting." She wrinkled her nose at him.

"Fine." He pouted then kissed her lightly on the top of her head, "I'll see you down soon. Do you want me to make you tofu waffles?" He asked as an afterthought, his ears perking up eagerly.

She cocked her brow, "You do realise that despite the fact that I'm with you, I _still_ have an aversion to tofu, right?"

"I know, I just thought that you might've changed your mind already."

"You really are a strange creature."She took her hand away from his grip, "I'll be going now."

"What? No goodbye kiss?" He pushed his lips out mockingly, amusement sparkling in his eyes.

"Really now, Garfield, I'll be seeing you down soon."

She closed her eyes and imagined the kitchen in her mind's eye and she suddenly felt cold as her powers enveloped her to take her to the kitchen but before she was transported, she thought that she heard him call out to her; his familiar voice travelling lightly to her ears.

"I love you baby doll, you do know that, right?"

It was a relief to find that her powers had taken her away before she was obliged to reply to his unfamiliar words and that she didn't have to be a bumbling idiot stuttering because she didn't know what to say back to him. It was a relief to find herself in the extremely clean kitchen with it's odd utensils that she had no idea how to use—and her friends had warned her not to use…_ever _again—and with food that sometimes were…dangerous…to say the least. It was _not _a relief, however, to find Vic sitting on the table, eating something that seemed to look like a meat patty in between meat buns with meat fries; she had to admit, sometimes Garfield did have a point, the amount of meat that Vic seemed to eat was sometimes very disgusting and just downright nauseating.

Maybe, if she phased out _really _quietly out of the kitchen, he wouldn't notice her.

"Hey Raven."

He noticed her.

She sighed, "Morning Vic."

She made her way to the cupboard and fished out her powdered chamomile tea before scurrying off to try to find the china cup that she used during her tea sessions. After she found it, Raven scooped up the right amount of powdered tea into her cup before turning around to face Vic again.

"Nice sleep, Raven? Not too tired from watchin' that weird movie that Gar played last night?"

She frowned, "It was decent…not that I get much sleep anyway with the alarms ringing at night and all." Raven poured hot water into her cup, "I was surprised that the alarm didn't go off again last night, actually."

"Well, with Red X and all, the police force are the ones who are taking down the minor crimes and shit…ever since the Mayor's found out that his suit used to be Dick's…well…it hasn't been too pretty."

"Mmmm…I know…" She took a sip and found that it was still too hot, "It's not helping Dick out much either, whenever I accidentally sense his dreams, they're always either too hot or too cold…it hasn't been helping…" Raven slowly shrugged and stared down at her cup, "Suffice to say…Kori's a bit worried." She stated shortly.

"Yea, but she's always worried…especially when it has somethin' to do with Dick…" He chuckled before taking a bite out of his meal.

Raven scrutinised her drink for a while, "I guess so…" she sipped and sighed as the warmth coursed through her body, making her forget about the cold winter air, "So, enough about that…how're you and Jinx?"

She bit a laugh back as he choked on one of his meat fries and his red-eye went haywire for a second or so, "J-Jinx? What…what about Jinx?" He tried to compose himself for a moment by downing a large glass of milk but it honestly didn't work, "I haven't seen her in a…while."

"You know it's not that easy to lie to me…I seem to have to keep reminding people that I'm an empath and can sense things." She rolled her eyes, "So, has she told you her real name yet? It's a very _nice _name, if I may say so."

He sighed in resignation, "We haven't gotten that far yet…she hasn' been too trustin' since she and Flash broke it off…I've only actually seen her _once_ since we've…started."

"When did it start anyway? I mean, I have a pretty good idea but I still can't put my finger on the exact time."

"Around the time you two go serious." He didn't bother to mention who the other half of the 'two' was.

Now _that _got her attention, "Around the time we got serious? When exactly was that?"

"'Bout seven or eight months ago, I'm guessin'."

"And how would you know when we got 'serious'?"

He grinned at her, that infuriating, knowing look that he had on his face a lot, "This eye," he pointed at his mechanical one, "records everythin' and stashes it away in some folders in my head so that I can recover 'em anytime I wanted." He tapped his eye once again, "And I don't miss much."

"Elaborate." She moved from the position she was before and went to sit next to him.

He cocked a brow at her but didn't say anything, "Man, you're in a really chatty mood today, are you sure that you're feelin' alrigh'?"

She glared at him while simultaneously sipping on her tea, "Don't push it Vic, it's a rarity just for me to talk to _anyone _in the morning so you better count yourself lucky."

"Haha, OK, OK, I get it…I am now the luckiest man in the world." His full-fledged grin came back again.

"So, enlighten me."

"OK, well he's done three things that he would have never done if he wasn't datin' you; one, he's lessened the time he spends tryin' to make kissy faces when he's around Kori and Dick, two he actually goes to the library to take out a book—it still amazes me that he can _read_—instead of goin' there to draw moustaches in the picture books and newspapers and three," he took out three fingers for more emphasis, "he actually gets down to do his school work, like properly…I mean it might just be because he has some animal genes in him but he's doin' pretty well at that uni. I mean, they ain't the highest grades but they're steady and as long as he ain't failin', I give props to him."

"They're a bit superficial, aren't they?" Raven asked, referring to his answers.

He shrugged in return and finished off the last of his meat fries, "But you gotta admit, those changes are pretty big for someone like him. He's not the little runt that we first met all those years ago."

"But that just proves that he's serious about _me _and not vice versa."

"Yea, well, it's a bit harder with you but I just know that it's there." His voice seemed to tell her that he was unsure himself but determined to stick to his convictions, "What's it to you anyway? You never seemed interested in this before…you just, y'know, went with the flow and shit. You seemed to anyway." He added as an afterthought.

Raven paused and let her fingers slide off the fragile porcelain cup for a while and they tingled individually with the traces of warmth that was still on the very tips, her mind pondering on the question he had just posed; why did she want to know, anyway? Was it because of the way he dreamt about her? Those extremely physical visions that made her blush every time she thought about them? The way that he made _her _feel every time she felt his presence, his touch? Or maybe it was the way that those feelings contradicted the way she felt about the prospect of sex; how daunting it was and how uncomfortable it made her feel whenever the topic was brought up? Yet she had a feeling in the back of her head that it had something to do with those three_ little_ words and the way that he said it just made her want to rethink it all even though she knew that they were perfectly fine…a little unsteady at times…but still fine.

She shook her head and placed her fingers through the cup handle daintily.

She was over thinking everything, definitely and—Garfield had even taken the time to notice—she actually did it a lot and—he also pointed out—it wasn't too good for her. Especially in the morning—she closed her eyes thoughtfully for a moment—he had told her that thinking too much in the morning was not in the least bit productive and could even cause someone to become stagnant because of being stuck in their own thoughts.

She smiled inwardly at the thought.

Over thinking things was definitely not the way to go, she decided, and maybe Vic had a point, maybe she just had to go with the flow and see where that flow leads her to, hopefully leading her to something bigger and better…or maybe not bigger…just better. They were, after all, still young and maybe in terms of relationships she was even younger in age than she was in reality, than maybe _he _was despite the fact that she was a year older than him. Right now, she was comfortable and loved, sometimes she was extremely annoyed at his behaviour, but she still felt loved and though she wasn't too sure about her own feelings towards him, on whether or not they were as strong as his were towards her but she wasn't going to rush it…rush _this_. Maybe in time, when she felt mentally stable and mentally ready, she would speak those three little words back to him without blowing anything up.

Maybe in time…maybe…

Suddenly she heard the door _swoosh _open to reveal a young man in his early twenties stumble through the door clumsily, a sheepish grin seemingly glued on his face permanently. He caught her eye and winked at her, revealing a pair of glistening white fangs that she found quite intriguing from time to time and the way his dark brows curled at the edges when he smiled was amusing. His olive green hand raked smoothly through the mass of moss green hair found atop his head and his pointed ears perked up—alert—when he caught her giving him the tiniest, most miniscule of smiles. As soon as he entered the kitchen, everything about him promoted happiness and laughter; the way his broad shoulders were straight and proud, his long—but even—strides as he made his way towards her, the way his arms swung casually by his sides and the low chuckle that he emitted now and then.

Raven glanced at Vic, a smirk curled on her lips and the voice that sometimes sounded so venomous suddenly sounded solemn yet understanding, "Serious, huh?" She murmured, almost under her breath.

He found herself not seeing, but feeling the small, knowing smile that graced her brother-figure's lips.

Maybe…

…but not yet.

**A/N: Ahhhh...so...what did you think? No, honestly, really...just don't be too mean about it...please?**

**If no one's guessed yet...this is gonna be one of those "cracks" that she wants to mend though how it becomes a "crack"...well I'll never tell!**

**:giggles maniacally:**

**And one more thing...Cyborg was supposed to play a bigger role in this chappie with the whole Jinx thing (because I swear I need to put more chappies in with him dagnammit!) but it just kinda...I dunno...failed?**

**Anyway, something almost out of context...I was wondering...for those who read RENOVATION do any specific songs come to your mind? Coz I'm in a music rut right now and need some music to listen to...and it would be nice to listen to music that reminded me of my first TT ficcie...also if it reminds u of a specific chappie can you tell me which one it is...please?**

**Man, I love you guys too much for words.**

**Muchos Luvos!**


	3. Clipped Wings

**A/N: I actually really like this chappie (for once in my life...:grin:) though you all may have mixed feelings about it.**

**Warning though, this has references to "The Killing Joke" though I modified it a bit to suit me.**

**:grin:**

**So for those who loved "The Killing Joke" and thought that I besmirched its image...don't flame me! I loved that comic...well..I can't help it...I love all comics written by Alan Moore...he is one cool dude.**

**Oh, and for those who haven't read it...the A/N at the bottom should explain it for you.**

**Also, I've just realised that I should've warned you from the beginning but though this story is TOTALLY a BBRae story, its not always going to be the main focus of some chappies...though there will always be a sense of BBRae-ness to the chappies.**

**Also, this is TOTALLY not a RobRae chappie even though I totally luveth this pairing also...though BBRae are my fav.**

**:huggles:**

**So read and enjoy, eh? And review! Don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 3**

"_So_…Raven…the pink or the orange…_or_…the _red_?"

Garfield watched as Raven's face turned into a hard glare as Kori had literally flown into the Common Room while holding three tiny bottles of nail polish in her hands, causing him to chuckle, which in turn caused his girlfriend to transfer her glare from the glass bottles to him.

She coughed, "Kori, you have got to be kidding…what gave you the idea that I was going to allow you to paint my nails?"

He kept his concentration on the TV show that he was watching but it was kinda hard, he really liked listening to Raven and Kori speaking, it just reminded him that despite the fact that she was an empath with a demon—_the _Trigon—as a father, she was—underneath it all—just your normal, everyday girl…well…as normal as someone with the ability to move things with your mind was.

"Well…" Kori's tinkering voice travelled through his ears, "You did the earth saying of 'I owe you one' when I gave you one of the tampons last week when you did the finding out that your stash had been finished…this is, what I believe to be, the thing that you owe me…unless you intend to give me one in return…I do not see how it is to be use, however, seeing as though I am not experiencing the menstruation…as you terrans call it."

He almost choked when the Tamaranian had spouted all _that _out, but he wasn't too sure whether or not it was from laughter or disgust or just from the plain obliviousness that Kori displayed when she had stated that blatant remark. Almost instantly, he could feel the raw heat of embarrassment coming from Raven and the slight stench that came from her obvious annoyance at _his _obvious amusement; at times like these he completely forgot that she was an empath…but right now she was _hella _pissed off at her for laughing inwardly…he could actually feel her glare burning his back.

Raven cleared her throat, "Kori…you do realise that it isn't…um…polite…to talk about our periods in front of…_others_." At this sentence, he braved a glance at her, only to find a dark raised brow.

"Oh…yes…I do remember, you have told me not to mention the cycle prior to this conversation…" Kori giggled, her fingers still wrapped firmly around the bottles, "You did say that it made the people of the male gender…_uncomfortable_…though, truly, I do not understand why since it is only natural…is it not?"

"Natural…yes. A topic generally spoken within casual conversation…no. The term 'boys will be boys' come to mind…" She smiled, that soft smile always accompanied by a certain amusement in her eyes, which caused him to wonder what she was actually thinking about…was she _still _thinking about what had happened yesterday?

Realisation dawned in Kori's startlingly peridot-green eyes, her lips forming an 'o' shape in what seemed to be shock, "Is this the reason that Dick turned a bright shade of red when I mentioned it to him two weeks ago? He seemed to be in a hurry once I had spoken those words."

"Probably…even someone like the _mighty _Dick Grayson can get embarrassed at times."

Garfield decided to butt into the conversation at this point, "I still find him trying to give you the sex talk _way _funnier than what your conversation with him about your period must've been like." He grinned, a laugh escaping his lips once he remembered fondly about that time, "He couldn't look at a banana or a doughnut for _days_!" He laughed loudly at the memory.

Her brow remained in their place but this time he had turned away from him and was looking at Kori, a small frown tracing her lips, "On the other hand…I think I'd rather have an _embarrassed_ boyfriend rather than an _immature_ one." Her words sounded mean even to his ears but the playful scent that came to his nose told him a different story…well it was _mostly_ playful…there _was _some seriousness to her scent but he ignored it.

"She did not mean to be offensive, friend Garfield." Kori's voice implored.

He grinned at her and winked at both girls, "I know…she loves me really."

He watched as Raven turned to look at him, her dark hair softly swaying with the movement of the turn, "You wish Garfield…on both accounts."

"No, seriously Kor…" his grinned grew even larger, if that was even possible, "she's a happy person really…down there…_somewhere_."

The gorgeous auburn-haired alien sat down in between the two, crossing her long legs enticingly—though she was completely unaware of this…he hoped—her fleshy lips pursed in thought and her fingers twirling an individual lock of hair. Dick was one_ lucky_ man…but just one glance at Raven and her beautiful eyes framed by the darkest lashes possible and with the palest—so pale that it was _almost _grey—softest skin, told him that he was lucky too…maybe in a different way…but still lucky.

"You two make the most glorious couple I have yet to witness!" Kori cooed, clapping her hands in delight, "you are even _more _adorable than what I had presumed before…you are like the yin and the yang! It is glorious to see the philosophy come to life in such an odd yet marvellous way!" Her full lips curled to form a child-like smile, "Love is glorious, is it not?"

"I think I preferred the conversation about the nail polishes." Raven stated bluntly, tucking in the bookmark gently in between the thin pages of her novel, "Why are you even painting my nails anyway? Are we going somewhere?"

He grinned—though he still faced the TV screen—as she pursed her thin—yet perfectly cupid bow shaped—lips in wonder; she probably had forgotten.

Kori gasped, "But…friend Raven…how could you have forgotten? It is the most important night of the week…it is…"

"KARAOKE NIGHT!" He crooned in unison with Kori and as they stopped, he found himself grinning stupidly, Kori's face mimicking his own.

"Is it just me or do we have an excess in weekly traditions?"

Garfield pouted at his girlfriend, "Don't make me do The Face." He threatened.

He almost laughed when she continued to roll her eyes; she was so predictable sometimes, "It doesn't work on me, didn't I tell you this just yesterday? Or was it two days ago?"

"Oh, how could you not fall under the enchanting spell of The Face, friend Raven? Is it not the epitome of the most adorable?" Kori asked, her eyes opened wide, making her Bambi eyes even bigger than before.

Raven sighed, "Fine, you can paint my nails _and _come with you guys to go to the karaoke place…but I am _not _singing." He watched as she breathed another sigh, her chest falling slowly as she exhaled, "Are Vic and Dick coming? I mean, as much as I do love you two's…_singing_…I would prefer it if I had at least _someone _to have an intelligent conversation with during the intervals."

Garfield was a bit put out at this comment but he let it pass; maybe she was still on her period? How long were periods anyway? He had heard that girls got grumpy when they were on their periods…was it because they craved so much chocolate and when they found out that there weren't any more chocolate in the house, they went on some sort of food rampage?

He glanced at her for a couple of seconds before shaking his head.

Why was he even thinking about period's anyway?

And what the hell were tampons?

OK…well…he knew what tampons were but how…

…OK…he wasn't even going to _voice _that question…not even in his head.

He grinned sheepishly as he found Raven looking at him questioningly; she didn't know what he was thinking right? She was an empath…not a mind reader and the only person that she was capable of exchanging thoughts with were the ones that she had formed with others and in this case it was Dick.

"Dick is coming…Vic isn't." He glanced at Kori, her expression that of confusion, "Vic is…busy tonight."

Raven nodded slowly, "Yes Kor…he's busy tonight."

"Oh…" Kori looked downcast, "That is sad…I was hoping to do the duet with him…we were to sing 'Don't go breakin' my heart' together…"

"He'll be back tomorrow morning though, don't worry 'bout it." He smiled and squeezed Kori's hand, "This just means that you have _another _week to practice your duet!" His smile grew bigger as her smile formed silently on her lips.

The Tamaranian tucked a stray flaming red hair behind her ears, "That is delightful!" A giggle escaped her lips, "This just means that I shall be even better at the karaoke singing!" Her grin grew child-like once more, "You _do _have a way with making people smile, friend Garfield."

At this remark, he poked leaned across to poke her on the shoulder and he was replied with a look that just screamed disdain.

He shrugged, "See!" He claimed proudly, puffing up his chest exaggeratedly and pointing at it, "_Someone _thinks I'm funny."

The scent that emanated from her was that of amusement—she seemed to find him amusing _a lot_—and exasperation but her brow arched at him as if questioning his sanity; despite the fact that they had been going out for a year and more, she still seemed to think that there was something wrong with his brain and also that since this was _clearly _the case, then there must've been something wrong with her own brain for fooling her into liking him. He hoped with all his might that she was joking.

"Well, I guess someone was bound to, Gar." A smirk danced on her lips but then they instantly turned into a frown, "So…since it's only going to be me, Gar, you and Dick…does that mean it's a double date?"

Kori's face instantly lit up; clearly, by the look on her face, she hadn't thought of that, "That is a marvellous idea, friend Raven! I did not think of it but…truly, you are—as they say here on Earth—a genius."

He laughed as she was then assaulted by Kori with a bone-crushing hug, thankful that he wasn't the one that was on the receiving end; Kori's hugs were strong and by the way she hugged Raven, she wasn't even using all the strength that she possessed.

That was kinda freaky.

Raven, on the other hand, was taking it all in quite calmly but her scent told him differently—and by the way she looked at him—she was doing it on purpose, urging him to somehow save her from her best friend's death grip. Her scent was all sorts, but the one that seemed to stand out most was the desperation that she felt; probably desperation to get out of Kori's arms and also discomfort. It was—admittedly—quite uncomfortable to find yourself in one of Kori's hugs…of course they were all in good intentions but that didn't mean that they still didn't…

He cleared his throat.

…hurt.

After what seemed to be five minutes or so, Kori released her embrace, and he suddenly found himself listening to her gushing her heart out to Raven about how earlier on in the day, she was at the mall and that a model agent had asked her to apply to their agency; it was surprising really since Kori had some random growth spurt last year and was now _the _tallest out of everyone there except for Vic—her being 6'4" and all, compared to Dick's 5'11" and Vic's 6'6"—what was more surprising was that she hadn't been picked up earlier because—did he already mention this before?—the woman was drop dead gorgeous.

"That's great Kor…have you told Dick yet?" Raven's haunting voice caused his ears to perk up.

Without realising it, he tuned out of all the sounds around him except for Raven's voice and though he heard it every single damn day, it was still the single most sexiest thing that he had ever heard; it was _that_…wonderful…to listen to.

She seemed to be pondering on something, but he wasn't sure what, "The main agency is in New York, huh? That's a bit far…"

It was throaty and low pitched, as if she was having her throat constantly scratched by someone. It wasn't just the way her voice sounded though, it was also the way she delivered her words; every single one of them being sticky with sarcasm, or devoid of tone and it all made her sound like she took herself very seriously…

"Well…I'm not one for prancing around in nothing but lingerie, but it sounds like a _great _opportunity." The eye rolling commenced.

…and girls who took themselves too seriously were kinda hot.

"No…_no_…I _do _think that it sounds good Kor…but I'm just saying that maybe wait until…" Her words faltered and suddenly things just _changed_.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he sensed the change in her scent, and the thing that made him wary was that he could read her scent and as the seconds went by, it remained unidentifiable for him. The scent wafting towards him was pungent, overpowering and had an edge to it that he didn't like, and if he didn't remind himself that this was Raven's scent that he was detecting, he would've probably snarled at the scent. It was so unfamiliar that for some odd reason, he couldn't help but think that it couldn't have belonged to her but of course it had to be hers…it _came _from her.

"Friend…Raven…?"

He pulled his eyes away from the TV screen and turned to look at Raven and found her expression extremely difficult to decipher; her dark brows contorted together so tightly that there was not an area on her forehead that was smooth, her lips pursed so firmly that they seemed to have disappeared, her pale complexion was beyond pale—it was _deathly _pale!—and the way her dark indigo eyes concentrated so hard on a small spot on the wall that it would've hurt to look at her directly and yet there was something…_blank_…about the look in her eyes…and that worried him.

What was wrong with her?

He stood up from his seat and knelt down in front of her, "Rae…baby doll…are you OK?" He took her hands and found the bound tightly in a fist, "Rae…Rae…what's wrong?" He tried to unclench her fists but the only response he got was two clammy fists still gripping themselves tightly, her knuckles white.

He and Kori exchanged a worried look, both still having no idea what the hell was wrong with her. Kori tried to coax Raven out of this state by speaking gently to her but Raven did not budge from her state.

"Rae…? Rae, c'mon baby doll…c'mon speak to me…" He whispered the last words out, growling in frustration.

Suddenly her expression stopped being so stagnant but it was still hard—_really _hard—though he was just relieved to find that she was actually moving. However, she didn't turn to look at him when she finally regained consciousness, but she looked at Kori straight away.

"Kori…where's Dick?" Her words were sharp.

Her bitter scent was now spiced with determination and it was also accompanied by what seemed to be—were his conclusions right?—sadness. Why was she sad? Or—he guessed—why was Dick sad? _Was _Dick sad?

"I…I do not know exactly, friend Raven but when I left him he was on the phone with his dear old butler Alfred and I did not want to disturb his privacy." Kori seemed to chew her lips in uncertainty, her green eyes exchanging helpless glances at Garfield.

Raven stood up from the couch staunchly, her shoulders stiff with determination as she stormed out of the Common Room on foot, probably too distracted by the bout of emotions that she received from Dick to remember that she was capable of phasing to wherever she wanted to go.

Him and his _stupid _bond with her!

Dick had probably sent his emotions to her unintentionally—if Dick had sent those emotions intentionally, he was gonna be _very _pissed off!—and whatever it was that the bond exchanged, Raven was clearly concerned about it…whatever it was…and he couldn't help but feel a little helpless whenever these things came about; she had always made it very clear that the bond that she had with Dick wasn't any of his business and though sometimes he was curious about it sometimes, he knew where the boundaries lay.

Garfield wanted to chase after Raven but his feet felt like they stuck to the ground and no matter how much will power her put into it, he felt like he was incapable of actually standing up and walking after her. Slowly, he turned his head towards the door and just gazed _helplessly _at the door, hoping that whatever it was that was happening, it would be sorted out soon.

* * *

She closed her eyes as her feet took her towards Dick's room.

"_Joker…wings…clipped…"_

Her eyes flickered open again suddenly as the surge of emotions came rushing towards her; anger came in huge black tides, enveloping most of the other emotions but that didn't mean that the other emotions were miniscule compared to the anger, no, it just meant that they were so mixed up with the anger that it was hard to differentiate which emotion was which but…there was deep, slow sadness at his realisation, shock and disbelief at the turn of events, utter fear for _her_ and hatred for the one responsible—raw, dark hatred—but it was definitely the anger that affected Raven…and what scared her most wasn't the fact that it was just anger, it was cold, unfeeling anger…so cold that it made ice feel warm.

She shuddered.

Raven wasn't conscious of the way her feet stomped on the solid floor, wasn't conscious of the dull echoes that sounded like the voices in her mind, all she could think about was Dick…Dick and…_this_.

"_Gordon…oh God…wings…"_

The voice in her head—his voice—grew a little louder every time she got a little closer to his room; a little louder, a little more estranged, a little angrier, a little more heartbroken…but it was still his voice even though it had been so disfigured by the bursts of emotions that came out of him uncontrollably. She had to admit, she was a little scared of facing him physically; he had blocked her voice out of his mind but he had not bothered blocking his own and if he was so unwilling for her to reach out to him through the connection of the bond, would he even try to do it physically?

Probably not.

But she had to try…she owed him, as much as he owed her and though both parties were unwilling to admit it, they both knew that the debts would never be fully paid; not with what they had both witnessed and experienced due to being in each other's lives. The others may not have understood this little fact but they both knew it, and they both knew it too well to want to acknowledge it. This time, maybe some of that debt would be repaid, or maybe the debt would grow even larger…but she had to try…she owed him this.

"…_wasn't there for her…cannot fly…"_

She tried to reach out to him once more through the bond, _"Dick…Are you there? Can you hear me?"_

"_Gun…shot…red hair…fly…" _He didn't seem to hear her and continued to ramble on almost nonsensically.

The hairs on her arms stood as once again she was consumed by _his _emotions, they were so strong that it was hard to differentiate between his emotions and her own but the emotions were so raw that they felt like _she _was feeling these emotions, that _she _was the one ridden with guilt, anger, shame and sadness, that these emotions were rooted deep inside of her.

She was _not_ her emotions—or his, for that matter—she was _Raven_.

Those words reminded her of Garfield and for a fleeting moment, she smiled.

Then it came back again.

"…_where was Batman when this…?"_

She figured that she could always force the emotion of happiness—or at least contentment or peace—into him, after all, she was capable of doing that…but in the end it always left her feeling immoral, like the act was too inhumane to even think about; it wasn't right to take out emotions—though she had done this many a times—and so it was only logical that forcing emotions into someone wouldn't be right either no matter how good her intentions were.

"_Rooftop run…paralysed…hospital…"_

Her shoulder stiffened uncomfortably as the words formed almost-sentences and instead of just words being transmitted to her mind, she saw flashes and flashes of images; a dark shadow pointing a gun at a female with flaming red hair, the woman cluttered on the floor like a rag doll with ribbons of blood coming out of her, maniacal laughter coming from the dark figure though it was sinister laughter—sinister and insane—and strangely the last image seemed to be thought of in a sad sentimental way; two figures flying across rooftops, ignoring the height and for a mere second they both looked like they were flying…_really _flying and not just doing acrobatic acts like she knew they were really doing.

It was heartbreakingly beautiful…and at that single moment, because of that single image, she realised what had happened and who it had happened to.

"_Oh, Dick."_

He still ignored her accidental outbreak but that was about to change. As she reached his door, she knew that he would have had it locked and he wouldn't open the door if it killed him to, and right now something was definitely killing him and it _hurt_.

The door was made from steel and as her fingers traced its texture, she found it quite fitting that such a material would be made into _his_ door, the door that belonged to Nightwing, formerly known as Robin the Boy Wonder but forever belonging to Dick Grayson, or merely known as Dick. It was strange how such an inanimate object could describe a person in such precision; cold, hard, protected and yet it had its moments when it opened up to everyone and let them peer inside and those moments were what made him the team leader…not because he was the world's second greatest detective nor was it his acrobatic and martial art skills…no, it was that compassion that appeared sometimes, that compassion and everything else that came with it.

Raven closed her eyes for a moment, her hands pressing at the door, and she phased through, shuddering slightly as she felt the odd combination of the steel door and her powers before she finally entered his room.

"_Babs…Babs…I should've…Oh, Barbara…why didn't you wait for me?"_

The words struck her like she had been physically pushed and she stopped herself from staggering backwards at the sheer force of it. They were so _desperate_ and so _tragic_ that for a few moments, she couldn't look him in the face; for fear that the words would be etched into his features.

Dick didn't seem to notice that she had entered the room, or if he had, he was ignoring her as much as he possibly could with her so physically near him. She walked timidly towards him, afraid of what would happen if she broke his concentration.

"_Never fly…never fly again…Babs…why didn't you…?"_

Finally, she found herself standing face to face with him, and found that there were red marks on the fragile skin around his eyes and they seemed new…like he had ripped off his mask in the pent up frustration and anger that was brought about and it wasn't just that it was red…the skin around his eyes was pulsing strangely and his face so contorted that if she wasn't in his room, she probably wouldn't have recognised this person as Dick Grayson. That expression didn't belong to Nightwing, nor did it belong to Dick Grayson and yet—at a glance—it reminded her of another caped crusader, of the one who had taught him the many things he knew today, the skills needed to fill in the holes that metahumans did not need to fill in…it reminded her of the man that Dick Grayson had tried to break free from so many times and yet—she saw with some pity—it seemed to Raven that his past always caught up with him, no matter how hard he tried.

Finally, her throat released the grip on her words, "You're going to Gotham."

He frowned, not really seeing her, and nodded stoically.

"When?"

There was no hesitation in his words, "Tonight." When she gave him a raised brow, his mouth tightened, "Alfred has it all arranged."

She looked around the room for a moment as the uncomfortable silence crawled in slightly; his room was a mess to say the least…but it was an organised mess. Newspaper articles and bits of information were pinned on the dingy grey walls and pieces of thread connected each and every article to each other in some way or another. The computer's screen at the end of the room flickered slightly and next to it was his phone with the receiver hanging loosely over the table, neglected and a bit battered.

"_I'm going to _kill_ him_."

The voice that she had just heard briefly was calm and collected with none of the heat that anger should generate.

"That's not your way."

He seemed surprised that she had heard him in her mind and momentarily the emotion of astonishment washed over his other emotions like a warm jolt of yellow but after a while, the other emotions took over again like the vines of a poison ivy plant.

"I'll be gone for a week."

"_The fact that it is not Batman's way does not mean that it is not _my _way."_

She shook her head, "You will be gone longer than that." Her words had a matter-of-fact air to them.

"_No…it is not _your_ way. Remember who you are…who that mask is…Nightwing does not kill." _She forced these words into his mind, _"Nightwing does not know who Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon are."_

"Yes, I will be gone longer than that." He nodded, agreeing.

"_But Nightwing knows Batgirl and Batgirl can…she can no longer fly."_

She felt herself pulled into an emotional tug-of-war and for once, she did not feel like she was winning; she, the queen of emotion and control, was not winning the war in which involved these two elements…she was…she was losing.

"_Did the Joker shoot Batgirl or did he shoot Barbara Gordon?" _Her words were scathing and she meant for them to hurt so that he would realise what the consequence of his actions would be, _"Who did he shoot…Dick Grayson? Who did he shoot, Nightwing?"_

"Tell Vic that he's in charge for the time that I'm…gone."

"_They are the _same_! The _SAME_!" _He screamed at her in his mind…in her mind.

Raven touched her chakra momentarily before locking her gaze with his crystal blue ones, "He will be informed." He seemed to be challenging her to look away and because of this very reason, she did not, "What will you be doing down in Gotham?"

"_I wasn't there…I _should've _been there to stop _him_!"_

"Keeping up with appearances…helping out with Batman."

"_The Bat clan is _dying_…first Jay then Babs…not Babs…not Babs…"_ His mind shook with denial, repeating her name over and over again until eventually they were etched in her brain.

"Dick Grayson has not appeared in Gotham for over a year, I think the tabloids would be suspicious if I stayed away for longer than that."

She nodded, agreeing with his superficial words, "Yes, they would be suspicious."

"I won't be gone for too long." She did not believe him, "I know that I have my duties here."

"_Barbara will _not_ die." _She insisted, _"She will live despite the consequences."_

Sadness entered his words, _"Yes…but she will never fly again…she will never know the freedom that Batgirl and Robin knew."_

"_No, she will never experience the flight of Batgirl and Robin ever again." _She did not mean to be cruel this time, she merely tried to ease his guilt, _"But she will live…isn't living enough?"_

"Will you say goodbye to the others? To Kori?" She asked.

"Yes."

Raven scrutinised his face, "But you will not tell them your true reasons of your absence." It was not a question.

"No."

His words were flat in tone as he tried to regain his self control once more but she could see clearly through the shield of the steel doors. This was Dick Grayson but carved from cold, hard stone instead of flesh and blood…it was in his nature to be cool and collected and in control but it was not in his nature to deny his friends…his family. He had tried so hard to get away from the Bat Clan, to claim some type of independence over the shadow of his mentor, one of the most well-known caped crusaders that existed in the world that co-existed with meta-humans; the Dark Knight. But here he was now, rushing back to Gotham, to his childhood home, to Babs…to his first love and her broken body…to appease the guilt that he had always had welling up in him whenever he remembered that he had left his original team.

She knew it hurt for him to remember.

"Tell them that I'm away on a familial matter." He did not lie, she realised; Babs had been part of his family…once, "Or on a mission with the JLA…or something…just don't tell them about…"

"It will hurt Kori if she finds out that you have been lying to her."

Kori…he had probably forgotten about her throughout this whole ordeal and by the look on his face, he felt guilty about it. There, the guilt, it appeared on his face so many times that she did not know if this person…this _man_ had ever been a child…she had felt guilty about _things_ before, but she had always managed to pull through in one way or another and it was usually with his help. She did not know what it would have been like without Dick being there for her—and she did not want to know—and for that she was indebt towards him.

"I know."

She threw him a pitying look and he grunted; he _hated _pity, "She loves you, you know?"

It took him a while to answer her, "I know." He did not look at her when he spoke those words.

Two girls, she thought wryly to herself, two girls…both with flaming red hair, both taller than him, both superheroes and both loved by Dick Grayson and Nightwing, though in completely different ways. The love he had for Koriand'r was passionate, fulfilling, illogical, and protective…it was a lover's love, something undeniable and dangerously overwhelming. However the love he held for Barbara Gordon was friendly, kind-hearted, and sometimes frosty, sometimes warm…all in all it was a brother's love…or at least that's what Raven thought it was...she was his first love though, she noted.

"And you love her?"

She could feel the heat of anger at the confrontation that she presented to him; angry that she was slowing him down, angry that she was even here in his room and angry that she was even questioning his feelings towards the golden-skinned princess.

"Yes." The words pierced through her, sending a disgusted look towards her.

Raven closed her eyes, "You should try to remember that."

He did not reply her and she did not know if she was relieved or offended.

Raven opened her eyes once more and clenched her fists by her side firmly as she took a good look at the strained expression etched on his face. She knew it was a hard time for him, she knew, and she wasn't trying to make it harder for him but…but the emotions conflicting with each other disturbed her, confused her. He was one of those characters that you wanted to understand…and yet at the same time…refused to; he grew attached to the people surrounding him and didn't handle injuries or death very well, he did not like losing people…he _could not_ lose anyone and for this reason, she understood him…not completely, but enough to let him venture on his own.

"You will take care of yourself?"

She watched as his face softened a little, "I will try."

"I'll see you in a little while then, I guess."

"I'll come back as soon as possible."

"I know."

He paused for a while, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She smiled…or attempted to, "Goodbye it is then."

"Goodbye it is."

Carefully, she slipped out of his room, careful not to let her guard down just in case he noticed how her palms started to sweat and her heart began to _thud_ cryptically. That was not Dick Grayson and she did not want to know who that person was…she just hoped that he would come back…sooner rather than later.

"_No…it is not enough." _The whispers were barely discernable to her but nonetheless, she heard them, _"…living without flying is not enough…"_

**A/N: Wehey...this chappie is finitoed..so anyways here's a brief explanation for those who had NO idea what happened in the second part of the chappie...**

**- Well basically in short...the Joker shot Barbara Gordon because he wanted to make Comissioner Gordon go insane (though this plan totally got foiled by Batman) and he didnt know that Babs was Batgirl and I don't even want to imagine what would've happened if he knew. **

**:shudders:**

**- So basically, she got paralysed because she got shot in the spine and she can never walk again...ever. This is why NW kept sayin "She cannot fly"...because it meant that she could never do the rooftop run ever again (remember that I mentioned it in chappie 1)?**

**-Also, the "Jay" reference was of Jason Todd...the SECOND Robin...though no one really liked him so the writers killed him off...well, actually, I'm not sure why they killed him off...**

**And TADA! That is all for now! I am going to Bali tomorrow and so will not be updating anytime soon...well...I'm actually only going for 5 days but seriously...5 days is quite a lot to miss out on the whole creative juices thing.**

**Reviews, please?**

**Also...keep the songs coming! I'm currently loving the songs that you guys have suggested!**

**:squeeeee:**


	4. Miscellaneous thoughts in Minimal time

**A/N: Agh!! This chappie was so frustrating to write...it was like when I came back from Bali, all my ideas dried up...like Sahara desert dry...like...dry!**

**:growls:**

**It was supposed to have more stuff in it but I couldn't really put it in without it feeling even more...um...awkward...than this chappie already feels. I mean, the concept of it all was good and all but the actual result...I don't really like it.**

**Also...I just realised that there's too much dialogue...I mean I have nothing against dialogue...but when I write I prefer a little description...but I guess you guys could just say that it's a break from all the mind-churning detail I give you...**

**So, all in all, I got a major pain-in-the-arse writer's block...I know, I know...it happens to every body...but still! It sucks! But my teacher told me that whenever you got writer's block, you were to keep going coz it'll get your creative juices going and whatnot.**

**And well, it kinda worked...but not for this chappie...I just got a brilliant idea (well I hope it'll stay brilliant) for next chappie and for a one-shot (if I have the time)...so hopefully I can redeem myself through that chappie.**

**So...I guess...read...enjoy...and review!**

**Chapter 4**

It was quiet in the Tower without their leader, which was actually quite strange since Dick never really did talk that much compared to—except for Raven herself—the rest of the Titans. It was too quite…too unsettling…too heavy. His absence had affected all of them in different ways, whether it be in a huge way or not, but it affected Kori the most and despite his reassuring calls stating that he would be back soon, Kori was still sad; her feet were firmly on the ground, her eyes shone less and her hugs either felt too loose or too tight...it was almost heartbreaking to look at her but Kori still attempted to put on a happy face every day because Raven knew that her best friend knew that even with his absence, she still had a role to play and maybe because of his absence, she had to play it even more now.

Raven had lied—just as Dick had requested—and after he had left quite abruptly—with only quick goodbyes to the other Titans—she had told them that Batman was facing a dangerous villain who had a lot of connections and he needed all the help that he could get, and that included their Nightwing; it wasn't a lie, really, just a half-truth…and yet she felt worse than when she truly did lie…but she had no choice, not really, she owed this to him and it was also not her truth to tell…Babs was not part of her life and had never been but she had been a huge part of Dick's former life and now that she had fallen…

Raven shook her head.

She had a sneaking suspicion that Kori knew that she was lying…that _he _was lying…and it made her uneasy just knowing that her best friend suspected something of her. It wasn't just that she had lied to her but it was that the lie had something to do with Dick's absence—the guy who she suspected Kori planned to get married to—and Raven knew that it just reminded her that no matter how close she and Dick got, Raven was the only one who knew how his mind _really _worked, how he was capable of _controlling _those emotions of his and, most importantly, _she _was the one who he ran to when he needed to confide in someone…when he felt that the contents of his chest were too heavy…when he felt too dark for the others to comprehend…and sometimes Raven felt guilty because she had no romantic intentions for him whatsoever and Kori—who was completely head over heels for him and would probably do anything for him if he asked it of her—did not have that kind of bond with him and had to actually work at understanding him sometimes. It was not that Kori did not have a bond with Dick, but it was just a different sort of relationship; he didn't tell her everything...not because he didn't trust Kori—no! She knew that Dick trusted Kori with his life!—but because he wanted to protect her—with whatever power he had—from all the bad and the hurt and the pain that came with living on Earth and to do that, he felt that some things were better left unsaid to the foreign princess.

Sigh.

That was actually why, for the past couple of days, she had been spending quite a bit of time with the Tamaranian; she felt a little guilty about it all and she felt like she had to make it up to her somehow in whatever way possible…and right now the only conceivable way she could think up was spending more time with her. Yes, the constant trips to the malls and the girly magazine reading was a bit infuriating and she did feel like stopping her actions entirely…but then the guilt welled up again, a constant reminder of what was said and unsaid. It was actually why she had obliged to a makeover done by Kori and—dear _Azar_—she was quite scared of the outcome.

"Raven, will you please stop doing the squirming? It is making the task of applying liquid liner quite difficult." Kori requested as Raven felt the tip of the liquid liner pen jab at her eyelid.

"Sorry." She mumbled in reply and _tried _to keep still as she felt the cold liquid trace her eyelid, "Just not used to it, I guess."

She felt Kori smile, "Oh, but by x'hal, all this discomfort will be worth it…you will look as beautiful as the two moons of Tamaran."

"That's…great." Raven pressed her lips together in thought, "Isn't it better to have inner beauty than to be beautiful on the outside though?"

"Well…" Kori paused for a while, "There is nothing more glorious than being beautiful on the inside and yet sometimes we females do not feel that unless we are also beautiful outside. It is a fault in us, I am certain, and yet sometimes just being beautiful on the outside does give us the…_boost_…as you humans say…to our self esteems and it just helps with the developing inner beauty. You can open your eyes now." Her friend said as an afterthought, "Plus, it is quite fun just being able to transform yourself in a matter of a few strokes." She emphasised her words by holding up a blusher brush before pressing it onto her cheeks.

Raven watched in horror as she saw her face in the mirror being attacked by the bright fluorescent pink powder on her cheeks and whatever other area that the brush came in close contact with. She took deep, heavy breaths to calm herself down and to remind herself why she was being made over by Kori of all people.

After a few minutes of silence, Kori spoke, "I accepted the job of the modelling yesterday."

_That _caught her attention, "You're going to New York? _Now_?"

"No, I will not be venturing to New York just yet, friend Raven." She shook her head and her mass of auburn hair flew from side to side, "I will be working at the…_branch_…here in Jump City despite their advice for me to move straight to New York…they think that I will be hitting the big time if I went there but…" there was a small smile on her plump lips, "I would like to be spending and cherishing the glorious time we have before we will be doing the going of the separate ways."

That shut Raven up and reminded her once again that they only had about another year and a half before the original Teen Titans would be disbanded and would be formed by entirely new members and the original team…they would go through life anonymously, just like any other citizen of America would do. Life would be simple and despite how appealing that sounded, Raven dreaded the time that they would eventually split up. They would all, of course, still keep in contact with each other and still be friends with each other but it wouldn't be the same…

"I have taken a new name for the modelling job…an…alias?" Kori seemed unsure of her choice of words.

"You have?"

Kori nodded gleefully, like a child who was caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, "Yes, and though it is not so dissimilar from my original name, it is enough to make my name seem more…human. Would you like to know what it is?"

Raven nodded subconsciously.

"Kory Anders."

Raven thought she misheard, "Koriand'r? Isn't that your real name?"

"No, no…Kory _Anders_." She giggled, "You see, I separated my name in the middle and I replaced the 'i' with a 'y' and I added a 's' in the back of my name…and I took out the…is it called an apostrophe?"

"Yes, it's an apostrophe…well…that is actually quite clever. I like it…it's not too far away from your own name so it's easy for you to remember but it's different enough so that people wouldn't recognise it." Raven smiled, "Nice."

"I thought so." Kori smirked playfully.

"So…what's your first job then? Have they signed you up for anything? I wonder what Dick's going to say about…" She let her words trail off as she realised she had brought up Dick in their conversation.

Kori looked downcast for a moment as she placed the blusher brush back on her vanity table, "Tomorrow I shall be in a shoot for a local magazine…you do know of _JumpGirl_ do you not?" Raven nodded in reply vaguely, "I will be showcasing an arrangement of winter clothes. We will be shooting in a _studio_ with false snow." She smiled at that, "And as for boyfriend Dick…he did not approve wholly about the modelling job as he thought that I would be flaunting myself meaninglessly when I told him over the phone but…I have decided that I shall have to not rely on him so much despite being a foreigner to this planet." Her voice was slow and sad, completely different from the usual perky, high-pitched voice that came out of Kori's mouth, "He does not approve but I do not know what else I could do to earn money for when we go our separate ways…if this is what I have to do to do the earning of a living, I shall do it and it is better to start early than late, no?"

"True…you would make a great model, Kor, and Dick shouldn't stop you from doing this job if you think you'll like it." Raven paused for a while as Kori filled in her eyebrows, "Plus he's in Gotham and he can't really boss you around if he's in Gotham, can he?" She smirked.

"No…" Kori giggled, "He cannot."

Her lively spirit coming back made her smile, "False snow, huh? It's strange that it hasn't started snowing here…it has gotten cold though." She shrugged nonchalantly, "But maybe all the global warming warnings are coming true after all, maybe we won't see any snow this year."

"Yes, but we got to experience it in Russia, did we not? It was quite beautiful…all that white…" she continued to fill her brows in, "Dick does not like snow, though, he says that it is beautiful but cold…too cold…yes, those were his words…he believes that with beauty must come warmth and the vice and versa. It must have been hard for him to do the growing up in Gotham…I believe it is cold and dark there most of the time?"

"I don't know…" and she really didn't, before she had settled in Jump City, she had admittedly found herself travelling around this particular dimension, to places that she knew she would never have gone if she did not come from Azarath, but she had never gone to Gotham, she still didn't know why, "I guess it would be since Batman comes from there and all…I mean his nickname gives it away ever so slight…The Dark Knight, they call him…" She smiled wryly at the thought.

Kori had moved on from her eyebrows to her eyelashes now and she was cooing about how long and luscious and dark they were and how they framed her dark violet eyes perfectly and how Garfield must _love _looking into her eyes and she went on to talk about how once she and Dick had spent hours just looking into each other's eyes…it was a staring contest between the innocent alien and the Dark Knight's protégée but Kori said that it was one of the most romantic things that they had done together and that if she were to do it again, she would and maybe for even longer than they had done it before.

"I miss him." She stated suddenly.

Raven's eyes flickered open, her brows contorted together in a frown, "I know you do…but he'll be back."

"Yes, he has told me that exact statement but it has been…it has been a week and he has not come back." Kori pouted, "Has he told _you_ anything…through the bond…through the phone…anything?"

Raven cringed at her tone of voice, at the desperation and the emphasis of 'you', "No…he's completely blocked me off and he doesn't talk to me on the phone."

That was a full-fledged lie actually…not the talking on the phone part…but the fact that he had blocked her. He was too distracted to even think about blocking her but the distance helped in dissipated some parts of the bond so all that she got was flashes of images, random colours, sometimes she his grief-filled whispers but nothing that made any sense, not the whole picture. There was one thing that all these things had in common though; they were all about Barbara.

"He has been…vague…in what he has been doing in Gotham…and I cannot help but be feeling that he is not _telling me_ something."

There was something unsaid in that sentence that sent a shiver down Raven's spine.

"Oh, I love him with all my heart and my soul but sometimes I do wish that he would do the letting me in…it is hard to see the man you love sometimes delve into the darkness without even trying." Her voice was small and sad, unfamiliar to Raven's ears, "I am aware that he does not think that I am capable of handling the darkness of life but, truly, I fear for him and his capability of handling it…I do not see how being able to handle darkness and not being able to handle it differ to each other…they both have their positive aspects and their negative aspects in equal ways."

Raven shrugged slowly, "He didn't have the best childhood, Kor, and he wants to protect you from that."

"And he believes that by lying to me and leaving me without any warning whatsoever, that he is _protecting _me?" Her fingers clenched around the mascara tube so tightly that her golden knuckles turned white, "He thinks of me as a child." She stated resentfully, "He does not know much of my past and yet he still insists of wrapping me up in the blankets."

"He loves you…you are everything to him…you are practically family…" Raven sighed and placed her arms to her side, touching the soft cushion of the chair she was sitting on, "and with family…he's a bit complicated…he has lost _a lot _of family and he doesn't want to lose anymore…he _cannot _lose anymore. _That _is why he wants to keep you in the light…in the sun…somewhere happy."

"It is not right."

Raven shook her head, "No, it isn't right, but that's just the way he deals with things…to turn his face away from some of the uncomfortable facts but it makes him who he is and, admittedly, his flaws and…_darkness_… is what makes him such a good superhero…it's because he has an urge to help others, to prevent them from experiencing what he had." She then went on to add, "He loves you, and though I'm probably not the best and most comforting person that this is coming from but I'm pretty sure that you love him too and that that's all that matters."

Raven watched as Kori closed her eyes for a moment before she sat down on the edge of her mattress. Her hair cascaded like a red waterfall over her back and her skin was glowing like she had her own personal sun interwoven between her bronze skin and yet despite all the beauty, she still looked sad and a little bit lost. This was _not _the Koriand'r she knew, just like she knew that the Dick Grayson that last spoke to her was _not _Dick Grayson…it was a domino effect…a slow domino effect…but a domino effect, nevertheless and it worried her. The Titans' lives were so interlocked with each other that even one small event like this could have such an impacting effect on the others. It was as if they were all trying to pull apart from each other before they were officially supposed to, like they were trying to loosen their grip to each other so that when it came to it, it wasn't as painful as it was supposed to be…it would just be another fact of life or something similar to it when it wasn't supposed to be another fact of life, it was supposed to be something that marked each Titan individually for a _very _long time.

"I see your point, friend Raven, and yet it does not change the fact that it hurts to be lied to…and to be lied to by him…it is just that I see you and Garfield and see how open he is to you and I realise that despite my love for him, sometimes I do not understand who boyfriend Dick is…sometimes he is more Nightwing than Dick and sometimes he is not even that…I am confused."

Garfield…

Raven closed her eyes momentarily as Kori mentioned him; he had been quiet for the past week…ever since her abrupt departure from the Common Room to confront Dick. He was hurt, she understood that, he was like wounded wolf trying to get back to his pack and yet finding that his pack had denied him and it wasn't that she was doing it on purpose…he knew about her bond with Dick and how important it was and how it affected her…and yet whenever she reached out to him—both with her empathic powers and physically—he had moved away from her ever so slightly and in turn it made her feel ever so slightly uneasy. Garfield was always the one who needed the physical attention—the hugs, the kisses, the holding hands—and she was more of the passive type when it came to relationships and yet now _he _was the one not doing anything, not initiating contact or laughter and she didn't know what to do about it.

Kori seemed to sense that something else came up in Raven's mind when she had mentioned Garfield, "You are also confused?"

"Not confused exactly…well…actually…slightly." She nodded slowly.

"But why? Your relationship with friend Garfield is so open."

Raven screwed up her nose in distaste, "He doesn't like the bond." The sour expression on Kori's face caused Raven to put her hand up in protest, "He doesn't have anything against Dick, Kor, nothing like that…he just doesn't like the way it affects me." She felt the edge of her lips twitch, "He hasn't told me any of this…but people tend to forget that that I'm an empath…"

"He cares for you very much, friend Raven and yet I do not understand his concern towards this bond that you and Dick share…it is a glorious thing to share, is it not?"

"It's…complicated."

Kori's face was etched with interest, "Please, friend Raven, I wish to know more of this…bond…" she pleaded, "I have asked him countless of times before and yet he refuses to explain it to me…"

Raven sighed, "Fine."

"Marvellous." She grinned and clapped her hands gleefully.

"Basically, when I…um…bonded with Dick…I placed a bit of me in him…like my soul-self so that I would be able to see through his eyes and explore his mind…" she interlocked her fingers together, "the thing is with this whole soul-self business…it's hard to take my whole soul-self back out from the other person and so there was, there is, a fragment of me still in Dick and this is why I don't really like to use my soul-self thing because sometimes people don't like it when they are unwillingly connected with someone else…I know that Dick didn't like it, he blocked me for Azar knows how long."

Kori nodded in understanding, "Yes, I remember, he was having a lot of struggles when that happened…he did not speak to you for a long time, friend Raven."

"Yes, I remember that too." She bit her lip, "Well basically…I can communicate with him telepathically…I mean I can communicate telepathically with you too…and the others…but it's easier with him because I'm already connected with him. He can also transmit images to me whether consciously or subconsciously and if I wanted to I am capable of delving into his memories…but I won't go into that…and I can also personally experience his emotions…I mean I can feel all your emotions too but it won't affect me as much as Dick's emotions do." Raven sighed heavily, "Which is why Garfield doesn't like it." She stated finally.

"Because of the emotions?"

Raven nodded grimly, "He thinks that it isn't right for my own feelings to be interrupted by somebody else's…he thinks that Dick has no right being in my mind…and he basically thinks that it isn't too healthy for me…"

"As I said previously, he cares much for you, friend Raven…at least he demonstrates his devotion to you…sometimes Dick can be a bit…cold." Kori shuddered physically.

"Well, despite the fact that they're pasts are similar, they've turned out to be two completely different people." Raven paused for a moment to think about what she had just said, "Dick tries, you know."

Kori laughed nervously, "Oh, I know of his efforts but sometimes they are not so apparent, friend Raven…and when compared to friend Garfield's actions…well…Dick's actions seem to cease to exist." Her lips thrust out into a pout, "For example, around a week ago friend Garfield carried you to his room when you fell asleep despite the fact that friend Garfield does not really have any strength in his muscles."

Raven smiled inwardly at the memory—or lack of memory since she was sleeping—of that moment and she had to admit that despite her aversion for anything soppy, she thought his actions were quite sweet, to say the least. Her inward smile gradually turned into a frown, though, as she remembered the day after; the confusion, the hormones, the hesitation and the unresolved '_I love you_'…things were a bit more complicated than how she wanted to be. Complicated and disorganised…she was no Dick Grayson but she still didn't like mess, she liked to keep everything clear cut and simple and right now…nothing was really that straightforward.

Suddenly something clicked in her mind, "How did you know that Gar carried me to his room? It must've been at least two in the morning."

"Oh." Kori had the grace to blush, and blush prettily, Raven thought resentfully, "Friend Vic showed us the tapes from the security camera…it was quite amusing to watch friend Garfield push many buttons on your lock before trying to '_bust through'_ the door by kicking it. He did the up and down hopping for a while afterwards." She giggled.

Raven grimaced at the thought of the lack of privacy; that was one of the things that she was at a disadvantage at while living in the Tower…the only places that she could actually truly be alone were in her room or in the bathroom and though she didn't really mind staying in her room for long periods of time, she did, however, feel that it would be quite inappropriate to stay in the bathroom for more than what was needed.

Vic was another matter, someone she neglected to think about too much because she knew that he was one of the only ones in the Tower that knew how to take care of himself. It was quite unfair on him, if she had enough time on her hand to think about the others, why not think about Victor Stone too? Maybe it was just because she didn't really have that strong a bond with him; sure he was the kind brother-figure that she never had but sometimes it was limited to just that…but then again, before she started dating Gar, wasn't he _just _the annoying pest-thing that just _knew _how to get under your skin, and in the worst of ways?

She shook her head absently.

To Raven, Vic was…complicated…a man of steel—quite literally, actually—with capabilities that were beyond the human norm and yet, Vic might be the most human out of all of them; he took care of others before he took care of himself, he knew the limits to his 'powers' and despite the fact that he aged slower than the others due to his mechanics…he _wanted _to age, quite unlike the majority of people in the current world, all obsessed with youth and preserving it. And despite the fact that he was quite the 'womaniser'—as Gar kindly put it—he didn't really have any long term relationships that Raven could remember about; she didn't want to jump to conclusions but she couldn't help but feel that it had something to do with him not being fully human and not because he was born into it, but because he _had _to be. She was glad that he was with Jinx, someone steady would be good for him, someone steady that saw beyond the screws and lasers and she thought that Jinx might just do the trick since she should know quite a bit about not judging someone by their appearance.

Suddenly there was a couple of knocks on the door, steadily rhythmic and…_happy _sounding. The knocks were heavy though and sounded slightly hollow and-- Kori went up to answer the door—speak of the devil, it was the very person she was just thinking about; Victor Stone.

"Hey girls, whatcha up to?" His great, booming voice was a comfort to hear and the wide grin on his face emanated with happiness.

"We are doing the makeovers…well…_I _was doing the makeover on friend Raven here and…does she not look—as they say—fabulous?" Kori cooed and pointed at Raven.

Vic shot a confused look at Kori before letting his gaze settle on Raven and she sent him a challenging glare. He bit his lip but his eyes seemed to water and his cheeks reddened before his lips burst apart and a deafening guffaw was heard from them. The challenging glare that Raven gave him didn't seem as effective when her cheeks turned even redder than they did with the blusher on.

Kori seemed confused, "Friend Vic…what is it that you find amusing?"

He flashed Raven a grin and tried to slow his laughter, "Nothin'…it's just that…it's just…" another gusto of laughter spurted out and he started slapping his thighs for more emphasis, "It's nothin' Kor, she looks…as you say…fabulous."

"My ass it's nothing." Raven rolled her eyes, clearly not finding it funny at all, seeing that she was the subject of laughter, "So what are you here for anyway…it's not like you to go knocking on doors when you know that we're having a bit of a…_girly_," she muttered the word dryly, "thing."

A waterfall of nervousness suddenly flowed over Vic even though there was a smile firmly in place; her empathic powers were going crazy at the overflow of emotion and they picked each and every droplet up carefully and intertwined them with the atmosphere in the room. He didn't really have any apparent reason to be nervous since there was no tension in the room…so why was he?

"Well, I know Dick put me in charge an' all…" Raven watched carefully as he gulped, "but I got plans tomorrow night and they're pretty…unavoidable…so I was wonderin' if it'd be alrigh' if I went." He looked at Raven firmly in the eye, "Tomorrow's a Wednesday anyway and they're pretty tame…so it should be alrigh'…right?"

"What's the occasion?" Raven asked slowly.

He rubbed his arms up and down, his red eye glancing nervously at the girls, "Y'know…_stuff_."

"I was under the impression that the term 'stuff' could mean a variety of activities?" Kori asked to no one in particular, "It is also a terran way to articulate vaguely as to not raise any suspicion."

"Man, that is _so_ not true…who taught you that?" Vic stated hastily.

"Boyfriend Dick…when he realised that my open and trusting approach to people was not the…terran _'way to go'._"

This was answered by Vic only with incessant coughing and a series of nervous chuckles.

"Never mind that." Raven stated shortly after it was Kori's turn to glance from Vic to Raven in a look of utter befuddlement, "Doesn't Dick have a strict policy of some sort about the leader taking leave?"

Vic scowled, "Yea, but the dude completely ignored it himself…so why'd I have to follow that policy, man?"

Raven stood up from her chair and faced the 6'6" giant with her arms crossed in front of her, her expression a stern visage while trying to completely ignore what her face must actually currently look like.

"Medical or personal reason?" She asked shortly, craning her neck just to be able to see his face.

"Med—Dangit Raven!—Personal." He sighed, "Man, you should know what it's about."

She raised a brow as she realised why he was taking leave and sighed, "By _Azar_, men and their _hormones_." She rolled her eyes, "You saw her just last week. On karaoke night, might I add."

"_Her_?" Kori cooed and Raven suddenly found her by her side, "There is a 'her'? Oh, how glorious! Who is this 'her', might I ask?"

"Like there are any _other _'hers' that Vic thinks about…" Raven muttered under her breath.

Kori's lips formed an 'o', "What was it that you said, friend Raven?"

"Nothing." She replied hastily, "So, can't you just change it to some other time? At least until Dick comes back?"

"Man, God knows when Dick's comin' back…he's always like 'Oh, soon enough' whenever I ask him that same frickin' question whenever he bothers to call." He grunted, "And it's not my fault that I actually got someone _out _of the Tower…I mean you an' BB can see each other whenever and shit."

"Fine. I mean it's not my permission to give anyway but as long as you answer the communicator _immediately_, it should be OK for you to go to your…thing." Raven cocked her head at Kori, "What do you think, Kori? I mean, he needs our permission and all since Dick set up those policies."

"Why not?" Kori asked gleefully, "If it is in the pursuit of love and happiness, how could I refuse to give my consent?" Her voice twinkled and she went off to hug the mechanical man with all her might and Raven was glad to see that her feet were floating at least five inches off the ground.

Vic chuckled once more, his rumbling voice vibrating through the air, "Uh…thanks Kor…you can…er…let go now." His shoulder attempted to shift out of the grip but failed miserably.

Kori let go suddenly and grinned sheepishly, "I am sorry, dear friend Vic…it is just that I have always found it joyous to watch other people's journeys through the trials and triumphs of love." She gave a soft sigh that emanated pure joy.

He grinned in return, "Thanks man, I owe you guys one." Vic shoved a thumbs up in front of his chest, "I'll be seeing y'all at dinner, yea? I'm cookin' tonight so you guys better be prepared for an awesome meat feast!"

"Looking forward to it Vic." Raven muttered dryly before shutting the door in his face, "_Real _forward to it."

She turned around to see a surprised Kori at the sight of the door _swooshing _close while Vic was still at the door. Though Raven prided herself for all the manners that she had possessed, sometimes it just felt good to do something out of the ordinary, she sometimes liked to think of it as a sort of therapy to clear your mind out of all the occupying and confusing thoughts and it actually did work…for the moment anyway. It did for a moment anyway but before she knew it, her thoughts came rushing back in like women in a department store full of discounted clothes, and the thoughts were making her head physically pound…which couldn't be too good in the least. She needed a distraction…_something_..._anything…to_ take her mind off the thoughts.

"Dear friend Raven, would you like me to do your hair now?" Kori;s voice chimed beautifully like honey while she held hair styling utensils in both hands.

Sigh.

It'll do for now.

**A/N: So...what did you think? No flames please? Criticism I can take...CONSTRUCTIVE criticism...flames are just...**

**:cries:**

**So, yea, review please?**

**Ooooeerrr...to make me feel better check out some of my Teen Titan fanart? **

**:thinks about how to tempt BBRae fans to check it out:**

**I've got a headshot piccie of BB and Rae kissing?**

**Tempted?**

**Hope so!**

**Check it out on...**

**monkeenoodles dot deviantart dot com**

**YAY!**

**Hopefully I'll see you all next time!**


	5. Different and Distant scents

**A/N: Ah...yes...this was supposed to be the chappie that saved my arse...but I don't think it's done that...even though I spent like two million years on it.  
**

**sigh**

**BB is a bit OOC (understatement much?) in this chappie but I just wanted to see if I could explore a more "mature" side of him since he's like...20 and all...but yea...um...didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.**

**Oh, also, this chappie's turned out a bit longer than usual (also another understatement by like 2000 words) so I hope it doesnt reallt drag on.**

**Also, this is the day after chappie 4.**

**SO read and enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

_Beep._

_Beep beep beep._

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep._

"Mmmrrgghhh…"

_Beep beep beep beep beep beep._

"Mmmrrgghh…"

Garfield continued to shut his eyes, firmly ignoring the communicator that was beeping incessantly and refusing to shut up. He pushed the edges of the pillow he was laying on over his ears and turned on his side, away from his bedside table where the damn communicator lay. It was damn well near midnight now on a Wednesday night and unless someone was _dead_, he was _so _not answering the communicator—

—wait a sec…there might actually be someone in trouble!

He grumbled…so much for having a good night's sleep...not that he was going to get any sleep at all, anyway…he had too many bruises to even get into a comfortable sleeping position from earlier this morning when one of Jump City's expensive apartment complexes caught on fire and they had to rescue about a hundred people…if not more…but they did it…if a little sloppily. He wasn't sure if it was because of the heat of the flames, the choking smog or the falling rubble that came with fires but Gar noted that they _were _getting a little sloppy in the rescuing department and he wasn't sure if it was because of those factors…or because of other factors…but it was happening and the fact that it was happening was a bad thing…heroes did not get sloppy, no matter what the situation was.

He threw the pillow hastily to the other side of the bed, stretched out a bit, and then picked up the communicator slowly, hoping that by God that the beeping would subside as soon as he picked it up.

_Beep._

It didn't, of course…just his luck.

Groggily, his vision swam a little from the fact that he had shut his eyes for quite some time, but he managed to press the button to receive the call. The screen went fuzzy for a while before forming a perfect video transmission of the caller, and—lucky him!—it was none other than the mighty Dick Grayson, though on the screen he was in his uniform, so technically he would now be dubbed Nightwing.

He scowled.

"Beast Boy?"

Garfield yawned, "Here, Nightwing. Wassup?" He slurred his words unwillingly.

"Where's Cyborg?"

"Cy? He's…I dunno." He replied lamely as he realised where Vic _really _was.

Nightwing raised a brow and Garfield could totally imagine his blue eyes glaring at him, thank God for the mask, "He's supposed to be in charge."

"Give him a break dude…he might be…I dunno…asleep or something."

"Leaders don't sleep. We patrol." His voice was stone-cold.

Garfield frowned, "Maybe if you slept more, you wouldn't be so cranky all the time." He mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"_Nothing_." He replied, putting a sing-song twist to the word, "Dude…I don't know. I haven't seen him since earlier today." Even through the communicator, the atmosphere was getting tense, "Rough day, y'know."

All Nightwing did in reply was grunt gruffly.

"Fires to put out…" His words faltered as he realised that his leader wasn't paying _any _attention to him, "Dude, if you're so desperate to find Cyborg, why don't you just call _him_?"

"I have, and he's not picking up."

Garfield sighed, "Look, Nightwing, we're fine…OK? Nothing's gone wrong."

"I didn't say anything went wrong…I'm just checking in."

"I'm sure you aren't." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead tried to portray a convincing grin.

Nightwing _actually _chuckled, sure Dick Grayson chuckled sometimes…but Nightwing?

Never.

"You spend _a lot _of time with Raven, don't you?"

Garfield grinned truthfully this time and shrugged, "I guess so. Why?"

"You didn't even _understand _sarcasm before…and now I sense sarcasm in your sentences."

"Well…_que sera sera_, I guess."

There was a pregnant pause in between the two team mates, causing Garfield to distract himself by twisting the communicator around in his grip, feeling the smooth plastic covering of the yellow item. He and Dick never connected that well, maybe they were too similar…or too different…but all in all, unless Vic was around, the awkwardness just naturally came to both of them and when it happened, they both knew not to say anything to make the situation even more awkward.

"Talking 'bout Raven…Nightwing…" He heaved a sigh, "When are you coming back?"

"Soon." Nightwing raised a brow at him, and he looked like he had been sucking on a lemon all day, "What does that have to do with Raven?"

Garfield paused to think about how he was going to structure his sentence, "I don't know what you're _really _doing in Gotham…or _why _you're in Gotham but…" the words didn't seem to want to enter his mind as they usually did, "you need to get it done…as soon as possible…if it _is _possible…and get back here soon."

"Why?" Nightwing was suddenly alert, his hard facial features hardening even more, "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing is…_really_…wrong. It's just that…" Another sigh was released from his chest involuntarily and he raked a hand through his hair only to find it to be damp with sweat, "Just take care of how you feel, OK, Dick?"

The use of his real name seemed to hit Dick as the figure on the screen fell silent and his dark brows furrowed together in what seemed to be worry. The canvas that was his face softened a little bit, just enough to see through the hard lines that seemed to be etched permanently on his leader's face and—just from the movement of his facial muscles—Garfield could see for the first time in a _long _time, why they had let this guy take the reins of the Teen Titans, why they had decided to put their trust in this man with his strict policies and his vague past.

"Just…_try _to keep everything under control, Dick. Don't let your feelings get the better of you." He laughed shortly, "We still need someone to kick our butts over not training enough, dude, it'll be hard to find a replacement if you don't come back soon."

It was meant to sound like a joke, but even to his own ears, it sounded kinda hollow…like a good joke that wasn't thought out too well. Yet, somehow, he thought that Dick knew what he was trying to say…or at least that was the impression he got when Dick let out a low chuckle accompanied with an incredulous look painted on his face. Dick let his hand wander to stroke his chin thoughtfully and Garfield was glad to see that a smile was gracing his lips, though whether or not they touched his eyes were another matter; they were still concealed by that dark mask.

"Gar, I'll be back soon, don't worry." Dick's expressions switched from a soft, almost reminiscent, smile, to a furtive look and then back again, "I just have some…_business _to attend to…I owe a friend a couple of things, so I'll be back as soon as it's done." His face turned solemn once more, "I'm sorry about Raven, I'll try to keep…_everything_…under control."

Garfield shoved a thumbs up to the screen so that Dick would be able to see it, "That's great, dude. This means that Silkie will be able to try to eat someone else other than me!"

"I'm looking forward to that." Dick replied with sarcastic undercurrents in his words, "Because I obviously miss it when it wakes me up by licking me."

"You know you love it. Now piss off so I can get some sleep—dammit!—if you haven't noticed, I don't exactly do Batman's patrol time." He yawned, "It _is_…" he looked around to check the time, "almost twelve and if you don't mind…I _really _do want my beauty sleep."

"OK." Dick replied shortly, a smirk gracing his lips, "Nightwing out."

"Yea, yea…"

With that the screen fizzled out to became pitch-black and he clumsily threw it on the floor so that it wouldn't bother him anymore, then he threw the blankets back on top of himself to keep him warm…it didn't help that the radiator in his room was completely busted…for once in his life he was _glad _that there was such a thing as global warming…it was the warmest winter that Jump City had had in a long time; he didn't understand why the Teen Titans weren't located somewhere sunnier…like L.A. or somewhere similar. The hibernation aspect of his animal behaviour didn't help much either, it sometimes made him too lethargic to even think straight and it was embarrassing to fall asleep in the most random places in front of your friends.

Whiteboard markers and cameras ring any bells?

He shuddered; he should probably get out of bed to find a shirt or something that would cover his bare chest and keep all the body heat more or less in his body.

Grumble.

Yet he couldn't be bothered to release himself from the warm embrace of his duvet and so he wrapped himself even more with the thick fabric, trying to ignore the cold draft that sometimes tried to enter the cocoon that he had made for himself. For a moment, Garfield considered changing into something extremely furry…with lots and lots of blubber…but just when he was trying to think about which animal would be perfect to keep himself out of the cold; he remembered that he wasn't allowed to stay in his animal form for too long and that Raven would probably berate him if she found out about it. She would probably scold him in front of everyone and say something along the lines of 'the stupidest person I had the perchance to meet' or 'I realised that you weren't too intellectual but I never knew that you didn't own a brain' or even something along the lines of 'you turned into a polar bear just because you were cold? Did you not even stop to _think_ about the consequences of your actions?' then she would go off in a huff until he approached her and—with all his superior charm and _hilarious_ jokes—try to make her smile. It would never work at first—of course not…if it was _that _easy, he would be suspicious and try to find out if she was being mind-controlled or something like that—but she would eventually give in, though the signs were never obvious and they were so subtle that earlier on in their relationship, he never actually caught these delicate gestures; she would send him those soft, small smiles once and only once—so if he missed it, he missed it and that _sucked_—or she would pick out the meat from dinner that had been cooked by either Dick or Vic and eat it that way, or sometimes when they were sitting close to each other, she would let her fingers gently trace the nape of his neck and it gave him shivers down his spine every time…and there was more, but right now he just couldn't think of any more, but there was always something…some gesture or signal that indicated that she had forgiven him.

Sigh.

He turned in his cocoon with his eyes firmly shut, trying to get some sleep…but for some odd reason, it was futile and the drowsiness that he experienced just a couple of minutes ago disappeared as if it never existed. He was getting hot, he realised, as the heat that was trapped in his cocoon was causing him to sweat and though a warm atmosphere usually helped him into making himself sleepy, but heat just made him even more restless than he was before and so he unravelled the duvet and kicked it onto the floor hastily, not really caring whether or not it got dirty since his floor was a mess and all. It was weird for him to not be able to fall asleep, because, _man_, Garfield Logan _loved _to sleep, and for him not being able to fall asleep was like…Vic admitting that he loved vegetable…or Kori going Goth…or Dick admitting that, yes, he did look idiotic in his old—and _really_ colourful—Robin suit…or…or…

…or Raven telling him that she loved him…loved him back as he loved her…_so very much_.

Another sigh involuntarily left his lips and as soon as he opened his eyes, he closed them again, breathing deeply as his thoughts swam in his head, and all those thought led to one thing; Raven. He knew that she was _incredibly_—he wasn't even _kidding_…one sniff of Raven and he knew it like _that_!—attracted to him and that she liked him more than a friend…but he didn't know if she felt the same way that he felt about her, with the same intensity that he experienced whenever she was around…actually, he still experienced it when she was absent from his presence as well…it was just a little subsided when she wasn't around. She always made him feel…he didn't really know, actually, but all in all, Raven just literally made him _feel_, and that was enough to make him glad that he had her…that _she_ was_ his_. He was pretty vocal about his feelings too, and not in the soppy way that you saw in chick flicks, but in the more…_realistic_…way of just saying it casually but with some emphasis…if that made any sense at all…but despite this factor, she still didn't say anything, her body language didn't even betray any of her feelings—she was quite good at that, dammit—and even though he was quite good at deciphering it, figuring out how Raven truly felt, purely by her body language and her scent was damn near impossible.

Maybe he was just asking for too much, maybe she just wasn't ready yet…maybe she really did love him but she wasn't sure how to pronounce those words so that they didn't sound silly and immature like his words sometimes sounded. Their relationship had started slow and was continuing in the same pace that it started off in and to be quite honest, it had been the slowest relationship that he had ever had…it wasn't that he was complaining—it was all for Raven's benefit, after all, and for her, he was willing to do _anything_…well…maybe not anything…he certainly was _not _going to prance around in a loin cloth for her—but sometimes it was tiresome…but whenever he grew tired of it, he remembered that Raven—if he was being completely honest…since he would never _ever _say this in public…_ever_—was quite the emotional train wreck. He wasn't trying to be mean by saying that, he was just stating things the way that he saw them, the way his human side saw things without the interference of his animalistic qualities. She was…

His eyes flickered open and he stared at the grey ceiling pointlessly.

…_really _smart, gentle—in her own twisted way—sarcastic, sharp, quiet, beautiful—in a completely out-of-the-box way…she would have never been seen as conventionally pretty in normal society, but normal society never really got to see her eyes, her drop dead gorgeous, 'you're-lucky-just-to-be-looking-at-me' eyes—always in control, headstrong, mysterious, critical, _very _powerful and…a hell of a good kisser. And yet he knew that there was something—he racked his brain for the right word—_broken_ about her. It was like she was one of those porcelain cups that Raven used to drink her tea from and if you looked at them from far away, all you would see was the cup as a whole with its intricate blue and white patterns etched carefully on it…but if you took a good look at it—at her—you would see tiny cracks in what would seem was a beautiful piece of porcelain. He didn't know where the cracks had come from but he could probably guess—probably something to do with her childhood in Azarath, her conception, the hatred she felt for her father, the fact she felt neglected by her mother, the fact that she was supposed to be a portal to Trigon, her encounter with Malchior and there was more…_way_ more—and it affected the way that she dealt with things, both emotionally and physically. Though she was an empath, she grasped the reasons behind emotions slower than others, and when she became emotional, her powers reacted in hazardous ways, and so she tried to keep her emotions more under control and she actually held discussions—_discussions _out of all things!—with her Emotions to articulate the situations that surrounded her every day.

The fact that she was…_broken_…didn't repel him at all—obviously, since he was still in a relationship with her—and sometimes he wondered if that was what made her appealing to him in the first place…because, in all honesty, he was _broken_ too…maybe not in the same way as she was, maybe not as much as she was…but he was still broken nonetheless. _Everyone_ in the Teen Titans was _broken _in one way or another, but it was still only Raven that he had been attracted to, it was still only Raven that was capable of pulling himself out of his 'humour shell' as she had liked to put it.

He laughed at the thought.

She had her introverted, pessimistic and sarcastic self and he had his 'humour shell'…it was like a comfy blanket that you didn't want to take off, not ever, and even though eventually it turned dirty and—most probably—unhygienic, you still insisted on covering yourself up in the blanket no matter how smelly it became. He _knew _that he was broken and since everyone had their own way of dealing with it, he had one as well…and his 'humour shell' was his comfy blanket, it was the smelly, dirty, unhygienic blanket he insisted on using all the time. Raven had pointed it out to him, one lazy afternoon early on in their relationship, that even though he cracked jokes all the time, he was at his 'funniest'—he remembered the look that she shot him when he said that word, _clearly_ threatening to kill him if he told anyone else—when he was _subconsciously_ angry at something, or someone and that was _probably _initially why—she pointed out to him that this was _only _a _theory_, but to Garfield, it seemed plausible enough to be true—he was attracted to her, why he liked her; even though Victor Stone was his best friend and they knew each other inside out, Raven was the only one who saw through his happy-go-lucky exterior and berated him for it and where the others had just moaned and ignored his jokes, she always told him to shut up or if she didn't do that, she would throw an insult at him. Those actions didn't sound like very nice actions but he knew that it was her way to tell him that it was OK for him to be mad and that he didn't have to cover it up with something else…of course it was a bit hypocritical on her part—seeing as though she herself only allowed her emotions to come through when she knew it was all under control—but it was nice knowing that someone could drag him back down to earth once in a while.

He felt his drowsiness tug his eyelids down slowly and he curled on his side as the comfortable darkness was all that he was able to see. His breathing slowed down a bit to suit his sleeping mode so that he was physically aware of the rise and fall of his chest and it created a rhythm that tempted him to fall into a deep sleep…

_Knock._

_Knock knock._

_Knock._

Once again, his eyes flickered open suddenly at the sound of someone knocking at his door, just when he was about to fall asleep of all times. Who the hell was it _now_? Couldn't they—whoever _they_ were—tell that midnight was not the best time to go visit someone…especially in their room? First Dick now…whoever this was…did the word 'sleep' exist in _anyone's _vocabulary? No, seriously, did it?

He lay down on his soft mattress for a couple more minutes and just let the sound of the knocking flow over him but then he decided that he was going to be a decent human being and politely open the door before telling the person outside of his door to piss off. Garfield stumbled out of his bed and trudged slowly all the way to the door, his arms hanging off from his side heavily and his shoulders heaving as if weights were put upon them. As he reached his door, he heaved a sigh, before pressing a button to make his door open up and he was surprised—_really _surprised—and a bit disgruntled to find Raven facing with her dark hair messed up atop her head and her right hand gripping her left wrist, twisting it in her grasp, dressed only in her midnight blue silk pyjama bottoms and a huge—and extremely woolly—jumper on top.

"Rae?" He asked groggily, unsure whether or not he was hallucinating, "What are you doing here, baby doll?"

She looked unsure for a moment, her upper teeth biting at her lower lip, her gaze averted away from him, darting from side to side, "I…I couldn't sleep." She still didn't look at him, "I would've gone to Kori's but…you know how her room makes me uncomfortable…" she paused for a moment, then looked up at him, and he found himself looking at the dark circles under her eyes, "Can I…stay here tonight? Just tonight…" She whispered those last words.

"Uh…" he suddenly became self-conscious of his bare chest and she seemed to detect this as her throaty laugh became apparent, "sure…come in Rae."

"Thanks."

She walked in slowly, her footsteps firm…and yet at the same time they were timid…and the way she clutched at herself got him worried, but he wasn't going to voice them…not just yet. Raven finally found herself at the edge of his bed and looked expectedly at him, her gaze falling to his chest then quickly back up again.

He grinned sheepishly at what she just did, "I…um…I should get a shirt…" he suddenly remembered that he was also only in his boxers, "and some shorts."

Raven nodded calmly and he scampered away to his wardrobe to find something—_anything_—to wear, his head turning back to look at her occasionally to see if she was doing OK; what was she doing in his room? Why wasn't she able to fall asleep? Finally, after what seemed to be a million years, he found a clean T-shirt and a pair of shorts that didn't seem to be used too much…it smelled pretty clean anyway. With whatever speed he possessed, he put his clothes on—briefly hopping around on one foot as he toe got stuck somewhere in his shorts—and went back to his bed, to Raven.

"So…what's up?" He sat down next to her on the edge of his mattress.

Raven raised a brow at him, "Nothing much."

He grinned at the bluntness of her answer, "No, I meant, what's wrong?" The brow remained and so he softened his grin to a mere smile, "It's not like you to barge into _my _room in the middle of the night, baby doll." He poked her shoulder playfully.

"I don't know…just…worried about things, I guess. Nonsensical things, true, but still things." She frowned, "And the dreams have come back again." She shrugged and threw him a meaningful look, "I know, I know…the past is the past…but still…it's not that easy to forget, Gar."

He placed his hand on top of her head and gave her hair a bit of a ruffle, "Why didn't you go to the kitchen to make yourself some tea? That always seems to put you in a better mood. Not that I'm not glad you're here, of course."

"I _did_." She seemed a bit put off by him messing her hair, so he took his hands off her, "I sat there drinking my tea for a full hour or something, and yet they didn't go away. I would've woken up Kori but she had a long day today with her photo shoot and the fire and all…and…she's got her own worries."

"Dick?"

She nodded, "Ever since he's been gone, she's…well…she hasn't been the same. Kori's a bit confused…and sad…she's…she's sad." The words that she spoke were slow, as if she were trying to taste the words on her tongue, to understand them fully.

He tucked in a stray hair behind her ear, "And you?"

"Me?" He watched carefully as both of her brows rose, "What about me?"

Garfield moved to touch her shoulder but then he hesitated and pulled away, and she seemed to realise this as her scent became that of confusion.

"Are you worried about Dick?"

Raven cocked her head to the side, before curling her lithe legs under her small body, "Anyone who knew what _really _goes on in his head would be worried, Gar."

"I guess being Batman's protégée can make _anyone _a little paranoid…but…" he chuckled at the thought but then sobered for what he was going to say next, "you're particularly worried about…whatever…he's doing now in Gotham…aren't you?"

"Maybe." She stated shortly, not giving him a definitive answer.

He moved away from the edge of the bed and towards the centre, and she followed him in suit before she finally settled down in a cross-legged position. He was well aware that, in the silence, when she thought that he wasn't looking, she was using her eyes to try to figure out what he was thinking and was also probably using her empathic powers to delve out his thoughts but he knew that she wasn't too good at figuring out how people felt by their body language and though she did have empathic powers, he was fully aware that she knew that only knowing the emotions was just one half of it and it was probably quite useless right now.

"Gar…what's wrong?"

Now _that _took him by surprise, and it took him a moment to digest that question as she sat there, looking at him, her scent that of curiosity and worry. He sat there with his head resting in his palm and he thought about what he was going to say before he finally replied.

"Nothing's wrong, baby doll, why would you think that something was wrong?" It was the truth…or at least if it wasn't, he wasn't aware of anything being wrong.

The silence spread between them once more as he watched her think on his answer; _was _there anything wrong? He racked his brain for the answer…well…no, not really…he personally didn't have any problem with anything, everything was going fine…well…he worried about Raven, but that just meant he was being protective, right? Of course he was worried about her, he had to watch as her powers waned on some occasions and her control slipped because of stress. He had to witness her worry about others—especially Dick since his absence…Dick and Kori—and never worry about herself…well…she worried about her powers but he knew that she worried because she thought that she might harm others and not because she thought that she was becoming less powerful than she was previously. So…apart from that, there was nothing wrong.

"You've been…distant." Raven stated slowly.

"Distant? What do you mean distant? I've always been here and I'll always be here, Rae."

She shook her head, "Not physically…well…actually, that's partially it but…it's like…I'm not sure but…"

"But…?"

"You don't hug me as much as you used to, you don't hold my hand unless you ask and we don't kiss unless I initiate it…"

"Is that all?" He laughed, "You're worried because we haven't made out in a while? You _know _since you're here…" He moved to kiss her but she raised a hand in front of his face.

Raven rolled her eyes, "That's not it…you've just stopped since Dick went away about a week ago…" she smelt hurt, "is it the bond?"

He sighed as she mentioned the bond. Of course, it had to come up some time in a conversation he had with Raven, especially now…though of course he still had a right to feel uncomfortable with it. The bond was just…it just wasn't right…it felt _unnatural_—which it totally was—but that wasn't what bothered him most about the bond. It was that she unwillingly received emotions from Dick when she sometimes was not capable of even exploring her own emotions so that, not only did she have to deal with things that was happening to her, she also had to deal with the things that caused certain emotions out of Dick and that…he just felt a little sad whenever he witnessed this because she had to work twice as hard as any other person.

There was also something else that he had only started noticing recently and he didn't know if it was because he was paying more attention to Raven now or if the bond had somewhat matured and developed, but he noticed that it was slightly different to when it first came to be. Before, he was only capable of smelling those emotions that came out of Raven and just identifying them as separate emotions…but now…now he was capable of differentiating between the ones that belonged to Dick and the ones that actually belonged to Raven, and it made him feel uneasy. So, sometimes, whenever he was alone with Raven, they would be having fun together and everything would be OK…but then her emotions would twist and she would smell like Dick for less than a second and then switch back again…but that was enough to make him feel uncomfortable because…sometimes it felt like he was dating two people instead of one and _that _just seriously creeped him out.

"So? Is it?" Her voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

He looked at her grimly, "Maybe." He was being as vague as she was before, "What is he _really _doing down in Gotham?"

"He's…" she traced her finger on the mattress, creating invisible circles, "Gar, that's not fair, you're changing the subject and, plus, I can't tell you that. It's not in my right to."

"One, it's not really changing the subject because it involves Dick…" he held out a finger to drive his point, then held out another, "and two, he doesn't have a right to force these feelings into you so you might as well tell me."

Her hands found their way to her mouth but then she noticed that he saw her concealing her lips, and so she stopped and dropped them to her sides, "So it _does _have something to do with the bond." She paused then he found himself looking at a face with incredulousness written all over it, "Gar, are you _jealous_?"

"Jealous?" He scoffed, "Me? Jealous of Dick frickin' Grayson? No _frickin' _way."

She interlocked her fingers, amusement hitting her lips, "You're jealous. By Azar, you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous." He exclaimed indignantly, his head shaking fervently to drive his point.

He was _so _not jealous.

OK, fine, he was a little jealous; it just wasn't fair though! He had to work _really _hard to develop what little connection he and Raven had, and it took even longer for him to get through to her—though now that he had, it was _marginally_ easier—because of how concrete her shell was, the one he constantly tried to get her out of. The shell was getting looser now, he had seen to that, but it was still a constant around her and though he loved her just as she was right now…he sometimes wondered what she was like without any inhibition, with her emotions free to fly where they wanted to.

Dick, however, got the connection with her straight away _and_ he had no romantic intentions with her at all, and so it offended Garfield even more that Dick was able to _bond _with her and he was not. From the way he heard it from Kori, Dick didn't even _want _the bond with Raven and kept blocking her our of his mind and physically not talking to her for at least a month, and that must've hurt Raven…she only created the bond out of a last resort to save Dick who had gone quite insane from his obsession with Slade. That just pissed Garfield off because, though the bond was unwanted, it was all in good intentions and he knew that if Raven was able to remove the bond completely, she would, but she had confided in him once that though it was possible, she wasn't sure how to do it and what the consequences for such actions were.

She crossed her arms and threw him a look that told him that she didn't believe him, at all, "You're jealous but…" her words faltered and he saw how the corner of her lips turned a little sad, "you're worried too…you're worried more than you're jealous. I know that you think it's wrong for me to be completely in synchronisation with Dick's feelings…but I can't help it, and I know that you know that."

She was right of course, he hated that she was always right when it came to his feelings but then again it was to be expected since she was an empath and all. The reason that she stated before was part of it—the whole being almost completely in sync with Dick thing _did _worry him—but it was something else that worried him more than that did; it was the fact that despite the physical distance between Dick and Raven, she was still completely affected by his emotions and if she denied it, he would know that she was lying because he was still able to smell Dick on her. The fact that he was still able to catch his scent on her was quite significant, because he knew for a fact that distance numbed the bond a bit and that the further away they were from each other, the less she was able to feel Dick's emotions but this time…this time the intensity of the emotion must be _humongous _for her to be able to experience his emotion even though he was all the way in Gotham. And he was worried that if Dick came back with his problem—whatever that turned out to be—unresolved that it would overcome Raven, just like it did that day when Dick left Jump City for Gotham; she didn't even smell like herself for the rest of that day, she just oozed his scent through and through, it was so unrecognisable that he had to stop himself from snarling and growling when he was around her that day. The scent was still there now…but subdued…but it was still there…

"I just want you to be OK." He said when he finally spoke.

Raven looked at him with her dark eyes piercing at him, as if searching for an answer behind his own green eyes. Her face was serene—pale, smooth, milky and hidden—and yet those eyes told him that she needed to know more, much more, than what he was giving her.

"You have always been the more…active…one in this relationship and I the more passive…" she started, and a delicate finger tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ears, "and…though I don't deem displays of affection as necessary, I've come to be partial to the way we…this…works but I don't know what the hell happened but you're—if I'm not mistaken—distancing yourself from me, and I have no idea why." She looked down, "It's just that I _know _you—or at least I think I do—and you…you _need _something physical to know that you are wanted and you are usually the one who initiates these actions to see if there's any response." He noticed that her chakra glowed briefly before she continued, "And now…you're not doing anything…you're being…well…you're being me. You haven't initiated any contact and instead you wait for _me _to initiate it and you know perfectly well that I have trouble doing so."

"Baby doll, are we back to the whole 'not-making-out-for-a-whole-week-and-a-bit' thing again?" He grinned, trying to lighten up the situation

She glared at him and he physically moved away a teensy weensy bit, "Garfield! Be serious!" She gave him a condescending look but then it melted away to show her concern, "I know that you're worried about me Gar, I know that…but…usually when you think I'm depressed or hurt or…whatever…you usually try to make the situation better by making me laugh or by doing something idiotic so I would forget about whatever happened to me but…here you're distancing yourself and…and well…now _I'm _worried."

Garfield listened to all this, quite bewildered at how determined and passionate she smelled—even though she physically looked like she was lecturing him about something boring…like physics or something—and it actually made his nose itch at how overpowering it was. As he scratched his ears, he thought about what he was going to say to her because he knew that if there was some type of error in the thing he wanted to say, she would probably take it the wrong way and leave his room in a complete hissy fit, glowing black powers and all. There were so many things that he wanted to tell Raven, to explain for his behaviour and to—if possible—just skip to the make-up making out session that actually was quite the rarity but he enjoyed them immensely.

He suddenly felt her fingers touch his and he was surprised at how cold they were, they were all ice and no warmth. And yet…the gesture was considerate and loving and though he still did not know if she loved him or not, he was sure that she cared a lot for him and if—God forbid!—they ever broke up, she would still care for him

"Baby doll…" After what seemed like an hour of conversation, he lifted her chin up with his finger, and it was the first physical contact _he _had initiated since they had started talking, "Yea, I'm kinda worried and I'm sorry if you're worried bout me but…Rae…I dunno." His finger remained under her chin and he inhaled as the scent of cranberries mixed with tranquillity entered his nose, "you know how much the bond bothers me, but I never ask you bout it…ever…and it's because I _know _that its none of my business and that you would get _really _pissed off if I showed that I didn't like it. You _would_, don't deny it."

She didn't deny it and her brows merely joined together in what seemed to be thought.

He continued, the tone of his voice sober, "And, yea, to make you feel better I would probably—as you kindly pointed out—," he laughed as her scent turned indignant, "do something stupid so that you wouldn't have to think about…whatever you were thinking about before. But…" he let his thumb stroke her cheek and was pleased to find her body temperature warm up as a response, "I noticed that this time…it was different…I don't know how…but it just was. So, I knew that the whole joking thing wouldn't work, and that's why I haven't been as…close…to you as I usually am. This was something you had to deal on your own—or that's what I thought before you got all worried—and I wanted you to do that because I _know _how you go through these situations; you criticise and analyse them with everything you have. So…I dunno…I just thought that this time it would be better for me to take a different approach." He grinned cheekily at her, "A more _mature _approach."

"_Shut_. _Up_." Raven rolled her eyes in what he thought to be disbelief and cynicism, "You choose _now _of all times to be mature?" She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again, and she shook her head, smelling amused and a little shocked, "I was right all along; you have no tact _or _timing." A soft smile appeared on her thin lips, "Gar, I can't believe I'm saying this but…it is times like these that I want, no, _need _you to be immature. As much as it pains me to say this—and I swear to Azar that I will throw you out of the window if you even _utter _any of these words outside of this room—I _want _you to incessantly spout your _really _bad jokes, to blare that stupid trance music throughout the whole Tower and to do your idiotic victory dance whenever you beat Vic at a game. I need you to poke me until my shoulder goes numb or embarrass me by kissing me in public. I'll get angry, obviously, but the anger…it'll be _my_ anger," The smile remained as she touched her chest, "and not Dick's."

A swell of comfort grew in his chest, accompanied by relief; relief that she was not angry with him, relief that she still accepted him and his faults. Before, he wasn't so sure if she would forgive him, but right now—though there was still some irritation, reluctance and anger intertwined into it—her scent was all forgiveness and all affection and it was calm…_very _calm. All the worry and tension had been wiped out with that one monologue and he was glad of it, now he knew that he was being an idiot—like she always pointed him out to be—and that it would be all fine now. Though now there was the matter of him going back to sleep…and _where_…he was still sleepy after all…he wasn't lying to Dick when he told him that he needed his beauty sleep, he could practically _feel _the bags under his eyes swelling up.

Slowly, he leaned forward so that her head was directly under him, and he tenderly kissed the top of her head, pressing slightly so that he would be able to smell the scent that was laced into her mass of dark-violet hair. Each strand was soft against his lips and he noticed that she was very warm, so warm that all he wanted to do right now was to curl his arms around her so that she would transfer some of her body heat to him…but he knew that even though they had figured out their previous problem and she was currently quite content, he knew that for now, _this _was enough for both him and her.

"Even though that was _full _of insults directed at me, to the point that I was kinda scared that you really _were _gonna throw me out of the window and even though I'm _really _sleepy…I'm glad that you came to my room tonight, I'm glad that we had this talk…" he moved back a bit so that now they were face to face with each other, "and I'm _way _glad that I have you."

He saw her smirk, her eyes sparkling darkly, "I know." She yawned.

He raked his hand through her hair before giving it a bit of a ruffle; she was tired from all the talking, and probably also from the process of relieving tension between them. He chuckled before kissing her once more, but this time on her right cheek, and the chuckle grew louder as he saw her face contort to become a cross between incredulousness and sleepiness. So in quick decisiveness, he leapt off the bed then chucked her the blanket that was lying on the floor.

"You better get some sleep…you kinda look horrible." He grinned.

She rolled her eyes in return, "Wow, _thanks a lot_…I feel so much better now." She tugged at the blanket as she lay her head on the pillow.

He smiled at her then walked slowly towards the bean bag where he was going to sleep on, but was suddenly interrupted by Raven's voice.

"Where are you going?" Her voice had a scratchy quality to it.

"Um…the bean bag? Where else would I go? I mean, _I _need my beauty sleep too, y'know…can't expect me to look this gorgeous if I don't get me some sleep."

The silence came back once more, like it always did, and as she looked at him inquisitively, he just stood there while scratching his ears, wondering what was going on in here mind right not. She smelt reluctant and yet eager at the same time, a confusing mix…but still delightfully Raven.

"Your heater broke, didn't it? It's cold here." She shuddered for more emphasis, though he knew that she wasn't cold at all since she was wearing the cookie-monster equivalent of a jumper, "You'll get cold there." She stated simple, emphasising the word 'there' for some weird reason.

He crooked a brow at her, "Yea, but, where else am I gonna sleep? Outside?"

She sat up from her sleeping position, her hands firmly gripped on the edge of the blanket, and if he didn't know any better, she seemed to be considering something and after a while, the fact that she was biting her lip nervously meant that she had come to a decision. What it was, Garfield personally had no idea.

A delicate finger pointed at the spot on her left, "You could…um…" she was lost for words, which made him even more confused, "you could always sleep here. You know, as long as you don't try anything funny or inappropriate." She sighed, "I mean it _is _my fault that you're sleeping there…"

He looked at her for a moment, digesting her words and replaying them again and again in his mind before he realised what she had just said, causing his jaw to drop. Did she just say what he thought she had just said? Seriously? He thought for a moment; did he eat some of that blue stuff that Kori had cooked up earlier on in the day? He must've, Raven did not—would not—ask him to—literally—sleep with her…it was just weird and unnatural and just…weird. Did he say weird already?

There must've been some _really_ screwed up expression on his face because the next thing she said was, "Or, if you prefer, you could just sleep on that bean bag." She stated—probably—knowing full well that he _so _did not want to sleep on the bean bag…ever…again.

He grinned, and then he scrambled onto the bed hastily but carefully so that he wouldn't embarrass himself by falling off the bed or something stupid like that. She seemed to find him hilarious by the way the edge of her lips twitched uncontrollably and before he knew it, he was sitting next to her.

Garfield placed his hand on her forehead and then felt her forehead wrinkle, "Gar…what are you doing?"

"Are you sick or something?"

"No, I am not sick." She stated patiently.

He gasped, "Then you must've been abducted by aliens when I wasn't looking and they must've taken your brain out or something and did _experiments_ on it."

"Gar…" she shook her head, "do you want to sleep here or not?"

He nodded.

She glared.

"I probably should shut up and go to sleep, shouldn't I?" He beamed at her, he couldn't help it!

She lay her head back on the pillow and he followed in suit, facing her, feeling quite surreal at how close he was to her right now. Of course, he had already been this close to her before, but somehow, this time it was different; her features were so soft when she was sleepy, all the angularity and sharpness of her face softened by the downward droop of her eyes and her lips, softened further by her scattered locks of hair.

"Um..." he started just before her eyes closed, "I'm going to hug you while you sleep, OK?" It wasn't a question really, but he wanted to ask it all the same.

She didn't reply and so he did it anyway; his arms curled around her small body, revelling in the warmth that she generated. She was small, so small, but somehow, she fit in perfectly in his arms like her size was made perfectly for his arms. Her eyes were firmly closed now, her breathing heavy and slow, but though she looked like she was asleep, Garfield had a sneaking suspicion that she was still awake.

"You know what, baby doll?" He smiled, not sure if he was talking to her or to himself, "Even though you snore, I _still _want to hold you like this forever and ever."

His smile grew wider as her scent suddenly changed to that of indignation.

Yep, she was definitely awake.

**A/N: So, what did you guys think?**

**Review it please?**

**Hope this chappie hasn't put anyone off this ficcie! Hope I see you guys next time!**


	6. Fire!

**A/N: Another long chappie...**

**Um...anyone who doesn't like making out scenes can skip like two or three paragraphs somewhere in the middle.**

**I think that's all I can warn you about...**

**:ponders:**

**Hmmmm...guess so...so read and review please!**

**Lubbeth yoo all!**

**Chapter 6**

Raven's eyelids fluttered open and her lips parted slightly while she shifted slowly in her spot only to feel Garfield's left arm firmly around her waist and she couldn't help but let a small smile creep onto her lips; he had held onto her despite the fact that she had tossed and turned in her sleep and now was facing away from him. She stayed very still for a moment, conscious of the fact that his face was nuzzled into her hair, his warm breath caressing the nape of her neck. She let her fingers drag the blanket covering her higher up so that it concealed half her face and was surprised—though she really shouldn't have been, this was his room after all—to find that it smelled like him; slightly that of a wet dog, slightly musky, slightly sweaty…and though it wasn't the most pleasant of smells, it was distinctively _his_ and for some odd reason, she found some comfort in that.

Smile.

After what seemed to be a while, she gently lifted herself up, careful not to disturb the arm that was still gripped around her, and finally she was sitting up. For some odd reason, the winter morning felt hot and she didn't know if it was because she had slept so closely with someone or if it was just her imagination, but either way, she regretted wearing her jumper to sleep. Either way, she thought that it would be better if she wore a T-shirt or a tank top next time she slept here.

Next time…

Raven blushed despite herself and tried to shake the traces of red out of her cheeks even though there was clearly no one around to witness it. Her thoughts wouldn't go away though; would there be a next time? If not, why not? If yes, would the circumstances be any different to the one now? Would she come to his room willingly or only if she was troubled by a thought or another? Next time would they merely sleep together or would they actually _sleep together_? She shook her head once more, willing her thoughts to go away; she didn't want her thoughts to overcome the comfort and the safety that she was feeling right now, the innocent bliss that came with being held by Garfield Logan for a whole night.

She turned away from the window and let her gaze linger on him; he looked so…_happy _and _peaceful _when he was asleep that at that moment it was quite impossible to imagine that this person fought crime and saved lives almost every single day, impossible to think that he was anything other than someone who had been pampered and shielded his entire life. Her eyes traced his features and she realised that even though she saw him every single day, she never actually _really _looked at him. She realised that she really didn't notice—or appreciate—how, despite the fact that everything about him was green, there were subtle differentiation in shade and tone of the colour on every aspect of him; his skin was the green that you often found in colour pencil sets, a green that you couldn't really specify and just called it 'green' though the area that ran across his jaw was a darker green, almost, but not quite, moss green and she realised that it was darker because of the shadow that stubble often created. Her eyes traced upwards and saw that his shaggy, constantly messy hair was the darkest green that she found on him and at first glance she would have definitely just called it forest green but when she looked closer she saw that it was an array of different greens, ranging from the moss green that she found on his jaw line to a peculiar looking sea green colour that caught her off guard. The most interesting—and admittedly, appealing—feature was, however, his lips…and it wasn't just because of how, even in his sleep, the corners of his lips curled ever so slightly to form a mischievous smile or just because he kissed her—on the top of her head, on her cheeks, on the tip of her nose, on her forehead, on her neck, on her knuckles, on her lips…she shook her head, blushing at the thought, now was not the time to think about kissing—with them constantly, but it was also because of the peculiarity of the colour of his lips; they were almost the exact same colour as his skin and yet instead of being blue-based like the rest of his features, she found that his lips were more yellow based and so they were a sort of…olive green colour. It was a completely unromantic way to think about a facial feature that could be deemed as something so—she racked her brain for the right word—sensual, and yet…the colour of his lips _really did_ intrigue her and for some odd, abnormal reason, she felt an urge to find out why his transformation had led his lips to turn that particular shade.

"By Azar Raven," she murmured to herself, trying to stop herself from being distracted by her thoughts concerning her boyfriend, "it's _only _a _face_, no need to get so analytical about it…"

But she couldn't help it, there was just something _distinctive _about his face that made her want to mull it over…it was as if his face was so open with emotion that you knew _exactly _what he was thinking about and how he was feeling, but sometimes she wondered if the emotions he showed on his face were truly his emotions or if they were a cover up for other emotions that he didn't like to reveal…of course there was her empathic powers but those skills only went so far…

Suddenly, she felt Garfield's fingers twitch and wiggle on her stomach then they gripped her jumper a little harder than a few moments ago. She felt a twinge of panic as she realised that for the last few minutes or so, she had been staring at him, and so as quickly as she possible could, she pulled her gaze from him and counted in her head to cool the heat generated by her skin; one, two, three, four, five—breathe, Raven, breathe—six, seven, eight…

She heard a chuckle from beside her, consequently making her even more flustered than before, "Baby doll, you don't have to look away…you can look at this sexy beast for as long as you want." She felt him grin.

"I was…" Raven took a deep breath before she turned her head to face him, "I was not looking at you, Gar, by Azar you can be a bit up yourself, can't you?"

"Whatever you say, baby doll, whatever you say." He beamed at her, "But I _do _have," he coughed before putting on a faux English accent, "dashing good looks, yea, Rae?"

She groaned, "You are _so _up yourself, it's not even the slightest bit funny."

"So you don't deny it?"

"I didn't say that you had _dashing good looks_." She rolled her eyes.

The edges of his lips twirled into a cheeky smile, "But you didn't say that I _don't _have dashing good looks, either." He exhaled heavily with his eyes closed before opening them once more.

She felt her empathic powers instinctively reach out to figure out how he was feeling and she was pleasantly surprised to find that he was content and comfortable. Her fingers reached out to touch his hand on her stomach, interlocking with his fingers, knowing that though the actions were simplistic, they felt extremely intimate and she knew that he knew of how it felt to her, despite how casual it felt to him.

"Hey, Rae…?"

"Mmmmm…?"

There was a pause before he continued, "What's that on your back?"

"What's…" Her right hand felt at her back slowly, figuring out if there really was anything on her back, and suddenly, she felt her cheeks turn red as she realised that, at the back, her jumper had ridden up ever so slightly to reveal some parts of her lower back. She bit her lip then pulled the jumper hastily down so that it concealed her bare skin, "It's nothing." Raven stated shortly.

She felt his hand touch the bottom of her jumper, and for a moment, she thought that he was going to pull it up to get a closer look, but—she sighed with relief—he seemed to think better of it and put his hand back down again, "That wasn't _nothing_. That was totally _something_." She turned her head once more to look at him, "It looked like wings…like it was painted on." The fingers on her stomach flexed a bit and she found the way his eyes widened quite amusing, "Like it was _painted _on…" he repeated to himself, then gasped, "Raven," he started, his tone serious but his emotions seemed to be bouncing around with excitement, "you have a tattoo."

She stayed silent, biting the inside of her mouth.

"Oh my God…baby doll, you have a tattoo!" He grinned childishly, "You have a _tattoo_! That's so _cool_!"

Raven paused for a second as the rush of exhilaration and curiosity hit her suddenly. He was excited, it seemed, that she had a tattoo and it seemed to stem from the fact that he thought that it was so out of character for her to have one and that it was located in such a…private…place.

"I didn't know you had a tattoo, Rae…when did you get it?"

Raven thought for a moment before replying, "After the incident with my father, I presume."

"Oooooo…" He whistled, "Quite a long time, baby doll…four or five years, I think? _Man_, I can't believe you have one and I don't. I always wanted one…but needles scare the_ hell_ outta me…not cool, I _know_." He nudged at the spot with the top of his head before she heard him speak again, "Can I see it?"

"No." There was no hesitation in her answer.

"Aw…why can't I see it?" He whined, his voice oddly high-pitched, "Baby doll, I wanna see!" He pleaded, "Please, please, pretty, pretty, _please_…!" She didn't budge and he moaned, "Aw, c'mon Rae…it's _cool_ that you have one! I just wanna see it! Please?" He pouted.

She smirked as he continued to beg for just a glimpse of the tattoo, telling her that he would do whatever she wanted for a whole week if he was allowed to look at the tattoo on the small of her back as a whole instead of just partially. His face contorted to that of eagerness and she smiled at how innocent he looked, like a kid begging his mum to be taken to the zoo or to a movie that his mum deemed inappropriate.

"Not now." She stated shortly and as he saw his face fall, she quickly added, "Maybe later." Raven stopped for a second to think about what she was going to say next, "I'll show you the whole thing one day. I promise." She left it at that.

"The _whole _thing?" His tone was suggestive and she cringed at what he might be thinking of, "You'll show _me _the _whole _thing one day? You promise?" She felt his fingers trace circular shapes through the jumper on the area located on the small of her back, right on top of the tattoo she was trying to conceal.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Gar; it can't be too good for you to have your head in there all the time." She rolled her eyes, trying to regain some type of composure.

He grinned at her slyly, "I didn't say anything Rae, I just wanted to make sure that you would, y'know, show it to me one day."

"You were _thinking _it." Raven accused him, and she suddenly felt a spark of amusement come from him.

"You love me really." He laughed, and though the words felt casual, she knew that there was something behind it, "Now where's my morning kiss, eh Rae?"

Raven turned her whole body towards him now and leaned over him as he lay on his back, a grin spread on his face like messy food on a baby's lips. Her hair fell to one side, as if shielding her from the public and a smirk played up on her own lips. Her face was close to his—about two hand spans away from his face—but not close enough that he would be able to sneakily pull her head down so that she would unwittingly kiss him, but she knew that he was thinking of a way to do it.

"What morning kiss?" She asked, keeping her tone innocent, while widening her eyes to emphasise her 'innocence' even more, "You're presuming that I would kiss you when you haven't even brushed your teeth yet?"

"You haven't brushed _your _teeth either, baby doll, so it makes no difference either way. Plus it would just be plain _cruel _to not let me have a kiss when you smell so _good_." He whined, his bottom lip thrust out.

"_You _and your _obsession_ with cranberries." She rolled her eyes but inwardly she smiled.

"Awww…c'mon, baby doll, y'know you wanna." He teased while his right hand played with her hair, "You know you wanna kiss the lips you've been staring at for the past half an hour." He pouted exaggeratedly, making kissing noises to accompany the action.

Raven hit him on the shoulder, earning a wince from him, "I told you that I didn't stare at you. Especially not for half an hour." She grumbled, "I was going to give you your morning kiss but I guess you don't really want it…" Raven let her words falter as she found herself smirking at the sullen expression that suddenly appeared both in his aura and on his face.

"No fair, baby doll, I was _only _joking…" she remained silent, causing his pointy ears to twitch, "Baby doll, don't be like that…I take it back! You weren't staring at me for half an hour! Five minutes, maybe, but not half an hour! I swear, I take it back! I never said a word; zero, zip, nada." He made a face, "Please don't throw me out of the window…" He added and she laughed inwardly at how high pitched his voice became when he panicked.

Raven raised a brow at him incredulously, "Garfield Logan, you are _such _a wuss. You know I wouldn't throw you out of the window—"

"You threw me outta the window last week!" He interjected in protest.

"You groped my breasts in the middle of a _training exercise_." She stated pointedly, "I think I had a _right _to throw you out of the window."

She watched as he chuckled weakly, "Um…bad hand-eye co-ordination?"

She glared at him, "_Exactly_."

"_So_…no kiss?"

Raven didn't reply and so the silence that came often blanketed them, leaving her to her own thoughts. Why was he so persistent in wanting to receive a single kiss? It wasn't like she wasn't ever going to kiss her ever again if she didn't kiss him now, they could always share kisses later on in the day. With her brows contorted together, she scrutinised him subtly, feeling for strands of emotions that would give her a clue to what was behind his happy-go-lucky expression and was surprised to find that she found nothing suspicious; all she could pick out from the mass of emotions in him was happiness, contentment and affection…_a lot _of affection, so much that she figured that it would be quite disrespectful to call it that and keep on denying that what he felt for her was love; pure, geniune, untarnished love. So, OK, it wasn't completely untarnished…but it was untarnished enough that she felt comfortable around him, felt comfortable enough for him to get close to her.

Hmmmm….

The discussion they had last night made her more alert than usual, but still, she felt nothing; it was like he had been waiting for them to talk about it and when it finally came about, everything that worried him and bothered him just came splurging out like an uncontrollable waterfall. He had held something back, she knew, but that _something _apparently wasn't worrisome enough that it affected him now. It was odd though, because she knew that even though he appeared to be unsystematic, she had figured out that he had a sort of pattern that he unwilling—she supposed it must be unwillingly because she had a sneaking suspicion that he had a conscious aversion to anything orderly—followed and this time, he wasn't following it. Usually after a discussion, no matter how happy he seemed to be, she knew that he would brood about the topic for at least a day or two before it finally resolved to how their relationship usually operated and yet…and yet this time it seemed like he had instantly gotten over it…like he was content with the situation he was in now, as if he knew that he had no power over their particular situation and that he would let things be as they were without tampering them. It was confusing and unneeded at a time like this, especially when their relationship was constantly at one extreme or another—either they were getting along so well that their friends seemed confused over the matter, or they didn't get along _at all_—and sometimes she felt like between the two of them, she was the only one that looked at their relationship from both he birds eye view and the detailed view. They were both getting older and she found that getting older complicated things…being and thinking like an _adult _complicated things and topics such as the concept of sex, jealousy, and the inevitable separation hover above the two of them relentlessly. Maybe he had decided to forget—or at least try to—about those topics and just follow the current until it reached some kind of destination, maybe he had decided—like many times before—to embrace his motto of _carpe diem _and just seize the moment whenever the opportunity came, and maybe he had decided that today was a safe day and that it was OK for him to ask her for a kiss, instead of initiating one himself.

She pondered on these thoughts for a while before deciding that now would be a good time to break the silence that accompanied them; it was comfortable at times but sometimes she did feel that if they were left for too long, the silence became strained and awkward…and she couldn't afford for the situation she was in to be even more awkward…she _was _in _his_ bed, after all.

"Hey Gar…?" She started, not really sure how she was going to go on.

He cocked a brow at her, she noted that he had been doing it more since they had started dating, "Yea, Rae?"

"Good morning."

Raven leaned closer to him until their forehead and noses touched, pausing there for a few moments before her lips finally met his. His lips were soft, but not overly soft, and by the sharp tingle that she felt in her chest, he seemed surprised—but pleased—that she had actually initiated the kiss that he had requested for. She pressed forward once, and with a small smile against his lips, pulled away to end the kiss…but clearly Garfield had other ideas. His hands curled up to hold the sides of her face, through the soft strands of her dark hair and he gently pulled her down closer, as not to finish the kiss, and his lips responded to hers tenderly, and an emotion that she could only think of as annoyance came about when she attempted to finish the kiss, annoyed it had been completely one sided and he wasn't given a chance to respond.

At first, she resisted, knowing full well that despite the control that she prided herself in, there was just an element in his kisses that made her melt under his touch, that made her want the kiss to lead to other things. His lips were drenched with emotion—caution, protectiveness, comfort, lust, love—that sent her and her empathic powers on a drunken high; the physical aspect was all good and well but there also had to be something driving the kisses and touches from behind or else it would leave Raven feeling extremely unsatisfied and exploited…she had experienced it before with the kisses she received from Malchior back then…they were cold and unfeeling and just plain _empty_.

Her fingers curled behind his neck, supported by the soft pillow that lay under him and she slowly traced the nape of his neck in continuous downward motions, satisfied by the physical and emotional shudder that she felt from him. He nibbled at her lower lip playfully in return utilising his sharp, well-shaped, white fangs to nip here and there, their breaths mingling with each other; her cold, misty breath with his warm, heady one, when she realised midway that they were adults with a responsibility—no!—a job to keep the city safe and that they had to stay as alert as possible, and making out first thing in the morning didn't usually fall into the category of being both alert and responsible, so she decided that even though she was enjoying this immensely—and he was too, by the way his excitement grew as their lips kept contact—she knew that she had to end it; it was, after all, the only logical choice.

Instinctively, she pressed into his lips—eliciting a husky purr from him—for a _last_, _long_, and _lingering_ kiss before pulling away from him gently so that the loss of contact with him—with his lips, with his hands, with his forehead and his skin—was lost in one, slow but fluid motion. Raven sat up, her lips still tingling from the kiss, and she pursed them in thought as he flashed a grin at her.

"We shouldn't be doing that this early in the morning. It's irresponsible." She added as an afterthought as his expression changed to that of confusion.

He licked his lips, stretched out like a cat, then placed his hand under his head in a relaxed posture, "Now _that's _what I call a wake up call." The Cheshire grin grew bigger, and in reply she just _hmph_-ed and crossed her arms under her chest, "What!? You _know _you loved Garfield Logan's own sweet brand of lovin'."

"We have jobs to do." She stated shortly, trying to calm down her thudding heart as he smiled at her like that.

He groaned in return, "_Duh_! We _always _have jobs to do, we're the Teen Titans." He sat up in his place, facing Raven, "Doesn't mean we can't have a bit of fun, baby doll…plus you are one _hell _of a kisser, did ya know that?"

She smirked, "As a matter of fact, I did." She laughed throatily as his jaw dropped, causing her to roll her eyes, "Oh, come of it Gar…I _know _because I'm an empath and felt your enjoyment, OK? _Not_ because someone else told me that I was a good kisser."

"_Hmph_." He pouted sullenly like a spoiled child, "You could've told me that in the beginning…no need to be mean."

She bit her lip to hide her amusement, "Well, life isn't all peaches and cream, and I can assure you that I'm anything _but_ peaches _or_ cream." Raven paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm going to go and have a shower now, I have a feeling that the criminals are enjoying the fact that Nightwing isn't here."

"Is that an—?"

Suddenly a loud blaring was heard throughout the Tower, earning a groan and an almost triumphant look from Raven.

"Speak of the devil." Raven stated shortly, "I guess the _fun_ will have to wait."

She closed her eyes to concentrate her powers on phasing herself back to her room to get her clothes—there would be no time to have a shower…she was just glad that she got one before she went to bed last night—preparing herself for the cold that came with the black energy she possessed but was interrupted momentarily when she felt his hand grab at her wrist, almost urgently.

Her eyes flashed open, "I'll be seeing you in the Common Room in a couple of minutes, Gar." She heaved a sigh in frustration.

The grip on her wrist loosened a little, but it still held, "I know." His emerald eyes were hazy with…_something_…but she wasn't sure what it was, "Straight after this—and I don't care if I have to threaten you with Kori's curling tongs to get you to do this—but we're going to go the that bookstore, get you a book, and get some tea afterwards at the local teahouse."

It took a few moments for this to sink in and though there were a lot of questions that she wanted to ask him right now, she felt like this was not the time, "OK."

Finally, he let go of her wrist and she was engulfed in freezing black flames for an instant or so before finding herself in the familiar setting of her room. Without a single thought, she grabbed the first uniform she found in her wardrobe and stuffed herself hastily into it, willingly blocking out all thoughts that didn't have anything to do with whatever the trouble was in Jump City. The fabric was stretchy and though it had the appearance of spandex, it did not itch and it allowed her to move however she wanted to and—as she pushed her right arm through the sleeve—it was dark.

After what seemed to be a couple of minutes, she placed her hood over her eyes so that all that was left to be visible to the naked eye was the lower half of her face though she knew that her earrings would be shining quite brilliantly right now, and at times when she was utilising her powers, so would her chakra. It was this single action that made her think about the normality that was sacrificed when she willingly took this job as a member of the Teen Titans—though, to be fair, she was never _normal_ to start off with—but she quickly dashed these thoughts as they were irrelevant for the moment; if she must think of those things, she will think on them later.

Without that much effort, she whisked herself off into the Common Room and found everyone there—minus Nightwing, obviously—waiting for her, Cyborg being at the head of the briefing of what was currently troubling the citizens of their beloved city. His face was grim, and he seemed to be tired, but for all that, she sensed that he was quite happy and Raven thought that it had something to do with a certain pink-haired minx and their outing last night.

"…this one's in the city centre…the mayor's office of all places, so we gotta act fast."

"What is it?" She asked urgently at the bleak look on their faces, "What happened?"

Cyborg shook his head, "Another fire." He grunted shortly before pointing up towards the roof, "Let's do this, Titans!"

With the unfamiliar command that was elicited by their temporary leader, the Titans flew out of the Tower through the roof, towards the open skies, and eventually towards the city centre where the fires were burning. There was no wind today and though the air was cold, it wasn't unbearable; it only started to become a bother when she sped towards their destination and because of the speed, the cold air had become thin knife-like pieces against her bare skin, cutting cruelly though leaving no visible mark.

She glanced uneasily at the odd pair of the Tamaranian carrying the mechanical man; her with her super strength carrying Cyborg as if he were nothing, and he was swinging unsteadily from side to side at the speed that everyone was flying at though he did not show his fear or his—she thought wryly for half a second—air sickness, and all that she saw—in that very quick glance—was a face that reeked pure leadership, though was burdened with the turmoil that came with it; he was not the natural born leader that Nightwing was but he was a good one nevertheless.

Suddenly, she saw it, a great billow of smoke wafting through the thin winter air, stinging her eyes with flames that were reaching higher and higher, attempting to lick the very tips of the white clouds that were above the fire. It was apparent that her team mates saw this too, as they dived alongside with her towards the fire, ignoring the sharp smell of ash and flesh that came about with fires. As she dived, her chest felt like it was constricting, the mass of emotions from the victims and from the families of the victims were flung at her with such strength that it was a surprise to even herself that she was still capable of flight and was not falling and falling and falling helplessly like a rag doll.

She ignored it.

"Titans!" She heard Cyborg's voice vaguely through the gusts of the cutting wind as they got closer to the, "Get as many people outta there…the firefighters will deal with the fire. Just make sure no one gets hurt!"

There was a vague atmosphere of agreement and understanding before everyone rushed to do their jobs, none of them thinking about the harm that might come to _them _by rushing into a fire to rescue others that they had no connections or relations with, it was almost selfless if not for the self-satisfaction that came with every job that was accomplished well, and every self-loathing that came with a job that did not go through as planned.

Raven glimpsed at the outside for a mere second, horror gripping at her throat, before following the others inside; it was horrific to say the least, a human barbecue that mercilessly scorched the building and everything surrounding it, the red and orange flames engulfing the white marble like tentacles and the heat was unbearable…it was like a hot summer's day but without the humidity and with a lot of ash. The air tasted of blood, pain and loss; there had already been some deaths, it would seem, but as she continued to pick out the emotions—and the loss of emotions—in the air, she figured—thankfully, but not without some regret and sadness—that there were not that many dead as of yet.

But there was no time to think of the losses right not—that would come later—and she scanned the area she was assigned inside the building for any victims, anyone trapped somewhere in a cupboard or under rubble, anyone who had survived. Her steps were cautious, as she knew with fire; caution was always what was needed as at any moment it was possible that the whole building came down on everyone that was in it. She was alert, both mentally and physically, for any sign of the living, alert even for the dead bodies that the families will want back. There was no one as of yet, but she had to be alert…

Suddenly, she heard something shift and then stop; someone was trying to get out…but the lack of oxygen and the lack of physical strength was probably constricting whoever that was. Raven rushed to the area where she had heard the shifting and was relieved to find, not one, but two people and though they seemed quite unconscious at the moment, they were alive and—though there was an abundance of bruising on both of them—well; her empathic powers made sure of that. With a flick of her hand, she moved the rubble from off them and enveloped them with her powers, until they finally disappeared from her sight; she had transported them straight outside to where she knew all the medics would be, and they would be safer there than they were in here with her.

The air crackled around her, indicating the profusion of carbon dioxide in her surroundings, and without a single thought behind it, she covered her mouth with her cloak, determined to stay alive at least until the last victim was sent back to safety. Rescuing people from disasters always felt different to her than that of fighting off a criminal; they always seemed to be a surreal, dream-like essence to them that made everything seem to go in slow motion, made everything seem less harmful than it really was and now it was the same. There was a sense of urgency, but it was different to when she was fighting, and it was deceitful, hiding behind her senses to make the situation seem less dangerous, less time-dependent.

Another aura pricked at her senses and she removed the beam that was pressing against the woman's chest, breaking her ribs and putting pressure on her heart. The woman was in pain, her breathing heavy, her body twisted in an unnatural way but she was smiling—or at the very least, there was a small ghost of a smile on her lips—and it scared Raven, because she was welcoming death as if it was an old friend that she had not seen in quite a while. Breathing in deeply, she ignored the heat on her back or the ways that the flames seemed dangerously close, and placed her hands gently on her chest, feeling the flows of healing go through her fingertips and into the woman, reconstructing her physical wounds and in return, the pain that the woman had was transferred back to her but it was more numb, like an afterthought, and she tucked it in somewhere in her so that she could forget about it just like she had forgotten about all the other pains she had taken and from whom, in consequence of her healing them.

"Sorry." She whispered, before transporting her, "It's not your time to die yet."

The stink of burning flesh seemed to grow even more the longer she stayed in the building even though she currently couldn't find anyone else. She stumbled around clumsily, gagging at the smell, and at the same time, trying to keep her concentration on finding others. Her eyelids felt heavy, and so did her movements, and she suspected that the heat had something to do with the drowsiness of her actions.

She paused for a moment, leaning on a wall to catch her breath, when she felt it crumble under her weight, sending herself flying backwards, the false sturdiness unable to support its already weak structure. Her back hurt as she fell, the concrete and various other materials poking at her back and for a moment, the pain made her thoughts woozy, her concentration waver…

_Crack!_

Her eyes flickered open harshly as she heard the crackling sound, and found herself looking upwards to see that the ceiling was falling apart due to the fallen wall, and she pressed her hand upwards, sending the black energy to support the falling pieces; if she had hesitated for just a second, she would have been trapped and would most likely die…it wasn't a pleasant thought but it was still the most likely outcome. Closing her eyes once again, she muttered her mantra hastily, the words tasting bitter in her mouth, and she cut off the connection between the supporting black beam and herself, so that it would stay upright for a while, just long enough for her to gather as many people as possible.

Once that was done, she scurried around the place, using both her hands and her powers to unearth various people out of the rubble; all were alive, all were injured, some only mildly and some were dying and those that were dying, she healed as much as possible without exhausting herself before sending them outside to the medics, to get professional help. It was hard to filter things out now, everything was going on at once; screams were heard, crying, the hiss of the flames, the soft wispy touches of the ash but she knew definitely that her friends weren't anywhere she could detect now, and for that she wasn't sure if she was glad or not…it could mean that they were safe or it could mean that…

She silenced her thoughts ruthlessly.

Her empathic powers picked out the auras of the living, sending her to wherever her empathic powers indicated for her to go, crawling into small corners if she had to, and hovering over piles and piles of rubble. Their auras were like cool pools of water compared to the damning flames that threatened consume the whole area and everything in it and yet…some of those auras died out before she could reach them…detecting them too late for her to heal them before their last breaths were omitted…and every time that happened in this hell that they were in, she mourned shortly, touching their foreheads in hopes that they will journey safely to the afterlife….then sending them outside so that they would be identified by the police and mourned by their loved ones.

There was a particular pair that made her heart ache—not that it didn't with all the others, but this pair was endearing to even the most stone-hearted—it was a man and woman, probably in their mid-twenties, and the male had placed his body over the female to protect her from the rubble that had been coming down on them since the fire started and he had died in the process, his blood splayed all over the concrete, and she had died too. The female had her hands clutching tightly on him, as if trying to fight him off, to deny the protection that he would give her…but it had all been in vain and they had both died in the process…both died while trying to protect each other…

"…Tom…" A croak came out from the lips of the woman.

…or not.

Raven rushed towards her, pushing the debris away from her, gently removing this…Tom…off her. At this movement, the woman growled slightly and tried to hold onto the sleeve of the man even more, and with some force, Raven finally got her clutches off him.

"Tom…" She repeated, other words seeming to get stuck in her throat, "Tom…Tom…"

Tears stained the woman's delicate brown cheeks, making the cuts on her lips and cheeks less significant than her hurt. Raven shook her head softly when the woman tried to grab for Tom, crying out for her Tom, for Tom to live again, for Tom to breathe out her name again. This emotion was beyond her empathic powers, it tore out at her chest, exploding and imploding at the same time…and yet she knew that even with her powers, she could not understand or empathise with this woman truly because she did not love this Tom…did not know this Tom as someone endearing to her heart.

"Shhhh…" Raven urged, attempting to make her tone of voice soothing as she healed the worst of her wounds, "It's going to be OK now…it's going to be OK…"

With a heavy heart, she transported the couple—the man in the arms of the woman—to the outside where they would return from the burning building physically—she noted sadly, her thoughts lingering with the man—if not mentally. To have found a love like that and to have lost it in such a way would break anyone's heart…even those of a half-demon with an obligation to suppress her powers, she thought to herself…it would most likely break her heart if Garfield…

The world in her eyes grew hazy, her eyes stung from the smoke, and her chest tightened as they took in carbon dioxide instead of oxygen. Her feet stumbled around clumsily and her arms tried to spread itself out to balance herself and prevent herself from falling. How long had she been here? The thought came to her abruptly as she clawed at her eyes; desperate for them to see clearly, how long will I be here for? Even in her weak state, she could sense that there was no one left in the area she was assigned to and that her task was done, meaning that she was able to phase herself out of the building and to somewhere less hazardous.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" She firmly whispered, her tongue fumbling over the words.

Yet her powers refused to comply with her need to get out of the building, and though some sparks seem to be ignited by her words, there was nothing that could help her…she simply did not have the energy to do anything. Her eyes then directed themselves to look upwards and found that the black beam that was supporting the ceiling was dissipating quite quickly, and would soon—if it did not do it now—fall apart. She grimaced at the thought, and at the prospect of dying; she did not want to die now…not now that she had finally found a family…not now that she actually belonged somewhere…not now that she had finally found what she thought might be love…that she might…

She coughed, "By Azar, Raven, you cannot die now…not now…and not because of a measly fire…" Her words sounded determined but they tasted empty in her mouth.

Her knees buckled under her and she gripped at the ground, trying to find something…_anything_…that would help her out of this nightmare—no!—this inconvenience; a fire was nothing! She had faced much worse before, much bigger things and a fire _cannot _be the reason that she is to die!

She closed her eyes once more, summoning as much energy as possible, before trying to phase herself out again…and failing once again…her mind drawing a blank and sinking into cold nothingness.

It was comfortable, this nothingness…cold…but strangely familiar…and with all the nothingness, the ashes and the smoke and the burning flesh disappeared from her senses and she…and she…

Suddenly a burst of emotion slammed into her chest, emotions that certainly weren't hers but felt like hers; they were determined, urgent and scared and…very, _very _familiar…she _knew _this person and was somehow a part of her. Her mind sparked at the familiarity, struggling to get a grip on her concentration, struggling to find out who this person was but the other parts of her mind refused to comply, and her vision blurred mercilessly.

"Raven? Raven, wake up!" The voice urged her.

Her eyes flickered open, her senses sharpened at her name and she found herself looking at a familiar face…though it couldn't be his because…because he wasn't supposed to be in Jump City right now.

"Night…" she coughed, "…wing?"

The figure nodded grimly but her weak senses told her that he was amused that she had recognised him. He gripped her arm and flung it over his shoulder to support her, and her legs straightened out so that she would be less of a burden. As her eyes regained some sort of vision, she realised that though the heat still lingered, the flames were starting to look less harmful than they did before and the smell was there, but it was numbed by something. Nightwing had his arm around her waist to make sure that she wouldn't fall as he was running quite quickly now to avoid the fragile structure as he was trained to do. His leaps were light even with her weight against him and he was agile when it came to the flames that still insisted on roaring.

"You don't tolerate well in fires, do you?" Nightwing asked, a ghost of a smile on his lips, "Would've thought you of all people would be able to withstand it, being a demon and all."

Briefly, his grip on her waist got tighter as he grabbed a bar to leap over the hold that was under them and to cross to safety.

Even in such a vulnerable state, she still managed to roll her eyes, "_Half _demon." She corrected him, "It wasn't like I was brought up in Trigon's dimension." She added dryly.

She heard him grunt in reply before running quickly again, zigzagging past the falling pieces and the licking flames.

"Gotham…?" She managed to croak out as they barely missed half of the ceiling falling to the ground.

"Done. Came here this morning." The short answers satisfied Raven and she merely nodded, "Heard about the fire as soon as I got here. Surprised you weren't the first one to get out." The masked man cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Lots of people in my area; both dead and dying. Had to get them all out. Exhausting work." She added matter-of-factly.

He nodded, looking straight ahead as he dashed towards what seemed to be light, "Beast Boy freaked out." His free hand grabbed at the rubble blocking their way and tore it down hastily, "Wanted to go after you but we all knew that even though he knew your scent, he would've been confused by all the other scents so it would've taken longer to find you. I volunteered." She threw him a look and he chuckled gruffly, "The bond…makes it easier."

She shrugged and found her looking at the light that was straight ahead of them. They were nearly there, and she was glad…she didn't think that she would be eating meat in quite a while. The breeze that came from the outside was refreshing and the smell of smoke and ash was dissipating quickly.

He scooped her up once again and she noticed that his breathing was haggard and both his and her uniform were slightly singed by the fire, but all in all still in the same state that they usually were. She noted that there was something strange though; he was happy. It wasn't that he was happy that made her suspicious…it was because it wasn't the happiness that came with the fact that his friend was doing fine in Gotham…but it was something else…something…

Suddenly, they were bathed in bright light, caressed by the cool breeze and enveloped by clean, fresh air. She heard urgent footsteps running towards her, accompanied by a worry that was cut in deep and relief; cool, cold relief.

"Raven! Raven!"

Nightwing let her down from his arms and she found herself being crushed by Beast Boy in a bone-crushing hug that would've rivalled even Starfire. He smelled of burning wood, and there were bruises and cuts all over his face but he was warm against her chest.

He gripped the sides of her face, his green eyes piercing into hers in disbelief, his breathing as ragged as everyone else's, "Raven…shit…don't ever fucking do that again." He pressed her into his chest once more, holding her by the small of her back, "Don't ever do that again. Shit! Who else is going to make fun of me if you go off and get yourself hurt!?" His tone demanding, implying more than his words let on.

"Everyone makes fun of you…even Starfire." She murmured against his chest.

"Ha ha." He pressed her closer, "As much as I love humour, that might've been going a bit far."

She smiled, her voice croaky to her own ears, "Are we still going to the bookstore?"

"Are you nuts!?" He growled, "OK, maybe not nuts...but I think we should get you back home for a brief check-up first."

"Hmmmmm..."

After a while he finally released her from his embrace only to be bombarded by flashes of light by what seemed to be paparazzi and reporters. She sighed; this wasn't really how she thought about finally revealing her relationship with Beast Boy…but then again it was always going to come out sooner or later, and it wasn't that important anyway…it's not like she paid attention to the tabloids or the gossip shows.

"Glorious!" Starfire squealed and hugged her for a second or two before releasing her, "You are unharmed." She beamed at Raven, revealing her perfect pearly whites in between her dark pink fleshy lips, "It is a good thing that Nightwing showed up when he did. The bond is useful in this way." She giggled before hugging Nightwing to show her thanks.

Cyborg grinned, a thumbs up in one hand, "You got us all worried there, girl. What happened in there?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Raven shrugged, subconsciously touching her hood to make sure that it was in place, "I just had a lot of people in my area and I wanted to get them all out."

"Well think more of yourself next time, eh? We don't want our lil' sis getting hurt in action." His red eye analysed her to make sure that she wasn't hurt.

Starfire shot Cyborg a look before smiling at Raven, taking her hand, "Raven has a good heart, does she not? Those actions came from the heart." She defended Raven, "Though friend Cyborg _does_ have a point…you must be more careful the next time, _yes_?"

She nodded slowly, not really sure what to say. Though she was glad that she was finally out of the wreckage and that she had saved as many people as she possible could, there was something about the emotions around her that set her empathic powers itching. It was Nightwing, she was sure, but she wasn't sure why she was worried about it; he _did_ say that his business was done in Gotham, and the fact that he came here as soon as possible showed his commitment to the team…but there was still _something _that he wasn't letting on.

"Team, we've got to get to work as soon as possible." His gruff voice interrupted her thoughts, "There was something suspicious about this fire…and about the fires that were here before when I was away." He tapped his chin in thought.

As Nightwing explained his suspicions—because the fires had only started when he had left, and also because they only happened to large buildings or large areas—she continued to watch her team mates' reaction to his return; Cyborg slipped back quite easily into the routine of being second-in-command, nodding as their team leader elaborated on what he saw when he was monitoring Jump City from Gotham, Starfire was practically ecstatic at the sight of her lover come back from his dreary childhood home and it showed by how high she was floating off the ground and by the giggles emitted by her lips…Garfield however, was unreadable, and her tired empathic senses refused to figure out how he was feeling.

Her attention went back to Nightwing, her analysing eyes hidden by the cowl of her hood and pondered on her thoughts and on the emotions that were hers but not hers; he was happy and for some odd, peculiar reason, she didn't like it.

Raven didn't like it _at all_.

**A/N: YAY! Another chappie done!**

**So, OK, it drags on a bit but...yea...um...can't think of an excuse.**

**:grin:**

**Ah, yes, and the tattoo...done in typical fanon fashion (actually...I'm not sure...is it fanon or canon?) but I couldn't resist! I swear! I know it's a cliche but still!**

**:giggles:**

**BTW has anyone heard The Kooks' version of "Young Folks" isn't just the prettiest and coolest cover ever?**

**Hell Yes.**

**Though I do still love the original!**

**So anyway, read and review please and hope to see you all back here soon!**


	7. Models, Sex and Phone calls

**A/N: Finally I finished this chappie and I feel...OK...about it. It's not an amazing chappie but I don't feel like it's a crap chappie either.**

**BTW, sorry for taking so long in putting this up, the summer has been a bit hectic and all so I've been a tad distracted.**

**Oh, yea, warnings:**

**-Characters are a bit OOC here (espesh Raven, man she is one tough cookie to write...but Cyborg is also hard to write, so yea) but I did my best! :GRIN:**

**-This chappie is VERY dialogue centred and not like the previous chappie's where they have been uber detailed, but I hope that you guys don't mind...this was a fun chappie to write!**

**So enjoy it and review, yea? **

**Chapter 7**

"Well, well, well…look-y here." Vic grinned maniacally, shoving a magazine under her nose, "Look what we've got here."

Raven frowned for a moment before setting her cup of tea down to take a look at the magazine that he had been reading. It was _JumpGirl_, the newest issue up-to-date and it was currently opened at the gossip section of the magazine and it wasn't even _just _the gossip section—her brows rose as she continued to read—it was the section which welcomed comments from their readers. This was all done in typical _teenage girl _fashion, of course, with crude comments and brightly coloured panels but_, not _in typical teenage girl fashion, this month it featured a couple of photos of Beast Boy hugging her fiercely accompanied by a questioning headline.

"_Beast Boy and Raven: Just friends…or something more?_" Garfield read from over her shoulder, "_Whoa_! Check out how many comments there are, baby doll!"

Raven scowled, "This has been going on _all_ week. Do people have nothing better to do?"

"Apparently not." Vic grinned and pointed to the caption that went with the photographs, "_Though there hasn't been anything official from two of Jump City's superheroes, last week's fire showed us that Beast Boy cares a lot for his mysterious team mate and—this had us all surprised too!—she seems to share the love too by the way that this particular Titan, known for her cold demeanour and her indifference to others, is letting him hug her. How cute! So _JumpGirls_, what do _you_ think? Are they just friends or are they something more?_" He chuckled, "_That_ is the funniest paragraph I have _ever _read."

"Ha ha." She rolled her eyes, "This is just pathetically idiotic. Why the hell would anyone care if I was dating Gar or not?"

Garfield pointed at a comment and read it aloud, "This girl seems to care; _Well, duh! Of course they're dating! Just look at how he's holding her and how she practically melted in his arms. I mean, if they're not dating, they totally should...it would be the sweetest thing ever and we'd have another Titan couple alongside with Nightwing and Starfire. Go BBRae!_" He grinned, amusement hitting his lips, "Well, she seems to be supportive. That's cool to know."

"Melted?" She gasped in horror, "Melted? I did not melt in your arms, Garfield Logan." Raven glowered at Vic and Gar's snickering faces, "And what is this 'BBRae' nonsense?"

Vic guffawed in his seat at the table, "Chill, Raven, at least she supports your relationship. Check this one out." His finger circled another comment and she looked at it closer.

"_Ew! No way! I mean they're complete opposites to each other._" She paused for a while before continuing to read it out loud, "_I mean, he's _way _too hot for her and she's _way _too emo for him. He was probably just being nice to her, you know, since she's all creepy and gothic-like. She's probably hella ugly since she never shows her face to _anyone_ coz its always hidden by her hood…the way I heard it, she has, like, four eyes or something and red marks all over her face, so why the hell would someone like Beast Boy date_ her_!? He should date _me_!"_ Raven bit the inside of her mouth and felt an incredulous expression come to her face, "Looks like I have a rival." She stated dryly, "No, seriously, why don't you date _her _instead?"

"Looks like _someone's _jealous." Garfield teased, poking her shoulder for more emphasis, "I mean I totally get why she digs me…I'm _totally _hot. The ears, y'know?" He waggled his ears for her to see.

She rolled her eyes, pursing her lips at how crude the comment was, remaining silent to his teasing. She noted that even though Vic was laughing alongside with Garfield, he had one eye on her as if he was waiting and analysing how she was going to react to a comment made by Garfield about her potential jealousy and she was glad that she was good at remaining calm and complacent because—admittedly—she was feeling a _tiny _bit jealous that someone other than her had been paying attention to him, even if she was only paying attention to his super hero persona.

"I'm sure." She said with some satisfaction as Garfield's jaw dropped at the lack of reaction.

He pouted at her before it gradually turned into a fully fledged grin, "I wouldn't date her anyway." He kissed her hastily on the cheek, and she scowled in surprise, feeling the heat come to her cheeks, "I only date girls who have four eyes and marks all over their faces and I'm pretty sure she only has two eyes and normal skin."

"Sweet." Raven stated wryly before turning to look at Vic square in the eye, "Why are you even reading this junk anyway? Don't you have something better to do?"

He chuckled nervously at her question, "I can explain." She raised her brow incredulously, "Remember that photo shoot Kori had last week?"

Raven and Garfield nodded simultaneously, not really sure where this question was going. Vic, on the other hand, flicked through a couple of pages before pausing at the featured clothes section which had a couple of girls frolicking in snow while wearing jumpers, scarves, bobble hats, boots and some even wore knitted mini dresses.

"Your point?" Raven asked, not really understanding why he was pointing at one of the girls.

"C'mon now, Raven, look closer…she doesn't look _that _different." Vic sighed in exasperation.

She looked at the pictures closely, scrutinising the model that was pointed out to her and was surprised—though extremely pleased—to find that it was Kori amongst the other models, and she was also surprised because she hadn't caught on to the fact that it was Kori earlier on. Vic was right, she didn't look _that _different…in fact, you could say that apart from her eyes—which, if she wasn't mistaken, Kori was wearing specially made contacts so that _only _her irises were a peridot green and the outer parts white like a normal human being's—and the fact that she wasn't in uniform, she looked exactly like she did around the tower. The upper part of her flowing, auburn ringlets was stuffed in off-white bobble hat, her curvaceous body wrapped in a matching knitted mini dress which offset her golden-bronze skin and her feet were snuggled in a pair of Ugg boots…Raven realised that she looked extraordinarily happy, as if she was genuinely playing in the snow with a couple of friends and it surprised her because Raven _knew _that earlier on in the day, Kori was _not _smiling as brilliantly as she was smiling in the magazine.

"Kori." Gar gasped, "Wow…she looks kinda hot."

"BB!" Vic exclaimed, punching him playfully on the shoulder…or at least it _looked _playful to Raven, she was never sure when it came to guys…

"What!?" Gar asked cluelessly.

Vic sighed, "Man, your girlfriend's right in front of ya and you're tellin' her that her best friend's _hot_? Either you're _really _stupid or…oh, wait…no…I take that back…there is no 'or'; you're just a _really _stupid green bean, aren't ya?"

"I'm not _stupid_…Raven knows that there's no one compared to her…don't you, baby doll?" He nudged her.

"Hmmmm…" She rolled her eyes in reply.

"See?" Garfied sing-songed.

Vic laughed, "See _what_? That 'hmmmm' could've been anythin'!"

"You're just saying that coz you know that if you said that in front of _Jinx_, she would've beaten you up on the spot!" Garfield exclaimed triumphantly, pointing at him for more emphasis.

"No way man, she _so _would not. She ain't like that!"

"Would so!"

"Would not!"

"Would so!"

"Would n—!"

She interrupted them by slamming the magazine down on the table harshly, causing the dining table to vibrate softly, silencing them in an instant, "Will you two please _shut up_? Does it _really _matter if I cared or not what he thought?" She asked, blatantly referring to Garfield, "Though I do agree with him, Kori looks extremely attractive in these pages. She looks slightly odd though, doesn't she? Like she's out of place or something?"

"Well…she _is _a 6'4" Tamaranian princess with skin so golden bronze that it totally kicks the asses of those girls in the fake tan commercials, hair so perfectly auburn and curly that it would seem unachievable with a normal curling tong and a body to rival those girls in the Victoria's Secret fashion show. She also makes those other girls look hella fat and ugly and we all _know _that they're not fat or ugly at all…so, yea, of course she looks kinda out of place." Garfield spouted suddenly, earning incredulous looks from both Raven and Vic, "What _now_!?"

Raven bit her lip, exchanging a meaningful look with Vic and sighed, "As much as I appreciate your well thought out elaboration…well…_that _was a bit too much." A small smirk graced her lips, "_Because_…comments like those _do _make me wonder why I'm still in a relationship with you."

"HA! You just got _burned_!" Vic laughed, "_Man_, your relationship is _way _better than cable." His laughter grew even more under the not-so-amused gaze of Raven, "It's like watchin' one of those girly soap operas."

"Oh." She leered at him, "So _you _watch girly soap operas, Vic? I never knew." Raven traced the corner of her lips with her finger slowly, emphasising the sneer on her face, "I'll make sure to tell Kori that someone apart from her watches Gossip Girl."

"Ya know I don't watch those shows, Raven!" Vic complained in exasperation.

"I'm sure." She stated monotonously, pausing to take a sip out of her porcelain cup while flicking through the pages to look at the sections that Kori was in, "I remember she couldn't stop talking about the photo shoot for quite a while." Her voice dropped lower, so low that she wasn't even sure that even Garfield was capable of picking it up, "I'm glad that she found some fun in the Dick's absence. She deserves it."

If the other two had heard her, they did not give any outward sign, especially Garfield, despite his animalistic hearing. She continued to look at the images in the magazine, smiling softly at Kori's deliciously happy figure and wondered if Kori had once more found somewhere she thought that she belonged amongst all those skinny, beautiful and extraordinarily photogenic women, if she had found somewhere she fit in not because of her unique powers and their uses against the forces of—as much as she hated calling it this particular word because of how clichéd and corny it sounded, but she knew that there really wasn't any other word that could describe it—evil, but because of her appearance; her exotic, statuesque and exceptionally beautiful appearance from being a descendent of the Tamaranian race. Every member of the Teen Titans had…unique…physical features of course, but they never seemed to match the ones that she possessed and Raven knew that at times Kori felt too tall, or too voluptuous, or too muscular, or too…there were too many things that Kori felt 'too' of and it was ironic that on some occasions Raven had the opportunity of feelings Kori's jealousy and it was directed at her, at how—in these circumstances—she looked marginally normal compared to the Tamaranian. So, naturally, Raven felt glad that she had found girls who were equally as beautiful—well…_almost_ as beautiful—equally as tall, equally as long-legged and equally capable of causing traffic with a mere smile.

Raven paused her thoughts as she swallowed the last of her tea—camomile today—and continued to listen to Vic and Garfield bicker about the merits and shortcomings of watching trashy TV; they both agreed that it was a good way to relax though they disagreed on it's educational values as Vic claimed that TV, despite how good it is, was only ever educational when it came to documentaries and news and yet Garfield claimed that you could watch _anything_—say, a sci-fi show, for example—and get some moralistic significance from it. However the statements were never said in those exact words because, sometimes, she wondered whether or not Garfield ever had any words in his vocabulary that contained more than three syllables in them.

"So…" she cocked a brow at the pair, a smile playing on her lips, "as enthralling as your conversation about trashy TV is, does anyone know where Kori is today? The last time I saw her as this morning and now it seems that she is missing. Dick is too." Gar opened his mouth for half a second and she knew that he was going to say something really suggestive regarding the two, so she glared at him and that—quite conveniently—shut him up, "And _no_, they're not alone in their rooms doing…" she squirmed inwardly, trying to cool down her hot cheeks, "whatever it is they do alone because I would've had headaches when I passed either one of their rooms and my head is perfectly fine, thank you very much."

"Didn't she say that she had some other photo shoot today? I think _JumpGIrl _wanted her for another issue." Vic said solidly.

"Oh…" Raven bit her lip unconsciously, "right. Didn't she just have a photo shoot yesterday?"

Vic nodded absently and started to pick at his sausages, "Um, yea, I think so. I think it was some fake tan company that wanted her for their ad or somethin'. God knows Kori looks like she lives in L.A 24/7."

"Ooooo…" Gar cooed in his seat, taking the magazine from her hands greedily, "Kori told me that she's got another photo shoot for some clothes catalogue the day after tomorrow. She was all hyped up bout how many clothes she was gonna try on and she said that the company told her that she could keep some of the clothes." He rolled his eyes, "_Dude_, I still don't understand girls' obsession with clothes…I mean how many pairs of the same style skirt could you possibly have?"

"Never mind girls and their obsessions." She waved her hands absently in a shooing motion, "That means that she's had three photo shoots this week. Isn't that a bit much though?" She questioned, her tone clearly worried, "I mean, now that she had a job, isn't it going to affect the way she fights? She doesn't seem to be tired now but gradually it's going to take its toll isn't it?"

"Nah, girl can take care of herself. I mean, Dick'll make sure she doesn't outdo herself and shit. That's probably why he went with her to the photo shoot today." Vic shrugged though Raven could sense pride under the thickly laid casualness; pride that Kori was capable of standing on her own two feet and being so successful at it.

Raven bit her lower lip, causing it to sting ever so slightly and as her lower lip started to swell with the pain, she felt her own feelings of pride swell up. Kori was a foreigner to this planet—still is, as a matter of fact—and her first few years living on Earth were filled with embarrassing mistakes and hardships caused by misunderstanding the culture here on Earth and now she was actually making a living separate from the income that came with being the guardians of Jump City and though—Raven knew indefinitely—the income wasn't too good and her jobs were small, she knew that Kori—being Kori—would eventually find a way to charm herself to the hearts of everyone in the modelling industry and would, eventually, become successful in her right; it would be a crime to look like _that _and _not be_ a successful model.

"Ha! As _if_!" Garfield made a face to no one in particular, "Dick only went to _death-glare_ at anyone who looks at Kori for more than two seconds…which probably would be everybody. There's gonna be more casualties at the photo shoot set than at any of our other missions." He did a weak imitation of Dick's 'death-glare' causing Vic to howl with laughter and Raven's brow to rise questioningly, "Y'know he _hates _the whole modelling thing, thinks it's a complete waste of time but he doesn't have the heart to tell Kori coz she loves it so much."

"Nah, he doesn't hate the whole biz, he's jus' jealous that there are gonna be male models that are better lookin' than him, man."

Garfield snorted dubiously, "Yea, right. God knows how many times _Dick Grayson _has gotten into the lists of most eligible bachelors. The dude is in there like every frickin' _year_."

"Well, so what? Roy Harper—y'know…Oliver Queen's ward?—gets in every year too and he's like the ugliest guy in the world." Vic scoffed.

"_Ugly_!? Dude, if I was a girl, I would _totally_ do him!" Garfield challenged his best friend, a fist clenched tightly in front of him, "You're just jealous that every year those guys who get on that list get to take photos with the hottest models around and I bet you every single one of those models _always _gives their numbers to those dudes."

Raven shifted uneasily in her seat at the direction the conversation was apparently heading; there was nothing marginally threatening about the conversation but for some odd reason, she felt her heart lunge dramatically in a downward motion. It had been going on for the past couple of days—the odd sensation of the clenching of her heart—whenever she thought about Dick and her empathic abilities and her bond seem to feel anxious about touching upon his emotions for what he might be feeling. It was silly, definitely, as there shouldn't be anything there—apart from the usual angst and grief he harboured deep in his heart concerning all his losses—that should make her feel cautious around him but her gut instinct told her that there was something wrong.

Well…

It wasn't _wrong_, exactly, but it was more…unexpected…she was no fortune teller to predict the future but her intuition about how events would play out usually turned out right and there had only been _three _occasions up to now that caused her to doubt her intuition; the defeat of Trigon, the defeat—or at least, the dispersion—of the Brotherhood of Evil and the way things would play out between her and Garfield right before they had started dating and so…the fact that her intuition wavered when it came to Dick worried her. The fact that she was _wary _of this underlying—she scrambled around mentally for the right word—delight instead of glad made her worry.

"No way! I _so _have a cuter butt than Brad Pitt!" Garfield's comment interjected her thoughts forcibly, causing Raven to sigh both in relief and frustration.

Vic guffawed at the comment, slamming at the table with the amount of force the laughter induced, "_You_!? A cuter butt than Brad frickin' Pitt!? You _wish_!" He continued to chortle at her boyfriend's comment, "The only thing uglier than yo face is your frickin' butt!"

"Oh yea!?" Garfield retaliated, "How the hell would you know!? Do _you _check out people's butts all day or somethin'?"

"No! I know how ugly yo ass is coz it's the only green ass around this place that get's kicked by me every single frickin' day!" Vic stuck a tongue out at his best friend.

Garfield grimaced and reacted by shoving his middle finger in front of Vic's face, "You are such a lil' fuc—!"

"Vic has a point, you know." Raven interjected the crude comment that was just about to come out of his mouth, "And, _please_, try to refrain from swearing. I mean, I don't have anything against colourful language but it would be nice _not _to use it against our friends."

"You take all the fun out of life." Garfield pouted.

She rolled her eyes, "I do it for the sanity of others." She drawled, sneaking a peek to glance at the indignant look on his face.

He went on to ramble on about the perks about having such a good-looking comic relief on the team and how they would actually go _insane _if he wasn't on the team and how _lucky _they were to have him on the team and yet she didn't interrupt him. The mention of Dick had put such a downer on her spirit and despite how happy Garfield was feeling today, it did not affect her in any way, and if it did, the effect was temporary. It was such a waste, really, being an empath and not even being able to appreciate such an emotion and instead being distracted by an emotion about something that probably didn't even concern _her_…well…OK…that was a half-lie…it did concern her…but, _really_, it was _his _problem and not _hers_, whatever it was.

And yet...

"Gar…" she started as she realised that his monologue was getting a bit tedious, "can you please do me a favour and get me my spell book in my room? It hasn't got an English title but you'll recognise because its leather bound and the book is black on the outside but the inside of the cover is red. Oh," she pursed her lips before she continued, "it's also got a really intricate engraving of a rose and a sun on the front."

Raven watched carefully for his reaction and was relieved to find him grinning widely, "Sure thing, baby doll. I'll have it down in a sec." His brows suddenly contorted together, causing her to inhale sharply, "What's your password again?"

She sighed in exasperation at how long this was taking and with a single glow of her chakra; she sent her password into his mind.

"Oh…" his mouth seemed to work slower than usual as comprehension settled in, "thanks, baby doll." He leaned in and kissed her quickly to her disgruntlement, "See you in like two secs."

Frowning to herself, she watched as he walked out of the kitchen calmly, whistling to himself idly as he went off on his mission to get a book for her. She let her fingers rake through her hair subconsciously as she tried to gather her thoughts, taking in the peace and quiet that came with Garfield's absence. Raven put her lips to the edge of her tea cup and put it down once more as she realised that she had already finished all the tea that was in that cup.

"Yo, Raven, so what was that all about?" He raised a single dark brow at her curiously.

Raven paused for a while, "He was getting on my nerves."

"Aw, come of it Raven. You get pissed off by him _all _the time but you never once actually lied to him to get him to piss off." He cocked his head towards the door subtly.

"Well, what makes you say that I was lying?"

He grinned in reply, "If you really did want to read that book, you would've gotten it by yourself. You _hate _people comin' into your room…_especially _Gar goin' into your room."

Her instincts immediately told her to deny her lie but then after much consideration, she decided to let it lie between them. Vic was exceptionally perceptive sometimes and she wasn't being too subtle before when she got rid of Garfield a couple of moments ago and so it was all spelled out for him and she knew that any second now his brotherly ways would inevitably kick in and compel him to ask her what was wrong.

She really _did _want to talk to Vic; it was why she got rid of Garfield after all. Yet she didn't know if she was comfortable enough on approaching the subject that she needed to discuss with him, even if it was important. It was an embarrassing subject, awkward in every way and if she didn't approach the subject properly she would continuously be blackmailed by him…not in a horrible way, of course, just in an annoying way. Well, horrible or not, she didn't like to feel that she was literally owned by someone because of such a subject so she knew that she had to be careful with him.

Raven stood up from her seat and walked towards the kettle, "Do you want some tea?" She offered as she poured some hot water into her cup.

She continued to sprinkle a teaspoonful of camomile tea leaves into her cup and stirred it carefully as she felt his ever-watchful mechanical eye on her back. The fingers on her left hand carefully traced the rim as she counted how many seconds before Vic would interject the silence and reply.

"Nah, I'm fine thanks."

She turned, a small smile planted firmly on her lips as he replied just the way she knew he would. After placing her teaspoon in the sink, she went back down to her seat and took a long sip before looking Vic straight in the eye.

"I knew you'd say that, just thought I'd ask out of common courtesy, though." Raven stated, "So…um…"

"Yea?"

Raven drank a bit of her tea again, "So…I wanted to talk to you about something…" she started slowly, taking in his emotions as she physically took in the tea.

"And ya didn't want BB to know? He could've helped…maybe." Vic frowned, "OK, probably not. Apart from turnin' into animals, the green bean's a bit useless, yea?"

"Well…it's complicated. I just wanted to ask about…well." Raven bit her lip and shook her head slowly, "Never mind, I can deal with that later. It's not _that _important."

"Suit yourself, I'm jus' sayin' that if ya need someone to talk to, I'm here for ya 24/7…well…OK…not when I'm wit' Jinx…or wit my baby…or when I'm havin a meat feast or…"

"OK…I get your point. You're there for me 24/7. Except for when you're with your baby, that is…and I'm not sure _which one _you're talking about." She smirked slyly, looking at him from the corner of her eyes, "Anyway…" she started, not really sure what she was actually going to say, "Have you noticed anything strange about Dick? You know, since he's come back?"

Damn.

As much as she wanted to beat around the bush, why was Dick the first topic that came to mind!? She sighed, cocking her head to the side idly, mentally slapping herself for the stupidity that came out of her mouth. She could've asked about the weather, or about meat or about cars or even about Jinx but _no_, she _had to _bring _Dick _up into the conversation when she knew full well that as much as she wanted to avoid the _real _topic that she wanted to talk about, talking about Dick was _not _the solution. Mind you, it might make things a bit more complicated, even.

"Dick? What bout him?"

Raven quickly looked downwards in thought, "Just a thought, I just wanted to know if anyone else thought that there was something…off…about him recently. Maybe it's just me." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"Hmmm…no, I noticed nothin' girl…sorry. He's still the same stubborn, antisocial guy that we all know and love." He laughed at his own private joke.

"He's been sucked into the whole fire thing, hasn't he?"

Vic grinned and eventually nodded, "Yep, and hell know's when he's gonna come out again and have fun."

"Dick Grayson's definition of fun is hanging out with the sexy, young socialites back in Gotham, whereas Nightwing's version of fun is solving cases and not coming out of the Tower until he solves it." Raven pondered on this for a while, "And he's definitely in Nightwing mode right now. Has he even taken a shower since he got back from Gotham?"

"No idea. I mean, the only person he actually sees for more than half an hour is Kori." Vic replied.

"But he's happy with her, right? I mean, I'm an empath and I feel some sort of…happiness…deriving from him."

"Dunno…but he should be…he's spendin' _a lot _of time with Kori, if ya know what I mean."

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, I know what you mean…doesn't mean I _want _to know what you mean." She shuddered visibly to emphasise her words, "He probably just…misses her a lot. Well, he must do by how sometimes he _forgets _to block the bond between us when things get…um…" her cheeks flushed uncontrollably and she tried to hide her face by lifting her cup up, "exciting."

Vic frowned for a while, digesting her words until she saw comprehension dawn in his eyes and amusement splurge out of him like an uncontrollable waterfall. It didn't help that her cheeks reddened even further as his booming laugh came out of his mouth and the slap of his hand on the table cause it to vibrate subtly. She noticed that the happiness that was emanated by Garfield—though it was as loud as his—was different in a way; Garfield's happiness was pure, sunny yellow whilst Vic's was more of a spring green colour…the type of yellow that had a hint of blue in it and was mellowed down by splashes of white. His happiness was still exciting to feel but when her empathic powers intertwined between the layers, she could feel elements of tranquillity, whereas when Garfield was happy, all you were able to feel was the contagious adrenaline coursing through him like some type of drug.

He chuckled in a teasing fashion and plonked the rolled up magazine he was holding gently on her head once, "Must be hard havin' him in yo head all the time. I wouldn't know how to survive bein' all moody and bossy because of someone else's emotions but then again you already know how to be moody and bossy." She threw him a glare but his chuckle didn't subside, "I'm kiddin', Raven, no need to have a total bitch fit."

"You're lucky that I actually like you." Her brows quirked, "Well, I guess I'm just being a bit paranoid and all about Dick. I just…there's just something that's bothering me but I just can't…" she pointed aimlessly in the air, "put my finger on it."

"Yea, you're probably jus' bein' a bit paranoid…I mean…Dick is Dick…nothin's ever gonna change bout him, I bet my life on it." He rubbed his chin in mock-thought, "He's been on the phone a lot though, recently, the man just talks and talks and talks and there's no stopping him. I don't even know who the hell he talks to."

Raven's head shot up to look at Vic as he said those words, "How would you know that he talks on the phone a lot? Don't we all share one phone line, so that would mean that every one else would notice it too? _I _certainly haven't noticed this particular change in his behaviour."

"That's where you're wrong." He shook his head, "I mean, yea, we have one shared phone line—and the phones sharin' this line are located in all yo rooms plus the Common Room, the kitchen and the training rooms—but Dick has his own phone line that is exclusively used to contact anybody in Gotham, jus' like I have my own phone line that goes straight to any S.T.A.R Labs branch I wanna call." He shrugged at the surprise that she knew she displayed broadly on her face, "And all phone calls are monitored through the computer in my room—which automatically connects to the computer in my brain every time I recharge—and also through the computer in the Information Lab downstairs. So, yea, as long as you look in the right places, you'll totally know that Dick's been makin' a lot of phone calls."

"Figures." She sighed, "Where exactly do these calls go to? Any specific location?"

"Well, I haven't really tried tracin' the exact location but I know that these calls all go to Gotham, one way or another. Nothin' suspicious though, he could be callin' Bats, right? Y'know since he _did _go back to Gotham to help out wit' the whole villains thing."

"But he didn't…" she stopped, realising that if she continued that sentence, she would be revealing Dick's real reason to going to Gotham, "Yes, I guess that must be the reason."

She sighed; that _really _didn't solve _anything _at all…he could've been calling _anybody_. He could've been calling his butler Alfred for some kind of sentimental value, he could've been calling Batman to exchange information on various villains that may have been jumping back and forth through Jump City and Gotham, he could've been calling the third Robin to make sure that he was handling his job well and he could've been calling Barbara to make sure that she was doing well and that she wasn't straining herself; he was probably offering her moral support and making sure that she knew that she wasn't any different despite her disability. It was easy to forget that Dick had another family in a completely different city to theirs, it was as if he had _always _been the leader of the Teen Titans and had not previously been Batman's sidekick but his new behaviour and emotions made her rethink her thoughts about him again and, frankly, all the conclusions she had made either did not made sense or did not end well. Frankly, she preferred the conclusions when they did not make sense.

She shook her head.

But…that wasn't what she wanted to talk to Vic about, so there was no point pondering about it. Embarrassing as it was, it had to be done if she was to take things even further than they were now. Oh, she hadn't told _him _that she loved him yet—she wasn't even sure of it yet either—but she had to take certain precautions because she didn't want to do anything reckless and completely out of character.

"Vic…" she inhaled deeply, bracing herself for the subject she was about to approach, "you _do _have all our medical files here in the Tower, right?"

"Yea, I've got a copy on the computer and in physical files somewhere in the Information Lab." He stroked his chin thoughtfully, "S.T.A.R Labs have a medical file on every superhero in some sort of team or another. Like…the Justice League, the Teen Titans—of course—Titans East and Young Justice. I've probably missed a few, but you get the point, yea?"

"Well, that's a little…disconcerting." She knew her tone was a little unsure but she managed to compose herself, "So…what does it say about me? I mean, you don't need to tell me the details…just a vague description of it."

He cocked a brow at her but didn't say anything about her surprising curiosity, "Well, it says somethin' bout you bein' a hybrid of a human and inter-dimensional being—I told them to stick the word 'demon' instead of 'being' but they said that they didn't want to be religiously affiliated or biased. I mean, man, the dude has _horns_ for hells sake!—it has your physical description—the whole really pale skin thing, violet eyes, black-purple hair, etc—your eatin' habits, your involvement with the superhero biz—the whole high activity sports thing, y'know?—if you've had any severe injuries before. Um…description of your powers and…" he pursed his lips, "well, we usually would have your parents' medical history but seein' as one is an evil demon by the name of Trigon and the other…well…Arella isn't really her name is it? And she's livin' in Azarath so it's not like we can get her medical history either."

So, basically, they practically knew her physically inside and out. They probably knew things that she was yet to know and probably didn't need to know. They had regular check ups, of course, done by both Cyborg and also a scientist from S.T.A.R Labs because, apart from Dick, none of them were able to go to a regular hospital because of their…_unique_…anatomies. It was a hassle, really, not being able to visit a regular hospital because when it came to injuries, there were always a lot of them, and sometimes they weren't the ones that both Vic or Raven could heal and so they had to wait for S.T.A.R Labs to send someone over, and to send more equipment over.

So, in all technicality, they should have what she was looking for, shouldn't they?

"Well, Vic…I really don't know how to go about this but…er…" she watched as his brow rose at her obvious anxiousness, "they wouldn't have…um…each superheroes'…um…fertility condition, would they?"

She cringed as his jaw suddenly dropped, revealing her suspicions that what she was approaching was _not _something that Vic was comfortable talking about, especially to someone who he perceived as a little sister. She was conscious of his shocked emotions that just hit her in that second but decided to try to regain some type of poise.

"Fer…Fertility condition!? What the hell would you need that for?" His human eye widened even more than they did before and even without her empathic powers she could see the astonishment he was feeling, "Oh…my…God…Raven you're not pregnant are you!?"

He half-shouted that last question—it was quite loud actually, she wouldn't have been surprised if anyone standing in front of the kitchen doors would have heard him—and her cheeks immediately flustered a deep scarlet colour on her cool, pale skin. She felt a sudden jolt of power course through her as the delicate porcelain cup in front of her burst into tiny shards and the tea spilled out violently, staining the front of her uniform. There was no way she could recover from her reaction and she did not even bother trying to recover from it. She was embarrassed, deeply embarrassed, even though his conclusion had been utterly, utterly false. It was still disconcerting to know that your brother-figure would jump to the worst case scenario if she asked a question like that…though to be fair; it _really _wasn't something that two friends talked about.

Raven felt her chakra glow briefly, stinging at her forehead, "I am not…" she exhaled raggedly in discomfiture, "I am not…_pregnant_." The word lay distastefully on her tongue, "I am _not_ pregnant." She repeated, this time firmer, "Really, Vic, do I look like someone who would get knocked up?" The last sentence had a bit of a _laissez-faire_ tone to it, but she knew that he could tell there was some heat behind the words.

"So…why did you want to…I mean…what the hell, Raven!?" He seemed to be choking, his throat indecisive at what words he was to say to her, "This is just not…_normal_!"

"Well, the thing is—"

He interjected, "I mean I didn't even know you guys were…" he shut his eyes and shook his head frantically, "Man, I can't even _say _it."

"We're—"

"I mean, yea I knew you guys sometimes slept in each others rooms—I mean, I check the security cameras every day and all for blackmail material—but…but…I didn't think…" the poor guy, Raven though silently as he once again interrupted her, he seems a bit traumatised, "BB would have totally said somethin' to me, right? I mean…some type of…I wouldn't wanna know but he would tell me _anyway_…and…"

"For the love of Azar, Vic, Garfield and I haven't done _anything_." She hissed at him, frustrated at his reaction, "Calm down, _please_. And _shut up_!"

OK, so it was expected but…still!

"So, what the hell? Don't tell me that BB's been pushin' you for sex, coz if he is—and I don't care that he's my best friend and all—I will actually smack him up." He glared at nothing in particular, "So, has he? _Has he_? I mean, yea, he's a bit over flowin' wit testosterone but, _damn_, can't that dude control himself!? Especially wit _you_!?"

She raised her arms in protest, "No, he hasn't been pushing me or anything. I promise." She added hastily as he growled menacingly.

So, that wasn't a lie…well…not really anyway. Physically it wasn't a lie—it was true!—he hadn't been asking her for sex…there were always the innuendos and the cringe-worthy joke suggestions but it always stopped at that. He had never ever harassed her for sex, pushed her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with and he didn't even sleep in the same bed as her unless she personally asked. And he was sincere, _completely_ sincere, when he claimed that he would wait for her until she was ready, that it wasn't the physical aspects that kept him in this particular relationship.

But…

He wanted it, _badly_. It was so obvious by his emotions that he craved for her, craved for every touch, every kiss every caress that she would give him. It was evident in the loud dreams he had…it was just…_there_. She didn't know if it was just male testosterones, or his love for her or even the primal state he feared so much—the Beast—but it was just there, his wanting, right under the surface of everything else. It wasn't a bad thing; really, it was probably natural for him to want to take their relationship to the next step after a year and a half together.

"I just want to be prepared, just in case we do decide to…" she glanced at him briefly, "consummate our relationship."

She wanted to be prepared, alright, because…well…she wanted it too. Not as much as he did, but enough that she would happily give in to his cravings. She thought she was ready, ready to accept that sex did not equal to rape and vice versa. Raven knew that she felt strongly for Garfield and even if it was not love—and it was actually just an extreme surplus of affection—she knew that if there was one person she would want to sleep with for the first time ever, she knew that he would be the only candidate in her mind. He loved her and she knew that he would be gentle with her and wouldn't hurt her if his life depended on it and maybe she'd come to enjoy it; her and Kori had talked about Kori's sex life—despite Raven's protests—numerous of times and the one thing that her best friend always emphasised on was that it was _great _and that she always felt _complete _when the deed was done. It wasn't the main reason why Raven decided that she might also want to take it to the next level, but it helped.

They had to talk about it together first, that was a must, she mused thoughtfully to herself. She had to know that when they did finally do it, the would do it because they both wanted to and not because they were pressured by each other, or because they were pressured by how short a time they might have with each other, or because it was just what normal couple did when they were together. She had to know that they would do it safely and not be reckless, even if the actions towards safety would completely destroy the whole moment.

However, before she talked to Garfield, she needed to find out about herself too, about how her own anatomy worked. It was embarrassing, Arella never gave her the sex-talk and the fact that she was half…demon…didn't really help that much either. Oh, she knew that her anatomy was similar—if not exactly the same—as a human's but she knew that there must be _some _minor differences in how her body worked due to the whole demon blood. She just needed to know a few things here and there, minor details that would usually be overlooked by others, but it bothered her that she did not know and the only person she knew that would know _anything at all_ about this would be Vic.

Raven let her chin rest on the back of her hand, "I'm sorry about this but you're the only one I know who keeps track of these records. I just want to know _how different _my anatomy is compared to that of a…_pure_…female human's anatomy…especially in the…um…sexual organs." She couldn't help but let out a rusty laugh at the uncomfortable look on his face, "Vic, if you would stop making ridiculous faces and actually listen to me, you might actually be of some kind of service to me."

"I…man…Raven this is kinda weird." He gulped.

"Look, Vic, here's the deal…I'm not having sex right now," she stated firmly, looking him in the eye sharply, "but when I do decide to, I want to know _everything _there is to know about how _I _would react. I'm a hybrid, and if I were _purely _human I wouldn't be asking you this, but I'm _not_."

He sighed, "OK, Raven, I'm doin' this for you, even though it is still totally weird for me to be doin' something like that. Jus' don't go scarin' the shit outta me again like that, yea? I thought you were frickin' _pregnant_ for God's sakes." He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again, "So, what do ya want me to do bout it?"

"I want to know whether or not I am capable of getting pregnant," she paused as she saw that he wanted to interrupt and so she placed a hand in front of her to stop him, "and if I _am _capable, what are the chances? I want to know if I am immune to STD's because of my demon blood or if I'm actually _vulnerable _to it and I want to know whether it is even _safe _for me to sleep with someone and vice versa. I mean, I have regular periods just like any other human—"

"OK, OK, I get yo point…just _stop_ right there, OK? I don't like talkin' bout…periods." He grimaced, before she felt realisation dawn on him suddenly, "The ones we have here in the Tower are detailed but I dunno if I can find stuff like that in here so I'll get S.T.A.R Labs to send over your _complete _files and I'll look over it." He shook his head to himself, "I'll tell ya if I find anythin' funny but if I don't, we are _never _speakin' of this again, agreed?"

She smiled slyly, "Agreed. Come on, it can't be that bad…I mean just think of me as a patient that you've never ever met before and you're just going over the files to check up on me. I mean, doctors do it _all _the time so it can't be that hard to detach yourself."

"Hard!? It's fuckin' impossible…_man_, I've known you since you were like fourteen or somethin'—and you're like, what? Twenty-one now?—so it's completely _normal _for me to think that this is the _weirdest _thing you've ever asked of me." He grinned wryly at her and crossed his metallic arms in front of his chest, "I mean, you've never been so _bold _about anythin' like this before and, I mean, are ya ready for it? I mean, _duh_, you should be since you're askin' me all these questions but still. Raven, you can tell me if he's bein pushy, yea? I mean, he's no nympho but I would've thought he'd have tried to jump you at least six months ago."

She shook her head, "I don't know if I'm ready yet. I _think_ I'm ready." She tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ears, "I mean, logically, if two people are in love—"

"Aw, lil' Ravie is in _lurve_ wit' her stringy green bean." He cooed humorously but he grew quiet as soon as she glared at him.

"As I was saying, if two people are in love then logically they should be able to commit with each other completely in every manner, right? Both physically and mentally." She sighed thoughtfully, "It's not like I'm physically incapable of doing it, right? I mean, technically I have to do it _some time_."

"Well, technically not _everyone _has to do it _some time_…some people just…_can't_."

Raven looked up from the table as she felt his words wrap around her mournfully and found his usually cheerful looking face looking positively bitter. Of course, she sighed, she had forgotten, how _thoughtless _of her; _he _wasn't capable, he _couldn't_—not _wouldn't_—do it and once again, she knew from the sharp jabs at her chest, it was a reminder that he was _incomplete_. She had ever asked him what had caused him to have to replace most of his bodily organs with mechanical ones—though she thought that Dick and Garfield must know. After all, one of them was trained by _Batman _in his detailed ways and the other was Vic's best friend—and all she knew about it was that he had lost his mother in the accident and had caused some strain between him and his father due to his transformation and the loss. Maybe she would ask him about it, not now, but one day…

"I'm sorry, that was a bit inconsiderate of me, I wasn't thinking." With her powers, she pieced the broken porcelain cup together, letting her gaze trace the curvaceous shape of it.

"It's OK, I mean, six years in this get-up and I'm still bitter." He chuckled, though it was hollow of all merriment, "This jus' means that I don't have to worry bout all that safe sex shit." She saw him try to laugh again but after a failed attempt, he left it at that.

She shook her head, "No, _really_, I didn't mean to remind you of…anything." Raven let her fingers cover her mouth momentarily. "Does Jinx know?"

"Well…" He mumbled sullenly, "It's a bit obvious, don'cha think?"

"Oh. Well, have you talked to her about it?"

"Nah…it's not somethin' we really touch on when we talk, ya know?"

She nodded in understanding, "Right. Well—"

"It's kinda weird coz from how I heard it, she was pretty active wit' Wally and all…like apparently they couldn't take their hands off each other and shit." He grunted at the thought, resentment towards his artificial body growing even more by the second.

"Look, Vic." She interrupted firmly, her eyes locked with his normal and mechanical one, knowing perfectly well that the red one was recording everything that she was doing right now, "You're a great guy, I mean, I personally wouldn't date you, but still. Jinx knows this and she probably doesn't even care about you not being able to do it. If she did, she would've said something to you by now, or she would've broken up with you. So, you shouldn't worry about anything like that, it's not healthy to worry too much."

He laughed, "Hah! Says the person who worries about everything."

"_Well_, Victor Stone, I think it comes with the whole empathic thing." She shot back, "And as you kindly pointed out earlier…you don't have to worry about the whole safe sex thing. You don't even have to worry about getting someone knocked up." She smirked not too kindly.

"Great, coz that makes me feel _so much better, _lil' Miss Doom-and-Depression." He laughed and she smiled as she found _some _sincere glee amongst all his other emotions. He leaned forward to ruffle the top of her hair roughly, "You're really weird, ya know that?"

"Don't push it."

He grinned at her malicious tone and she closed her eyes momentarily as her empathic strands swam through the atmosphere of this room; it was a strange atmosphere filled with curiosity, bitterness, protectiveness, awkwardness and even happiness but it was better than feeling nothing at all. Without the emotions—even if the others didn't feel it in the atmosphere—this room would just be a kitchen with appliances and it wouldn't feel as comfortable as it did now and she would miss it, she would miss it _a lot_. Not just the kitchen, but the whole tower and all the memories and emotions it emanated. There was a saying that good things always came to an end and so far, she didn't want to believe it, especially since the _good thing _in mind was her family.

Sigh.

Vic disrupted her thoughts suddenly, "Raven, what the hell is takin' Gar so long, wouldn't he have come down by now?"

"Oh." She felt a little sheepish inside, but she maintained her cool composure, "_That_. Well, I think it's going to take him a little while longer."

"Huh!? How come?"

"Well…knowing him," Raven rolled her eyes at the thoughts that suddenly came to her head, "he would probably get a little distracted by looking at my underwear—he thinks I don't know that he does it, but I'm not completely senseless—and by all the magical amulets I keep in my room, so he'll probably be in there for a while." Suddenly, she smiled, "And, well, there's also the fact that…" she let her words trail off.

He cocked a brow at her, his face grim, "Raven, what did you do? Ya don't have one of your nasty creatures from Nevermore in there, do ya?"

"Oh no…nothing like that." A devious look suddenly lit up on her face as she turned to look at the door, "Well, it's just that the book doesn't exist, that's all."

"The book doesn't…?" He suddenly burst out laughing, his whole face lighting up with the amusement that she genuinely felt from him, the whole reverberating because of it, "Man, you're _way _too smart to be his girlfriend."

She shrugged nonchalantly, and let the small smirk she had on her lips grow into a gentle smile, "I know, Vic. Don't worry about it, I know."

**A/N: So...what did you think?**

**Oh...I know that it's a bit mish mash but I hope you guys got the gist of it!**

**Love you all and I hope I see you next time!**


	8. Just like old times

**A/N: Hellooooo! :waves enthusiastically: How are you all? Not missing me too much, I hope!**

**:giggles:**

**So, anyway, I'm sorry I haven't updated in two million years (don't worr the story's not on hiatus) but I've just been enjoying the last days of my summer (a little TOO much, but if anyone's asking, I had a great time in Bali) and am now (begrudgingly) back at school for the 2nd week.**

**So, yes, I've finally updated and I hope you guys like it.**

**Read and review please!**

**Chapter 8**

So...

A pale lacy grey bra.

Hmmmm…

With a matching pair of pale lacy gray panties.

Hmmmmmmmm…

Garfield picked up the bra in his hands and stretched it out a bit, pulling at the lace trimmings while his mind wandered around carelessly, imagining what Raven would look like in this particular bra; she wasn't that well endowed—he had to admit, and so did she…begrudgingly of course—but he thought that she was probably a knock out in this matching pair. He knew beforehand that she had a lot of plain underwear—mostly in black, white or beige-y colours—with no embellishments on them, so it was a surprise to find this particular pair. His mind created a vague image of his girlfriend in this getup, her skin pressed against his, her hair messed up and her perfectly shaped lips whispering his name in that really, _really _sexy way…

Suddenly his uniform felt really, _really _tight and uncomfortable _down there_…

Uh-oh.

_Great_…

He felt his cheeks redden in embarrassment and he hastily stuffed all her underwear back into her wardrobe, shutting it harshly. He leaned on the doors of the wardrobe for a while, his breathing heavy and his forehead damp with sweat.

_Dude_, he thought to himself sharply, so _not _cool! He was here to find Raven's book and nothing else…_nothing else_!

He tried to regain his rein on his mind, erasing the—he gulped to himself—_impure _thoughts and replacing them with…with…with—he scrambled his mind for anything else he could think of…_anything_!—meat and ended up feeling a bit nauseated by the choice of subject he chose to place in his mind.

He _sucked _at this!

Slowly, he moved his way to her bookshelf, steeling himself away from all the interesting looking trinkets that were bound to send him either to somewhere he _really _didn't want to go or would endanger his life even though his hands itched to poke at them randomly and to press buttons he knew that he shouldn't push. He paused for a while as a round gem with engravings in it seemed to glitter quite attractively but he thought better of it; better to ask Raven what the hell it was before he had his limbs torn off and he wasn't even _sure _whether it would be Raven or the pretty gem that would tear them off.

Sigh.

His fingers traced the spines of each book he found on her bookshelf, dragging his forefinger slowly against the different textures that the books gave him. There were a lot of books in her shelf and surprisingly—he mused as he read the titles carefully—a whole lot of different genres…and not all of them were dark and meaningful and just downright depressing…if he had a longer attention span, he thought that he might feel the need to read one of these books. There were some literary classics—Jane Eyre, Sherlock Holmes, Don Quixote, etc—but there were a couple of chick books—which Gar knew that she would be embarrassed by if he ever confronted her about them—amongst the more serious and dark dystopian—her favourite genre for God knows what reason!—and some seriously funny books—'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' being one of them. God bless Douglas Adams and his sheer genius—but the most surprising types were in comic book form.

Yes, you heard the man right; comic book form.

Comic books.

_Comic books_!

A grin formed on his lips as he carefully read the spines of each graphic novel, momentarily picking out the ones he knew and the ones that looked quite interesting to read. There were _a lot_ and her collection made his mouth hurt from grinning too much but evidently her favourite graphic novel author was Alan Moore by the sheer fact that they were the most tattered and pages of the comics were practically falling out. Raven didn't seem to be someone who needed visual aid to help her unveil a story in her mind, she seemed to be someone who swallowed words by the dozens, but he was glad that he could see this more—he would've said _light hearted _but though Alan Moore's comics had their funny moments, there was nothing light hearted about them—_un_serious side of her in the form of her favourite media, conveyed in thin pieces of paper.

He shook his head; he was getting distracted again.

He licked his dry lips cautiously and looked slowly at each and every leather bound book that he found on the shelf, occasionally picking out the ones that had no titles on their spines to see if there was red fabric concealed beneath the covers. One by one, he inspected every book that he could find that may suit the descriptions given to him by her but not one of them fit; she had many bookshelves with many similar books but none—not one!—was the right one.

Sigh.

Maybe he wasn't looking as hard as he should be looking, or maybe she had been mistaken and that it didn't look like what she had said it looked like or maybe she had misplaced it. Another sigh escaped his chest and he realised that he was tired; crime slowed down a bit since Dick had come back but now it happened everyday and it was always one single major event that caused everyone's breath to speed up when the adrenaline had started pumping but when it faded away, the exhaustion kicked in like there was no tomorrow. Gar had always thought that the Titans needed a holiday but Dick was never one to listen to his advice and he probably wasn't going to start now.

Without a thought, he scrambled onto her bed with intentions to take a nap—what!? It wasn't like Raven would miss him too much!—and snuggled his head deeply into her incense-scented pillows. His eyelids felt heavy and eventually they fell closed and the comforting darkness that usually accompanied sleep was all that he was capable of seeing, though sometimes annoying purple dots would appear in front of him, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut until they disappeared. Her bed was soft and comforting, with her scent clearly still on it and it helped that it was an extremely wide bed—wider than his anyway—which allowed him to stretch out all he liked.

Life was good.

Well, as good as a cosy bed that smelled like Raven, anyway.

His fingers scrambled to grab the pillow from underneath, clawing at the spongy material of the pillow so that he had a firm grip on it. His fingers wriggled underneath idly as he tried to get some shut-eye and he was surprised when he felt a piece of card—no! _Two _pieces of card—where his fingers lay. Curiously, he slid them out to see what they were and to figure out why Raven of all people would have pieces of card under her pillow and _also _to see if this was something that he could tease her about.

He _loved _teasing her.

It was a fact, simple as that. He just _loved _getting under her skin when she least expected it. He _loved _the way that she would lose control of her facial expressions for that mere second that he had made fun of her and it would remind him that she was human too—well, partially anyway—and she too was prone to the little twitch at the corner of her mouth when she got really, _really _pissed.

As he slid the cards out, he felt the sleek, glossiness of the upper side of the card and the coarser texture of the lower, his mind stashing these details for him to guess what they were. When they were finally pulled out of its confinements in the most comfortable of all pillows, he felt like choking with laughter and astonishment at the very same time and he wasn't sure whether or not he was more surprised about the fact that she actually owned any of these or that she had actually kept them.

He felt the corner of his lips tug uncontrollably into a grin, a huge one at that.

They were photos of them…no, not of just him and her exclusively—though to be completely honest, he wouldn't have minded if he found photos of them two together…he had _loads _of those and she didn't seem to have any—but of the whole team. The first one was a quite recent photo of them without their uniforms and was set in the Common Room and they all looked quite…content and—_well_—grownup, in a sense. From what he remembered of their earlier days, it was quite different from how they were; they held themselves different—with more confidence, if his somewhat nonexistent analytical skills were anything to go by—and they seemed more settled in than before, as if they now knew how things worked around the place and what they're true purposes were. Of course there were the major, quite obvious changes that even he—the resident idiot, as they all perceived him to be—noticed; Dick's arm was firmly around Kori's shoulder and she had lain her head on his as they sat close to each other—practically glued to the hip—they had all grown physically both in muscle and in height—though, to be completely honest, Garfield doubted that Raven had grown since the team first got together, but he wasn't saying that in front of her face. No _frickin'_ way—Vic's generous smiles never changed but Gar thought that he looked more comfortable with his mechanic self and he also noted that Raven was actually _smiling _even with him sitting next to her.

Not bad, Gar, not bad.

He turned to the other picture carelessly and found his chest sting numbly with reminisce; he liked this picture even _better _than the other picture. This photo was similar in the way that it was also a group photo of them but this time it was of them when they had just gotten together and _boy _was they young, he didn't even really remember _looking _like that. This time though, they were still in their uniforms—Nightwing still being Robin and Kori still in her…um…more _modest _uniform—and they all obviously lacked the height and build that they gained nowadays and they all lacked the comfort that they had now in each other's company and so everything looked a little bit stiff between them—especially Raven, she still had her mean face one. But both he and Kori looked quite comfortable though to be fair, Vic looked like he was warming up to the others too—and even all not sure whether or not they could trust each other.

The actual picture wasn't what made him like the photo though, it was Raven's annotations and side notes she had put on the actual photo, describing what she had thought of all of them back then. It was done in a dark blue marker and in her incredibly neat and cursive handwriting that was quite difficult to decipher but what he made out was pretty damn hilarious. There was a _huge _arrow pointing at Robin and writing next to it that said:

"_The supposed leader of our team. A paranoid, neurotic, control freak. Probably not as bad as Batman but who is?"_

Another arrow pointed at Cyborg that proclaimed:

"_Insecure but _very _loud. Oldest out of everyone and thankfully someone who I'm able to hold a decent conversation with. Has a slight tendency to obsess over meat, though."_

The one pointing Starfire said:

"_Alien airhead, overly happy and overly nice. Also a foreigner to Earth and she seems to be eager to adopt a lot of Earth customs and introduce a lot of Tamaranian ones. Loves mustard…as a drink." _

And last but not least, there was a humongous arrow around him with the words encircled in red pen:

"_Idiot."_

As much as he wanted to be offended by this word, he couldn't really sum up any feeling of insult, really, because—to be completely honest—he was glad that it wasn't anything worse.

He stared at the two pictures for a moment, comparing them with each other and laughing to himself as memories popped into his mind suddenly; their family was so unorthodox that nothing normal ever really came out of it, and he was glad that it didn't. Normality was never gonna come out of a group of people who paraded in spandex costumes day in and day out.

Suddenly he felt a bit wary of the pictures and stuck them back under the pillow. He didn't know why he suddenly felt bad looking at them but he knew that it had something to do with the current structure of their team; they were all comfortable with each other, alright, but there was something surging out of all the comfort and familiarity that reminded him all too well of the uncertainty and the distrust that were conveyed in the photo of their younger selves. It was all too vague for him to decipher and so he left it at that, in the back of his mind for later.

He sighed while he hopped off the bed hastily, rubbing down the front of his trousers subconsciously. There was no use trying to nap now with thoughts randomly coming into his mind, he needed to get out and get himself distracted somehow.

Yes, a distraction…that would do him some good.

He thought about taking another good look at her bookshelf but thought better of it and scrambled out of her room and into the bright corridors of the Tower. He considered the corridors for a moment as he walked through them, his feet pacing themselves evenly, there were many corridors in the Tower and only five of them actually living in this building and more often than not, they always found themselves walking through these halls alone. It would be different when they all left, they would all have their own little cosy places and then it would be like living in one huge corridor.

Now, _that _was not a pleasant thought.

He whistled a song—_Your Body is a Wonderland _by John Mayer…good song—casually as he found himself walking without a destination. Suddenly his ears perked up, twitching uncontrollably as they picked up a couple of voices coming from the rooms that were laid into the walls of the corridors. The voices, they were…familiar and at this distance, incomprehensible but…from what he could hear, they sounded quite heated.

With curiosity now grabbing onto the reins of his physical body, he walked towards where the sounds were coming from, his footsteps growing faster every second that the voices grew louder. He didn't know what possessed him to follow the voices, but deep down he knew that the pitch in the voices were too varied to be something unimportant or at least it told him that it was important to them, whoever _them _was.

Finally, he found himself slowing down as the voices became clearer, and he was actually able to understand whatever they were saying. The voices were coming from Dick's personal study in which he did all his research—_cough_: obsessing—on the villains they encountered, or even on unfamiliar heroes. Clearly, it was two people, and he was pretty sure that inside was Kori and Dick but…

His ears jerked towards the sound and he found himself unwillingly stopping at the door, even though he knew that…one, it was wrong to poke at other people's privacy and two, Dick would totally jump-kick his ass if he found out that he had listened at their conversation.

…the words that they spoke to each other, they sounded_ angry_.

Kori and Dick were_ never _angry with each other…OK…that was a lie but…they were never _mutually _angry with each other. It was always one or the other, never both and now…now the words that he was hearing were sharp and spiteful and he could imagine that if he was in the room right now, he'd be able to see them both glaring daggers at each other.

"…indecent? _Indecent_!?" Kori's already high-pitched voice screeched; you didn't need his sensitive hearing to be able to hear _that _through the thick walls, "I do not need someone who used to dress in the most vulgar colours to call me _indecent_!"

Gar couldn't help but snigger but then again, _that _coming from your girlfriend?

_Ouch_.

"You were wearing next to nothing! This was a shoot for the fucking _spring _issue and you were prancing around in a mini skirt and a tank top that hid _nothing_! For the love of God, Kori, I could see _everything_!" He could hear Dick grate his teeth together in frustration, "The photographer could fucking barely hold it together!"

Kori emitted a sound that sounded like a cross between a groan and a curse, "You did not have to punch the lights of day out of him! He did not do anything!" He heard her sigh, "Now he must think that I am such a klorbag and that he will be telling all his colleagues in this business that I am nothing but a worthless_ brol _who is spoiled and cannot do her job right. I will not be able to get any jobs, Dick!"

"You don't need a job! You're a Titan!" He grunted, "Plus the guy had it coming anyway, I saw how he was touching you when he was _'showing you how to pose'_."

"I will be needing a job when we separate, Dick! And I like this job; it makes me feel more human."

The stench of aggravation hit his nostrils sharply and he recoiled from the door a bit before continuing to listen to their argument.

"You don't have to _'feel more human'_! You _aren't _human!"

There was a sound that sounded like someone had staggered and he wasn't sure who it was. Apart from that, no sound came from the room and it was as if they were both so shocked at what he had just said that they were both incapable of saying anything else.

Dick broke the silence, "I…I didn't mean to—"

A flash of green light shone was seen through the cracks in the door and the sounds of furniture breaking made Garfield jump; boy was she pissed.

"You tell me what to do and then you insult me!? I do not understand this course of action and I do not like it." He imagined her with her eyes glowing neon green, "I do not like it at all."

Garfield shuddered upon hearing her tone of voice…it was just so…_cold_. Kori's voice was never like that…there was always some sort of feeling her voice no matter how she was feeling and now that it was devoid of any feeling…it freaked him out.

Badly.

"_You _have _no _right to tell me what to do. _You _do not have _any _control over what I decide to do.And _you _have _no _right to punch someone just because they look at me."

"I have _every_ right!" _Oooh, _bad move there Wonder Boy, "I am your _boyfriend _and if someone's getting a hard-on because he's checking out _my _girlfriend's ass then, _yes_, I have _every _right!"

Dick had a point, if he caught anyone checkin' out Raven, he'd probably punch the living daylights out of them too.

The smell of smouldering wood sent his head spinning and he moved to walk away from the room and to just go off and mind his own business, but a nagging feeling cemented his feet to the spot. It sometimes _sucked _to be so instinctive.

Kori's voice popped up again, "I am not a…a…_thing _that can be commanded!" A worrying crunch was heard almost simultaneously, "I…appreciate…" her voice had calmed down a bit, but not by much, "that you are trying to _protect_ me," she said the word _protect _almost as if it was a disgrace, and Garfield figured that to her warrior-like culture, it might've been, "but I do not need you to be criticizing everything that I do that does not concern you. I am my own person, boyfriend Dick and I intend on continuing to be so; we Tamaranians do not rely on anyone and I do not intend to start now." Her words were slow, as if doubting her ability in the English language and doubting Dick's ability to comprehend what she was saying, "I did not say anything when you went to Gotham without telling us _why_ you went."

"Raven told you that—"

"She _lied_." Even though Kori sounded angry, he had a strange inkling that she wasn't angry at _Raven_, more that she was angry that Dick had used Raven to cover up for him, more that she was angry that he didn't tell her the truth, "We are not _all _fools to believe that you would go back to Gotham because the Batman needed help against a villain there. We all know that he would not have you shirk your responsibilities for his own and that even if he needed help, he had the Batgirl to help him."

Garfield heard the sharp intake of breath that seemed to belong to Dick and though it was faint, the sound of his heart strummed quickly in some sort of panicked state and there was a moment of silence in which neither one of them dared to breathe. He understood why Kori was—metaphorically—holding her breath, she was waiting for him to answer her statement but Dick? What was _he _waiting for? Clearly Kori had struck a chord there—a _really _sensitive one, at that—but _which _chord? Dick was quick to anger, sure, but not when he consciously knew that he was at fault. If only he could get closer and take in his scent and listen to his heartbeat's pace, if only he had Raven's empathic powers to help him decipher the situation.

"Keep Gotham _out of this_." A hiss, definitely a hiss, hiss in the shape of Dick's voice, "It has nothing to do with what we were talking about."

"What?" There was her voice again, light and twinkly but at the same time, totally not, "You think that the Gotham does not have anything to do with…_this_?" A bone crunching fist-clench was heard, "Let me do the rephrasing. It is not that trip that causes concern but your reason and this…this _reason_…proves the point that I am trying to make. You cannot do the monopoly of my life if I am not allowed to do the monopoly of yours. I did not question your reasons even though I knew that you were doing the lying through your teeth and I did not even _think _to question it!" He could imagine her with her fists clenched, her shoulders quivering in anger and her auburn ringlets falling from side to side as she shook her head, "By x'hal, for all I know, you could've been with some flame of old, some…some…_vorknih_!"

Truthfully, Garfield had _no _idea what the Tamaranian word meant but by the tone of her voice, he was willing to bet that it ran along the lines of _hussy_, _slut_, _whore_…you know how it went. It couldn't be true though, it couldn't, right? This was Dick they were talking about after all, and Dick was never to stray away in _that way_, never was one to take anything for granted and throw it away for something that was worth less.

It couldn't be true…

There was a tense moment, so tense that he could feel it from where he was standing—which was in front of the door—and the hairs on his arms stood on their ends. If they weren't in a relationship, Garfield figured that they would be at each other's throats right now, trying to see who could rip the other ones' throat out faster.

…could it?

"Don't you dare—!" Dick warned, his voice becoming a guttural growl, "It's different. This is different!" The normally totally composed leader was going nuts…_wacko_, "It's not the same!"

Kori had always had the smooth and innocent sounding voice—in contrast with Raven's rough and sensual voice—but the anger had twisted it to become something entirely different, "Different? How is it different? Does this mean that I do not have to tell you about what _I _do in the midst of my job? Or that you do not need to follow me around to my jobs as if you were going to kill anyone who was looking at me!?" A perturbed grumble escaped her lips and once again, she sounded like she was grinding her perfectly white teeth against each other, "And don't I dare _what_!?" She mocked him—personally, he had never heard this tone of voice from her before—and there were footsteps that made it seem like she was walking towards him and towering over him in all her statuesquely fierce beauty, "Accuse you of _lying _to me? Or _using _Raven to lie to me? Or even accusing you of going off with a little _vorknih_?"

"You don't understand!"

"Of course I do not understand! I thought we were best friends, Dick, but now you do not tell me _anything _and ever since you've come back you still have not mentioned anything about your trip. It is like you do not want me to know about it and I cannot help but be jumping to the worst of conclusions!" Heavy breathing ensued, "So _why, _Dick Grayson, have you not told me the truth? _Why_?"

"As you stated before," Dick started slowly, "we have no right to intrude on each others' individual lives."

"You are putting my words back into my mouth." Kori replied with some degree of disgust, "So I am right, then? You have been seeing a vorknih behind my back in Gotham. Am I not good enough for you!?"

"Don'tcall her that—!" Garfield's mouth dropped open and he figured that Kori must be shocked too and Dick must be trying to compose, "I mean, it's not what you think. There _is _no her."

There was a tortured sounding shriek, almost inhumane but devoid of anything other than pain and anger. Another furniture crash was heard and a flash of neon green light sparked again through the gaps of in the door, the sound of struggle filling Garfield's painfully sensitive ears. He didn't know who he felt sorrier for; for Kori who just had confirmation that her boyfriend had cheated on her or for Dick who was probably getting the shit kicked out of him. Actually, maybe he should feel sorry for himself, just in case he was discovered, y'know.

"Tell me it is not true." Slow but sure, the words were sandpaper to Garfield's ears, "Tell me that you do not really insult me by doing this course of action, by doing what I had suspected you have done." A growl, "Do. Not. Insult. Me."

"I have done _nothing _wrong." Dick persisted, his face probably currently carved out of stone, his eyes empty and hard, "_Nothing_."

There must've been something, something in his face that only Kori could see that told her that he was lying because the next thing he knew, she was swearing in Tamaranian, or at least he guessed that she was swearing by the tone of her voice.

"You mean to insult me. You truly mean to insult me. I have done _nothing _but love you—!"

Cold, too cold, "It is not my business if you believe me or not but I'm telling the truth. You obviously are guilty of something if you insist on accusing me of cheating on you." Freezing, "Hooked up with one of your photographer friends, have you?" He leered.

"How _dare _you accuse _me _of such a thing!?" In contrast with Dick's voice, hers was all fire, all heat, "You_ know _that I would never do such a thing! You _know _it!" Blazing, "And here you are treating me like I am a _vorknih_. Here you are treating me like a _troq_!"

"Well, if I truly knew what _you _would do then _you _would know that I have done no such thing but it doesn't seem like it, does it?"

"I trusted you and you—!"

The swearing started again, this time louder, harsher but then again, it sounded more desperate, like she didn't know what else she could do to mend the situation, like she wanted to hold on to whatever they shared. Garfield never thought that this would happen, that there would be a big bust up between the two…nothing _this _big, anyway. Kori and Dick were two halves of a whole; the diamond to his cufflinks, the butterfly to her flower, the ocean to his shore, the…the…radioactive berries to her Silkie. From the moment they had met, the rest of the team knew that despite all the dancing around each other, the miscommunications and the cultural misfit, Kori and Dick were meant for each other.

Dick cut her off, "I don't need this. I've said what I've said and it's the truth and if you don't believe me then it's your call." A forced sigh was heard, "Maybe we need a break from each other. Vic seemed to do a pretty good job before; nothing was too bad." Garfield didn't understand what he was getting at, but at the silence that Kori was emanating she either understood completely and was shocked into silence or she was still digesting the information just like he was, "I'm going."

That did it.

Garfield knew what Dick was getting at.

And he was pretty sure that she knew too; it was silent, but he knew it was one of shock and not of slow-mindedness.

It didn't make sense, Dick did not just give up and go…no…Dick always stayed and did the best he could…Dick never left his obligations—his responsibilities…his duties!—for something as petty as this.

Then again, it wasn't really petty—well, OK, the reason was petty enough that it seemed pathetic but still—it must've impacted both of them quite a bit. It must've! They had, after all, been dating since Japan, since their teen years and they had never, ever—at least not in his hearing anyway—argued like this, they had never separated from each other, never taken a break from their relationship. But now…now…

…Dick was going back to Gotham and for God knows how long this time.

He was no shrink—he didn't think he'd be smart enough or stupid enough to be a shrink—but he knew his friends well enough that he knew that seeing Dick's absence as just a mere hurdle. It would impact them one by one and like dominos they would fall. Oh, he was sure that Kori would take it the hardest but he also knew that everyone else would feel the strain of it; Vic would feel the strain of leadership and authority, Gar would feel the strain of friendship ties and brotherly bonds and Raven…God…Raven…

His eyes widened at the revelation that he had just worked out in his head.

Raven would feel _everyone's _strain and carry it as her own.

Damn those empathic powers!

Suddenly the door slid open to reveal a _very _pissed off looking Dick and everything about him just reeked of tension; his hands were clenched by his side so tightly that veins were literally popping out, the corners of his mouth pulled downwards uncomfortably and his scent was of an animal that had just gotten into a fight and lost. He took a swift look at Garfield—while Gar tried to look as casual and non-nosey as possible—and stopped; his crystal blue eyes hardening by the second.

"How long have you been standing there?" It was a single question but it sent shivers down his spine.

Garfield stepped back slowly, "What!? _No_…_Dude_, I would never listen to other people's private conversations. _Me_? _No way_…"

His lame excuse trailed off as Dick glared at him venomously. So, OK, it wasn't the best excuse in the world but it was still pretty believable right?

Dick's glare hardened even more and Garfield felt as if he would be better off being swallowed up by the ground right this minute.

Well, OK, it totally sucked.

Time for a different tactic, "Look, Dick, you can't really be serious bout goin' back to Gotham, can you?

"As serious as I can be, Gar." Dick sighed.

"No, _dude_, you and Kori can work it out. You don't need to go back to the Bats…you _can't _go back to the Bats." He screwed up his face in attempts to make him look more serious than his face let him, "What are we supposed to do without you, eh? The Titans don't work out well without you. What's Kori gonna do? Are you seriously gonna leave her like this?"

He shrugged and it almost looked casual if not for the tight knots in his shoulder, making them tense up quite threateningly, "The Titans will be fine without me, Vic's a good leader." There was no mention of Kori in that single sentence.

"I'm not sayin' that Vic isn't a good leader, Dick, but _you're _our leader, not Vic." He said lamely, knowing full well that none of this was getting to Dick, "And what about Kori? You didn't ask my question. She's goin' to be fuckin' miserable and you're goin' to leave her just like that? _Dude_, even _I'm _not that insensitive and I'm pretty much a screw up in that department."

A few tense moments passed between them, building already on the uneasy—but close—relationship they had with each other. Garfield found himself distracted by the rather quick beating of Dick's heart and he shifted uneasily, it was at these times that he found himself wishing he had normal human characteristics. Dick's dark brows furrowed briefly, causing waves of frown marks on his forehead and his dark—non-spiked; he had stopped spiking it as soon as he perceived himself as an adult and transformed into Nightwing—hair moved slightly downwards as the frown grew deeper. He took a whiff of the air and wrinkled his nose at the scent of distrust and anger and he found himself kinda—in a weird, really twisted way—in awe of the calm that Dick presented in his facial features and though some of the frustration escaped through the cracks, you _really _couldn't see by his face that he smelled _really _gross.

"If this is about Raven, then don't worry." He ignored the question about Kori again, "I'll keep everything under control, I promise."

Garfield gritted his teeth, wanting to protest that he couldn't possibly keep his emotions under check if his life depended on it. It wasn't a good idea to aggravate when he was in a good mood and it was even worse when he was in a bad one…_way _worse.

"This isn't about—" he paused, knowing that he'd be lying if he told Dick that this wasn't about Raven, it was partially about her but not fully, "Dude, we still need you to solve the fires. They've slowed, but they're still there." Another lame excuse for him to stay.

Garfield knew that Dick's mind was made up and nothing he said would change that. Kori would, but Dick was refusing to think about Kori and so there was nothing Gar could do about it. If there _really _was another girl then maybe even Kori would affect his decision, maybe whoever she was, was more important than Kori was, than the team was. But who would be such a person…?

"Dick, you don't really have another girl, do you?"

Silence greeted him but there was something about the silence that bothered him, it wasn't so much of a confirmation but…his expression was that of confusion and he smelt it too, "I…it's nothing like that, Gar. It's just a bit complicated." He shook his head sullenly, "Trust me on this, 'kay?"

There was something in that that made Garfield growl in distrust and though he had been completely keeping his cool for the last couple of minutes that he had been confronted by Dick, he felt that Dick's calm was infuriatingly unfeeling, even with all the emotions being smelt here and there. He knew he shouldn't feel so…_bothered_… about the situation, but he couldn't help it. Here, Dick was jeopardizing the team by leaving them for Gotham of all places! For some girl that he had an affair with while Kori had been worried _sick _about him! For something so petty that, really, it shouldn't affect them…but it did.

"Dude, you know what? You're bein' such a dick right now, it's not even funny." He ground his teeth together and felt his fangs conflicting with each other, "_It's complicated_? _Trust me_? That's _all _you can say? You're leaving your team mates…your friends…and _that's all you can say_? _Man_, I thought better of you when you were all weird and freaky and OCD bout Slade than I do now."

"Gar—"

Garfield cut him off before he could say anything that would disrupt his tirade, "Who the hell do you think you are!? So, OK, you're like the frickin' leader of the Teen Titans but you're not actin' like it. You're actin' like a kid with a frickin' tantrum, y'know that? I mean, yea, _Raven _might sympathise with you but that's coz you're in her frickin' head 24/7 and the rest of us aren't, OK? So we don't know what the fuck you're thinkin' and why the hell the world's second smartest detective would be leavin' us." He growled menacingly, "And do you know why? Because it's stupid, it's a stupid act and you know it."

The calm was still there and so was the smell of anger, but this time the scent of shock also accompanied his other bodily odours. It was so overpowering that Garfield felt like gagging, but he knew it wouldn't help if he was to stand his ground. Garfield was known to be melodramatic, but he didn't blow up a lot and this must've made Dick's complicated mind blank, as if he didn't know what to do with Garfield's outburst.

"As much as I appreciate your _concern_, Garfield, I'm still going to go." His voice was ice again, "I'll be seeing you in a few weeks."

And with that, Dick turned around and left, leaving a completely flabbergasted Garfield standing stock still while he watched his _friend _walk stiffly towards his own room. He couldn't believe it, Dick just did what Gar thought that he could never do; he just upped and left. Just like that, no hesitation, no _ummmsss _and _aaaahhhss_ to change his mind, no thought for Kori. It was like his mind had been set that way from the moment the argument had started. All he had with Dick was respect and friendship and now he wasn't even sure if he had one or the other, or if both of them had vanished through his fingers.

Without a second thought on Dick, he turned and entered the study, curious and cautious to how Kori would be feeling, how she would look. The room looked horrible; there were scorch marks on the ground and on some of the furniture and there were also signs of struggle from the scattered papers around the room. If this wasn't caused by Kori, he would've totally found this hella funny.

But it wasn't.

Well it kinda was…

He suddenly spotted Kori.

…OK, no it wasn't.

"Kor?" He mumbled quietly, "Kor? Kori?" He was louder this time but she still didn't budge, "It's Gar."

This time she did move, if only a millimetre. Kori was kneeling lamely on the floor, her flaming red hair raggedly knotted, her hands in her lap and her skin had lost the golden sheen that it usually had…but that wasn't the worst, what was worse was her eyes. It was a cliché alright, but a precise one at that; her normally bright peridot eyes lost the awe and optimism that made it so mesmerising and instead her eyes drooped sadly at the corners and they weren't nearly as round as they usually were…these might seem petty to someone who didn't know her that well but Gar had known her for a long time and well, she was pretty much in shock.

He moved in closer, close enough to hear her murmur softly, "Gar?"

Even in this distressed state, she was beautiful, but in a way that was wrong. He wanted to make things right but he knew he couldn't, the only person that could make things right was Dick and he was off in God knows where.

"Yea, it's me Kor. You OK?" Stupid question, that was a _totally _stupid question.

"Where…where is Dick?" She choked and he saw that her cheeks were glistening prettily with tears, "I must…where is Dick, friend Garfield?"

He shook his head and knelt next to her, "I don't know Kor."

A shudder ran through her body and a sob escaped her lips. Her scent was strong but he didn't need to smell her to know that she felt angry, betrayed but then again, a little lost at the same time. He thought about doing The Face but thought better of it, even with his best jokes, he knew that she wouldn't laugh…he was probably right to say that _Raven _would laugh before Kori did in this state. That made him sad, he loved Kori to bits and would miss her laughter…it wasn't like she was gonna die but still…

"He is gone, is he not? He is gone." The last bit was a statement, not a question. Kori knew as well as he did that Dick's word was law.

He didn't answer and instead he let himself stretch out before he felt the strange sensations of fur growth, bone crunching and muscles adapting. He hissed and screeched as the process happened in as little as seconds but then finally mewed contently while moving his tail from side to side slowly. His whiskers touched her arms gently and he purred when she didn't respond. When she still didn't move, he nudged his nose at the crook of her arms and felt the warmth surge and concentrate at that one area. Finally, after what seemed like ages, she opened up her arms to let him sit on her lap and his purrs and mews encouraged her to stroke him, even if it was absently.

A tear dropped on his fur and he hissed shortly at the wetness of it, "He is gone…I cannot bear it. Gar, I do not know what I have done but…but he is gone…" She continued to mutter to herself, occasionally switching to Tamaranian, interrupted by fits of hiccups and sobs.

The cat mewed once again as he felt her fingers trace the skin of his back; this was the only way he knew how to comfort her and he hoped that she felt a little bit better because Garfield Mark Logan was _no _pro at fixing things.

He sucked at it.

**A/N: So...howwas it? Did you like it? And do you REALLY think that Dick would cheat on Kori?**

**cheeky grin**

**Only I know the real answer to that!**

**teehee.**

**So thanks for reading and I hope to see you guys again real soon!**

**Ciao!**


	9. A good old friend of mine said

**A/N: Hello! Greetings!**

**:waves:**

**How are you all? Enjoying life? Hope so!**

**:grin:**

**Well, anyway, I'm sorry for taking so long to update again...I SWEAR I haven't gone all AWOL and hiatus-like...it's just that life's been a bit hectic with this being my senior year of high school and all PLUS the fact that I'm doing the IB and KICKING myself for doing it.**

**I mean, when you take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon then sleep before 10pm and then perceive that day to be the best day of your life, then it must mean there's something wrong with the IB right?**

**_Right..._**

**I've also, though I have no idea why anyone would want to know, have been rediscovering old, cheesy music. Anyone heard of "Eye to Eye" by Tevin Campbell? A Goofy Movie ring any bells?**

**Exactly. Cheesy jammin', y'all!**

**So, anyway, enjoy it OK?**

**Don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 9**

"Dude, what are we gonna _do_?" Gar turned to his best friend as they watched over Kori.

Vic shook his head slowly, "Dunno man. Dick and Kori have never had a fight since, like, forever."

After what seemed to be an hour of endless crying and sobbing, Gar had taken the liberty of carrying her back to her room—_man_, she was heavy!—and throughout the tiring, albeit short, journey Kori had been in some kind of—he frowned as a word tried to intrude into his mind—catatonic state and it was as if someone had pushed the shutdown button on her and she had barely moved except to help him slide her down onto her bed. After that she had closed her eyes straightaway, probably exhausted after all the heated arguments and the heartbreak.

_Poor kid_, he had thought to himself as he first watched her steady breathing and her flickering eyelids, _I hope that _never_ happens to me._

After making sure that Kori wasn't going to wake up anytime soon and would stay in her—hopefully—sweet slumber, he hopped out of her room and went down to find Raven. He really hadn't known what to expect but he had steeled himself for the worst because he knew that she would smell of Dick for quite a bit, at least until the idiot had decided to calm himself down.

He snarled briefly at the thought of Dick fuckin' Grayson.

When he had finally found her—glaring at nothing in particular—she was actually in a _way _better mood than he thought she'd be in, and she smelt a whole lot better too. There was that distinct scent that belonged to Dick but it was muted somehow, as if she was refusing to let his emotions into her. She was still in the kitchen with Vic and—Gar sniggered briefly at this thought—Vic was panicking ever so slightly, pointing at her while silently screaming for help to Garfield, probably freaking out and thinking that he had done something to Raven and made her all extra-pissy and immobile-like.

It would've so totally been funny if he wasn't so pissed off then.

He had then shooed Vic away to tend to Kori while he tried—_tried _being the imperative word here—to sort out Raven but found that talking to her in this state was like talking to himself…except weirder. She just sat there, glaring pointedly at nothing with her dark brows furrowed together furiously; she seemed to be having a battle of wills with someone and he could only clearly guess who that was. He had sat down there with her for a while, not speaking, just inhaling her scent and occasionally pressing down at her wrist to check that her heart rate wasn't going a little crazy with all the stress Dick must've put on her. After a while, he did speak to her though; he had asked her whether or not she would be staying in his room tonight—because…well…coz…it didn't really seem right to leave her alone at such a time and he didn't really feel like being alone tonight either—and in that swift second, she had broken out of her trance-like state and had given him a funny look before quickly telling him that she'd prefer to be alone tonight so that she could sort a few things out, and with that she had just upped and left.

He frowned.

And that was how he found himself in Kori's room with Vic instead of in Raven's room…which kinda sucked. Being Raven's boyfriend seemed to be such a useless job sometimes, she didn't like _anybody _doing anything for her and so whenever he tried to help, she had always rebuffed him.

"He's bein' _such_ a fuckin' brat." Garfield seethed, "He's bein' pretty stupid for someone who _everyone _says is _so _smart." He mocked through gritted teeth.

"Man, you gotta chill. He's under a lotta pressure, that's all." Vic frowned, "He'll be back in like two secs, you'll see."

Gar growled, "I don't care if he comes back." He shook his head fervently, "I just want him to make things right and then he can fuckin' go to wherever he wants to." To emphasise his point, he pointed at Kori, "Just look at her, she's a frickin' mess and it's all _his _frickin' fault."

There was a moment of silence between the two as Kori exhaled heavily in her sleep. It was a relief, to be completely honest, he was so tense that his body hurt and the sound of her exhalation just brought him back to the real world, calming him, if only momentarily.

"Raven'll be alright."

Garfield glared at his best friend, unconsciously feeling how strongly his brows pressed against each other, "She better be or I swear I'm goin' down to fuckin' Gotham to fuckin' _eat_ his face." A disturbing image of himself as a T-rex eating Dick's head suddenly popped up in his mind and so he quickly turned to Vic, "Do you really think he has a girl back in Gotham?"

Vic remained silent for a while before slowly shaking his head doubtfully, "Nah, don't think so, man. This is Dick Grayson we're talkin' about." Vic awkwardly patted his left shoulder, "He was trained by Batman, yea, his loyalties are _always_ in the right place."

"Yea, right." He snorted dubiously, "_Loyalties_." He shook his head, not bothering to hide the tone of disgust in his words from Vic, "He _left _the Teen Titans for a week before and now he's doin' it _again_. Loyalties, my ass." Another snort, "_And _he's got some other girl."

"Dude, we don't know that."

"Yea we do, or at least Kori does and that should be enough for the _rest of us_."

Vic protested, "But Kori believes _anything _if you tell her it's true."

"Oh, yea," Gar rolled his eyes, tasting the bitter sarcasm in his mouth, "coz it _totally _sounded like he was tryin' to _convince _her that he was cheatin' on her."

"Man, ease up on the sarcasm, why don't you? I mean I'm happy for you and Raven an' all but maybe you shouldn't be spendin' so much time with her." Vic half-heartedly joked in reply, "But, seriously, we gotta give Dick the benefit of the doubt. I mean, it's not like him to go all nuts about somethin' so little."

Gar raised a brow, "It's _totally _like him. _Dude, _do you _not _remember the whole Slade episode? I mean can we say _loco_?"

"Slade was different. The guy was a bit of a nutcase."

"If you say so." Gar replied shortly, not buying a word Vic said.

Gar stopped it at that, just in case that the tender situation that enveloped Kori and Dick would touch upon him and his best friend as well. The atmosphere in itself smelled rotten and he couldn't get rid of the stench even though no one else seemed to notice, it was as if he was living in a world of his own and he was the only one feeling some kind of impending doom to it. Well, OK, it probably wasn't that bad but, seriously, if you were to judge the situation just by Kori's reaction, you'd think that the apocalypse was coming or something. Well…

He shook his head, dispelling all the negative thoughts in his head, though it took a lot of effort.

_A lot_.

As he gathered back all the positive energy he could, his gaze promptly stayed on Kori's sleeping figure; she was curled up in a ball and she looked so tender and vulnerable that it was like looking at a complete stranger…no, he facial features hadn't changed but it was just that Kori was always so _strong _and so _sure _of herself—though admittedly she did have her moments—and now she was just like…_blah_.

Ok, so _blah _technically isn't a word but no one was really checking up on his word choice right now…were they?

He slapped himself mentally; of course _not_, Raven wasn't anywhere in sight.

Hmmm…

For a second, he wondered if he should go pop back to Raven's room to check up on her but he felt that he wouldn't be that much use anyway. She was probably meditating, or in Nevermore, or whatever she did when Dick's brooding became too much for her. It sucked though, he wanted to be there for her…it wasn't like she was gonna be _that_ great of a company…but he still figured that he wanted to make her better in any way that he could and he also—admittedly—wanted her company. She had been staying in his room for a couple of nights now and he was _just _getting used to the feel of her small body tucked in his arms so closely; she was _so _warm and cuddly that it wasn't even funny.

Sigh.

Gently, he sat down on the edge of Kori's bed, hoping that she wasn't sensitive to the bed's movement. He wondered what she was dreaming about, or if she was even dreaming; he sometimes found his own mind to be blank when he was in a lot of stress, though Raven had even _more _dreams when she was getting stressed, it was funny how that worked out—well, not _funny _funny—but he thought that her dreams must be really colourful with all the emotions she receives unconsciously in her sleep and all, it must look kinda cool.

He shook his head once again, he was getting distracted again.

Well, there really wasn't any harm in getting carried away with his random thoughts, there really wasn't anything to do anyway; Kori was safe in her room, Raven was doing God knows what in her room and Vic was just helping him watch over Kori but even Vic seemed to be getting a bit bored. He was yawning quite frequently and if you watched him _really _closely, you could see his red eye fizz shakily occasionally. Boredom was never something that Garfield Logan liked experiencing and he liked it even less now, he disliked it more because it meant that he'd just get all stroppy all over again and though it would be more of an improvement to the deadpan air that shrouded them, he didn't think it would be helping anyone if he suddenly went all Beast in such a time.

"Dude, do you know what time it is?" He suddenly piped up, trying to strike some type of conversation.

Vic took a quick look at his arm and sighed, "Almost six. Why?"

"Just askin'" Garfield replied nonchalantly, "Feels later than that, y'know?"

"Yea, I know. Maybe it's coz for the past two hours we've just been watchin' her sleep." Vic grimaced and then pressed a few buttons on his arm, "I don't think she's gonna be havin' some panic attack or nothin', Gar, I've checked her and she seems to be just sleeping normally. She's dreamin' though." Gar gave him a confused look and Vic gave a rumble of a chuckle, "Means that she's not gonna be wakin' up anytime soon…I think she may be in the second phase of her dream already."

Gar raised an eyebrow and looked at the Tamaranian closer, to see the signs that indicated to Vic that she was, in fact, doing all these things. He couldn't find them though…well, he didn't really know _what _he was looking for, but she seemed normal to him; like she was sleeping, deeply…but dreaming?

He looked at her again and found her sleeping soundly, her breathing steady and with no expression on her pretty face.

He wasn't so sure.

"I don't see it." He replied, the end of the sentence lilting in a curious manner.

"That's coz you don't know what the hell you're supposed to _see_." Vic grumbled, "See how her eyelids are slightly parted?"

Gar nodded, noting that her eyelashes were the exact same colour as her flaming red hair.

Vic nodded slowly, as if a thought had just entered his mind, "You can see her eyes moving really quickly from side to side right?"

"Yea…"

"Means she's dreamin'."

Garfield looked closer at her and was quite fascinated by this fact. He wondered if she was dreaming about anything, and if she was, he hoped that it was of something pleasant; he didn't want her to have bad dreams, coz frankly, her current situation must already seem like such a nightmare to her.

He whistled softly, not really knowing what he was whistling, and stood up, away from Kori. Garfield didn't know what else he could do but he didn't know where else to go apart from here and though he prided himself for spontaneity and aimlessness, but right now a nice time table would probably make him the happiest person in the world. It was like they were in a state of limbo when just hours ago—literally!—everything was all cheery and they were arguing about the cuteness factor of the pictures of him and Raven that appeared in the _JumpGirl_ issue, teasing Vic about Jinx relentlessly and just plain having fun.

Serious arguments and absences were _such _mood spoilers.

Vic was standing by his side, his mechanical arms firmly crossed and his facial expression was that of a brotherly—or even fatherly, if you pushed it—figure being worried about a member of their family; his red eye flashed occasionally and his human brow was pushed near to the centre so it _almost _touched his mechanical—what was _that_ for anyway?—brow. That was actually the only indication of emotion that Gar was getting from his best friend, he wasn't capable of guessing what Vic felt like because, though he was still—theoretically—human, most of Vic was made from machine and so everything was always _the same_; his heartbeat was always steady—due to the artificial heart the doctors at S.T.A.R Labs put in—he never sweated and his breathing—did Vic really need to breathe?—had the same rhythm over and over again. It was one of the reasons he liked Vic; Vic made _him_ feel refreshingly _human_ and though even with his 'powers' he was still human—well technically, he was human but with a teeny tiny bit of green monkey in him. _Hey_, if it cured him of Sakutia who _cared _that he had some monkey's DNA in his own?—the fact that he could use his animalistic features to try to figure out how people were feeling made him feel…weird sometimes and though Vic didn't really appreciate his machinery, Gar loved him all the same.

Like a brother, mind you.

Totally.

"Man, just go if you want. I'll look after Kori for a while." Vic said out of the blue.

Garfield took his time in digesting this statement, "Eh?" His ears perked up slightly, "Go? Where?"

"You look like you're frickin' _dyin_' to get out of this room."

"Not dyin'." He grinned back, "Just wantin' to get out of this room _really _badly."

Vic laughed, "That was horrible. I would've thought datin' Raven would make you stop makin' such bad jokes."

"Good habits die hard, man." He chuckled in return, "Plus it wasn't _that _bad."

"Mmmhmmm."

He poked his tongue out cheekily, "You are _the _worst best friend _ever_."

"I do try, BB." His grin grew largeras he stated that, it was good to see a few smiles right now.

He sniffed the air but then stopped himself as he realised that the only scent he would be able to smell was his own and Kori's and neither would smell too nice by the way they were currently feeling. He was getting used to the smell though and he realised that it had mellowed down a little. That was good, then, his nose was so goddamn sensitive that it was annoying sometimes.

"Dude, get yo ass outta here. I can handle it."

Garfield wrinkled his nose and shrugged, "Dunno." His ears twitched, "There's like nothin' to do anyway so I might as well be here."

"You could go check Raven out."

He sighed and made an exaggerated face, "She's bein' moody. She'll probably chuck me out of the window with her black energy thingies."

"She's moody all the time." Vic said in a matter-of-factly tone, "Doesn't mean she doesn't want your _'lovin'_," he performed finger speech marks to emphasise his point, "as disgusting as that may sound."

"_Nah_." He smiled weakly, "She can handle it. If she can handle her loon of a dad then she can totally handle Dick bein' in her head."

The subject of Dick loomed over their heads but instead of ranting in anger about him, Garfield decided to stay quiet and try to calm his hot-headedness. Breathing exercises should do the trick, right?

One…two…three…

_Breathe_.

"You like her a lot, don'cha?"

Garfield automatically grinned but then his face fell again, "Yea." His fingers itched to scratch his ears but he stopped himself.

"I'm guessin' you love her."

"I…" he paused for a while, thinking and re-thinking his thoughts, calculating how he would reply to Vic's blunt statement, "Yea." He decided finally, his tone soft and he avoided meeting his best friend's eyes, "She's kinda awesome."

"You're such a chick, Gar." Vic teased, emphasising this by poking him on the shoulder, "So? If she's so _awesome_, man, you should go to her." Surprisingly, the conversation had taken a serious turn, "Doesn't matter that she'll kick you outta her room, as long as she knows you're there for her, y'know?"

A small chuckle escaped Garfield's lips, "_Now_ who's bein' such a chick?"

Vic slapped Garfield's back roughly though there was a definite lightness to his face that made Garfield laugh along with him. Their friendship had started roughly, Garfield mused briefly as they joked around for a bit, Vic had kept trying to push him away but—_obviously_—Garfield being Garfield, he had used his brilliant charm—he glanced around warily, if Raven had been here and she had even _a little _insight into what he was thinking, she would've coughed quite heavily and quite deliberately—to convince Vic that he wasn't gonna make fun of him, he had, after all, lived with Robotman for quite a while.

He grinned at the memory; he had _called _Vic 'Robotman 2.0' when they had first met.

Garfield felt his tight shoulders relax a bit as he gave a pointless shrug to Vic, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. He suddenly realised that he hadn't been spending as much time with Vic as he used to—with him dating Raven, fighting crime and all the drama—and he was starting to regret it; Vic was the one person—apart from Raven, but this was _way_ different—that he could rely on to have his head and shoulders in the right place when everything went wrong, the one person that could always make _him_—said the overly enthusiastic and idiot of the bunch—laugh.

"She likes you a lot too. Maybe she even loves ya."

_That _caught his attention, "Eh? How'd you know?"

Vic grinned his brotherly grin, "Jus' a few things she said to me before when you went off to find her book."

"_What_? No way!" Garfield enthused, "What did she say 'bout me?" Vic kept on grinning like an idiot, not saying a word, causing Garfield to pout, "_Dude_, what did she say, man?"

"Ha ha." The grin was _still _there, "Not tellin'. You better go ask her yourself."

He groaned, "_No fair_. I wanna know what she said." He whined.

"I promised her I wouldn't tell. I don't really wanna talk about it anyway." Vic poked his tongue out teasingly, "Kinda gross."

"Gross?" Garfield pondered on that word, not really understanding what Vic was getting at, though by the expression on his face, Vic probably didn't think that he'd get it, "I'm not gross!" He guessed.

There was a second in where Vic just stared at him, his jaw dropping and his eye—singular here, _obviously_—bugging out like crazy and then…and then…he just cracked up and let out this huge bellow of a laugh. Garfield had _no _idea why Vic was laughing _this _much but it was so loud that he heard the slightest stirring from Kori, a low murmur and the covers rustling. It probably wasn't loud enough for Vic to pick up, but it made Garfield more alert for any other movements.

"Dude calm it down a bit, man." Garfield warned, "Kori might wake up." The rustling had stopped and the breathing had settled again, but his ears still perked up in case of any other sounds.

Vic's mouth formed an 'O' on its own accord, "Sorry, man…it was just that…" he chuckled, "you're so dumb."

"I am _not_." Garfield pouted once more, "FYI, I am, like, the fifth smartest in my zoology class." He pointed out, referring to his university major.

"There are probably five students in your class, righ'?"

"Vic!"

He grinned in reply, "I'm kiddin', BB, I'm kiddin'." He glanced at Kori for a moment, his red eye looking at her intensely, causing Garfield to follow in suit, "So, anyways, guess we should jet. I think she'll be good for now. She's not goin' anywhere, anyway."

"True." Garfield thought about this statement for a moment, "But what are we gonna do then? It's not like there's anythin' else to do around here."

"Well then BB," a sly smile spread itself on Vic's lips, "have you forgotten about our good old friend…namely; the GameStation?"

A sudden giddiness filled Garfield's chest as he heard the magical word that would always, _always_, have a spot in his heart. If Raven and Dick were here to witness him, they would immediately shake their heads and mutter about how immature and time wasting he was. If Kori was awake, she would probably clap her hands giddily but then seek to watch instead of actually joining in. However, he knew Vic would have the exact same reaction as he would at just the thought of the GameStation; his eyes –or _eye _in his case—would sparkle longingly, his heart would start thudding and his hand would shudder—metaphorically, of course—so much that it was a joy just to _hold _the console.

He grinned.

"So, are we going to do this or what?"

--

Raven stalked her bedroom floor, walking in circles, muttering to herself softly, not even knowing what she was saying. Her footsteps sounded heavy and hollow on the cold floor, her fingers clammy against the swell of her palm and her thoughts were all over the place; some were hers and yet some were Dicks. It was the same with her emotions…with his emotions…with…with…

There was a loud _whoosh_ing sound in the background and when she turned to see what it was, she witnessed one of her books bursting into a billion black pieces.

Not good.

She walked calmly towards the remains of the book on the table and tidied it up as best as she could, before placing the ashes into the bin. The mess wasn't as bad as the bedside lamp that she blew up or the desk that she accidentally removed the legs from and it was easier to clean. Control or no control, clearly she was destined for a place where there were no furniture in the room.

Sigh.

What she would give for her mind to just shut down right now, to let her think of things that were completely nonsensical and childish, for her maturity level to drop, for her emotions to let go, for her body to just react according to the situation but…but she couldn't. Her mind was flooded with thoughts and feelings that were discernable to her—Ha! Ironic that she called herself an empath—and she was cold, so cold.

However cold it was, she couldn't decipher it; she didn't know whether she was physically cold or she was feeling emotionally cold, it could've easily have been a combination of both. She didn't even know if this cold was caused by Dick or by her own wrongdoings and for some reason she really didn't want to know, not being able to differentiate such a thing made it easier on her, made her feel less guilty.

And yet…what was she supposed to be feeling guilty for? She didn't do anything, right?

She moved from the spot where she was standing and threw herself on her bed; it was warm and cosy, with pillows the size of baby elephants and a blanket that you could drown in. It made her feel a bit better, this superficial act of getting under the covers of her bed, but her mind still liked to sneak up on her with _his _thoughts, making her even more involved in whatever Kori and Dick had gotten into, more than she wanted anyway. Well, she figured that the rest of the team would have been involved in it sooner or later but by Azar it would've been more convenient if it was later.

Suddenly her senses started to tingle as she rolled over on her bed uncomfortably and she felt the familiar aura that belonged to Garfield; all warmth and excitement, comfort and joy but at the same time there was something of worry all mixed into his aura footprint. So, he had been on her bed, had he? She shook her head dismissively to herself as she realised that she didn't really care that he had been lounging about on her bed instead of trying to find her—well, _pretend_—book. She was actually quite grateful that he had left an imprint of himself—albeit accidentally—on her bed, it made the thoughts slip away faster than they were flowing out before and though it was still a slow process, she was just glad that it was _actually _proceeding.

As she fluttered her eyes closed, she felt her thoughts drift towards Gar; she was regretting the fact that she let her emotions get the better of her and had rejected his offer for her to stay in his room for the night. It would've been nice to have him by her side, it would've been less lonely—ironic, since she knew she was feeling not only her own emotions and thoughts right now, but Dick's too—and he would've been oh so _human_. He was hurt, she remembered vaguely—though she realised that it was all a blur what had actually happened—when she had said no but he had just smiled at her and told her that he'd take care of _it_, whatever _it _was and he had been so…nice and he didn't push her to make a decision that she didn't want to.

Damn him for getting more mature! If she had said no a year and a half ago he probably would've annoyed her in any and every way he had until either she agreed or she had blasted him as far away from her as her powers allowed her.

The blasting actually didn't sound like too bad of an idea.

Hmmm…

Her thoughts kept drifting around, but they were slowly dissipating as the darkness clouded her vision. She knew it was no ordinary sleep—_no way_—especially by the way she could feel her consciousness, well, feel conscious. If she were actually dreaming right now she wouldn't have any idea what was happening, but it was different; it was like she was being picked apart piece by piece, not in an unpleasant way, but in a way that felt extraordinarily detaching to her. It was hard to explain, but then, humans didn't usual travel to Nevermore like she did once in a while.

Her eyes snapped opened and she could finally see her surroundings with her mind's eye; it was always different—Nevermore, that is—it shifted and shaped on its own accord and by the need of the Emotions, but usually it liked to stick to the theme of doom and gloom with romanticised rock sculptures, stalactites and stalagmites and with a starless night sky looming above her. There was almost always no wind, and there was almost always crows accompanied by strange, almost chilling images embedded in the rocks. There were always a lot of almosts and today was no different to the other times, today Nevermore decided to stick to the theme.

For once—well there _was _that one time where she became the portal—she actually knew why her Emotions had called her in here, had pulled her into her own subconscious. There was no doubt about it really, she thought plainly to herself as each Emotion started to manifest in front of her, no doubt about it at all.

"So…" Raven started, not really knowing _how _to start; they were after all a part of her and should know every thought and feeling she currently had, it was not like she actually needed to say anything, actually.

There they stood in their colourful cloaks; from pink until brown, they were all like her, physically at least. Mentally, they were only one emotion each, they could not feel anything else and their thoughts were driven only by that very emotion. Their movements, their advice and their speech were all driven by a single emotion; it must be quite a tiring existence, Raven thought to herself, only being able to feel and think in one way though for some reason, it was appealing at the same time.

_Very_ appealing actually.

Raven _tut_-ed despite herself, "Well then, out with it."

"We have called you here, well, because we need to discuss a few things." Wisdom finally spoke up, fixing her glasses simultaneously, "It seems that you are having a few problems." She paused for a while then spoke up again, "Well, and yes, we also have a few personal complications."

Raven blinked twice then tried to see if there were any differences with the Emotions before pausing to think; there was none that she could see. They seemed pretty normal enough, all of them seemed to be in their area of feeling and no one was acting out of tune.

"Look closer." Wisdom said knowingly, her tongue momentarily licking her dry lips.

She did this time, with all her might, at the sky, at the ground, at the Emotions themselves. Everything looked normal, well…as normal as Nevermore was but she still couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, anything that would cause the Emotions to panic and pull her in.

"Great." Rage roared, her lips twisting into a malicious grin, "The bitch still doesn't get the fucking picture."

Courage puffed her chest up indignantly, "Rage! Don't speak like that to yourself!"

"Yes…Rage." Kindness spoke slowly, flinching as Rage glared at her, "Raven is doing her very best."

"Bite me." Rage's grin grew wider, almost Cheshire-like, her eyes turning into slits of red.

With that Raven saw Fear scramble around to hide behind Courage's cloak, her whole body shuddering violently, her pale pallor even paler and her eyes cast down. At the same time she saw Happy skip towards Timid and pat her lovingly on the head, like someone who was patting the head of the most adorable being in the world.

"Aww…" Happy cooed, smiling prettily with her skin flushed with excitement and glee, "Fear is _so _cute when she's like this. I wanna hug her." She squeezed Fear's cheeks together.

While all the racket was happening, she filtered out the sounds and kept concentrating on finding some sort of disorder or distortion. There was a flicker of movement behind a couple of the Emotions and she moved closer towards Laziness and Timid, her footsteps wary of anything dangerous. Suddenly, _finally_, she saw it and she knew that it was what they were referring to because of a satisfied '_ah_' that was heard in the background, elicited by none other than Wisdom.

"_Finally_." Raven heard Rage, almost able to picture her rolling her eyes.

It was strange, that was the feeling she got from it, it wasn't…it wasn't her. It was the shadows that bothered her, the shadows attached to their feet, so dark and inky that she wouldn't have noticed it against the backdrop of equally dark and ragged rocks. It wasn't that there were shadows—there were plenty of those here in Nevermore, sometimes appearing when there was nothing to create the shadows with—but these were different and too unfamiliar; the shape was all wrong.

It wasn't her shape.

It was Dick's.

Yes, you heard her right; the shadow—shadows, if she was being grammatically correct—belonged to Dick Grayson, the one and only.

"Well…um…" Raven started, completely flabbergasted at this revelation, "I see…" She decided to settle on that answer, "We _do _seem to have a problem."

A murmur of agreement spread around her, all different in tone according to their state of emotion. She walked a little closer, squatting down to trace the shape of the shadow once more to make sure. She was sure now; the shadows attached to each Emotion was not hers, they were _his_.

Now, _that _was _not _what she expected to come out of this situation; random mood swings, _yes_, telepathic communication, _sure_, certain awkwardness, _definitely_. But Dick's essence slipping into her own? Into Nevermore? Into her subconscious? Her _identity_?

She wasn't so sure.

"How long has this been going on for?" Raven enquired, partially curious, partially scared.

"Approximately a year." Wisdom must've seen the shock on Raven's face when she suddenly shook her head slowly, "It's only been fully formed for a month or so but I've noticed that it's been growing."

Raven felt the corner of her lips twitch, "Why didn't you tell me _sooner_?"

"Couldn't be bothered." Laziness yawned, her eyes all droopy.

"We…" Timid looked down at her shoes, twisted her foot carefully on one spot, "We didn't know if it was important or not but…but now that…_this_…has happened…" Her words trailed off silently.

This wasn't a good sign at all, she shook her head as she paced the gravelly grounds, she knew the risks of the bonds but there was no indication of _this _happening in any of her books. Was this even possible? A bond was supposed to push the limits of the word 'empathy' but this was not what she expected; she did not need this right now! She did not need the risk of becoming one with Dick, being _completely _in sync with him.

She sighed.

"This is _not _my day." Raven grimly muttered to herself, "Not my day _at all_."

"Don't worry Raven; we'll be with you all the way!" Courage pompously claimed, causing Raven to mentally slap herself on the head.

There _must _be a way to end this, there just _must be_! A way to mask the bond somehow, to slow down its process of—she gritted her teeth in frustration—identity consumption, to completely block out each other. There was always the option of severing it, but Raven did not know how that was to be done and even if she did, she wasn't sure she would want to; she didn't know the risks for _that _either. She felt irritation grow off the annoyance she originally felt for Dick and though she wanted to get angry, she knew that she was in no shape and in the wrong place to be angry; she couldn't risk Rage grow right now, she didn't feel like she had the strength to fight her off.

"What do you think of it?" Raven finally asked to no one in particular, her question hanging in the dank air.

Wisdom made a face before adjusting her glasses once more, "If this continues, it seems that it will consume you and thus consume us." A pause was felt between them, "We wouldn't want that."

"No, of _course _we'd want that." Raven rolled her eyes, trying to swallow back down the sarcasm she felt rise in her throat.

"Well, no need to be so snappish about it." Wisdom snapped back, "You know what to do."

Raven sighed, "I need to sever it…"pause, "but I have no idea how." Another pause, "And in addition to that, it might be dangerous."

"It might be more dangerous when…_if_…we are completely taken over." The Emotion spoke slowly, "And that particular consequence is unclear even to me."

"I'll…I'll look into it." Raven sighed dejectedly, "But what if it kills him? I mean, as much as he's being a complete bastard about everything right now, he's still my friend and in essence he's the only one who truly understands me…understands you _all_."

"It's a loss we've…I've taken into account for."

"That doesn't seem too positive." Raven stated shortly.

This time it was Rage's time to answer, accompanied by an almost excited grin, "It _isn't_."

Raven shuddered physically as those words tumbled out of Rage's lips and her eyes swept over the Emotions swiftly, though with some care. There was no use in denying it, Wisdom was right; if she were to fix this particular problem, she would have to sever it and though there would be certain risks to it, she knew that she would have to go through it if she were to regain some sort of normalcy—she scoffed silently at the idea—and some sort of privacy. It was all well and good to have Dick in her mind sometimes but she realised that if she wasn't able to handle her own emotions, what good was it that she had to handle someone else's too?

Suddenly, as she scrutinised each and everyone one of them, she realised that something—no—_someone _was missing and as she mulled over this, it suddenly clicked; where the hell was Affection? There was no periwinkle blue cloak in sight, no knowing smirk that made Raven want to punch her face in, no hint of pretty flush at the cheeks and no cooing over Garfield this and Garfield that. She felt her brows press together as she made sure that Affection _really _wasn't here, and to her surprise, she wasn't.

Was there some significance in her absence? Or was it just a coincidence? Was Raven just over thinking it all or was the fact that she wasn't here when she should be concern her?

Her head started to hurt.

"She's not here." Happy giggled prettily, twirling around to create a variety of wave-like ripples with her pink cloak, "She's in her element. Such a pretty, pretty element." She cooed, fluttering her lashes like crazy, "We like singing when I visit. We sing so many songs." The tone of her voice seemed to go up and down haphazardly, changing with every word she spoke, "I really, _really _like her."

Her thoughts began to meander once more but this time they were clearer, more coherent than the ones that were in there previously. Yet they were all directed at Affection, she knew, and she didn't really know why. It was like Affection was that tiny eyelash that fell on your skin and you didn't notice it until it was gone and that was what it felt like now.

Suddenly, as her thoughts became more and more Affection-oriented, she felt something stirring in her—or was it outside of her? She never really knew in Nevermore—and before she knew it, Affection was standing right in front of her; her arms crossed and a knowing smirk graced her lips haughtily. It was all done in typical Affection fashion of course but there was something different…it was as if she couldn't really call her Affection anymore, like that name was all wrong for her…

"You're right," Affection winked at her, "I'm not Affection anymore." She fluttered her lashes before moving closer, "I prefer to be called something else now…let's just say, I've been through a change…a rebirth of some sort." The smile turned almost Cheshire-like, "Care to guess what it is?"

Raven grimaced, not really wanting to know, "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's nice." Affection—or whoever she called herself nowadays—pouted, "So, what's the deal with you not having a malformed shadow?"

She didn't, alright. It was strange; Affection really didn't have Dick's shadow, she still had her own shadow, the one shaped just like her own in the real world. It was like she wasn't affected or something, and that certainly worried her. It was hazy—she was sure of that—but it was clearly Raven's shadow and not Dick's and it made her wonder what did Affection possess that made her defiant against this…this…epidemic. What made _her_ so special?

Affection's pale lips curled at the edges and she raked a delicate hand through her mass of dark hair, identical to Raven's, "Oooo…" she cooed, her words bordering on sickly sweet, "but don't you want to figure it out? You know how much I love puzzles Raven."

Raven hated it when Affection played games with her; there was never a straight answer when it came to this Emotion. Whenever they would converse, Affection would encourage—well, more like, _push_—Raven to figure things out on her own, the Emotion had always claimed that it was because with the emotion of affection, one never did actualise anything without figuring things out…or so she said. Raven had an inkling that Affection actually _enjoyed _torturing her and that she would stop at nothing to annoy her with her nonsensical words of romance; she loved romance as much as the next girl—though she would never admit it out loud…ever—but Affection sometimes went over the top with everything.

"_Really_, Affection, I don't have time for this. Now I _know _that you know why you, as an Emotion, aren't being consumed by Dick's emotions?"

"Gosh, Raven, I wonder why you avoided staying with Gar tonight." There was a twinkle in her eye as she spoke those words, completely ignoring Raven's own words, "He'd be so warm and you'd have some type of emotional support through this ever so tough time…" She let her words trail off.

Raven rolled her eyes, "Are you seriously going to lecture me about that? You know as well as I do that I regret it." She stated blandly, rolling her words in her mouth, "So, are you going to tell me or not?"

"Oh very well." Affection shook her head mockingly, "You ruin everything, you know that?"

This time it was Raven's turn to smile cattily, "I know."

"You know how I changed my name?"

Raven nodded slowly, and though she denied it consciously, she knew what Affection had changed into and it felt strange…like she wasn't supposed to feel it. She had not been brought up on it, for she was supposed to be the bringer of doom, and she didn't really know what it felt like and she knew when she compared to other people's—Kori's for example—it didn't totally match but since it was hers and hers only, she thought that she was interpreting it quite right. She just didn't know what to do with it, he knew that Gar felt it too but what difference did it make? Did it really change anything at all in their standing?

She shook her head; this was neither the time nor place.

"Well, since it is your own then it is quite unaffected." Affection—for she refused to call her anything other than that—said simply, "You and Dick feel, well, me but towards different people and also because your concepts of…me…are both different and so I am quite unchanged." Raven kept silent for a while as she continued, "You and him are similar in many ways, sometimes _too _similar and that's why the bond you have binds you two so tightly, because it—the bond, I mean—perceives you both as one person and by doing this it is forcing you to be…_one_."

"So, if you're unchanged then that means that I'm still safe? That I don't need to sever the bond?" Raven questioned.

This time Wisdom answered, her mouth twisted into a frown, "No, or at least we think not. This may just be a question of concept on the term of 'affection'," she did speech marks as she said this word, "but concepts change and that means that this current safety lock in the form of Affection might not hold for as long as we may think."

"Meaning that…she still hasn't stopped growing? That she would develop even more?" Raven asked, curious about this aspect of Affection's.

Affection flushed prettily, though not embarrassment, Raven guessed, but more in joy and delight, "It is possible, if you allow it. Even though your moods yo-yo all the time, I don't see why not. It feels good though, doesn't it?"

"If good is translated as feeling like my stomach is eating itself every time I see him, then yes, it's good." Sarcasm layered word upon word in that sentence.

"I think they're more commonly known as butterflies." Affection smiled prettily, "You enjoy the sensation, anyway." She pointed out.

Raven nodded numbly then realisation suddenly struck her as she turned towards Wisdom to see if her presumptions were correct, "You're saying that the only way to stop _this _is either to break the bond with Dick—not knowing what the full consequences are—or to stop loving Gar. That's it, isn't it?" Her voice was demanding, she knew, like that of a spoilt brat, but she couldn't help it, the thought of those two choices were in itself horrifying, "But how would not loving Gar stop it? Would it not just catalyse the whole process all together if Affection was out of the picture?"

Wisdom nodded grimly, knowing that despite Raven's lack of enthusiasm, those two were the most logical and convenient choices, "That is the point. She _won't _be out of the picture, she will merely get weaker and she may even lower her status, and so we will have two different concepts—yours and Dick's—which would then prevent the identity consumption." The dark eyes peered through her glasses contemplatively, "You can still love Garfield platonically." She said in what Raven thought was an attempt to cheer her up.

The reality of it was harsh and unless there was something else she could do, those were the only two options available for her. What was she to do? She did not want to risk Dick and yet she did not want to lose Gar. She _loved_ Gar; it was inevitable and so…so…right that she realised that there was no use in denying it anymore and she found herself not wanting to deny it, like Affection had mentioned before, she liked it. It was easy not to love him before they started their relationship, before she knew his touch, his kisses and his laughter, but now she would probably feel at loss if she did not have any of those things. It was not that she could not go on living without him—no, it was clearly not so—but the life would be drab, bland, grey and unfulfilling…she did not know—no!—she knew that she did not want a life like that, not after she had experienced such bright colours and such strong emotions both from him and evoked by him. There was also that sense of familiarity and comfort that always oozed from him that she craved, and if she had to stop loving him, that would all go away. And how would he feel about it? Surely, he would not understand, surely he would then condemn Dick even more than he already has. Surely he would hate her for being so strange and so cold.

Surely there was another way?

"There may be other ways but we have no found them…and we are losing precious time." Wisdom stated shortly, avoiding her eyes.

Affection suddenly shot back at her, "Then we will find those other ways! She cannot…she should not…stop loving Gar just because of something as insignificant as this, Wisdom. It is inhumane to tell her to do so!"

"It may be the only way." Wisdom retorted sharply, "I don't find any pleasure in this either, Affection, but we all have to make sacrifices."

"Then sacrifice Dick!" Affection burst out to both Wisdom and Raven, red faced and frustrated, "You _love _Gar!"

Raven felt her throat constrict, "I…I cannot. It would hurt him and it would hurt Kori. But…" she felt the words wrapped in her throat, desperate to get out but knowing that it would be painful if it did, "but…I haven't even told Gar that I love him…" she whispered croakily, "I haven't even…" speaking the words verbally hurt even more, "I love him, I do. I really do." Her words were slow and hesitant but they were there.

There was nothing left to it and she knew that Raven didn't want to stay in Nevermore any longer, not if she had to. Her head hurt, her chest hurt, her _heart _hurt and for once she knew that it was definitely hers, that _this _was definitely hers. She licked her lips nervously and though she was in the metaphysical realm and she knew that her lips weren't actually dry, they felt like there were cracks and crevices in them with a flake like texture that annoyed her.

She shook her head slowly, inhaling deeply at every word she spoke, "I'll…I'll think about it. I'll find something." Her voice quavered with determination.

With all her might, she pushed Nevermore away, not even bothering to say goodbye to her Emotions. The place was getting hazier and hazier, like sand slipping through her fingers though it was slow and torturous, like trying to pull out all your hair one by one. Shudders crawled under her skin as she forcefully pulled herself away from the metaphysical and tried to get back to the physical realm, to where logic applied and anything that was solid was real. She had only done this once before, and it had been the same; the same slow, tormenting and mind chilling pain that coursed through her. Nevermore did not like being ignored as it tried to capture her in its claws, but Raven knew that she wouldn't—wouldn't want to, that is—get out if she didn't get out when she did.

Finally, her eyes flashed open and her breathing was slow and heavy. She felt searing, recurring pains on her forehead and she knew that her chakra was glowing wildly. Raven sat up, clutching at the blanket tightly, her knuckles white, and she stared at nothing in particular as she rewound the events that had happened in her mind. Her mouth was dried up; she realised, and instinctively swallowed, though it didn't really do anything to quench her thirst. She had done the right thing, she knew, it had been right to rip her whole being out of Nevermore no matter how painful; if she had let her emotions overwhelm her in Nevermore, she would've been trapped and in real life she would have been ensnared in a catatonic state.

Another sigh escaped her lips.

She didn't know what to do, she really didn't.

It wasn't _that _that really bothered her in the first place, actually. It wasn't the thought of not knowing what to do that was bothering her. It was the thought that she thought that she had an inkling of what she had to do and she was scared.

She loved Garfield. Every fibre of her being was telling her that whatever she was feeling towards him was love, and that was significant in itself; she wasn't brought up on love, as all of her friends knew, and her concept of love may have been distorted ever so slightly but—at the very least—she _thought_ that this was love and, _truly_, that was all that mattered. She loved him...she loved him and she didn't want to lose him before she fully explored this feeling, fully explored their relationship and fully…fully understood what it was to love and _be _loved.

A small, almost insignificant whimper was heard from her as she felt her chest constrict.

She_ loved_ him…

**A/N: So, what did you think? Liked it? Hope you did!**


	10. Bowling

**A/N: YAY! Back again for another chappie! Maaaaaan...I had half a mind to put this on hiatus but I decided not too because even with all the school work and crap, I realised I really enjoyed writing this and want to at the very least finish it up.**

**However...I'm sorry this chappie's a bit short...and a bit weak. I like it though...kind...and the characters are a bit OC but then they always kinda have been a little bit OC so I'm not too worried.**

**Once again, I'm sorry I posted this a little late but I hope you still all enjoy it!**

**Please read and review! Love you!**

**Chapter 10**

Raven slipped out of her room fluidly and into Kori's to check up on her after what seemed to be hours and hours of time spent in her own room contemplating what to do about her current situation yet she couldn't find a solution and found that it might be better for her to do something productive before drowning herself in misery once more and going all OCD about it. She was also visiting because she had started feeling guilty about not visiting her best friend at her time of need; she had been selfish and self consumed by her own thoughts and she had hurt Gar in the process of doing so and after a while, she realised that she had also hurt Kori—even if Kori was not conscious of it—as it was her duty as her friend to take care of her and help her stand once more.

As soon as the chill of phasing had dissipated, Raven approached the sleeping Tamaranian with hushed steps, making sure that—though she was never really a noisy person, that could be accredited to both Gar and Vic—she did not make any noise that could possibly wake her up. It was strange to find Kori being so quiet—unnatural, really—as every time Raven was near her she erupted with joy and hyper-activeness combined with fierce beauty and an enchanting smile.

Yet now, as she could see with her own naked eyes, Kori was still fast asleep and there was some type of serenity to her that softened every strong feature that Kori had but at the same time she could sense the turmoil and the anguish that the Tamaranian felt, even in her sleep. She was still beautiful—and she would _always _look beautiful, Raven noted, half begrudgingly—but there were lines where there weren't any before and she looked haggard, it wasn't just because of the feelings that Raven was sensing because she definitely did look more tired. It worried her, like a lot of things, but at this exact moment this worried her the most.

Raven found herself a chair and sat down next to her, taking in her aura and the sight of her at the same time. Dick announcing their break and his leaving must have taken a toll on her, she thought to herself, since the majority of the time that Kori spent on Earth was as a Titan and that meant being around Dick 24/7 and it increased their infatuation for each other every single day and now…now that was destroyed in one swift stroke by the very man that Kori had always, _always _been in love with.

Her fingers found themselves entangled in the mass of red strands and she let them play with the individual burnished red locks, slipping slowly as they slipped in and out of the red silk. There was something peculiar about this year, she had realised, and she didn't know what it was but something was making things fall apart; it may have been internal problems or external pressure but there was just something in the air that was making every day seem like one of those trashy soaps that Garfield used to try to make her watch…everything was just so hyperbolic and unreal that if someone else was experiencing what they were experiencing she wouldn't have believed them no matter how convincing their argument was.

Suddenly she felt a twinge of consciousness prod at her empathic powers and she held her breath in, determined to keep Kori in her current state of peace but it was to no avail; she heard a low groan erupt from Kori's lips and she started shaking her head in distress. No, it was not working at all.

"Hush…Kor, it's me; Raven." Raven whispered, trying to calm her best friend down.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Kori turned to look at her; the corner of her brows and lips were wrinkled and her large chartreuse eyes dimmed as her gaze met Raven's, "Where is boyfriend Dick, friend Raven?" Her voice squeaked as if her throat was parched.

"He is…" Raven shook her head slowly, "He's away, Kor."

"Oh…" Kori's lips folded into an indulgent pout and there was the distinct feeling of sadness and disappointment coming from her, "I hope he will be back soon…did he not say when he was coming back? Oh, I do miss his presence."

Raven stopped herself from blurting out that he has abandoned her and instead settled on a more diplomatic question, "Kori…" she started, "You _do_ remember what happened with you and Dick before…right?"

There was a pause as sudden realisation etched itself on Kori's ridiculously pretty face and the features which seemed to be already washed out before seemed even more gaunt now that she quickly gained memory of what had happened before.

"Oh." Kori whispered, "I had forgotten." A line had formed in between her brows.

Raven sighed and bit at her dry lips carefully, trying to avoid looking at her best friend directly and trying to drag her empathic tentacles away from Kori; she did not want to know what her best friend was feeling now, not now that she had a vague idea of what state she was in, not now that she still—despite the distance—knew what Dick was feeling. It was hard knowing what both people in a conflicting situation; it was much easier to side with one person, just as she knew that Gar had sided with Kori.

Sigh.

If only it was _that_ easy for her to take one side, but it wasn't. She had always known that Gar would side with Kori even if his friendship with Dick—like it had been on a number of occasions—was at its closest, he would _still_ side with the flame-haired girl. It had a little to do with chivalry but mostly it was because there had always been so much _drama _between the two Titans—Dick and Gar, that is— and it was rooted in the fact that they had been brought up in similar ways—the sudden loss of parents, the unsteady upbringing, the need to continuously impress their father figures—but they had—at least on the surface—turned into completely different people and this—Raven searched for the right word—disgruntled them, disturbed them…maybe not on a conscious level but it was still there, the question was still there; why is it that he was brought up like me but didn't turn up like me?

Obviously it wasn't only that subconscious question that kept Gar from siding with Dick; he had already been growing wary of the leader ever since Raven's bond had grown stronger with time and how he seemed…different after Dick had come back from Gotham; he didn't like the way he affected Raven and he found Dick's sudden newfound happiness suspicious. Their friendship had grown strained too but she knew that they had both been trying to make an effort but it was futile, the distrust had been there and it had been obvious to everyone despite the denials.

Kori seemed strangely calm and no melodramatics were applied, "So," she concluded sadly, "we are truly on the break then."

"Yea, I guess so." Raven confirmed, not bothering to cover it with sweet reassurances.

There was an awkward pause between them as she watched Kori take it all in and resurface all the emotions that she had left dormant in her sleep before. Though her face was of calm, almost monotonic sadness, her emotions spoke differently to Raven as waves just rushed at her, hitting her chest like a tide against a rock and then skimming over the sensitive areas softly. It was like touching dry ice, there was the initial cold but then it burned quite badly until you questioned whether what you felt before was really the cold.

"He's just being an idiot, you know how hot-headed he can be, he's just overreacting, that's all." She suddenly felt an urge to reassure her, "It's his loss, OK?" She felt a little out of character when a strange, almost maternal sounding tone came out of her lips but she let it be as Kori sniffled softly, "If it makes you feel better, I will bet my soul on _anything_ that Batman is giving him a good scolding for abandoning his team once again."

Kori giggled at that before covering her lips with her hands in embarrassment, a flush blooming on her golden cheeks suddenly, "I do agree, friend Raven, the Batman does not tolerate indiscipline. It would be most humorous to watch the scolding."

A small smile lit up on her own face as a trickle of delight weaved through Kori's emotions, "It would, it would."

"But…" her voice was melancholic again and Raven sensed Kori's melodramatic ways kicking back in again with the constant up and downs of moods, "he did the blaming of me and said that _I _was being irresponsible and that _I _was cheating on him. I mean, can you believe him?" She shook her head in disbelief, "It is, as you humans say, irrelevant to…anything! How can he do the claiming that I was cheating on him when he himself may have done so?" There was a tone of hurt in her voice.

"Like I said, he overreacted, he does that." Raven reached out for Kori's hand and felt the sudden warmth spread into her own, "You'll be fine, right? I mean, if it makes you feel any better I can tell you that he's not feeling any better than you are. Also, it might make you feel better that—only if you want—I can make him feel like he's got his period, a painful one at that." She smirked playfully.

Kori blanked, "I thought that Terran men do not have the periods…"

"They don't." Her smirk grew a tad larger at those two words.

"Oh, I get it now." Kori flashed a smile interrupted by a fit of giggles, "You are making a joke to make me feel better. You have been making more and more jokes recently, friend, malicious jokes…yes…but they are still jokes."

"Don't get too used to it."

She sighed and sat up and suddenly Raven felt anger swell up in Kori as thoughts started to flow into her, it was quite sudden and it grew at an alarming rate, "I believe he may have, you know."

"May have what?"

"Done the cheating on me. He was too hesitant in his answers and…he would not look me in the eye." She gritted her teeth, "I do not understand why but if he truly has, I will never forgive him. _Never_." A growl escaped her lips, "He cannot think that he can get away with humiliating me; a Tamaranian warrior of the highest rank. He cannot."

Raven stayed silent as Kori's anger grew, slapping Raven in the gut every time passion was involved. Kori was a dangerous person to be with when she was angry, it was not that she could not control her anger, no, it was just that the intensity was beyond that of a normal human and it was all heat and fire and just…_alive_.

"And he reacts by accusing me—_me_!—of cheating on him, as if I would do that. I would never do that; it would shame me…it would shame _him_ and I love him enough that I cannot stand if he loses face. Is it truly _my _fault that humans appreciate my beauty and react the way they do? Is it not a blessing to have a job in which your beauty is appreciated? And he thinks that I should be above this modelling job, but how am I above it when this is one of the only jobs that may take me past the life of a Titan…unless I go back to Tamaran, of course." There was a sort of up-and-down tone to her voice that intimidated Raven, "Is that what he wants? That I go back to my native planet?"

"No…no…definitely not. He'd be even more of an idiot than he is now if he really wanted that. I don't know if he's cheated on you or not and despite this bond I don't think I ever will." Raven shook the niggling feeling in the back of her head out of her, "_But_, if he is, I say let him. He'll regret it. He'll regret hooking up with whoever he's hooked up with and he'll come crawling back to you. It's such an underhanded way to deal with things but if he doesn't appreciate you well enough then he isn't good enough for you." She sighed, "There are always other fish in the sea, Kor."

It wasn't that she was taking Kori's side, really. It was just that she herself believed that he may really have cheated on Kori, or at least he was harbouring some kind of love—not the platonic type either—for someone other than Kori and she had a sneaking suspicion on who it was. She couldn treally blame the girl either though, it wasn't like she had forced Dick to start fancying her again, she didn't have any powers as far as Raven was concerned. Raven wanted to give Dick the benefit of the doubt that he didn't cheat on Kori or at least he had some sort of excuse—whatever it may be—because she _really _did not like to think that someone as straight and narrow thinking as Dick Grayson would do something as deceitful as cheating on his girlfriend. OK, he had his low points at times; disguising himself as Red X to get near Slade…becoming Slade's apprentice…not trusting anyone on the team to be half as obsessed with Slade as he was…you get the gist…but that was different and—logically—not part of his personal life. To be honest, Raven had always thought of Dick's personal life as being a litte more organised—not that it wasn't _way _organised already—than his professional life but she guessed that the lines muddied occasionally and she didn't blame him; when you never leave your professional life but still have a personal life at the same time, you'd get confused too.

Raven put her focus back to Kori as she lay back on her pillow once more, eyes focused on the pale purple ceiling above. Her long fingers were interlocked with each other and she was laying down stock still, not moving an inch except for the rise and fall of her chest. She was thinking, Raven realised and quite thoughtfully too' her aura was calm, there were still undercurrents of anger and jealousy there but it was calmer than it had been before…it was as if she was contemplating something that she hadn't noticed before, or something she had known for a long time but had dutifully ignored.

"He is changing. I do not know if it is for the better or for the worse but he is changing, I have noticed." A small, quite monotonic voice spread on Kori's lips, "It is as if he understands already that in a year's time we will all be going our separate ways and he is doing the detachment of himself from this…from his life here." She bit her bottom lip and heaved a sigh, "It is like he is going through a crisis, friend."

Raven snorted, "Great, Dick is having a mid-life crisis when he hasn't even hit his mid-twenties." She spouted sarcastically, "Can't be too good for him, can't be too good for us either, actually."

"Mmmm…" Kori replied as if she hadn't heard a word of what Raven had been saying.

"Sarcastic points aside, Dick is probably just growing up. You know men," she stated, neglecting to mention that Raven did not know _anything_ about them, "they say that men mature later than us females and so Dick being completely pissy about everything may just be some really strange second puberty or something. He's probably confused, his hormones—though past his teens—are definitely still raging and venting them through fighting isn't always the greatest of ideas and so we're left with an almost recognisable thing of a Grayson. Unpleasant, but it's the truth."

"And what if he does not come back as he was?" Passion started coating her friend's words, "What if this…_thing_…that he is experiencing does not wear off and I find out that I have wasted years and years loving this…this…_person_…and I find out that he ceases to be!? What do I do then, Raven? I do not want to lose him…I love him, by x'hal, even after he's accused me of doing unspeakable acts and even if he may have committed those acts himself, by x'hal I still love him." Apart from the tone of her voice and the emotions flooding out of her, physically you could not see that there was such zeal and such anger in her right now, "I do not want to sound like a weakling—I am _not_ a weakling!—but it shames me to say that this separation hurts…I know that it has only been a few hours but, friend, he is a part of me as much as I am a part of him and to have that ripped out is not easy nor it is painless. Oh, I do wish that it would go away, friend Raven, it is shameful to be so reliant on a man, but sadly it is true."

Raven shrugged, gathering her own thoughts as Kori's words were processed in her own, complicated and worry-ridden mind. They were desperate and angry yet filled with the age-old Tamaranian pride that Kori always boasted about, it was actually one of the only things she did boast about. The pride reverberated from her like a familiar rhythm and colour bloomed on her cheeks as if she had just applied a bit of makeup on and her voice chimed beautiful though there was that rough aggravation that came with the frustration of it all.

"Maybe he won't change back…it's a possibility that even _I'm _able to admit…but it may be for the better, Kor, or maybe it'll make him even more hateable than he is now but maybe he _is_ right and you two _do _need a break from each other. Azar knows you two have been attached to the hip ever since we first met." She realised that this commented seemed a little bitchy but one glance at Kori told her that she didn't mind, "You're strong, Kor, I know you are…you're one of the strongest person I have ever met and, mind you, I have met a lot of super-people during my lifetime and I _know_ that you can get through this…I _know_ that Dick has been some sort of shoulder to lean on but you are a Tamaranian and Tamaranians are strong, remember?" She pressed on, "They're warriors. _You_ are a warrior. Look, to put a spin on things you have to show Dick that you being without him does not affect you at all, that you can do this…do life…without him." Subconsciously, she picked up Kori's hands in her own and smiled softly at her, "So, just try your best to be OK, alright?"

Kori sat up from her position and turned to face Raven, her green eyes brightening ever so slightly with a sort of determination—she didn't know what else to call it—and the smallest of nods were seen by Raven's ever watching eyes. Her shoulders straightened immensely and she regained her brilliant posture, looking straight at Raven. Her fleshy lips twisted for a moment, mulling over what she was to say and the pride was back again alongside with the anger…but the anger was more…subdued for some reason, like it was to be directed into another emotion.

She smiled, though her brows were furrowed together, "You are right, friend Raven, I must not show weakness…_I am not weak_…I _refuse_ to be." A shrug portrayed itself on Kori's shoulders, "I will be living my own life and I will ignore his absence." A determined smile grew on her face, "This will be a great opportunity for me to…develop…further in my career. This…_modelling_…it is the current love of my life, friend Raven. Of course fighting crime is still of the upmost importance but, Raven, it is a most glorious sensation to be in front of the camera and to do the posing. I think I will be moving to the New York when we have…disbanded." The tone of her voice at the last sentence seemed a little glum but it was better than it had been before.

Raven frowned subconsciously, though she wasn't sure why. It had something to do with the future, for she was sure of it, though if it was something to do with the near or the far she wasn't sure at all. As organised as she may be, she did not like thinking of the future, she had always…_always_…thought that what was to be would happen and there was no possible way to stop it. Yet, if only her actions wouldn't have such a great impact on…

"Friend?" Kori asked, interjecting her thoughts, "Are you OK?"

Raven smiled briefly, "I'm just tired. Why?"

"You seem troubled, that was the all." Kori paused, her finger attached to her lip in thought, "You seem to want to do the cheering of me up but at the same time, you yourself seem to need some sunshine."

"I could always just be living up to my _image_ as the resident Goth."

Kori giggled but her aura was serious, "You exaggerate." She looked up for a moment before looking back at Raven, "I believe that the word Goth derives from the word _gothic_ meaning medieval or old fashioned. I do confess that the medieval times were anything but happiness and yet I believe that the old fashioned-ness suits you well, friend Raven. Oh…I am doing the trailing off topic." She shook her head, "No, this is not the gothic acts that the public say that you do but this is something entirely else. Do you not wish to confide in me, sister?"

Raven opened her mouth for a second but then closed it again; another problem for another time, "Really, Kor, I'm just tired. Even if I did have a problem, it's my business, OK?" She stated sharply but then softened her tone, "Look, I'm just tired and you worry about yourself rather than worry about me. Gar does that quite enough, thank you very much, it's like he thinks that I'm some sort of emotional wreck."

"Well, he loves you, that is all, and he does not want to see you hurt. _I _do not want to see you hurt."

She frowned, "I won't get hurt. Others will though, he will." She mumbled to herself.

"What was that, friend Raven?"

"Nothing…nothing. I think I'm going back to my room. I'll see you in a few, OK?"

Kori nodded, "I think I will be calling the agency, they have said that I have had a few more offers."

"You do that."

Suddenly Kori gave her one bone-crunching hug and she stood still in her arms, not moving an inch until Kori finally released her from the constricting position. Happiness and gratitude flowed into Raven like an intoxicating drug and all she could do was inhale all these emotions before she was left with her own emotions; her own grey emotions.

"Thank you friend, you are truly not as mean as the paparazzi—is it?—portray you to be."

Raven smirked, "Geez, thanks, I guess. Now I really have to go."

Raven glided smoothly to the door and phased out of it, therefore entering the hallway. She let out a heavy sigh as soon as she was out; another problem solved, another problem to be solved. It was like a really irritating domino effect that she felt like stepping on, though she knew that stopping it abruptly didn't mean that she would stop it completely, it was such a Catch-22 that she really didn't know if she should put any effort into anything anymore, it all seemed a bit useless and futile.

Suddenly, as she leaned carelessly on Kori's door, a dark shadow covered her and as she looked up, she couldn't say that she was surprised that it was none other than Garfield. He leaned over her unthreateningly, his right arm over her head in such a casual way that it was almost disconcerting. It wasn't meant to be intimidating, she knew, and she knew fairly well that Garfield was never—well, almost never, there were times when he bared his fangs at others, pun intended—intimidating on purpose. The way he leaned over was usually used to greet her in such a way that she couldn't avoid giving him a kiss without phasing away but now it just seemed confrontational and it made her feel ever so slightly claustrophobic.

"Hey." That was all he said, and all he needed to say.

Raven looked up, and though he wasn't that much taller than her, he was still tall enough to make her feel incredibly short, "Hello."

He looked down at her for a moment, his green eyes taking all of her in, and she felt it, she physically felt his eyes take her image in and for a moment she glared defiantly back, though over what, she didn't have a clue about.

"You look pissed."

She raised a brow at him, though she knew that her expression had softened.

"Like…angry pissed…not—y'know—drunk pissed."

"I've been better, yes, but you know how it is." She shrugged, keeping her own violet eyes locked with his, "These things are tricky."

"I can imagine, baby doll. How're you holdin' up?"

Raven paused for a moment to take in his overprotective self, "He's calmed…I've calmed. It's over and we can all move on." The sharpness entered her sentence unwillingly but she couldn't help it.

"I have no idea how the hell you can be so calm about it." He stopped leaning over her and instead stood next to her, sliding down so that he was sitting on the ground and he prompted for her to do the same, "Aren't you just so fuckin' pissed at him? I mean, I don't have him in _my_ head but _I'm_ pissed."

She followed in suit, sitting next to him with her legs crossed, "Oh, _really_? You don't look pissed." Raven stated sarcastically and found her grim demeanour glazing off a bit as he grinned toothily, "I'll be fine and you know it. You just don't want to admit that I don't need you hovering over me 24/7. And as for Dick…" she sighed, "…he can't be to blame entirely, can he? I mean, he's only one guy."

"He cheated on Kori, Raven, _and _he's left us. _Again_."

Automatically her hands curled up to cover her mouth as she felt him move in closer to her, "I know."

"You _knew_ that he was cheating on her and you didn't say _anythin'_!?" Gar asked, clearly shocked at this revelation, "I mean, aren't you and Kori like blood sisters or somethin'?"

"Calm down. I didn't tell her because I wasn't sure if he was actually cheating on her or if he just basically likes this girl."

Gar groaned, slapping his own forehead in the process, "You talk about the chick like you know her." it wasn't a question, it was more of a statement, but Raven answered anyway.

"I do…not personally—I mean I've met her but only a couple of times—and she's a nice person; sincere, determined, no-nonsense and tough. She wouldn't have provoked him, you know?"

"_Man_…" another groan escaped his lips but this time it felt heavier, "there's like, too much drama goin' on. I don't get it, it's like we've been sucked into a bad episode of the OC. We can't handle it and we shouldn't have to. We have enough problems on our plate with the whole saving the world thing!"

"It'll pass; this infatuation, if it _is _infatuation, for the other girl is based on guilt and nostalgia and once he's come back to his senses and doesn't act like someone who's been knocked on the head a few times then it'll all go back to normal." She let her eyes close for a while but then opened them again, "In the meantime we'll all just have to make do."

Raven was careful not to mention her name; it would just mean that Gar and Kori would grow resentment to this particular girl when she had done nothing but meet with Dick after an extremely long time. She had her uses as well, now that she was no longer capable of being a 'superhero'—Raven _hated _that term—Raven knew that she was smart enough to use all her resources into helping the superheroes in any way that she can; it would have been what Raven would have done if she were in the same situation.

"It's not right for her to take him away from Kori though, you should've seen just how angry she was…I saw furniture burnin'!" He threw his arms around, exaggerating the movement of the flames on the singed wood.

She threw him a bemused look before taking her attention to the ceiling above, "A childhood friend, a childhood sweetheart. A different age."

"Age as in age-age…or age as in time-age?" Garfield asked her, and she wasn't sure if he was being serious or not.

Nevertheless she threw him a hyperbolically worried look, "Both, I guess, would suffice but I was referring more to time than actual age." She pointedly looked at him, "Though I guess when you're under a lot of pressure and nostalgia hits you right in the face, it can make you do things that you wouldn't normally do…normally feel because it feels comfortable…almost like…_home_. Doesn't really help that she's been through some hard times too." She ended it on that note.

"Hmmm…that's kinda weird."

He moved his position once more and this time leaned his head on her right shoulder and the pressure of it made her shoulder slacken a bit. It felt a bit strange for her to have him there, next to her with his head on her shoulders, clearly looking for comfort, but at the same time she found some sort of comfort in it too. He was quieter than usual but that didn't bother her, she didn't really feel like speaking either.

"It's quiet, yea?" He asked suddenly.

Raven nodded slowly, making sure that he wouldn't fall off her shoulders from rapid movement, "Too quiet even for my tastes." She listened on for any sound other than their voices, "Kori's better though, I checked. Well, better in the sense that she's going to do something proactive instead of staying in her room all day. I know; hypocrite." She threw him a glare but all he did was smile, "But not better in the sense that she's feeling any better, she still feels as miserable as she did before but now she's actually going to do something with it. She says that she's going to try to develop this modelling career that she's so neatly stumbled upon. Pretty sure Dick won't like it though."

"Serves him right for being such a jackass. When I heard them argue all he could talk about was how she shouldn't be modelling because he thought that she looked a bit skanky and slutty; way to talk to your girlfriend about the job she loves." He grumbled, not bothering to conceal the disgust that he was feeling about the situation.

"He was being a jerk, yes, but he was probably just jealous. He knows how drop-dead gorgeous Kori is and he cares too much for her to want to lose her to somebody else."

Garfield coughed meaningfully, "Talk about tact, though."

"Point taken. There was no excuse for him to explode in such a way."

She shuddered, remembering what it felt like when she had that sudden dose of emotion thrown right at her before wrapping her own mind into it. It had felt like _she _was the one who had been angry at Kori and that it was _she _that felt guilty about something that was not supposed to be done. It was unnerving and the meeting with her Emotions had been such an eye opener though in a painful manner; she did not like the choice.

"Baby doll."

"Mmmmhmmm?"

"How did you know when Dick and Kori were arguing? Like how did you know when he got pissed?" He shifted his head a bit before continuing, "I mean, what does it feel like?"

There was a pregnant pause between them as Raven pondered on this question, trying to give words to her answers, trying to make sense of the words that _did _come up in her mind. There were a lot of things that she felt when the person on the other side of the bond felt an extremely strong emotions and explaining them wasn't going to be such an easy task, especially to someone who needed a lot of visuals to imagine something; there was no way in hell he would understand it if she left it all mysterious and mystic-like.

"It's like…" she started then stopped again, "It's like when you're drowning and there's just all this water around you and for a while it's just like that, it's just around you and you can still hold on and tread the water." Raven closed her eyes and saw this very image in her mind, calculating it's accuracy, "But after a while you get tired and you can't move your arms or legs around again to keep you afloat and you fall into the water and all you can see is the water." Another pause, "Slowly, slowly the water enters your lungs and it becomes a part of you and the water isn't just around you anymore, it's inside you. It's not as morbid as it sounds because when the emotion is happiness then it can be a good thing, but that was the closest I could get to describing it to you." Raven added as a side note.

A sliver of fear seeped into his emotions and Raven turned to see him turn an unsightly shade of pale green, "Drowning, huh?" His voice was husky, as if he was just trying to find his voice.

Raven looked at him curiously, wondering why she would receive such a reaction from her explanation when it hit her. She was _so _stupid to not remember it, and it was made even worse by the fact that it was such an important part of his life, that it most probably made him the way he was now; funny but a little angry inside. There was a lot of stress put on her but _still_, it didn't give her an excuse to forget that his parents had died on a ship, that Garfield still beat himself up constantly about it.

"I'm sorry." She said finally.

He nuzzled her shoulder gently with the top of his head, "It's OK, you forgot. I sometimes forget that you're the daughter of, like, the most evil person out there."He chuckled forcefully.

"That joke was done in bad taste," she said in a mock-serious tone in response to his nuzzle, "but I'll let you slide this time because my description was done in bad taste."

"Yea, but I guess I get it now."

She hoped he did.

She _really _hoped that he did.

Raven hadn't started trying to figure out how she was to resolve her problematic bond with Dick and yet she had a sneaking suspicion that there was no other way to do it other than the solutions that were presented to her by her Emotions; to either sever her connection with Dick or to sever her connections with Garfield. And so she wanted him to understand, before she made any sort of decision, that it wasn't really Dick's fault and that if she did make the decision to end their relationship, she wanted him to not feel like he could've done something in order to save their relationship because he couldn't and neither could she if she chose that option. Don't get her wrong, she didn't want their relationship to be doomed but there was something to be said in being prepared for such an end, to diffuse the anger that she knew Garfield would be feeling if she had made that choice; the anger felt towards her, towards Dick and most importantly towards himself.

"I still don't like him." He grumbled.

Raven shook her head pathetically, "I don't think anyone likes him right now. He's being a bastard and he knows it himself and even I find it pretty inexcusable that he left for the reasons he's claimed."

"He's bein' such a prick." Another statement came out of him, "And he better get everythin' back to normal after his frickin' temper tantrum or not I'm gonna sock him."

She rolled her eyes at him as his emotions turned to that of amusement, "You wouldn't be able to land a punch on him." It wasn't the nicest thing to say, but nevertheless it was true.

"Whatever." He stuck his tongue out at her, "Even if I couldn't beat him up—which I _so_ could!—I could always turn into a lion or somethin' and eat him." It was all said in such a matter-of-factly tone that it made her smile.

"Effective…but that would be cheating."

"You suck." He pouted.

"Whatever." It was her turn to retort in such a laissez-faire tone.

In reply he sat up properly and brushed a stray hair from out of her face, gently stroking her cheek in the process of doing so. His fingers were warm against his face and without realising so; she rubbed her cheeks against them, revelling in the warmth and familiarity that was exerted by them. He seemed to find comfort in his own actions as well as his aura glowed quite warmly in a way that made her empathic powers lap it all up in greed and his smile had turned soft, not the normal innocent and naïve smile that she was so used to receiving, but she noted that at the very least he was smiling and not being totally pissed off at Dick. So, OK, the anger hadn't quite disappeared yet but at least on the surface it seemed like it and that was all Raven really wanted for now.

Hmmmm…

She too, though she wasn't really one to admit it, wanted everything to go back to normal, to the way it was before. Yet, unlike Gar, she knew that logically nothing would be back to normal after this and everything hung quite uncomfortably until every one of the Titans made some kind of decision, and of course those decisions would inevitably affect the other Titans as well. She just hoped that these decisions would have positive results but right now, she couldn't be sure of anything, and if she couldn't be sure of anything, she did not even want to think about the problem right now.

"Rae?" He interjected her thoughts and was brought back down into reality.

"Hmmm?"

"You're OK right?" He asked, his voice sounding quite determined, "Like _really _OK and not _'I'm-pretending-to-be-OK-so-that-no- one-will-be-worried-about-me'_ OK?"

Raven smirked, "I'm so OK that if I wanted to I could send you off to Indonesia for all I cared."

Garfield chuckled then wrapped his arms around her, "That's my baby doll." He gave her a tight squeeze before releasing.

He stood up, dusting imaginary dust off of himself, then stretched out a hand towards her, his large green hands seemingly inviting. She cocked a brow at him, indicating that she was comfortable enough sitting on the cold floor and really couldn't be bothered to actually get off the floor and to stand up.

"C'mon, Raven." He said, his tone almost impatient.

Raven frowned; there was almost a déjà vu sense to his invitation, as if his tone of voice was familiar to that of a time before. His smile was welcoming and his aura was full of mischievousness and it longed adventure. She had an urge to say that his emotions were happy but she knew they weren't, it was more like the prologue to happiness, that feeling you get _just _before you truly become happy. She loved this feeling, sometimes even more than the happiness itself, because you just knew that something good was going to come out of it and that you couldn't stop it, no matter what you did. It was that anticipation in which you had just made a decision and didn't really know what to do with that decision and where it was going.

It suddenly clicked; _now _she remembered when she felt him feel like this. It was when they had their first _real _date—she didn't count the one before where they had to cut their date short because Plasmus was rampaging around somewhere in Jump City—and she had finally told him that she would like to take a chance with what she thought was a ridiculous prospect of a relationship. There was that rush that she felt from him when she had uttered those lips and it had made her own heart thud strangely and it all became centred into one silly little act that involved them crossing the street before the red light had turned on again. There really wasn't a single emotion to describe it but at the same time, plonking a million different emotions to describe that feeling didn't feel right either. It was merely—she nodded mentally to herself as she thought of this—indescribable and to be honest she didn't feel right in putting a word to it anyway.

"What are you planning?" Raven asked slowly.

He pouted, "C'mon baby doll." He reached out his hand once more, "We're goin'."

"Where?"

"Out." He scrunched up his brows, "Bowlin'. Yea, we're goin' bowlin'."

Raven frowned, "We can't just leave Kori alone…and what will Vic say?"

"Doesn't matter…and Kori can take care of herself. C'mon, you look like you need a bit of fun and bowlin's fun."

She paused for a moment, thinking on whether she should go or not before taking his hand and letting him pull her up so that she would stand.

"Fine." Her voice was deadpan but she couldn't help but feel a little cheered up inside, "But if I win—which I will—you're coming with me to the book convention coming next weekend."

He frowned exaggeratedly, "That's mean and you know what? I'm totally goin' to kick your ass in this whole bowlin' thing. _When _I win, you're goin' to play Mega Monkeys with me when we get back."

"Fine but don't count on winning, OK?" She smirked and gave him a sidelong glance.

"You wish, baby doll, you wish."

She smiled inwardly and knew that he was right; she needed a little bit of fun, something that she hadn't really experienced in a long time. She missed that sensation that came to you like a well earned sugar rush and she knew that if anyone knew how to have fun, it was Garfield, and to be honest, right now, she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because she knew that in the coming days she would have to make her decision and who knows? Maybe these memories that she had gathered with him would be all that was left of their relationship.

Their wonderful, unconventional and comforting relationship.

**A/N: Like it? Liiiiiiiiiiike it?**

**:grin:**

**Hope you did. I actually went bowling today, was loadsa fun.**

**See you all next time!**

**:hugs and kisses:**


	11. Lights, Camera, Action!

**A/N: Ahhhh...another day another chappie.**

**It feels tres awesomely good, I swear to God.**

**Seriously.**

**So, anyways, this chappie is like a little "break" from all the drama that has been going on and I've dedicated it to my underappreciated friend by the name of "fluff" because, friends, "fluff" is extremely powerful, so powerful that I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the power of it all.**

**So, yes, friends, fluff is the main genre of the day!**

**Wehey! That sounds like _Soup _of the day!**

**So anyways, read and enjoy...and don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 11**

Lights flickered. Cameras flashed. Music blared. Footsteps stomped. People chattered. Kisses were given. Colours swirled. Hugs were shared. Champagne was passed. Laughter tinkled.

"Is this the shit, or is this the shit, eh?" Vic grinned, elbowing Garfield in the process.

Raven watched slowly as Garfield grinned in reply, "This is the shit!" He laughed and threw his best friend a quick high-five.

Raven took a quick look around and had to promptly agree though admittedly not in quite those exact words. After the events that had happened three weeks ago, in an attempt to lift the mood up a bit more and also to support Kori, they had all decided—well not decided, _really_, Kori had gotten them the tickets after all—planned to go to Kori's first real name-brand catwalk after a series of smaller, not really well known fashion shows. And though they all knew that this was quite a big fashion brand having a fashion show in Jump City—Raven has dismissed it's name as she didn't really believe it was _that _important—but the three of them—Gar, Vic and herself—didn't know that the fashion party would be this _big_ and this _prestigious_; she even had to whip out one of her nicer clothes—read: one of the many dresses, albeit in dark colours, that Kori had forced onto her—to make herself feel at least as presentable as some of the people attending the occasion alongside the after party.

It wasn't as completely boring as Raven—admittedly—thought it would be. Sure it was all just a lot of people—namely reporters, photographers, editors, journalists, other fashion designers, fashion journalists, athletes, heiresses, actresses and actors, models who weren't working in this particular show, random important people—watching a bunch of models strutting down the runway with clothes on—sometimes ridiculous looking clothes; Kori had to wear some frilly black thing with things hanging from it that looked like silver baubles in the first half of the fashion show—but she had to admit that the show put on by the designers were quite entertaining and that even if you didn't enjoy the show half as much as the other people here, you enjoyed everything else; the drinks, the atmosphere, and the socialising.

Suddenly a voice piped up near her, "Sirs, madam, would you please sit down. The second half of the show is starting." She looked up to see a man in a suit indicating towards the seats.

With that the three of them scuttled back to their seats, located in the middle of the rows and so it was a bit inconvenient bumping into people's legs and apologising constantly because they all grumbled and shuffled around a bit to make room for them. Once they had sat down, it wasn't too long before the music started to blare again, accompanied by the many, many models walking down the runway like it was nobody's business.

Though it was still quite boring, all three of them found some sort of appreciation for the show; Vic and Gar were practically drooling at the models—it was a wonder both she and Jinx still tolerated these guys—while Raven found that the clothes weren't too bad and that they seemed to be quite wearable. This particular collection was inspired by the whole Goth-romantic movement that seemed to be influencing everything at the moment and was filled with dark palettes of colours accompanied by harsh, structural shapes though there was always some sort of girlie element to it, like dark roses or even frilly skirts. It made Raven think that maybe if they toned some parts of it down a bit, she would actually consider wearing them…_if_ she had the money that was needed to afford these kinds of clothes; the prices were ridiculous!

"Man, Gar, _check out _that one! _Oooooh_! She's smokin'!" Vic whispered loudly, pointing at a particular brunette with the most amazing figure on the runway.

Gar chuckled and then went on to point at a blonde, "Nah, dude, check _her _out. Now _she _is hot." Raven _swore _she could see saliva dripping out of his mouth.

"Seems like _she's_ pretty popular too." She pointed at another brunette and found him—to her amusement—flushing in embarrassment.

Raven threw him a swift glare that he seemed to catch, and went back to—at the very least—pretending to not admire the girls as much as Raven knew he did. She didn't really mind, actually, because there was no _way _in hell—scratch that—no way in any _dimension_ that she would lose Garfield in a way that involved some random—albeit completely gorgeous—model stealing him away from her…no way in _any _dimension.

As the models kept on coming, suddenly a flash of bright red caught her eye and she clapped appreciatively as Kori walked down the catwalk fiercely in a full length black and white dress that billowed gracefully as she stomped her way through the crowd, completely outshining all the other models in both charisma and beauty. Beside her, Gar and Vic whooped and roared like there was no tomorrow and Raven had half a mind to try to shut them up—since people were starting to look at them as if they had just escaped from a mental institute—but she stopped herself as it seemed that the cheering just made Kori more confident than before as her aura seemed to grow even happier, though Raven couldn't be too sure herself as the crowd made empathising with one person all the more difficult.

"Yea! Go Kor! Go Kor, it's your birthday, it's your birthday!" Gar whooped, alongside the strange hand movement that he made in order to support her.

"That a girl, Kor! You the _shit_!" Vic roared.

Garfield continued to clap and he rolled his fist in the air, grinning wildly, "Work it! Show them other models what you got!"

Raven rolled her eyes in her seat while noting that the photographers went wild with frenzy as Kori flashed them a grin with her fleshy lips, it was a surprise that Kori didn't go crazy with all the flashes in her face. Editors and journalists were scribbling frantically in their notebooks and people were exchanging whispers with each other as she walked passed in her extravagant gown, her expression _fierce_—as they say in the fashion world apparently—and yet not threatening in the least and her wide, green—only green in the irises, mind you, since she was wearing her contact lenses—bambi-doll eyes just oozed innocence while Raven knew that the look on her face was anything but. Raven was a bit worried for the designer, because there was no way—at least by the look of things—that the designer would get that much publicity from this show, this was Kori's spotlight all the way. She twirled like she was born to do it and though she was a tad bit more muscular than some of the models—OK, that was a lie, _most _of the models—there was just something that made you want to look at her constantly; it might be something to do with her _exotic _colouring…Raven wasn't sure what country Kori had told everybody that she was from but it must've been some small, miniscule country that no one had really heard of.

It was over though, after a while, and the designer had come out hand in hand with some other model who had been wearing the final piece while everyone applauded their hearts out and there were so many camera flashes that she was glad no one in the room—as far as she was concerned, anyway—was epileptic. The finale was extravagant with flower petals falling from the ceiling and the music blaring louder than it was before. Raven shook her head, she was glad that she wasn't involved in this world as Kori was; she knew that she wouldn't have been able to stand it.

"Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." Raven stated out of the blue.

Gar grinned, "Yay! Raven—I mean—_Rachel_ enjoyed a social function!" He clapped hyperbolically.

"You do realise the fact that I'm dating you does not give you any immunity from a public beating from me?" She raised a brow, a smirk almost forming on her lips.

"Burn!" Vic roared, laughing at Gar's flushed face, "You got burned by your girlfriend!"

"You're mean."

"And you love it, so deal."

She knew that he was surprised by her response by the way his aura suddenly flashed a different colour but left it at that, she didn't want to know anything that involved her thinking more than she had to, not tonight anyway; if she was forced into a dress and heels to a social function that she would—never in a billion years—go herself if she wasn't asked to, she was going to—_no_, had to—have fun if it killed her.

"So, when d'ya think Kor's gonna come out…I mean we can't actually go to the after party without her." Vic asked curiously, rubbing his hands together in an almost calculative way.

"She said a couple of minutes." Raven shrugged and placed her hands on her hips, "What's the rush anyway? The after party is right next door. It's not like it's going to be a big deal if we're late, we're nobodies here…remember?"

"But…but…we'll miss all the partyin'!" Vic whined, his dark brown eyes blinking a few times in an effort to show how impatient he was, "I need to party, I swear, I'm havin' partyin' withdrawals!"

A gaggle of people passed them quickly and none of them took a glance at them; to them they were probably no one, nothing, only guests who were lucky enough to get tickets to such a function. She liked that, she liked the fact that they could remain anonymous even with all the popularity they got from being part of the Teen Titans, it was nice to feel normal, even if it did involve one being shoved into a dress and forced to socialise with the most superficial people she had ever met.

"I have no understanding how Jinx can stand you." Raven shook her head melodramatically, "Talking about Jinx, where is she? Didn't you invite her to come too?"

Vic shook his head in reply, "_Nah_, Kori still doesn't know that I'm datin' her and everyone else in the world knows her as a criminal." He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "It's not like she really _is _one…OK…she kinda is…she calls it freelancin' an' all…and says depending on whether or not it suits her most she'll either be with the good guys or the bad…but still…she wouldn' like it here anyway." He looked down at the floor for a moment before looking back up again with a beam slapped on his face, "Too fancy, she'd say."

"Guess the pink hair wouldn't help with all the incognito and stuff, yea?" Gar asked sincerely.

Raven just stared at her boyfriend for a moment, "I'm not even going to comment on that." She brushed a stray hair from her face before turning to Garfield, "Gar, are you actually even _allowed _to go into that after party? I mean, they'll be serving drinks and you're still underage."

Garfield pouted, "A little champagne won't hurt…and _come on_, they'll be servin' good champagne and not that crappy stuff they serve at the clubs." She threw him an arched brow and she watched as his mouth worked slowly, "_Which _I _totally _never go to because I'm underage."

"Liar." She spouted playfully, though her tone was all serious.

"Spoilsport." He grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest, "Aw, _c'mon_, Rae…I'm frickin' _twenty_. I'll be twenty-_one_ in less than a year."

Vic suddenly interjected, "Don't worry, Raven, I'll keep the lil' guy under control." He slapped his large hands on Garfield's back and ignored the small whimper emitted by Gar completely.

"You do that."

"Do what, friends?" A chime-like voice asked innocently.

Raven turned to see Kori in her guise; she had completely abandoned the brown wig she used to wear so adamantly and now her contacts were green—though they were the same light, chartreuse green— instead of brown and though this may seem risky—since technically she had only changed her eye colour out of everything—Kori had figured out that people were never really close enough to get a good look at Starfire and for now she would be safe in this almost lazy attempt of a disguise. She had on a simple strapless black dress that fell mid-thigh, hugging every curve that Kori owned, paired with a pair of _extremely _high red heels and a pair of ruby red earrings; she looked—as Garfield would say—_frickin'_ gorgeous and suddenly all the remaining reporter and photographers seemed to think so too. Lights started to flicker again and questions kept popping up here and there like a broken radio and Kori handled it all like a pro with her smiles and her nonchalant—though awkward—way of speaking to others.

"Miss Anders! Miss Anders! Tell us, what are you wearing tonight?" A reporter asked and Raven saw him elbow his way through the crowd.

Another voice interjected, "How does it feel being the first Jump City model to walk the Miu Miu runway? And in your home city!" So _that _was what the brand was called, Raven _knew _it sounded somewhat like a cat being strangled.

"Will you be moving to New York now that your star seems to be rising?"

"Where _are _you from, Miss Anders? Is it true that you were a refugee before you became an American citizen?"

"What is your favourite food?" In which Kori obviously replied with the word _mustard_.

Kori was laughing and giggling throughout the bombardment and she answered each and every one of them as if she had been doing this modelling stint for years. Words tumbled out beautifully and confidently despite her broken English—though Raven had to admit that it had been improving throughout the years—and she lapped the attention all up like a sponge, well at least she was lapping it up until…

"Miss! Miss! We've been lookin' through old pictures and found some _very _surprising stuff. Is it _true _that you're dating Dick Grayson, heir of the Wayne Enterprises?"

Raven quickly looked to Kori as she saw her friend blanch and turn a sickly shade of pale. Both Garfield and Vic had turned to look at her too, afraid of what her reaction might be to that question, a question in which they were all not sure of either, let alone some random reporter from some trashy tabloid.

Kory shook her head though, took a defiant looking stance and looked at the reporter glacially, "Dick Grayson and I are very good friends but nothing more. Now, if it does the pleasing of you, my friends and I will be going to the after party. Good night and I hope that you found enjoyment in the show."

With that, she turned her heel and dragged the rest of them out of the function room and towards the rooms where the after party would be held, somewhere where reporters and photographers were _not _allowed in. It was a wonder that Kori didn't start crying or shooting her star-bolts at the reporter; Raven knew that even Vic and Gar were expecting some sort of melodrama and not this cool and—though defensive—nonchalant response that she gave to the reporters. It was relieving yet disconcerting at the same time, but Raven knew that there was a time and a place to worry over such things.

She went for it anyway, "You OK, Kor?" Raven asked, walking by her side and feeling a little foolish and embarrassed by her height compared to Kori's.

"It is fine; it is not their fault that their job requires them to be rude little klorbags." Kori flashed her a smile, radiating pure joy, "We should not do the worrying though, we are here to do the partying, yes?"

"I guess so, though it's not exactly my scene." Raven nodded slowly then pointed carelessly at Vic and Gar as they—well more Gar, really, Vic was just acting cool or whatever he did in preparation for the after party—jumped around getting all excited, "They look extremely excited though. All they talked about was the partying and the drinks and the models." She rolled her eyes as Kori giggled in response, "I know, Gar deserves a smack on his head for that but I think I'll be lenient for a night."

Another giggle escaped Kori's lips and it almost made her want to giggle alongside her too, but she stopped before she completely made a fool out of herself; Raven knew only too well that her giggle did _not _sound like a giggle.

At all.

The four of them sauntered into the party and once again Raven pondered on human's obsession with flashing lights and blaring music, it seemed oddly popular at all these social functions and she wondered—Raven rolled her eyes momentarily—why the hell she didn't like this particular scene.

Oh, right, it was because she wasn't some brainless fool who thought that drinks, music and dancing would bring utter joy to life.

She smirked to herself as that though popped up into her head.

There were people dancing and drinking and socialising, all the things that Raven did not really enjoy doing, though her three other friends dove right into the social scene and went their ways to do whatever it is that they did at these things. She, on the other hand, took a quick look around the place before deciding to head to the bar to get herself a drink; preferably something that involved tea in it.

She promptly sat down on one of those twirly high chairs and was almost automatically greeted by the bartender, "What would you like to drink, Miss?" He asked gruffly, and Raven had to giggle inwardly at the stereotypical bartender outfit that he wore.

"Ice tea?" She asked coolly, "Nothing with alcohol though."

The bartender grunted and went away to tend to her needs and she took this as an opportunity to observe the scene before her. It was a lively scene, she had to admit, and the pumping music just added to all the euphoric emotions that she felt racing through her veins right now. Her powers absorbed all the various emotions greedily, excited at the prospect of having so many emotions in just this one little—well, OK, not little…but…restricted…kind of—place that everyone was squashed in together. The music wasn't trance—she shook her head in disgust as she thought of that genre—but it wasn't really anything that she listened to, it was more mainstream except remixed by the DJ in a way that made the songs seem faster, dance-ier and more adrenaline pumped in the way that made people want to start moving; she herself couldn't stop her fingers from tapping the extremely catchy tune on the surface of the table.

"Here's your drink Miss."

He handed her a tall glass filled with light coloured ice tea strewn with various mint leaves, sliced lemons and chopped up strawberries causing her to roll her eyes; even the drinks were pretentious, she thought to herself, she had only asked for an ice tea and they had seemed to have gotten the idea that she wanted half a garden dunked into it. Nevertheless, she took a quick sip of it and frowned as she found that it tasted more like distilled water rather than actual tea.

Her indigo eyes scanned the room once more and she found herself smiling as she saw her friends enjoying themselves immensely; Kori was dancing her heart out with some guy—her hair flailing everywhere—Vic was talking to someone who looked like he could be an actor—he was good looking enough to be one anyway, and his hand gestures seemed to be a bit exaggerated—and Gar was air guitar-ing with a bunch of people like there was no tomorrow, _really_, she ought to try to talk to other people to diminish her boredom but it would probably be no use because apparently just looking at her scared the hell out of some people, or so they said.

"Hey babe, want me to buy you a drink?' OK, so someone _clearly _thought otherwise.

She turned stiffly to see a guy sitting next to her with a smirk that told her that he thought the world of himself; his black hair was clearly dyed and he was wearing eyeliner—or _guyliner _as all the magazines fondly called it—with his skinny legs stuffed into what seemed to be a pair of skinny jeans that had gone through a paper shredder…it seemed that he was trying to be _emo_—she rolled her eyes—and all but he was just trying so damn hard.

She lifted up her drink for him to see and raised a brow at him, "I'm pretty sure you have the eyes for it but if you don't, I think I should tell you that I already have a drink." She turned around once more to promptly ignore him.

"Well, then you could always trade it up for a dance."

Raven turned to him once again and shot him a glare, in which he—satisfyingly—responded with a flinch, "If you haven't noticed, or aren't smart enough to take note, I think I just rejected you before. So please go and bother some other damsel in distress before I decide to pour this really badly concocted tea on you." She hissed, not bothering to soften the malice in her voice.

Annoyingly, all he did was grin, in a way that made Raven think that he probably thought he looked quite charming or whatnot, "Feisty, huh? I like that in a girl." He chuckled to himself, causing Raven to snort in disgust, "You sure you're not just playing hard to get?"

"That would only happen in your wildest dreams, and no, you may not quote a chat up line that involves me featuring in your dreams or whatnot. Never in a million years would I be unintelligent enough to fall for such a clichéd line." Her tone was full of disgust but his emotions told her that he still thought that her malice was all just a joke, "And aren't you supposed to act all emo or something? Or is it all just a costume to get _close_," she lifted her fingers to form speech marks, "to _mysterious_ and _gothic _girls like me?" She hated those two words…they were just so generically associated with her when she clearly could not help being the way she was.

"Is it my fault that I find Goth girls hot?"

"No, but then again it's not really your fault either that you do not have the brains to acknowledge that _I _do not want to have anything to do with you."

Suddenly she felt a short fuse of anger grow inside of this…sleaze of a person and he started to point at her accusingly, his mouth all twisted with fury, "Look here, yea, all I wanted to do was buy what looked like a nice girl a drink and maybe have a few dances but you—!"

"What _about_ my girlfriend?" A rather boyish voice popped up from out of nowhere, causing Raven to smirk.

She found his hands interlock softly with hers as he glared defiantly at the guy. Raven shook her head, Garfield _really _needed to work on that glare of his, it wasn't as menacing as he probably thought it was. She was still pleased that he was standing up for her—though it conflicted with all her feminist beliefs—and she found herself imagining an amusing scene in which Garfield would turn into a whale and flatten him.

Cruel…but exceptionally amusing.

"Look, I'm not trying to start anything, yea?" Emo guy decided to defend himself, "I didn't know that she was your girl and I tried to get her a drink but _obviously _I had to pick someone who was a complete anti-social bitch."

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_ there!" Garfield grunted, his brows furrowing together, "You do _not _get to call my girlfriend," there it was again, she noticed, _that _word, "a bitch."

The guy just shook his head in irritation, "Whatever. You can have her back; don't think I like her as much anymore." With that he went off, probably to go and stalk on some other poor girl until _her _boyfriend came to interrupt the conversation.

Garfield seemed to start to make some threatening moves towards the guy but Raven thought that it wouldn't be such a wise move and laid a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and gave her what seemed to be a cross between an expression of anger—or at least the attempts of it—and helplessness in which Raven threw him a bemused look.

"Thanks." She smiled wryly.

"No problem." He raked a hand through his blond hair sheepishly, "You _sure _you don't want me to go beat him up?"

"I'm sure I don't want to see you hurt." She smiled playfully, arching a brow at him.

Garfield seethed through his teeth, "Don't worry; _he'd _be the one who got hurt. Fuckin' jerk."

"I'm not so sure." There was a playful undertone in her words but she knew that she was being serious too.

He grunted once but then stayed silent. Raven felt his inky blue eyes trace her figure to figure out whether or not she was physically hurt but as soon as he was done—for there was a feeling of satisfaction and relief in his aura—his gaze laid themselves conveniently on her face, his head slightly tilted in such a _Garfield _way, and it was making her feel a tad uncomfortable.

"What?" She asked rudely.

He tilted his head to the other side slowly before speaking, "You should smile more. It's a party; you're supposed to be having fun." His glance settled briefly on her ice tea then back at her again, "I mean it's no fun if you look like you're pissed over the fact that _that_," he gestured towards her tea, "is not good tea."

"You spend too much time with me." She said in mock disgust, referring to his ability to point out that the ice tea wasn't that great.

Garfield waggled his brows playfully, "That's what couples do." He made a face at her involving his tongue to stick out, "What I don't get is…why didn't you just leave your seat and go? I mean, he didn't look _too _crazy and stalker-like enough to follow you around the party. You could've just gone to me or somethin' instead of handlin' _that _on your own."

"You think I can't handle wannabe-emo guys on my own?"

He shook his head fervently, "No, no, of course I _totally _think you can…you just didn't _have to_."

Raven shrugged at him and placed her cold ice tea on the table, wrapping her own words around her mind before deciding to say them, "You were having too much fun." A pause, "I didn't want to spoil it for you just because I'm not too partial to these things."

"Oh."

He was looking at her with some kind of alien interest that she had never seen on him before and it was slightly disconcerting and yet at the same time it was extremely flattering. There were times when she felt that his overprotective nature irritated her and made her just want to flare up at him about it but sometimes it was good to feel like someone actually cared about her enough to attempt—being the imperative word—to threaten some guy who was probably twice his height, wore _guyliner _and looked like he could crush Garfield to smithereens with just one look. She flushed subconsciously to her self, ignoring his gaze, as the protective nature in his emotions grew, both flattered and self conscious at the thought of it.

His expression suddenly changed and he poked her playfully, a grin spreading on his lips quickly, "Wanna dance?"

Raven threw him an incredulous look, "Yes, I totally want to dance. Dance is totally my life purpose."

"_C'mon _Rae, someone who looks as gorgeous as you do tonight should be dancin'."

"So I don't look gorgeous every night?" She challenged.

Garfield pouted, "You _know _what I mean." He shook his head, not bothering to apologise about it as he probably knew that it would just end up in meaningless banter anyway, "The blue looks good on you." He stated sincerely.

She threw him another look but this time it was more half hearted as she felt pleased that at least _someone _liked what she was wearing, Raven herself didn't feel too comfortable in the gear that Kori had chosen for her. It was a simple navy blue shift dress that stopped just above her knees, accompanied by bell sleeves and a sort of ruffled high neck. She was also wearing a long black pearl necklace, black opaque tigths and a pair of black mid-high—or as Kori would say, _awkward_—heels with studs placed strategically on the heel of her foot. She was just glad that Kori didn't make her wear any of her frivolous dresses and tried to stick to dark tones when dressing her up—though there was a moment of insanity when Kori threw her a pink ruffly thing—and if it wasn't for Raven trying to support Kori, she knew that she would never _ever _in her life dress up quite so nicely or attend something like this ever again.

Yet that wasn't really the point—though she really did get flustered by his compliment; blue _was _her favourite colour after all—the real point was that he was asking her to dance.

She shook her head mentally.

No, that wasn't it either.

The point was that he was asking her to dance despite the fact that he _clearly _knew that there was no way in hell that she would dance…ever. So, OK, there was the time when they had their first proper date and she had even _moved_—read: shook her legs awkwardly—every time they had their annual New Year's Party attended by most of the Honorary Titans and the Titans East team as well but those were completely different situations and were categorised as exceptions.

So the question was; what the hell was he doing?

"C'mon…just one dance and I swear that I won't bug you for another one anytime soon."

She glared at him, her arms crossed across her chest.

"Please?" He pleaded, his lips protruding in what she figured was a pout, "For me?"

She sighed exaggeratedly, "Well I guess it would be a shame to pass up such an offer." She peered up at him through her dark lashes, "So, I'm to believe that you will never _ever _ask me to dance ever again?"

He grinned and she felt his spirits lift up a whole lot, almost bringing a smile to her face—a sincere one at that!—by the sheer force of it all. It was strange to feel actually, well, OK, not so strange but recently this sort of pure—she couldn't put a word to it—_happiness _and _anticipation _rarely appeared in his emotions, the childish—but not immature—way Garfield's feelings spoke to her. It was maddening that she could miss such a thing, but she did, she really, _really _did. That in itself was what attracted her to him in the first place and she would feel a bit sore if that feeling had dissipated because of the problems that had been constantly bombarding the Titans.

"Well…_never _can be _such _a big word to put your trust in…" He grinned devilishly at her.

"You _fool_." She sighed, concealing a smile from him, "I guess I'll have to trust _you _to keep to your word."

He took her hand and pulled her off her seat, "Don't bet on it, baby doll."

Subconsciously her feet followed him to the dance floor and she found herself surrounded by other—mostly drunk—partygoers moving around to the music like someone had stuck ants in their pants. It took her a while to get used to the overwhelming wave of emotions that seemed to come from every direction but after it had all settled in, she started to appreciate the euphoric sensations, though her disdain for the activity didn't lessen. His hand never left hers and they fiddled with her fingers for a while, tapping away to the music that pounded through the air restlessly and the erratic movements of his fingers felt odd…but nice…against her own fingers.

She started to move though her movements were stoic and lacked the natural rhythm that dancers had but she defiantly kept the fluster at bay as she continued to attempt to dance. A flicker of amusement was felt from her partner and she looked up at him to see that he was laughing; he wasn't laughing at her—well, OK, he was, she admitted, but that wasn't where the majority of the amusement came from…at least she thought it didn't—he was more laughing because of how much _fun _he was having, how much he was _enjoying _this rather eventful and yet extremely awkward attempt of a dance. He could dance and she couldn't and he was enjoying every minute of it. It was annoying but at the same time, she couldn't deny wholly that she was enjoying it too; maybe it was the fact that for once life wasn't so tense, or maybe her empathic powers were getting drunk with all the euphoria around her, but she sure felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

She snorted; _dancing _of _all _things was what had lifted it.

He spun her around swiftly and before long he had gradually—unbeknownst to her conscious self, the sneaky idiot—dragged her closer, close enough that he had his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. She half-heartedly attempted to pull away—since she whole-heartedly disagreed with the concept of PDA— but found it hard to do so on account that he smelled so good, so _like _him and that she was actually comfortable with the way that he was holding her. Love could do strange things; she thought wryly, strange things that caused people who disliked something, to then like it unequivocally.

_Love_…sigh.

As her thoughts pondered aimlessly on the concepts of love, Raven became conscious of the flood of emotions coming from Garfield specifically, a woven piece made from a sense of enjoyment, adrenaline, amusement, affection and love. It bathed her like a bright ray of sunlight that dimmed on some occasions but never really diminished completely and for once she fully appreciated the fact that despite the abundance of other—_way _more—attractive females, his attention was all on her. Exaggeration was not the case; she could literally feel his gaze on her even when she wasn't looking.

The song ended after what seemed to be such a long time—though Raven knew that it clearly couldn't have been more than five minutes—and though everyone else seemed to be keen on the dancing, she felt Garfield's arms slowly come away from her waist—to her disappointment, but she wasn't going to tell him _that_—and lean in closer so that his lips were beside her ear, his breathing slightly ragged and heavy from the dance.

"Wanna go somewhere else?"

He pulled away while she rose a questioning brow at him, "Where?" As much as social functions irked her, she didn't think going off to make out in some secluded place would be a much better idea.

He grinned amusingly at her as if he knew _exactly_ what she was thinking, "I don't _know_…out. I know you don't really like this place and all." His eyes lit up and she knew that if he wasn't wearing his holographic ring, she would see a pair of pointed ears jerk upwards as well, "How 'bout the teahouse? You know the one that we always go to?" His lips curled up at the corners so that his grin grew so Cheshire-like that it was almost creepy, "It's late now but I'm sure that place opens 'til like…_late _late." He stated as he took a quick glance at his watch.

Raven looked around the dance floor for a moment, tiptoeing to try to find her two other friends that were at the party with them, checking like a hen mother on whether or not they were fine or not. They seemed to be fine, Raven thought to herself as her violet eyes found them; Kori was dancing and flirting her heart out and Vic seemed to be doing pretty much the same, though she knew that he was being more careful with his actions because she knew that he would _not _like the consequences if Jinx ever found out, and so she made up her mind then and there, nodding silently to herself.

"Sure, why not?" Raven stated shortly, and she felt her heart spasm as his happiness went up, "Tea would be nice."

He threw a fist in the air in victory, "_Yes_!" He gripped her hand and led her off the dance floor, "let's get outta here."

"For someone who claims he loves to party, you sure are in a hurry to get out of here." Raven stated wryly, though a smile flitted briefly on her lips.

He chuckled, with that rather awkward tone of voice that he had—not quite high enough to be a girl's but not quite low enough to belong to a guy—and she felt that really annoying, yet delightful, spasm in her chest again, "Well, the parties can wait, I mean I _know _that they all want a piece of the great Garfield Logan but," he paused, and a devilish smile spread on his lips, his eyebrows waggling suggestively, "I want to spend time with you, I _need _to."

She hated feeling so soppy but she knew that she couldn't help it, especially since he sounded so _determined _when he was saying that.

"Plus, we haven't made out in ages." He winked at her, and poked a tongue at her playfully, "We should totally schedule a session soon."

She slapped his shoulder, not knowing whether to laugh and agree with him fully or whether to hurl insults at him and throw him her most disapproving look but as soon as her hand had left his shoulder, he was back to throwing that roguish grin at her whilst rubbing slowly at his shoulder.

That was Garfield Logan to you.

Soon they were walking out of the party—though they did spend a moment saying their goodbyes to Kori and Vic—hand in hand, and the music and the liveliness that had accompanied the party so avidly was slowly fading away into the background, leaving Raven and Garfield free to roam the dark streets completely—well, almost, it would've been slightly strange if there was _absolutely _no one else—alone. It was…_nice_…she realised that they hadn't spent too much time together since…_everything_—discounting the bowling session, that was the strangest two hours she had ever spent with him. She didn't really know how she had handled the embarrassment of losing against _him_—and that she, too, had missed it. It was embarrassing, and it made her sound needy and clingy, but it was the truth. No matter how weird—yes, that was the word—the whole concept of them being together was to others—and to themselves, she thought dryly—ever since they had gotten together, there was just something that made them click and…fit. Yes, there were moments when they argued about…well…anything—the use of the Titan Tower Lockdown button was one. _That _had turned into a fully-fledged spat in a matter of seconds. Seriously, did he _not _think that _'testing out' _the button would cause problems for everyone?—but what couple didn't argue? She was no expert on relationships but she thought she knew that a healthy relationship was bound to have a few quarrels here and there.

At least that's what all the trashy magazines had said.

There was just this—almost eerie—connection between the two that made all the immaturity, the arguments and the occasional awkwardness worth it all; he just _knew _her. Oh, _OK_, there were times when he didn't have a _clue _on what was going on in her life and had ended up momentarily insane by the amount of glares that she had given him, but it was the effort that counted, right? And when it came to effort, Garfield—despite the lack of enthusiasm he showed for his schoolwork—was all about effort, he was—in his own words—king of it.

Without realising it, they had walked all the way to the teahouse that he had mentioned before, and she inhaled the familiar scent of the tea leaves combined with the hot water wafting gently in the air. It was a warm and inviting place, filled with various books for one to read; she had spent a lot of time here—she still did, actually—being alone, finding her peace and the teahouse had always soothed her in a way that even her meditation failed to do. There was just something about places especially made for serving tea and books that made it feel sacred and safe. Maybe it was the friendly that knew when to strike conversation and when to keep their distance or maybe it was the fact that the tea here tasted so good that it was almost _unholy _to not have tried tea from here, but there was something about this small, secluded teahouse that made it feel like nothing outside the building actually mattered.

"Ah," a waitress approached them, one who was there regularly, with a big, jolly smile on her face despite the hour, "Miss, it's you!" Her smile broadened, "I haven't seen you in a long time and we were all wondering when you'd be back. You know…best customer and all that." She grinned toothily, her brown hair swishing from side to side in sincere excitement, "And you've brought_ him_," she said pointedly, "_lovely_ lad. Popular with the ladies, this one is. Cheeky though." She laughed raucously, "Went about making Jean think that she bloody had something on her face once, almost cried, she did."

Raven smiled, stealing a glance at Garfield who was blushing quite profusely, "It's nice to see you too Kate. I've just been busy; you know how it is, university and all that."

"I do, I do." Kate nodded vigorously, and then whipped out her notepad and pen, "So what would it be? The usual, Miss? Or something more adventurous?" She then turned to Garfield, "How 'bout you? Anything on your mind? Anything to your tastes?" She indicated at the menu on the chalkboard before looking Raven up and down swiftly, "Might I say, Miss, that you look _tres _splendid tonight. So very fine, just to come visit us…or are you two on a date?" She waggled her brows at them, "I see, I see." She said to herself, though no one had replied to her question.

"Chai please." Raven stated shortly, exhausted by the speed of Kate's speech, "And…?" She looked at Garfield.

He frowned for a moment, "I'll have…um…anything. Like, normal tea…you know the one I usually order?"

"Earl Grey?" Kate asked helpfully.

He nodded, "Yea…that." She watched as he glanced quickly out a window, "And would it be OK if we had it to go?"

"To go?" Raven asked, "I thought we were staying here."

"Yea, I thought so too but…it's a nice night and I thought it'd be nice if we just…y'know…walked."

"Oooo…midnight walks. _So _romantic." Kate cooed, "OK then lovebirds, just sit down and leave everything up to me and the tea will be up in a jiffy." She enthused.

They sat down, face to face on an empty table for two—though to be completely honest it wasn't _that _hard to find an empty table, it _was _late—and they both stayed silent as the soft melodies of various songs—both mainstream and indie—through the air. She leant her face on one hand casually, evaluating the almost solemn expression on his face, wondering what it was about. Garfield was never really seen as solemn—though she knew that he had his moments—and him being visibly solemn was a rarity, especially if his grim expression wasn't accompanied by anger. This feeling that she got from him was just…sobering…if there was such a thing. It was like having a hand dipped into lukewarm water; it didn't seem to have an effect on the hand but the neurons inside were probably creating brainstorms like crazy.

She remembered the last time that she came here; she had been alone, only with a single book in her hand and an incredible thirst for some strong, black tea. Raven was already with Garfield when she had come here last time—it wasn't that long ago!—but she had decided that it would be nice to have some alone time, to concentrate her thoughts only on a book she had postponed on reading for such a long time due to a busy month. She finished that particular book—if she wasn't mistaken, it was a copy of 'Steal You Away—and she had enjoyed it profusely, coming back to the Tower with one of her rare smiles, making her friends wonder why she was in such a good mood. The teahouse was always mood-altering, she realised, and it had its own brand of magic that she could feel now; heavy in the air but not unpleasant. She knew that Gar was feeling it too by the way he looked at her, and all she could do was give him a slight nod to indicate that she, too, realised the enchantment of this place. It wasn't literally magic, Raven shook her head mentally, but it was similar.

Their tea finally arrived and was served in Styrofoam cups—Raven frowned at the vulgarity of putting tea in a _Styrofoam_ cup. _Really_, now, it was quite disrespectful—and after a quick chat with Kate—reassuring her that she _would _come back soon—they said their goodbyes and headed to the quite streets. There was hardly anyone on the pavement alongside them and Raven relished the feeling of privacy that it gave her.

"You cold?" He suddenly asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Raven nodded, realising that even though it was to be spring soon—well, OK, a lie…there was one more months before spring really came—the air around them was freezing cold, and her breath created smoke-like figures that danced in front of her every time she exhaled. Yes, she was indeed cold.

He didn't say anything but she suddenly felt something warm wrap around her shoulders and she looked up to see that Gar had forsaken his coat and given it to her, an action that she was grateful for. His skin was flushed with the cold, especially around his cheeks and the tip of his nose, and he pursed his lips in a way that made Raven think that _he _was feeling freezing cold too. It was sweet, and yet she frowned; she did not want him to get hypothermia just because he didn't want _her _to get hypothermia.

She tugged at the right side of the coat with her free hand, "Share." She said simply.

He raised a brow at her, "It won't fit. I may be small but I'm not _that _small."

"I don't want you to get sick just because you don't have a coat on. We'll be one person short from the team then." Raven scolded, and once again thrust the coat in his direction, "So stop being so ridiculous and share the damned coat with me."

He flashed her a small smile before slipping himself into the coat and Raven realised he was right; it _was _too small for the two of them together. They were so close to each other that she thought that the body heat generated by them kept them even warmer than the actual coat itself, and she could feel the slow rise and fall of his breathing through his side. Almost automatically, her body leaned ever so slightly closer to his, and his body responded in the same way and so they were almost relying on each other for support as they both walked aimlessly through the empty streets. It was nice, _this _was nice, and having a hot cup of tea in her hands wasn't too bad either.

She took a slow sip, and sighed in satisfaction as she felt it slide down her throat, the warmth filling her up like she knew it would and the spicy aftertaste of it playfully lingering on her taste buds. Instinctively, she looked upwards at the sky, expecting to see a few stars but she didn't; it was completely clear out, dark and inky with no signs of any twinkling that stars usually did. It was strangely more appealing than seeing a bejewelled sky; there was nothing up there and the nothingness just enhanced the beauty of it all.

Their footsteps were loud against the pavement with the _clackety-clack _of her heels and the gentle _thud _of his converses, creating an odd rhythm for Raven to ponder on her musings while they walked slowly. It was a slow walk because they both knew that they weren't really going anywhere, and that they were just killing time, spending time with each other and such. To be honest, she didn't mind; sometimes she preferred these long random walks that they would frequent from time to time rather than actual dates. The spontaneity of it made it seem exciting—like a little adventure—but the length and the pace of the walks made the whole thing seem almost nostalgic and personal, _way _more personal than a walk should be, and the silence was always tolerable because it was always expected; they didn't _need _to talk and thus, they didn't.

"You know I heard that the new Mega Monkeys is comin' out next month." He grinned, interrupting their quite time together, "You think I should get it or would it just be a waste of money? I mean, I love them old school ones but I've, like, won every single one of them and I need more of a challenge." Apparently she was mistaken; he _did _indeed feel the need to talk.

She raised his brow at him, "I was thinking that we were having a bit of a moment, before you so kindly interrupted it." He made a face at her and she paused, "But, yes, I think that you should get that game." Another sip, "Apart from the obvious mind rotting elements that I highly disapprove of, I think that a new game might take your mind off things." She didn't say anything else, hoping that he got the implication.

"Wow, _Raven's _actually encouragin' me to buy a game." He grinned cheekily, nudging her with his hips, "Apocalypse, you say?"

"Oh, shut up."

"No, no, _really_." He chuckled and then finished his tea in one big gulp, "You would _not _have said that a year ago."

"Are you implying that _you _are the cause of this change?"

He adjusted the coat a bit and whistled lamely to himself, "I didn't say that." He looked up for a while, his expression strangely serious, "But it's not so bad, is it? I mean…change is good." He laughed.

She turned to him and found a slight twinkle in his eye that bewitched her, it was so innocent that she couldn't help but find it _completely _endearing, despite her nature in not finding _anything _endearing, "I guess not." Her tea was already half empty as she took another sip, "How was the tea?"

He shrugged, causing the coat to move ever so slightly, "Its _tea_."

"No other comment?"

"OK." He relented, "It's _really _good tea…but seriously, I don't get why you love this tea stuff so much."

She frowned, "Well, its tea. Tea is _always _good. Not much else that can be said about it." She stole a glance at him, quick enough to see one side of his lips curl into a smile.

"Seriously." The twinkle grew brighter and more mischievous, "One day I am going to swap one of your frickin' teas with coffee."

"You do that and I will actually hit you again. I don't do coffee; caffeine and I are not the greatest of friends." She flushed subtly as she remembered the first—and _last_—time she drank coffee.

He caught her flush and raised a brow at her, "Ooooo, I bet you went crazy or somethin' didn't you. Dude, I would _so _pay a million backs just to see what you're like when you're totally caffeinated."

She glared at him, "_Don't _even think about it."

"_You _said it, baby doll."

It was then that she realised how close his face was to hers and she had to turn his head aside to keep herself from blushing, or at the very least, visibly blushing to him. His breath was warm against her skin and even his own skin seemed to radiate some kind of warmth. He smelled pretty nice too tonight; it wasn't the overwhelming smell of cologne that sometimes he drenched himself with to avoid the whole wet-dog scent. Instead he smelled of something similar to fresh grass, especially when it was freshly cut in the morning and if she had to be really explicit about it, she thought that it was utterly _delicious_.

Raven felt him lean over and press his lips against the top of her head, giving just the right amount of pressure to be intimate but not too much that it felt like she _had _to kiss him back. It made the innards of her stomach seem to flutter annoyingly and she knew that Affection—she bit back her real name—must be relishing the feelings that she was currently experiencing and placing it in the back of her mind to rub it in Raven's face later on. It was completely done out of the blue but at the same time it was _such _a Garfield thing to do; to kiss the top of her head, to go out in the middle of the night for tea and to walk around sharing a coat…he was a mushy person, he believed in romance and the courting and such. She would never in a million years admit it, but she loved it…almost as much as she loved him.

"You know what?" He smiled at her softly, one of those rare smiles that showed his less boisterous side.

Raven shook her head, holding the hot tea in both her hands, "What? Any other inquiries about idiotic games or whatnot?" She replied, though it wasn't as scathing as she made it sound.

"Um, nah." He grinned, "Just wanted say that you smell…"

"Like cranberries, I know." _Really_ now, he must have some kind of psychological attachment to that fruit.

"Well, I love it." He chuckled and winked at her audaciously but then he paused for a moment, "I love you." He said abruptly, as if it just came into his mind to remind her once again.

He turned to look at her, as if expecting an answer of some sorts; he had said it so many times, told her and reminded her so many times that he loved her and yet she had never dared to reply him with the same, mirroring words. It wasn't that she didn't love him—she knew she did—but there was always a niggling feeling at the back of her head that told her not to say it, for fear that she would find out that everything that she had experienced with him was all but a dream and it would crumple delicately in her hands.

She looked straight ahead, not looking at Garfield, though she knew that he was looking at her quite intently, "I love you too." Raven said softly, mumbling under her breath so that he wouldn't hear, _hoping _that he wouldn't hear.

Subtly, Raven hid her fluster by raising her Styrofoam cup halfway to hide her face, letting the steam conceal her too. It was a strange and awkward moment of bravery, but she felt like it needed to be said, after all, Garfield had always quoted _Carpe Diem _and she had thought that it was the right moment to _Carpe Diem _her heart out.

He had heard, she realised, and the heat in her cheeks started spreading even more. He didn't tell her that he had heard but she could practically _feel _him beaming like a fool, like a ridiculous blimp of some sort. Her empathic powers weren't helping either as they picked up every ounce of happiness and joy and love and victory that was contained in him and slammed it back into her. It was at times like these that she felt her powers to be most inconvenient.

"_Dude_, you know what we should do when we get home?" Garfield smiled at her, once again turning back to the innocent sunshine child that people were most likely to meet, "We should _totally _make like a sundae! Like a _super huge _sundae!" He nodded enthusiastically at his own idea while Raven finished off what was left of the tea, "With bananas and chocolate and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and jelly babies…and gummy bears…" he licked his lips, "Mmmmm…and chocolate sauce and caramel sauce and strawberries and wafers and peanuts and…!" His eyes widened as he turned to look at her, "And we could eat it while watchin' Disney movies! I _swear_, you do not know how _long _it is since I've watched, like, _The Black Cauldron_. I mean, blasphemy, right? Coz, that movie _totally _rocks." His movements started becoming erratic but she knew that he was watching her quite attentively from the corner of her eye, "Or…we could watch _Little Nemo_. You know, not the crappy one 'bout the fish…the one 'bout that kid who went to Slumberland or whatever. I mean, awesome or what?"

Raven rolled her eyes, though grateful for the subject change, "Way to show your maturity, Gar."

He nudged her playfully, "You know you love it. I mean, _ice cream _and _movies_; that's what I call a top night, baby doll."

"If you say so…"

"But I _do _say so…!" He continued to enthuse.

Raven let him ramble on as they continued their purposeless stroll through the quiet streets of Jump City. His voice continued to fill her ears but she only replied when she felt like she needed to stop him from being too far-fetched or when she actually had some input that she wanted to share. The night had turned out different from what she had expected and it wasn't different in an unpleasant way, it was just…surprising…the way that things had turned out. Maybe things were pretty dark in the Titans Tower but she knew, at least she did now, that there was some sort of light for each of them and that light, no matter how brief, would give all of them some comfort. A soft smile reached the corner of her lips as she thought on her words, and how she had spoken them aloud despite of all her fears; it felt like a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders.

She looked up and saw the skies once more. It was inky, almost the colour of black with dark streaks of indigo blue weaving in and out of the sky itself. The sky was so blank that it seemed to be endless and the cool air just enhanced the strange, eerie feeling that she got from looking at the sky. And yet…and yet when she looked closer she realised that there—in the midst of all the black and blue—was a single star, dancing in all its glory, proud at its independence. And she smiled; a genuine, lip curling, eye brightening smile…

…well that was until Gar tripped and accidentally pulled her down, anyway.

**A/N: Ah, I love you guys, I swear.**

**Anyways I hope that you liked this chappie...but I shall have to clarify a couple of things with you:**

**1. I love fashion**

**2. I love the thought of Raven having a tea fetish**

**3. I love super sundaes**

**4. Disney movies RAWK!**

**Hardy har, so I hope I have not offended anyone with my chappie and I hope you enjoyed it and you reviewed it.**

**See you next time!**

**:hugs and kisses:**


	12. Blender

**A/N: She's back with a vengence!**

**Well...it's not much of a vengence but still...i think I did a pretty good job of this chappie.**

**I mean, OK, it's a bit jumpy in terms of plot but I like it.**

***chuckles nervously***

**I've also come to realise that I love ships that are ANGSTYxFUNNY.**

**Much love.**

**So hope you enjoy and review OK?**

***hugs and kisses***

**Chapter 12 **

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz._

Garfield cringed as he watched Raven ravage her victims savagely, some parts splattering on the walls violently.

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz._

He turned around slowly, trying to sneak a peek at Vic and Kori as he saw them turn a pale shade of green. Green was never a flattering colour on anyone but it looked even worse on them, he thought silently to himself.

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz._

It was vile.

It was disgusting.

It was totally, totally inhumane.

_BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!_

And he was so totally not gonna drink it.

She couldn't make him, could she?

Slowly, she stopped the blender and poured her evil concoction into two tall glasses before—to his relief—placing them in front of his other two friends. They blanched visibly and he did too; the damned drink looked like it was made out of the innards of somebody and it was so gloopy and _brown _that it might as well have been vomit.

_Shudder_.

He pinched his nose as the scent entered his nostrils and gagged at the thought of what it must taste like, taking note that he would never ever let her cook for him in the future, near or not.

"And I thought Kori had her talents in the kitchen." He joked weakly.

Raven glared at him, tapping her fingers impatiently on the dining table, her other hand formed a fist that rested on her hip, "Shut up." She shook her head to herself, probably _tut_-ing him mentally, "It's for their own good. If they didn't have so much to drink last night then I wouldn't even _think _of giving this to them."

Vic and Kori stared at the drinks expectantly, probably wanting to know if it would somehow come out and attack them or something. They looked up simultaneously and widened their eyes at Raven to no avail.

"Drink it." Raven stated, making that simple sentence sound like a threat while she placed two aspirins each in front of them.

"But—!" Vic started, to which she cut off with a dark glower.

"Drink it or I swear by Azar you will both not see the light of day." Raven stated before turning around to pour the remaining drink in another glass, "And don't think that just because I'm not looking, I won't know if you've drunk it or not. So, drink."

"Fine." Vic lifted the glass halfway in the air before chugging it all down, some bits of the drink splattered messily on the table before popping the aspirin in his mouth. He gagged and choked after the glass was finished, but after a while, he calmed—to a degree—and all was left to mark his consumption of the drink was the fact that his human eyes was very, _very _red.

Kori and Garfield looked at him, wondering what he would say next. It couldn't have been too nice by the way that he was tapping his stomach slowly.

"Damn, girl, what the hell is in this shit?" Vic exclaimed finally, his face going red.

"I wouldn't want to know if I was you." She smirked but then went all serious again, "I wouldn't want you puking all over the floor for someone else to clean up. Unless you'd like to do the honours."

Vic shut up then and shook his head, glaring at the empty glass in vengeance, "Man, I'd like to know who made you frickin' Mother _dear_."

Raven twisted her mouth in disdain, "Well, if I wasn't Mother _dear _then you'd both be lolling about in your beds with headaches the size of Jupiter, complaining about it and grabbing the first cup of coffee that you see." She shrugged, "Which is completely wrong since coffee just makes you all the more dehydrated, and you can't afford to lose any more water." Garfield watched as she licked her lips subconsciously, "We have jobs, you know, and having the Titans not be able to defeat the criminal because of dehydration and migraines isn't going to help anyone."

Garfield looked at Kori and saw that she was looking ever so slightly frightened, but her head kept going to her forehead, as if trying to slam the headache out. She took a considering look before moving her gaze onto Raven as if she was trying to telepathically plead with her. Her fingers visibly shuddered and they moved slowly towards the glass under Raven's watchful eye.

She paused, "Please, friend, is there no other more…um…_pleasant _way…?"

"Not one that's as effective." Raven grumbled, "And I don't believe all that 'Hair of a Dog' nonsense. Really, now, more alcohol is not going to cure the hangover that's caused by the alcohol in the first place." Her tone was so matter-of-factly that it didn't seem possible that she was demanding for Kori to drink that _thing_, "Now drink."

Kori whimpered momentarily before grabbing the glass with both her hands and stuffing the liquid down her throat. She shuddered as the liquid went down and her eyes widened quite dramatically. Kori hastily threw the aspirin in and bit down on it really hard, chewing with all her might; she seemed to be trying to make the bitterness of the aspirin override the disgusting flavour of the drink, and by the crude expression on her face, he knew it wasn't working. It would've been completely funny if Garfield was not so disgusted right now.

Well…it was still a little funny actually…

Kori burped in the most unladylike manner and whimpered, "Well…that was most unpleasant."

Raven just nodded to herself before she took away the empty glasses and placed them in the sink. As she washed those glasses, he took it to himself to pretend to be puking to see how green Vic and Kori would turn with that vile concoction in their stomachs. It was actually amusing how sea foam could be such an unbecoming colour on people who are not actually meant to be green.

Suddenly a glass appeared in front of her, half full with the drink, "No…way." Garfield shook his head, his jaw hanging open, "I don't have a hangover. I'm fine."

"Look," Raven started, pressing her fingers to her brows, "I know that you went out for tea with me last night and that's all good but you _did _drink and you _might_ get one later on. This is a just-in-case drink."

"Nuh-uh. No way am I risking my life." He growled and hissed, pointing at the drink, "I mean look at the stupid thing! It's like frickin' _evil_!"

"it's not evil, but I can be. So drink the damned thing already."

They glared at each other for a while and it turned into a full-fledged glaring contest. Obviously she was winning—he thought that she must practice in front of the mirror sometimes. No way can someone be _that _good at perfecting the art of the glare without some practice—but he kept his ground…for a while anyway. Soon, he gave in and snatched the glass violently, holding it to his chest but keeping his fingers away from the rim of the glass; he wasn't sure if his fingers were going to burn to bits or not.

"Fine." He grumbled, looking away from her in a dramatic fashion, "I'll drink your poisonous potion."

"It's not poisonous." She drawled shortly.

He shook his head, "Whatever you say. I just wanna ask somethin' though."

"What?" She asked shortly.

"Well no need to get rude, baby doll." He winked at her, "I just wanna know…why can't you just use your magic thingy to heal us?"

Raven crossed her arms across her chest before heaving a sigh, "Because I'd rather not have a hangover for the rest of my life." She frowned for a moment, "Now, are you going to drink that or do I have to force it down?"

He didn't say anything and for a moment he felt ashamed—she had never told anyone what she did with their injuries when she healed them and he had an inkling that this was the most information she would tell anyone about it—but then felt it dissipate as soon as the liquid touched the tip of his tongue. It was as disgusting as he imagined, more disgusting in fact—if that was even possible!—and it tasted like he had thrown up and stuffed it all back into his mouth again before repeating the throwing up and eating again. His ears twitched wildly and he had to throw his hands in front of his mouth to stop himself from puking; it was _that _vile.

"By Azar, Garfield, no need to exaggerate." Raven rolled her eyes as she took the glass away.

He choked, "Not exaggerating."

Soon enough they had all proceeded to raid the fridge to eat whatever junk was in there for breakfast. Breakfast was important and no matter what happened—or how late it was, in this case—they always had their breakfast—admittedly, breakfast had been mostly distorted by the lack of adult supervision in their teen years—and it was a discipline that had been kept throughout the years no matter what happened; it signified the beginning of a new day. Currently, though, Garfield secretly hoped that his new day did not taste as bad as the leftover pizza he was eating did; he did not even want to _know _how long it had been in that refrigerator for.

Well, that didn't really matter actually, he was too distracted by the scents of the kitchen to even bother to get up from his chair and rummage through the blue stuff in the fridge to find some decent food. There were so many scents around him that he was surprised that no one else could smell them; the scent of the lazy morning air, the scent of the leftover foods and, of course, their own scents. Each of them had a different and distinct scent to them and, funnily enough, none of them actually matched their personalities, though, at the same time, you could say that they matched too well; Kori smelled like a brand new car, Vic smelled—weirdly enough—like custard pie and Raven…_well_…she knew as well as he did that he thought that she smelled of cranberries…

_Always_.

It was so delicious and insatiable and so frickin' sensual that the scent drove him _crazy _sometimes. Maybe it was something she used but he doubted it; there was something in that scent that told him that it was embedded deep into her skin, so deep that no matter what happened to her—if she was thrown into mud, if she never washed again, etc—she would still, undoubtedly, smell like red, ripe and shiny cranberries. Whenever he was close to her, the scent left Garfield a little dry in the mouth, but in a way that just made him crave the scent even more and it reminded him of the Golden-Age Hollywood stars that just completely _oozed _sensuality. He couldn't get enough of the juicy flavours that sprang into his mind when he caught her scent and he had to do _everything _to keep himself from trying to eat her because of how good she smelled.

There were times when the scent was heightened and when it was barely there, though, and today, the scent was deliciously strong; mouth-watering and scrumptious and he had a vague idea of why, grinning mentally as the memory came back to his mind. She had told him that she loved him—finally!—she had told him, however quiet she was, that _she _loved _him_. Raven Roth _loved _Garfield Logan, and it was the best, most fantastic, feeling in the world. He still couldn't believe it, and he kept pinching himself to see if he was dreaming or not but after an extremely bruised arm, he had come to realise that he did not have any drunken hallucinations and did actually hear her say that she loved him.

It was fucking _awesome_.

He had wished and wished for it, praying and begging to whatever forces—he himself wasn't sure that the big guy and the whole life-after-death thing existed but Raven was completely adamant about it—was up there for Raven to come out and say it, he had also wondered if she was ever going to say it and even despaired at the idea that she didn't feel the same as he did, as strongly as he did. But…but now it had all worked out and she loved him…he still couldn't get over the shock of it all! The idea was enough to send him doing cartwheels everywhere he went and he had played the scene over and over again in his head and at the same time, wondering why no one had come to burst his bubble like they always did.

He saw her look at him weirdly, and understood that she had sensed his sudden change in emotions; but he really didn't care. She could go on looking at him like he was a loon for all he cared! It was just that…he didn't like being too mushy and romantic and all but…this feeling that burst inside of him was just completely indescribable and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

She raised a brow at him.

He grinned.

Raven's mouth contorted in confusion and his heart thumped that random, completely syncopated beat that it did on so many occasions when he found himself falling completely in love with Raven again. It was—as Kori would say—glorious.

Her brows furrowed and he continued grinning like a madman, winking at her once and wondering how she did not just see his heart leap out of his chest in a bloody mess, all red and thumping and weirdly shaped. He was smiling so much that the corners of his mouth started to twitch in pain, but it was a good pain, a happy one.

Suddenly, his nose detected that her emotions had changed too and it was somehow…embarrassed. He peeked a glance at her and was surprised to see her all flustered while picking at her fruit salad randomly; she had realised what he was thinking about. He beamed at her—to which he earned a scowl—and found him remembering how cute she looked as she spoke those words so quietly that it was almost impossible—except for these brilliant ears he owned—for him to hear—as if she was confused on whether she wanted it to be audible or not—and she had quickly tried to conceal her flush by hiding behind Styrofoam and steam. He had salvaged their awkward moment alone together by suggesting the miracle cure of super sundaes and Disney movies; two things that he knew no one in their right mind could refused.

Surprisingly, she had agreed, and after her confession they had walked back to the Tower—slowly though; Garfield knew how much she enjoyed their long walks together—side by side, talking about whatever it was that came to their mind. They made super sundaes together—though, admittedly, he did most of the work as she just watched and suggested—and had spent the whole night watching 'The Black Cauldron' and 'Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland'—two completely kick-ass movies that if you have not seen then you should be shot dead—and they had fallen asleep on the couch, only to be woken up the next morning by loud groans and moans about their headaches. It was a good night, nonetheless, and a night that Garfield was sure to remember. Of course, some making out would have added to the brilliance of the night but he wasn't disappointed by how things turned out.

Well…a little disappointed…some making out would've been nice. It _had _been a while since he purred in her ears…

Quick as a flash, Garfield saw from the corner of his eye, Raven glare at him.

_He was kidding_!

Kinda…well…mostly kidding…

Um…

Another lethal look was sent and he gritted his teeth.

Seriously! _Kidding_!

He looked down for a moment and stole another glance and to his relief, Raven had gone off and started to discuss—well more like _berate _from what he could see—with Vic and Kori the benefits of having everything in moderation, especially alcohol. At the very least, that's what he thought they were talking about anyway, he wasn't really paying much attention and he didn't care.

It was stupid of him to have worried anyway; he knew as well as the others did that she couldn't communicate telepathically with others—in exception to Dick—unless she tried really, really hard and had enough energy to spare. That wasn't the point though.

She loved him and he loved her and everything crap that had been going on seemed to feel much, much, _much _less like crap. It wasn't that he had forgotten all the OC-esque drama that had been going on lately but it seemed to be number by those three tiny little words—technically four since she was replying to his own 'I love you'—and everything seemed to be much, _much _brighter than it was before.

God, it felt good.

Life was so good that he was going to start singing some High School Musical songs if no one was going to stop him.

He was happy, happy, happy, happy, _happy_—

"Gah!" Raven was suddenly next to him, whispering quite fiercely that if Vic and Kori weren't having some huge discussion about the differences between human and alien technology, he would've thought that they'd heard Raven right now, "Stop it! Stop being so damned _happy_." She hissed, "Just because I said…" she lowered her voice, "you _know_…last night…"

"Nope." He beamed at her, squishing her in a hug that could easily equal Kori's, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, stop it, will you?" She snarled, but it was so funny that he couldn't take it seriously, "All this is disturbing my psyche. A little maturity never hurt anyone." She stated stubbornly.

"The word mature was never intended for anything except wine and cheese. Ah, good old Bordeaux 1904." He sighed dreamily to himself, "But, whatever, being mature isn't as tasty."

Raven frowned, "That was almost witty." She stated sullenly, "But, seriously, will you _please _keep the happiness down a bit?"

"Why?" He asked sincerely, clearly confused on her point, "Is the happiness bad?"

"No…but it's bad enough that I already can feel some remnants of their," she nudged her head towards Vic and Kori, "hangovers but I don't need your over-excitable bundle of happiness making it worse."

"So…you'd rather have their headaches over my genius, love-filled happiness?"

"No." She stated shortly, "I just need…I just need some head space, OK?" She furrowed her brows in a way that was so, so, so adorable.

"So, you do admit that my happiness is totally awesome." He impersonated Mr. Burns, tapping his fingers against each other, "_Excellent_."

"Great." She rolled her eyes, "Now I know that I need to confiscate the remote from you for at least two weeks." Raven smirked, "Now, really, tone it down, OK?"

"OK, baby doll, since you look like a sick puppy." His grin grew wider, "I love you."

Her eyes widened in surprise but then gradually softened, "You mushy, over-romantic, idiotic fool."

"Say it."

Raven raised a brow at him, "No, who in their right mind would say it now, in here, in front of others?"

"They're not listening, they're arguin' 'bout who's more special; the T-car or Silkie. Trust me,it's gonna take them a while to figure that one out."

"Still, I refuse."

"Aw, I'm hurt." He mock stabbed himself in the hurt, "C'mon baby doll, you know you want to."

"No, not really." The corner of her mouth twitched and she smelt amused.

He leaned in closer, "Just once, you know, for memory's sake."

She looked up at him incredulously, "_Memory's sake_? I just said it last night, didn't I?"

He grinned, "Potato tomato. _Say it _or I'll…" he leaned in closer to that only their sweet breaths created a barrier between them.

"Oh no, you don't. Not now, not here. _Later_."

"Well you could simply just avoid it by saying it…" He teased.

She glared at him, "I am warning you Garfield Logan, I will—"

Oh, he _liked_ being sly, it was one of the perks of dating Raven Roth, "What? Throw me out of the window? Slam me into the ceiling? Been there, done that baby doll."

"Why you—!" She fumed before he interrupted her with a kiss.

It was a short kiss, and so sweet that it tasted like candy apples. It was nothing like the heady and passionate kisses that they shared in private, the ones that they took whenever an opportunity or a dark corner came up. It was so short that he didn't give her a chance to respond, and instead smiled wickedly against her lips. Raven had always been stingy with her kisses—though when she did kiss…_God_! It was like and explosion of…_something_!—and it felt funny to draw back from her, but he did anyway, to save any further embarrassment; she was turning into the colour of a tomato…_that _couldn't be too healthy…

Raven's eyes widened and he heard a loud crash from behind him.

Well…_that _wasn't good.

He pulled away from her and turned around to see what she had broken, "Well…there goes the microwave."

"Agh! My eyes!" Vic laughed, slapping his hands onto the table, "God, get a fuckin' room, why don't you? I just ate my breakfast and I don't wanna throw it all up."

Kori elbowed Vic, throwing him a reproachful look, "Vic! It is not proper to make fun of the acts of stolen kisses. Honestly, friend, do you not find it endearing?" She sighed, a soppy smile on her face.

"Endearing? _Maybe_." Vic grinned, chuckling all the way, "Awkward? _Damn straight_." The grin grew wider, "Not to mention that it causes me to fix a lot of things." Raven glared at him, "Not that I mind. Though that _was _a new microwave."

Kori flew over to them and squished them both together in her trademark Kori hug, "I do not mind that our appliances are frequently broken. It is _oh so_ endearing that you two are _oh so_ in love. It is like having a marshmallow, mustard and banana sandwich, no?"

Garfield smiled, "Yea, exactly like that."

He glanced at Raven and found that it took her a while to recover from the shock of the kiss; it wasn't that he had never kissed her before—of course not—he figured it was more that his response to her threats was so light hearted and that the fact that she had told him that she loved him didn't scare him away and it didn't seem to change a thing. Well, of course it didn't change anything, that would be _really _stupid if it did, and as serious as they might feel for each other, Garfield knew that keeping it casual was the only way Raven would feel comfortable and not awkward about her confession. At least he was going to keep it casual on the _surface_; there had to be some sort of commitment for each other that didn't have anything to do with the physical side of things.

Raven opened her mouth slowly, working it like she had never used it before, "I believe that there is nothing to gawp about here. Isn't there some kind of training we're supposed to do or something?" She flushed briefly but regained her cool composure in an instant.

"Ooooh." Vic chuckles rumbled through the air and his ears reacted by twitching, "_Someone's _getting shy."

"_No one _is getting shy." Raven said sharply, "I just appreciate privacy, that's all."

Their friend continued to guffaw in hilarity, "You appreciated it so much that you didn't get a room." She glared at him again and Vic bit her lip to stop another laugh from coming out, "Joke, joke."

"Hilarious."

Suddenly Vic stopped laughing and cleared his throat, "But seriously though, talkin' about privacy, I need to talk to you about somethin' in private." The words were said seriously and it piqued Garfield's interest, wondering what they were talking about, "I mean we don't need to talk about it now…but you said that you wanted to know about it ASAP." What _was _this _it _they were talking about?

Garfield watched curiously as Raven pondered on this for a while before a simple understanding seemed to pass between them. She simply nodded with the oddest expression on her face and glided her way out of the kitchen—Vic trailing behind her slowly—without even a word to either Kori or Garfield—hmmph!—but he was glad that she regarded him by the gentle sweep of her soft hands against his knuckles. Man, if there was someone who knew how to make someone _green _feel invisible, it was Raven, but he was glad that she had left some remnant of her on him, even if it was just the tips of her fingers brushing against his rough, calloused skin.

He sighed and looked to the door, a crooked smile attached to his lips; he was glad that she loved him—he really was! He was frickin' ecstatic about it!—but the way she just left reminded him that she did not let anyone in easily and the fact that she had declared—well _that _was a bit of an exaggeration—her love for him meant that she had put a lot of effort and time into it; the declaration may have been spontaneous but the build up to it wasn't, not really anyway. There was also the issue that getting in wasn't so easy but getting out was easier than making toast, and that sure as hell was easy. It was just that she had trust issues and as awful and restricted as they may sound, he didn't ever want to change them; Garfield Logan never backed down from a challenge!

Well, unless it involved Teletubbies…those things were just creepy.

He chewed his pizza, not tasting the staleness of it while his jaw moved unconsciously on its own, teeth grinding at what he thought might be mould. He looked to his right and saw Kori digging in heartily into her bowl of Greek yoghurt, lettuce and cherries—he shook his head—looking way better than she was a while ago; it seems that Raven's stuff worked, however impossible that may seem.

"So, us two alone again, huh? Think the Big Guy up there is tryin' to say somethin'?" He joked weakly. His ears still pricked up to try to hear what Vic and Raven could possibly be saying to each other.

"This Big Guy is what you Terrans call X'hal, is it not?" Kori asked seriously and she placed her fork gently by her plate.

"Um, I guess." He raked his hand through his hair.

She pondered on this for a moment, her lips pressed together in contemplation, "Then, I do not think so. X'hal would not do such a thing; your heart belongs to dear Raven and by the fact that you have been looking like Silkie after a hearty good meal, I would say that her heart belongs to you as well." She smiled, the fleshy lips spreading out thinly, "Tell, me, was it last night after you departed that she confessed her love to you?" her smile was teasing, like a big sister to her younger brother.

Garfield suddenly felt a little sheepish, "_Maybe. _Wouldn't _you_ like to know." He teased back, chuckling nervously, "How was the rest of the party anyway? I'm guessin' that I left when things started to get good?"

Kori giggled; covering her mouth with her fingers, "It was the most…"she paused for a moment, flushing quite a lot through her golden skin, "awesome. I have not done the partying in what seems like such a long time. I am _so _glad that you all agreed to come, it would have been strange if you did not."

"Ah, Kors, you would've been _fine_. You're like a total social butterfly." She looked confused at his statement and he slapped himself mentally at this, "Ah, forgot, no metaphors in front of you."

"I am _learning_." Kori pouted briefly, twirling her red ringlets between her fingers, "I made so many new friends there and…connections. It seems that I have made an impression on these...um…designers of fashion…three have already asked me what agency I am in and if I am busy for the rest of the week. I am to be booked!" She clapped her hands gleefully, "What did you think, friend Garfield, of my walking down the runway?"

In reply he raised two thumbs up, grinning so widely that his teeth were getting dry, "It was hawt. Like _hawt_ with an _A _and _W_. Seriously, Kor, I don't know why you didn't get into modellin' sooner." He shrugged, "There was no frickin' contest between you and the other models. Serious hotness was goin' on then."

"Glorious." She sighed happily, "I felt a little uncomfortable…like a _jorkra_…but when the lights were flashing it was just such…it is a _wow _moment, as you would say."

"Glad you've found somethin' that you're good at. You know, apart from beatin' up bad guys and stuff." He grinned cheekily and took a sip out of the glass of milk he was holding, "The future to me is kinda foggy, can't really imagine it, you know?"

Kori nodded slowly, the smile slipping from her lips, "I understand, friend. Things have not turned out as I would have them to but I believe that it was all for the best." She heaved a sigh, looking away for a moment, "By x'hal, not at all…not at all." Her scent was none too pleasant at the moment but when she turned to look at him again, her eyes were bright as if she had not been contemplating other futures, "Enough about me, how are your studies friend Garfield? Are they going well? Raven has not been reprimanding you as of late about your studies, so it must be going well, yes?"

Garfield paused at this question, his fingers scratching at his ears subconsciously. His studies; he had not neglected them—no! Raven would personally _murder _him if he did—but with all the drama and the burdens, he wasn't taking it as seriously as he usually would, and in consequence, he wasn't doing as well as he usually did. He had taken a zoology major and as easy as that was—for once he wasn't exaggerating. He may not be the best in the class but being able to morph into animals helped…_a lot_—balancing it with a minor in drama and theatre while being on the Teen Titans was no easy feat and right now he _totally _envied Raven who could take her classes online; _he _had to squeeze in classes between all the fighting crime stuff that they did and if he couldn't fit it all in, he usually missed _way _important classes, which kinda sucked seeing as though some of the stuff they were learning was _really _complicated and wordy and catching up was such a hassle; the professors _hated _being badgered about assignments and stuff like that.

The drama and theatre minor wasn't helping him that much either, but it felt considerably lighter since he _really _liked the stuff they were doing—right now they were studying Shakespeare's 'Much Ado About Nothing' and were planning to perform it in the end of the academic year. Seriously, the play was frickin' _hilarious _and he was _so _psyched about playing Benedict; the man was frickin' awesome!—and so it felt more like a hobby or a club rather than something he would actually be marked on. Plus his drama professor told him that he had some talent and that just made Garfield grin like a lunatic at the prospect that he _might _actually end up as an actor, like he had always dreamed of.

Finally, Garfield chuckled, "It's…not goin' as well as I want it to be and Raven's been too distracted by stuff to even try to shout at me. We're gonna perform soon though so that's gonna be great." His gaze slid towards the door, "What do you think they're talkin' bout, eh?"

"To be completely honest, I do not know." Her own gaze followed his and her brows furrowed together in concern, "Maybe it is about this lady love of friend Vic's or something medical in which Raven has inquired, but I truly do not know. It seems to be important, though, Vic had the serious face on despite having the hangover."

"Yea…" He lamely shrugged, obviously still curious, "Kor, as much as I hate his guts right now, don't you ever—?"

Kori cut him off, glaring at him sharply, a glare that could match Raven's, "Don't. _Do not_. I am happy." She gritted her teeth; she sure didn't _look_ happy, "He is happy." She fumed at him and he backed away a little, "And we are friends. We did not separate with the best intentions, but I believe that we are still friends."

Garfield bit his lower lip nervously, "I was just…"

"I know." She suddenly turned weary, all that passion seemed to have been drained right out of her, "It is just hard, but I am coping. It is even harder that you and friend Raven seem to be at your happiest and I am not but I do not blame you on that either." Kori pushed her plate away from her slowly, "Maybe…_friend _Dick had a point, we have become too reliant on each other and it seems that we have forgotten what it was like to function without one another. That is why I have the jealousy for you and Raven; you understand the boundaries when we did not." Sigh, "I am weary but…there is some odd sense of freedom from this separation. I admit I do love him, still, even after the bad words and feelings that had been exchanged and I believe that he, at least, has _some _sort of affection towards me, some remnant of what was. And so I am _kinda _glad that this _break _has happened; I just do not know what will happen when he comes back…_if _he decides to come back."

"He better not," He growled subconsciously, "or I'll punch the livin' daylights out of him."

Kori laughed weakly, "Oh, friend, you are ever so adorable when you attempt to protect me." She stopped for a moment to take a sip out of a glass of water, "But, friend Garfield, he _must _come back, it is inevitable. However unwilling he is, he _will _come back because he has a responsibility." Another weak laugh, "And we all know how it is that friend Dick is with responsibility. And when he does come back I will…I will not welcome him with eager smiles and willing hugs—no matter how much, dear x'hal, I would want to—but I will welcome him back with polite manners and a sense of duty because…well because, friend, we are a team and through the thick and the thin—as you say?—teams always do the sticking together."

There was a pregnant pause between them and neither of them bothered to put in the effort that would keep their conversation going; it was just too—as Kori had stated—wearisome…tiring…it made his frickin' head hurt. Seriously, maybe it was—as Raven had said again and again—that they were all just struggling with the concept of adulthood and that's where all the problems were rooted and, really, it kinda made sense because he couldn't remember this much drama when they were still in their teens, which was pretty ironic because weren't the teen years supposed to be the most dramatic years of your life? Like the stuff that happens in Gossip Girl and 90210 mostly happened to teens. Sure the drama was usually because someone was wearing the wrong thing or whatever but it was still drama nonetheless; seriously, someone should make a TV show from the Teen Titans, they were jam-packed with drama!

Then there was the problem with Dick; the antisocial, stubborn jerk with the tendency to boss people around—though that was natural since he _was_ the leader of the Titans—like there was no tomorrow. It was like he was going through some weird puberty type thing and was PMS-ing like a girl and there was no stopping. Dick had always had two identities and they were always interchangeable and so convincing that no one really knew which one was the real one and which one was the face he put on when he was being watched. Firstly he was Nightwing, formerly known as Robin, he was hard as stone, super smart and intuitive and he did the most awesome back flips known to man. But at the same time he could turn into Dick Grayson; ward of Bruce Wayne and notoriously as much of a womaniser as Bruce Wayne was and as generous. It was confusing and recently, with all that was going on, Garfield was sure that the lines between Nightwing and Dick Grayson were blurring a lot and it was making him question himself, and question Dick; who w_as_ he actually?

The thing was…Garfield actually—well apart from the current situation—liked Dick Grayson and actually owed a lot to the guy. He was the older, serious brother in contrast with Vic's older, fun brother and he was almost like the father figure, if you were to put it in the most basic forms. Dick had done a lot for him; he had taught Garfield how to think quicker and think more efficiently in order to choose what animal he was to become when fighting criminals, he was a good sport when it came to playing the GameStation with him and was not overly competitive like Vic was and he also helped him out with Raven…a lot. There was always some kind of buffer between them, yes, but he knew that stemmed from the fact that the circumstances of the origins of their whereabouts were similar and that made each other comfortable when it came down to that but other than that…he really _did _like Dick Grayson even if he w_as_ being such a dick.

There was also the matter of the bond between the two; Raven and Dick. They completely relied on each other for mental stability—they were both mental head cases, Garfield thought sourly, though he knew that Raven at least had a bit of an excuse; having a demonic dad was not really gonna help anyone. Whatever, he loved her so it didn't matter that much anyway—and if one felt really strongly, the other had to put in some kind of effort to push that emotion back. It was a bit of a tug-o-war game to others and to him and he didn't think it would be that great to distress either one of them and it was confusing. So it was really hard to hate Dick because he knew that Raven wouldn't be too happy about it, though he knew that she also thought that he was being irresponsible.

"Gar…friend Garfield?" Kori's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Eh…what?" He realised that he had been day dreaming and grinned apologetically, "Um…sorry."

Kori giggled, "It is OK…I was lost in the thoughts too…it is just that I have never seen you this…serious before." The giggles erupted once more, "Very contemplative…it is a good look on you, friend."

He chuckled nervously, "Um…yea…dunno…everything just seems to be out of sorts and I'm slow at taking it all in. Bad habit." He grinned once more.

"I understand." Kori frowned for a moment, looking tired once again, "Well, though thoughts are good sometimes, I do not think I have time for those today. I need conversation and if you do not offer any then well…I believe that I shall go off and drown myself in the girl magazines. It is a bad habit, says Raven, but it is a fun one." She joked lamely, and he recognised it as a 'not-really' joke as he had done it so many times before.

"Well…no, no…we'll talk." He did an exaggerated bow; a difficult feat to do while sitting.

"Oh, r_eally,_friend? That is most comforting!"

"Well, I can't really refuse the princess—almost empress—of Tamaran, can I? I'd probably be beheaded or somethin'!"

She laughed, her head flailing backwards, "Oh, Garfield, you do have the school to make one laugh. It is not treason to refuse a conversation with a princess, and to be honest I am not a princess any longer no matter what the people of Tamaran say. Though maybe my knorfka might have a few strong words to say to you…"

He could totally imagine that actually, her knorfka was totally not to be messed with, "Nice. So, since we're supposed to be talkin' bout somethin'…anything interestin' happen last night?"

"Well…I…" her face suddenly lit up with such a flush that her face turned the exact same shade as her hair, "Oh! I _do _remember what I was going to tell you, friend! It is the most exciting and I was going to tell Raven too but I was afraid that she was to disapprove." She pouted, "I do not _think _that she would disapprove but I _know _it. She will be making the face where her eyes become squinty and her mouth twists like she had just eaten a bad zorkaberry like this…" Kori went on then to do an exact replica of Raven's 'disapproving' face and he had to laugh at that; they had lived together long enough to know what she looked like when she disapproved and imitate it exactly.

He sniggered, "That was _completely _genius."

"Ah, I do not think it is perfect yet…she does something else but I cannot seem to pick up on it." Her mind seemed to lose track at that moment but then she shook it out, "Oh, yes, I have forgotten…well…I do not know how you will take this but I…I met a boy…" if her red cheeks were any redder, Kori would look like a tomato right now, "a _man _if we are using correct human terms and _oh_," she cooed, "he asked me out on a date. Oh he is ever so nice, friend!" He saw her catch his confused expression and she sighed, "Oh, Garfield, please tell me that you are happy for me. I know that it has only been a few weeks since…" she let that sentence trail off purposefully, "Oh, _please _do say you are happy for me…I cannot stand it if you disapprove."

He laughed weakly, "You can't stand it if _I _disapprove? What? Has the sun exploded or somethin'?"

"It is just that…Raven would clearly disapprove and I do not know if she will disapprove because she is worried for me or if she is worried for Dick but I know that she will disapprove. Friend Vic would disapprove but only because he does not know this man very well and he will be doing the interrogating and will scare the wits out of him, I am sure." She grasped for his hand and he stiffened under her grip; she was warm, "It is just that you understand spontaneity and 'in the moment' moments and I was hoping that you would understand and…well…I was doing the hoping that you would approve."

"Have you said yes yet?"

She shook her head, "I have not said no but I have not said yes. It is confusing but I believe that I would like to say yes."

There was another pause between them as Garfield gathered his thoughts. He knew that he wanted to say that she had his approval but at the same time if Raven disapproved…well…let's just say that Raven had disapproved many things that he did and he had ignored her warnings—on the basis that…well…everything couldn't be _that _bad, could it?—and it had not ended as nicely as he thought it would and so he heeded most of her warnings now…well…sometimes.

On the other hand there was the fact that if Dick had cheated on Kori—Garfield didn't like this idea…if someone as controlled as Dick could actually cheat then well…something _bad _must've unnerved him!—that if it was true then Kori had every right to go off and date somebody else. It wasn't as if Kori would jump the guy, Garfield knew that no matter w_hat _she looked like Kori would _definitely _not do that, and it was Dick's fault for bringing in the mention of a break and all. _Really_, if they were actually on a break then Kori was—temporarily, he realised—single and that she could do whatever she wanted without his consent. Not that Garfield ever thought that Kori asked Dick for his consent to do anything; Garfield thought that Kori would probably throw a starbolt at Dick before asking for his permission…

"Well, you know what. I'm happy for you." He forced a grin, "It's good, y'know? I mean all I've seen you do these past couple of weeks is just work, work and _work_. You need a lil' fun and I guess this is a good way to do it."

She released his hand and sighed in relief, "Oh, thank you, friend. And yes, you are right. It will be fun. I am in the mood for fun and nothing serious." She giggled.

"When's he taking you then?"

"Um…I think it will be the Saturday of the next…oh, it will be glorious…he is taking me to 'Matahari', you know that really expensive restaurant at the border of Jump?"

He nodded but then a thought suddenly occurred to him, "Kors…what if Dick comes bac—"

"I do not care. He can come back and I will welcome him but he himself told me that we are not in the status of the dating; he himself has told me that we are now two separate entities and the decision to become one again would not come about for a long, long time."

For a second time—well more than a second time actually—Garfield thought about who this mystery girl that Dick had been with was and it annoyed him that he couldn't figure it out because _clearly _Raven knew her. What was weird was that Raven knew her and didn't tell him who she was because, really, if someone cheated on your best friend and you knew who the 'other woman' was then wouldn't you tell your best friend who that person was so that she could take her revenge or whatever? It was weird…he figured that Raven either really liked and respected her as a person and didn't want to get her accused of anything or she despised her and didn't want to mention her because it would bring up bad feelings and whatnot.

It was really, really weird.

"Well, I guess it serves him right…but _man_, the 'Matahari'?" He asked, sincerely excited, "That's kinda awesome."

"I know…" She laughed again and gave him a hug, "I know."

From that moment they talked about who the guy was—some actor, apparently, by the name of Chace Crawford. The name sounded familiar but Garfield couldn't put his finger on it; he couldn't be _that _good if Garfield Logan aka movie buff extraordinaire, didn't know who this guy was—and what he was like and all that junk that girls usually said to each other. Raven wasn't here right now though so he thought that he made a pretty decent substitute. As Garfield listened to her—his chin leaning on the table lazily—gush about this Chace guy, the new clothes she had received from a designer , the mustard pie that she planned on baking tonight and other stuff he knew that he wouldn't be able to stand listening to if it were not for Kori speaking.

She was right, he realised, they were similar in a way that was different to the other Titans and it was not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all. They were both—he looked for the right word in his head—free-spirited unlike the other Titans who seemed to be tied down in chains. It had nothing to do with their pasts, Garfield mused to himself, it was more that they took everything as it came and though there were times that both of them pondered on what it would be like to not have any powers and not be…_this_, they concentrated more on the present and the future, keeping the past as something sacred and unchangeable. Of course they both wished that their pasts weren't so dark but both knew—and he knew that she knew—that it could not be changed, that it was not meaningless and whatever had happened—when it happened—there would always be a time when they had people that loved them, even if those people were now lost. Sometimes it made him sad though; he missed his mum and dad and he missed Rita, and maybe—well not really…well…yes he did but…AGGGGH! CONFUSING!—he missed Steve a little…a little mind you!

From all the events that had been occurring around the Tower…Garfield knew that this was a turning point for the Teen Titans. They were breaking apart and trying to do it in the nicest and easiest way possible. It was like they were trying to be indifferent to each other's feelings because they thought it would hurt less but in doing so each of them was hurting another member even more. It made sense—in the weird logical way that Raven was always so proud of—since they had lived with each other for such a long time. Seriously, think about it, if you were told that you suddenly had to stop living with these people—the same people you had been living with since your early teens!—and to stop connecting to each other on a daily basis, wouldn't you want to try to ease it a little? Both for you and the other person? It made sense, and he thought that he should propose this theory to Raven, if she had not already thought of it first.

Suddenly the kitchen door _whooshed_ open and in came a grumpy looking Raven; her brows furrowed together so deeply that he wouldn't be surprised if there was a dent in between her brows, and she had a scowl on her face that made a wolf's snarl look nice. She was pissed, and he didn't know what she was so pissed about.

"Raven, are you OK?" Kori voiced his question before he could say it.

She growled but did not answer verbally and he didn't blame her; she stank. The scent she was emanating right now still had an undertone of cranberries but it was horribly distorted and it smelled like something rotten that had stayed under the sun for too long. It wasn't a nice smell at all and it was a pity, because a couple of moments ago she was happy…well…OK…maybe not happy…but she was close to it. Again, he wondered what Vic had told her that had made her so distressed and whether it should worry him too.

"Rae, seriously, you OK?"

Her gaze quickly switched to him as if she had just realised that he was still there in the kitchen, "It could be better and…" she shook her head and he smelled the frustration on her, "no, no, I'm not that great right now."

He gritted his teeth, not knowing what to say back to her.

"It cannot be that bad, friend, in addition to that your mood cannot be so foul that you are unable to remember your happiness just a few moments ago." Kori offered sympathetically.

Raven didn't say anything and merely glared at her best friend. Garfield felt his throat constrict as she caught the look that she sent Kori; it was menacing and foul and just…sad and frustrated.

Weird.

It was weird that she was visibly showing how much she felt because—though she had always said that she was now free from the grips of her father—Raven had always remained reserved and quiet and controlled when it came to her emotions. There were times when she would laugh out loud or when she would cry but never has she switched up emotions this quickly. Not that Garfield knew of, anyway.

He reached out for her hand, gripping at her fingers softly and occasionally interlocking hers with his own, "Hey, hey…Raven talk to me." He asked slowly, making sure that he didn't sound demanding.

She still didn't say a word, and Kori and Garfield exchanged a confused glance with each other, both not having a clue on what to do or what to say. Kori shook her head slowly and stood up before patting Raven gently on the shoulders. She gave him a concerned look and pursed her lips.

"I think that you will do a better job than I, Garfield." She sighed, "I will be going to friend Vic to see what has caused this distress."

He nodded in reply and watched her as she walked quietly out of the kitchen, her red hair swishing prettily even in the early morning. As soon as the Tamaranian was completely out of sight, he turned his attention to Raven once more to find that she had closed her eyes and started to breathe deeply; she was trying to calm herself down it seemed, but it didn't really look like it was working because she still looked grumpy and she still smelled quite bad.

"Raven…what's wrong?"

Her eyes flashed open and he was suddenly exposed to her bright, angry, violet eyes, "I…" she stopped to inhale deeply, "I shouldn't be so upset by this but…" The words trailed slowly away and she took a seat next to him, her fingers still interlocked with his.

"What's the 'this'? I mean, if I knew then maybe I could help…"

She shook her head and at that very moment she reminded him of a lone wolf pup that had been abandoned by its pack and if she really was a wolf right now, he knew that she would be whining in high pitched voices; intermingled with that atmosphere of pain and longing. There wasn't really that sense of longing, really, when he tried to figure out what she was feeling, but there was that sense of anger that a wolf would feel towards its pack for abandoning it. If only he could figure out why she was feeling this way, maybe then he could actually help out with whatever problem Vic had presented.

"Are you sick? I mean…if you were talking to Vic I'm guessin' it had somethin' to do with your medical records…" He guessed blindly, taking whatever came to his head at that moment.

"I'm not sick. No." The tone was flat, "No, I'm as healthy as I could be."

He shook his head in confusion, "Then what is it? I mean unless you took an interest in cars or whatever—"

"Don't be ridiculous, Garfield." Raven cut him off, frowning at him, "It has nothing to do with cars."

"Then baby doll if you don't tell me anything then I can't _fix _anything!" He stated, ignoring the fact that he knew he sounded so exasperated at that moment.

She snorted, "Did I ask you to fix anything, Garfield?" There was a moment's pause before she scowled at his confused face, "No, I did not."

"No need to be a bitch about it." He grumbled, "I was just trying to help."

"Great, calling me a bitch." Raven slipped her fingers out of his roughly, "Because that makes everything so much better."

"Well if you weren't so frickin' vague about everything!"

She flung her arms in the air, "Well I _have _to be vague about it," she pointed at him accusingly, "because I don't know if I should tell you or not!"

He stopped what he was going to say to her as she mentioned his involvement; now he was _really _curious on what his best friend and his girlfriend was talking about. OK, he was now a little more pissed rather than curious—really now! He had a frickin' cause! If only she wasn't so defensive about whatever she was on about—but still he was curious all the same. Was it bad? Was she cheating on him with Vic? He didn't believe it—not really—but with all this talk of cheating and relationships and drama, he was willing to say that it was possible.

"Are you cheating on me with Vic? Just tell me, I can take it." He seethed.

Raven's jaw dropped and her eyes went even crazier, "No you—_agh_!— I cannot even think up a word fitting enough for an idiot like you!" She huffed angrily, "Why in the world—in any _dimension_!—would I even _consider _Vic as more than a friend? There are a million words for 'fool' that I can put to you but," she sighed and he saw the heat leave her eyes slowly, "then I would have to magnify them by a thousand just to suit the likes of you!"

It took him a while to register what she was saying and he had to grin for that second there—it was funny how her calling him an idiot did that sometimes—before a frown promptly went back and slapped him on the face again. If she wasn't cheating on him then what was it? What could upset her so much that she was this grumpy and…emotional? And it involved him, as well.

He scratched his ears irritably and found himself trying to figure it out in his head while watching how her body language was working right now. She seemed tired all of a sudden with the bags under her eyes and the way her usually perfect posture was slouched in a C-curve. There was an edge in her eyes that worried him and her lips kept pursing and un-pursing as she watched him as intently as he watched her. There it was, he realised suddenly, there was what was bothering her, and in turn bothering him…

She coughed lightly, clearing her throat and sat silent for a couple of moments and he knew that she was trying to calm herself after the sudden outburst. Brushing her hair back from her face, she frowned a little but didn't smell as…agitated…as she had before.

Which was a total relief.

Finally, Garfield got the nerve to ask her straight up, "Raven, are you worried about me? Is there something I should worry about?" He cleared his own throat, "Is there something wrong with _me_?"

"Wrong is a…very subjective word." She shook her head, "I don't know what you will think in your perspective but…" she left the sentence to trail off by itself as she gazed at him sharply.

His grimace deepened, "But what? Am I gonna die or somethin'? Is that it?" He sucked in his breath nervously.

Her eyes widened frantically, "No, _no_…nothing like that. You are _not _going to die." Her head shook again, violet strands swaying from side to side, "Not on my watch, you're not." Her arms crossed defiantly over her chest to emphasise the fact.

"Oh. Well, I guess that's good but…really is there nothin' I should be worried about? I mean, if you're this pissed then I'm guessin' that it's somethin' big…"

"Nothing big, well, no…it is perspective dependent again and so I can't answer that but…" she paused for a moment to think, "we must have a talk soon…"

"Why can't we just talk here? Now?"

Another shake of the head, "No, not now. Later."

"Later? Why later?"

"Because you need to talk to Vic first…" she pursed her lips, "and then we'll talk."

There was a tone in her voice that told Garfield not to press on, even though he really, really wanted to. She just sounded like she had taken a bite of Brussels sprouts and realised that no matter how horrid it was, she had to take it in and eat it because it was good for her. He had an odd feeling that if she was told to swallow mud she would only look marginally better than how she did now. Well, yes, he was exaggerating but he still felt the same about it.

He moved closer towards her and stroked her hair back so that he could see her chakra flashing in brief, odd flashes that had no particular rhythm or pattern to it. Her skin was cold under his hand but it was the normal cold that he felt from her; with a hint of warmth and a cool sheen of sweat and so he wasn't too worried about her physical well-being. But there was just something behind her words, something that she wasn't telling him that worried Garfield. The 'not telling' bit didn't bother him too much because she did that a lot but the fact that she reacted this way seemed to emphasise that it was important and that she was confused on how important it was; important enough to tell him or not important enough to tell him. It was like a Catch-22, a bad one at that, and he wanted her to tell him what it was but figured that she wasn't comfortable enough to do so and so was sending him off to Vic.

He shook his head.

And the morning was going so well…

He nodded slowly, "I'll go talk to Vic later…when you're better."

"Better?" She asked sharply, "I don't need to get any better…I'm fine as I am, thank you very much." The sentence was much too scathing for Gar's own taste but he ignored it.

He grumbled before attempting a smile, "Fine. You're great." She rolled her eyes at him, knowing that he didn't believe her, "But I wanna make sure that you stay that way because I'm not in the mood of Lil' Miss Grumpy-Pants, OK?"

She cracked a smile, a small one, but it was still a smile, "Fine, Mr I'm-So-Happy-I-Should-Be-A-Walking-Advertisement-For-Anti-Depressents, I'll follow through." He watched carefully as she tried to stop herself from smiling but was glad that she failed, "As long as you promise me that you'll speak to Vic soon."

"I promise." He replied without any hesitation.

Like any other awkward ending to an argument, there was silence between them and all that Garfield could concentrate on was the sound of her deep breathing and the bad scent that was slowly drifting away from her normally delicious scent. He never really knew what to make of these arguments and what the conclusion actually meant for both of them but he thought that if they were able to work through petty spats and silly squabbles then they might actually be able to work through this relationship and last; he did not want to be like Dick and Kori who seemed to be constantly getting along and suddenly something triggers them to have some _mahoosive _fight that causes them to split up. He did not want to split up with Raven if he could help it, he _loved _her and in all sincerity, he knew that _she _loved _him _and so it made sense that he wanted to make them last, to be better than his two previous other relationships that just practically…bombed.

In a bad way.

Suddenly, his ears twitched as he saw her look at him in a peculiar way and he watched carefully as her lips moved silently as if on their own accord. Except her words weren't silent…they were almost silent for normal human ears but for his own…well…you could say that it sounded closer to a loud whisper. At first, he wasn't sure what she was saying as he was mesmerised by how her delicate lips moved as they spoke those silent words, but after a while, he kinda got it.

He grinned.

"I love you too baby doll," he chuckled while ruffling her hair, "I love you too."

**A/N: MonkeeNoodles is listening to "Adelaide" by Anberlin.**

**Is obsessed.**

***giggles maniacally***

**Don't forget to review!**

**Hope you stay in tune for the next installment of...*dramatic drum roll***


	13. And I was sick, and I was sad

**A/N: Man, I just realised how hard it must be to undress a superhero.**

**:grin:**

**Don't worry, no sex scene here.**

**Also, apologies for the absence, uni apps are a bitch and I've been trying to fit this into all the mayhem that the last year of high school brings.**

**Also, apologies since this isn't my best work, though I do like the plot twist I put into here.**

**So, my lovely readers...enjoy and review!**

**Chapter 13**

"No way!" Garfield exclaimed in awe, "_You _wrote this?"

Raven raised a questioning brow at him, "Why? Does it seem like I wouldn't be able to write like this?" She sounded hurt at the prospect that he might not like it.

He shook his head fervently in protest, "No, no…it's just that…_Raven_, this is amazingly genius." He grinned, "I mean I knew that you could write and that you liked reading but…shit, Raven…seriously if people wrote like this I think I'd read more."

He caught her blush before she took it away, "You exaggerate."

Garfield chose not to reply and instead flipped through the papers that he was holding quite tightly in his hands; they were Raven's drafts of a story about a bunch of bounty hunters in a world similar to their own…except there were no superheroes, which Garfield found to be quite weird. It was good, like, really, _really _good and it was actually pretty funny. So, OK, he knew that she could do funny but _still _he thought that she would write something dark and, to be honest, it _was _dark but it was written in such a way that it was witty. Seriously, having a girlfriend that was this talented was pretty cool.

He shook his head slowly to get into a more comfortable position as he lay on her lap. They had spent the whole day—except for that one instance of a bank robbery—in her room—shocker! He still didn't believe his luck!—and they had wasted the day away by talking about anything and everything, having a bit of a nap—well, _he _did anyway. He was so exhausted after the damn bank robbery—playing chess, teaching each other languages—she taught him a bit of German while he tried to teach a reluctant Raven how to speak Swahili. He figured that she was reluctant not because she didn't want to, but because she didn't want to sound stupid in front of him—and he had stolen a kiss or two from her, but it never went beyond that. All in all, the day was better than how it started—with Raven getting all pissed and emotional after speaking to Vic about something—and it was _fun_, useless, un-educational—apart from the whole language thing, anyway—fun. With the vague sound of music playing in the background—mostly Raven's stuff—apparently having his trance music in her room would burn a hole in the wall or something—the atmosphere had almost seemed…relaxing…which was weird because with their conflicting personalities, they generated a variety of atmospheres, but none ever really came close to relaxing; flirtatious—yes—spiteful—yes—annoyed—_definitely_—and infinitely happy…but the relaxed mood was rare, and even rarer now that there seemed to be some conflict between the members of the Titans.

He frowned for a moment before disposing that in favour of a grin directed at Raven; _his _Raven.

"_Nah_, I wouldn't exaggerate, baby doll. You know me better than that." He stuck his tongue out at her cheekily.

She rolled her eyes at him like he knew she would and in return he blew air into her face, "You not exaggerating is like…well…_Kori_ not exaggerating. Though I must admit that you two do it a lot less than you did before."

"I'll take _that_ as a compliment." He beamed.

"Fool."

He smiled at that familiar word and found that she smelled quite happy too; happy at the familiarity and the way it rolled easily out of her tongue. Garfield closed his eyes for a few moments and was instantly alert as he felt her cold fingers trace the messy green locks on top of his head, making random patterns with those delicately small fingers. There were so many different pressures that she was using to stroke his hair and for another countless time, he wondered what he had done to deserve someone like Raven; she was gorgeous for one thing, super smart and she was just everything that he wasn't.

He inhaled deeply to take in the lovely aroma of ripe and fleshy cranberries.

Slowly he opened his eyes again and found Raven retrieving her hand back as if to conceal the fact that she had just been dragging her hand up and down his hair. He winked roguishly at her and placed her draft gently on the floor in a neat pile and just spent the next few minutes looking up at her in thought while twiddling his thumbs. She didn't scowl or look away and instead looked at him as if she were studying mice in a science lab.

"What?" They both asked at the same time.

He chuckled, "I'm just thinkin' 'bout stuff."

"Hmmm…" she nodded slowly, still looking down at him, "Me too."

"What about?" He asked sincerely; seriously, he was curious.

She smirked, "About how _comfortable _you look laying down on my lap as I sit in this awkward position on my bed."

"You know what, though?" He asked, "If you r_eally _didn't like it then you would've pushed me off the bed or somethin'."

She scoffed, "Really now, I know that I make a few threats now and then but I'm not _really _that violent, as you should know by now."

He poked her left cheek and laughed, "I know…well…_actually_…"

"You did _not _just say 'actually'."

A Cheshire grin spread on his lips, "Oho! I think I just did!" Another roll of the eyes, seriously, she was getting predictable, "I bet you were actually thinkin' bout how great our kids will look. Seriously, with my good looks and your smarts, we'll have, like, a _super_kid or somethin'!"

There was a small flicker in her look as he mentioned kids but then it disappeared again to be replaced by a wry smile that, well, _looked _marginally sincere. He wondered what that was about but then dismissed it for his imagination; looking up at her for a long time—well this position w_as_ seriously comfortable—probably did that to you. It was nice though, the view was great—he grinned to himself—she was pretty and if she kept looking at him through those sooty dark eyelashes with her gorgeous violet eyes, he thought that it was worth the uncomfortable neck.

"Kids." She drawled, "You think too far sometimes, all these plans and preparations." Raven sighed and he felt her cool breath on her face, "I think that I'm happy as I am right now." That wistful smile came back again as she whispered those words, "Yes, I think so."

"But…the future will be frickin' awesome! You'll be some genius author and I'll be an actor!" He grinned, "And then we can collaborate and make a cool movie that'll win an Oscar or somethin'. Or at least it'll win an MTV Movie Award and we'll make a _gazillion _bucks! Seriously, what's not to love?"

She pursed her lips and from this view he found that though her lips weren't as fleshy as Kori's, they were definitely as shapely, if not shapelier, "I don't plan on being an author, Gar, a journalist, maybe…an author, probably not." She cocked her head to one side, "The MTV Award isn't really in my favour either; pop culture just doesn't do it for me. Maybe if I won a Nobel Prize then it would be ever so slightly cool but…chances like that don't come along too often."

"If you really wanted to win the Nobel Prize, you'd get it." He chuckled, "Even if you didn't get one I'd still love you."

She lowered her face closer to his and loose strands of violet-black hair tickled his skin lightly and he sneezed. An airy giggle slipped out of her lips, a sound that he usually heard only in the company of each other, though he had heard her giggle with Kori once. Well, no, he was wrong…it wasn't really a giggle but he had a hard time classifying it into a category be it laughing, chortling, sniggering or any other of those sounds but it just didn't have that… _oomph_ that Raven's voice had when she…_giggled_. He liked the sound though; he liked the scratchy quality it had to it…it sounded more _real _than the other giggles he heard from other girls…it sounded more like she meant it when she giggled, and he appreciated that.

He really, really did.

She scowled for a moment, "My hair's getting too long. I should cut it soon." A pale hand brushed most of her strays away but there were still some hanging about, touching his skin.

"It tickles," he laughed giddily, "but I like it. It looks good on you." He added as an afterthought.

"It's a hassle to keep. I don't even know why I grew it out." There was a hint of pink on her cheeks but he chose to ignore it.

He reached out and let his own green fingers mingle with her purple strands, "Are you gonna cut it then? I mean, I don't really mind how you do it but…" he shrugged slowly, making sure that he didn't make her uncomfortable as he moved on her lap, "I dunno…it really looks good on you. Plus isn't it _way_ easier to hide your chakra when we're undercover with long hair?"

She sniffed stubbornly, "You don't exactly have a say in how I should do my hair," he pouted, "_however_, you do have a point; it _is _easier to keep my chakra concealed with this much hair going around." There was a pause before she spoke again, "Maybe a trim." She mused and he wasn't sure whether or not she was musing to herself or to him.

"Maybe when we're done…you can cut in bangs or somethin'. I dunno, I just think it'll be a bit difficult to keep doing your hair around just to hide your chakra."

She frowned at his sentence and he found himself replaying the words in his head just so that he could figure out what he did wrong, _if _he said anything wrong. With Raven there were a lot of things he could say that would make her quiet, that would make her _think _and sometimes he didn't know what he actually did say because sometimes she would just find layers upon layers of meanings in one single word, even if he didn't intend it to be so.

Garfield gripped a bunch of her hair in his fist gently before loosening his fingers and dragging them out.

It was then that he realised that he had said something along the lines of 'being done'; she hated that. He knew that the future wasn't something that she was looking forward to; she wasn't looking forward to their separation, to a new experience, a new life and—heck!—he thought that she probably thought that she'd be alone or something…friendless…but he knew better, he knew that she wouldn't be…that they—the Titans—would always be there for her, that _he'd _always be there for her. Now that he was with her—hell! Even when they were barely friends he had thought this!—he didn't know if he could bear live without her; the concept just seemed too alien…too weird.

"Maybe." She nodded slowly.

He tugged at her cloak; it was a Monday today and Mondays always seemed to have the most crime out of every other day, so it was tradition to keep their uniforms on for the whole day, "As long as you don't shave it off, I'll be good." He grinned, joking.

Garfield caught Raven raking her hands through her hair quickly, as if to check that she wasn't actually going bald. He laughed once more and was greeted with a disapproving look from her, though he realised that now he wasn't so uncomfortable with that look anymore.

"Ha ha. Hilarious Logan, r_eally_." She rolled her eyes at him.

Another laugh, "Hah! Seriously, I haven't heard you call me by my surname in _ages_!"

She quirked a brow, "Do you _want _me to call you by your surname?"

He shook his head, laughing again for God knows what reason. Raven probably thought he was crazy now, for a good reason, he didn't really know why he found her calling him by his surname funny. He guessed it was because it reminded him of the days when they—all of them—had just started being comfortable enough with each other to reveal their true names—though that didn't really apply to Raven, of course. It was nice to find out what her last name was though—and she had refused to call him anything _but _his surname even though she called everyone by their firsts. It took a _long _time to convince her that calling him 'Garfield' would not kill her.

"Um…I _dunno_…calling me Logan makes me sound like that Wolverine dude from that X-Men comic. I mean, as much as I think he's cool, I don't think I want people thinkin' that I have metal claws in my knuckles."

She huffed, "Really, I swear you are going on a comic book-fast."

"Whatever." He dismissed this idea, waving his hand to create more emphasis, "It's not like you don't read comics. I mean…_seriously_? _League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_?" He laughed, "Boring much."

"For your information, 'LXG' is an incredibly politically driven story and it begs many questions that are quite fascinating."

"_LXG_?" He exclaimed incredulously, "God, Rae, you're such a geek."

"Says the guy who almost wet himself when he met Stan Lee."

Garfield pouted, "_What_!? No way, I did _not _almost pee my pants!" He protested.

"Uh-huh. I believe you heart and soul." Sarcasm dripped from her lips like acid.

Her words were poisonous but they didn't sound sincere and for another few moments he just lay there on her lap, nuzzling her stomach affectionately while letting the soft sounds of a grunge version of some classical song travel gently through the air, enticing his ears to move as the tempo changed. He watched silently as she went back to marking her own drafts with a face like stone and the only things moving were her hands as they annotated sections that needed editing and her eyes that flicked from side to side and they were alive with amusement at her own writing and her own mistakes.

He was bored though and the nap he had taken before had given him a lot of energy, energy that wasn't being used up because Raven didn't feel like doing anything except for lounging around her room. Garfield could go out and hang with Kori again but he really didn't feel like doing any weird stuff today, though that was slightly impossible because he himself was classified as weird. On the other hand he wanted to chill with Vic but they had called up Jinx when the attempted bank robbery was happening as it was against a few of her former H.I.V.E Academy friends to gain an advantage over them since, it was obvious that the better you knew your enemies, the easier it was to beat them. So, naturally, Jinx had bullied Vic into going on a surprise date with her and they were now probably making out in one of those shady places that pick-pockets went to hang out to show off their goods. For someone who claimed to be a reformed criminal, she sure knew where to pick her hang out spots.

Talking about making out, he hadn't made out with Raven for a long time. Blame the testosterone or whatever but seriously, a make out session had to happen soon! He was gonna die if it never happened ever again!

He grumbled sullenly to himself.

She looked really pretty today, he realised, but he didn't know why he thought so. Except for special occasions—read: when Kori had forced her—she did do something about her appearance but on ordinary days like today, it was unlikely that she had done anything other than shower and—possibly—brush her hair. Maybe it had something to do with the expression that she had on her face; she bit at her lower lip subconsciously—nibbling it occasionally—in what Garfield thought was concentration, her thick dark brows were furrowed together causing her forehead to scrunch like crumpled paper and her indigo eyes pierced through the paper with only her jet-black lashes to frame and soften the expression. It didn't sound so pretty when it was described the way he described it but he thought that it had something to do with the fact that she _had _an expression on her face instead of the flat stare—or glare at times—that she insisted on wearing in public. With him…it wasn't that much different actually but there were moments when he caught her off guard. She had berated him, of course, saying that he had tricked her into laughing or getting angry but still…he found that she was a little looser when it was only him around. Not that much looser, mind you, but a little looser.

Garfield's eyes settled on her lips as they muttered words under her breath. Her lips weren't as pouty as Kori's but they were sensual all the same, with curves and corners that were made for exploration and he revelled in those expeditions. She was a mean kisser—he never really asked her _how _she got so good at it—and her kisses left you dry in the mouth. He had kissed her a few times today but they in his opinion, they weren't even worthy enough to be called kisses; pecks, mother's kisses to their kids, whatever, but none of them were real kisses, not the ones he craved anyway.

Not for the first time, Garfield wondered if it would be OK to kiss her now.

He didn't think much of it for more than that and, grinning to himself quite maniacally; he started poking at her drafts.

"Gar," she asked seriously as he continued to poke the papers, "what in the world are you doing?"

He tugged at the edges, disrupting her marking process, "I wanna read it again." He whined relentlessly.

"Later." She grumbled, "Let me do this for a minute." Her pen continued to flick at sections as he kept pulling at it.

He kept tugging at it, pulling the papers towards him while she tried to pull it back just as forcefully but at the same time he tried to make sure that he didn't harm her papers. After all, his goal wasn't really to get her pissed.

Raven frowned at him, "Gar, I have no idea what you are doing but I suggest you stop it because—!"

He grinned as she had leaned down so closely that—as he had already planned in his head—he slipped his hands through her mass of dark hair and pulled her towards him even more so that he could kiss her. It was underhanded, he realised, but kissing her was worth the disapproving looks and scolding he would inevitably get from her afterwards; being this close to her for this long was unbearable without being able to taste her or touch her even once.

He grinned against her lips.

He suddenly became conscious of the sheer softness of her lips and her scent hit him full force as his nose pressed against her skin. Raven had resisted at first, struggling and grumbling against his kisses that this was not the time and that she would blast him off somewhere if he didn't stop but slowly, ever so slowly, her reluctance faded and she had responded tenderly. She pressed forward as much as he did and so they created so much friction that his lips felt like they were burning but it was a pleasant burn, a passionate one.

At that moment, it seemed like there was nothing else around him except her, there was nothing in the world except them two; not the other Titans, not space nor time. Kissing her was nothing like kissing Terra or Jill; he had enjoyed kissing the other two—he had even slept with Jill—and their making out was always passionate but…they didn't produce the feelings that Raven's kisses produced. With the other two he had never felt assured that his love was being returned, not the way Raven assured him, and they didn't leave him with memories so vivid that he was willing to wait a long, _long _time before there would be another moment again, another moment to touch and feel and explore.

It was like…right now everything that ran through his mind was her and her only and the effects were so dizzying that it felt like he had drunk a whole bottle of vodka. She smelled like cranberries rolled in with the smell of clean sweat and the scents were further mingled with his own scent to create a strange concoction that was intoxicating. Her breathing was low and haggard as he nipped at the hollow of her neck. He felt her hands grab around his neck and her fingers grip his hairs, pulling him into her almost as aggressively as he was pulling her into him. Garfield's own arms curled around her tiny waist, exploring that small curve that people would dismiss when they took a first glance at her. She tasted like her personality; sweet, sour and bitter all at the same time. He was taking her in at a speed that he couldn't comprehend; all he could see, hear, touch, taste and smell was her.

Thoughts came zooming into his head, too many thoughts but, at the same time, too little and there was danger in that. His mind had turned blank with their actions; he was already expecting it and he shouldn't be surprised but he was, _every single_ time it came around. His own thoughts and feelings were twisted up in a knotted ball in the back of his head to let more…_basic_…qualities to come out physically, qualities that were usually easy to keep under control but…but with Raven, he realised that his actions were harder to keep in rein. It was hard, but he had to keep trying; he didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to scare her, didn't want to lose her trust…

Suddenly, her scent changed into…he didn't know what…and his eyes flew open at the same time that her eyes did. It was all so sudden that he barely had time to register that he had been on top of her with his hands successfully sliding Raven's arms out of her spandex costume, his fingers almost succeeding in pulling off her bra. She wasn't any better either; one of her legs was wrapped surreptitiously around his waist, pulling him downwards so that there was no empty space left between them and her cloak had been completely abandoned on the floor.

Quicker than the frickin' Flash, they jumped apart from each other to the ends of the bed, almost causing him to fall off the edge.

"I…we…" Raven started, her cheeks heating up the longer they stayed silent, "We…"

Her bedside lamp exploded, sending sparks everywhere while he heard other _booms_ from behind him but he was too stricken to look.

He shook his head slowly, "No…I don't think…" suddenly he vaguely remembered his hand making its way slowly up her bare thighs, "Oh, _God_, I'm sorry, Rae…I wasn't thinkin'."

She frowned momentarily, the heat never leaving her face, "It was both our faults." She shook her head, "But I can't believe that we were so irresponsible to…" she stopped as if she couldn't say the word that they were both thinking of.

"Sex." He rolled the word around in his mouth, "We almost had sex."

Raven nodded slowly, "We almost had sex." The words were bland but they sounded as if she was tasting it for the first time, "By _Azar_, we're adults who were about to do it and we weren't even going to do it _safely_!" She fumed, and he had the impression that she was equally made at him and at herself, "Admit it, we weren't. "

"No, you're right. We weren't." He flushed briefly, "I don't have any condoms with me now…"

"I do." She replied shortly, her arms crossed stubbornly, "But I don't think we would've stopped just to get them. Embarrassingly enough, I don't think _I _would have stopped."

He should've been flattered that she would have enjoyed it enough to actually go through with having sex without any interruption, but surprisingly, he wasn't. She was taking it all in his stride, as if it was normal for them to make out with half their clothes off, and they _were_—making out with half their clothes off, he meant—he remembered the frustration on her face and her scent when she couldn't get his damned spandex suit off him. He also remembered ripping the top part of his suit just for her so that now he was bare-chested and he was feeling a little chilly, though he was pretty sure that it wasn't from the cold.

"We were rolling around like…like…_animals_ and we…we…" Frustration was growing in her scent now and embarrassment as he noticed that she had realised for the first time that though her bottom half was fully covered, she only had her bra on top, "Garfield this can never happen again. This _should _never happen again." It was a pretty bra at that, not the sports bra that he imagined she wore in combat; it was _the _bra, the lace-y grey bra that he had found weeks ago.

"What can never happen again? Me in your room? Makin' out?"

She glared at him, "_This_! Sex! _Almost _sex! This cannot, should not, happen again. _Ever_." She added almost as an afterthought.

Right there and then, it felt like she had ripped his heart out, eaten it, vomited it back out and then gave it back to him. It wasn't that he was a sex fiend and wanted to have sex with her really, _really _badly—though there were times when it felt like that—or that he felt that he had waited long enough and needed to have sex, it was just that…

Garfield looked at her properly this time and was amazed at how many scents a person could have, how many expressions that could portray. Raven was sitting cross-legged with all the dignity that a person with most of their flesh exposed could have and she was covered in a thin layer of gleaming sweat. Her lips were twisted in a contemplative position and her eyes were analysing him as much as he was analysing her. The scents that she produced were colourful though; she was frustrated, annoyed, excited, angry, curious, relieved, and a little scared. He could almost make out her heartbeat and though it was going nowhere as fast as his one was, it was going pretty fast for someone who was as in control as Raven was.

…it was just that he loved her, he sincerely, wholeheartedly, loved her with every single fibre and fabric of his being and his life. Sex was not a priority but it had entered his mind that if they were going to be together forever, then they would one day—inevitably—make love. He wanted her to feel loved, to feel the warmth of another's touch and he wanted her to one day feel the oneness that came with making love, and he wanted—more than anything, really—for her to experience that oneness with him. Garfield would make sure that it was special and had meaning and not some meaningless sex that was seen a lot on TV, not some trashy fling that was used to get over other people and he would make sure that she didn't feel used, that it wasn't one sided. He wanted a lot of things that involved sex but he knew that it wasn't a priority, that it had _never _been a priority in his books anyway.

The way she said it though…the way she said it made him feel unwanted, made him feel dirty, as if sex was a bad thing, as if sex with _him _was a bad thing. He thought that he knew that that was not what she had meant but it still hurt.

It hurt a lot.

Most of all though, he wanted to know that he was good enough for her. Good enough to be her first, good enough to make love with, good enough to at least be _considered _as _first _material. Hey, blame the sudden drop in self esteem but he was suddenly feeling selfish, selfish and very, _very _self conscious.

Her empathic powers must've been beeping wildly because she moved to touch his hand in understanding, but thought better of it as if she thought that he was a dangerous beast that was not to be unleashed, like he was to blame for them _rolling around like animals_.

"Gar. You _know _that I love you." The hesitation was gone in that one second and she lunged at his hand, squeezing it tightly in her own, "But there are things…"

"What things?" He demanded angrily, "You keep saying that! Things _this_ and things _that_! But you never explain anythin' to me, Rae. How am I supposed to know that you love me if you won't even talk to me about these…_things_?"

"There is a thing called _trust_, Gar, and I was hoping that you had some of that."

He glowered silently, acknowledging her point.

"_Trust _me, like you have told me to trust you countless of times." She squeezed his hand tighter, "I _want _this but there are complications. There are _always_ complications…you know that." Raven shook her head to herself, "I _want _this but there are things that I am going through and things that you should know that should be cleared away before we even have another attempt at…this." She said finally.

He let his fingers interlock with hers and sighed heavily, not really knowing what to say back to her, how to voice his appreciation and his concerns. There was a moment for silence and there was a moment for words and right now, Garfield didn't know which moment this was, whether it was both or whether it was none at all.

"Rae, baby doll, I don't want to go through this if you don't want to. I don't want you to sleep with me without your consent." He squeezed her fingers with equal strength, "I know that _I _want to do it," he chuckled nervously, unsure on whether Raven would take that seriously or not, "but if you're going to go through with this just because I want to, well…I don't think I'd want it as much."

"Trust me, as much as it shames me to admit it," she flushed bright red and only her violet eyes retained its original coolness, "I want it as much as you do." The words were rushed, and he chuckled at her embarrassment in her confession, "But I don't want to be irresponsible and…"

"And what?"

"And I wasn't sure whether us having sex would be…biologically…safe so I got Vic to have some medical run downs on me because I was worried that my…demonic side would have some sort of effect on my biology if we…_when _we do it." She shrugged, almost nonchalant but not exactly, "Apparently, apart from a few fertility complications—we'll talk about that later," she added as he blanched at whatever problem she might be having, "I'm OK. Vic, though, being Vic, checked up on your medical history too and…and I think that you should talk to him."

"Is it that bad?" He asked curiously.

Raven paused, "Maybe, maybe not."

"I'm gonna have to talk to him then." He said finally, seriously, "Are you gonna be OK today? Alone?" She cocked her head to the side, shrugging, "I want this to work and to make it work we have got to talk and before we even do that, well, I've got to find out what's wrong with me, don't I?"

Raven nodded slowly.

"I'm gonna go talk to Vic now…" His fingers unwrapped themselves out of her fingers.

"I guess so."

He nodded in return but then realised the error of his statement, "Isn't Vic still out with Jinx, though?"

Raven shook her head, "No, I just felt him go past this corridor… Are _you _going to be OK talking to Vic? If you want, I can be there with you when you talk to him."

"No. I know that you don't like talkin' about it, or not you would have told me." Garfield squeezed her cheeks teasingly, causing her to raise her brows in question, "It can't be that bad though, or else you wouldn't have told me that it was bad, and trust me, you _did _tell me that it was bad." He grinned at her weakly, "When I'm done with Vic, will you then tell me what's been botherin' you? Not the stuff about me, the stuff that you're keepin' from me. The stuff that I'm guessin' has somethin' to do with you. I know that sometimes you wanna act tough and independent and shit, but sometimes its OK to tell me stuff, y'know?"

"I know." He was glad that there was no hesitation.

"I hope so." He grinned, "Coz I plan to be with you for a long time and we can't have us keeping secrets from each other if we're goin' to be together for a long time, can we?"

For the first time in what seemed to be hours, she laughed airily, "You hopeless romantic." She shook her head, "You fool." The words sounded like a caress that enveloped his cheeks.

"We're all fools when it comes to love." He grinned, "I'm goin' now." Garfield took her hand and kissed her knuckles gently.

Raven didn't say a word back to him as he jumped off the bed quickly, walking towards the door. His steps seemed light—and they were light—but he knew that she was watching him warily like a cat watching the ripples on water. There was no way she was going to stop tensing until he left, and he wasn't sure that she would even relax after that; everyone was on their toes now and it was worse with Raven and her empathic powers.

_Way _worse.

The light streamed in floods as he opened the door, causing every nook and cranny to be revealed, and he was half out of the door before he looked back, "Don't have too much fun without me." He stuck his tongue out at her, "Love ya!"

He shut the door giddily, like a little schoolboy, before she could reply to him with another one of her scathing, sarcastic comments about him being an idiot or whatever she called him when she thought that she had started being too mushy for her own good. He liked her mushy though, it was kinda cool to see someone so rigid let loose for a while, even if it meant calling him a fool.

Grin.

Garfield continued to stalk the corridors, humming a new song that Vic had insisted on playing in the T-Car for what seemed to be a million years—_Let it rock_ by some guy called Kevin _Rudolph _or something. Seriously, _why _would _anyone _want to be named after a deer with a frickin' light bulb for a nose?—until he reached the front of Vic's room. He paused at the door with one hand lifted up in midair, wondering how he was going to go about things; was he going to blurt it out straight away or was he going to try to wheedle it into the conversation? He had never been good at the whole subtle business but he thought that just demanding an answer from him wouldn't really help Garfield get the information that he needed.

Sighing, he knocked at the door.

"Shit!" Garfield heard Vic mutter before hearing a series of scrambling and metallic clunks, "Who is it?" He shouted louder this time.

"It's Gar. We gotta talk man."

Another grumble was heard, "Shit Gar, can't you just come later?" Another series of rustles.

"No, I can't. Vic, we really gotta talk. It's 'bout Raven…or about me…but I dunno…you told Raven and I wanna know what you guys talked about."

It took Vic a minute or two to open the door—a scowl seemingly etched onto his face—and Gar was surprised to find Jinx standing next to him, her small frame leaning against him playfully. She licked her lips flirtatiously and had both her hands resting on her hips boldly, her pink hair was giving him a headache and her cat-like pink eyes were boring into him with a weird combination of mischievousness and frustration.

"Hey, _Beast Boy_." She said his name playfully, making sure that every single letter in his name was emphasised, "You interrupted an important…" a devilish glint passed through her eyes in that one second, "session between me and Stone."

Garfield sniggered, "Hey Jinx." Another snigger popped out of his mouth, "I don't know if you'd call making out with this tin man important but, hey, whatever rocks your boat." He grinned at her and she replied with a Cheshire grin of her own.

"Oh, Beast Boy, if only you knew how…" she widened her pink eyes innocently and it only emphasised the slanted cat-shape even more, "wrong you are. Making out is vigorous exercise and you could do with a little beefing up." She giggled in her whispery voice and waggled her brows suggestively, "Care to try…_boy_?"

"Ah, I don't think so. I think Raven'll probably tear me to pieces if she found out I was sharing my lips with you." The flirtatious banter was never going to go anywhere, of course, but he couldn't resist.

"Not like I was offering, _boy_, I just thought that you would test it out with Stone here." She patted Vic's chest affectionately, "Still up for it?"

He shook his head, "Don't think so, Jinx, Cy's not really my type."

"Well, pity." She sighed dramatically, "Well, I'll be goin' to see Starfire if you don't mind, Stone? Looks like you two boys have something important to talk about." Jinx suddenly laughed, "I just hope you guys won't try comparing girlfriends again, you know how petty fights always end and we all know that _I _would turn out winner anyway."

"You're goin' to see Star? I thought that you couldn't stand all her perkiness and shit?" Vic suddenly piped up, his arm firmly around her tiny waist, "Why not just go to Raven's?"

Jinx shook her head, rolling her eyes, "I don't think so, Stone. Beast Boy here looks like someone ate out all his underpants and I'm guessing that it has something to do with Raven seeing as he's half naked and he smells of…magic."

Garfield looked down on himself and turned a bright shade of purple; he had completely forgotten the whole 'ripping-shirt' incident and had just gone out Raven's room as confident as if he was plain human again. It wasn't that he had never walked around without a shirt—he had, obviously, usually in the mornings when he couldn't think straight and had gone straight to the kitchen only in his boxers to find a warm glass of milk—it was just that usually no one ever commented and he found it awfully embarrassing that Jinx had pointed it out.

"She won't be in the best of moods and an angry witch isn't really what I'm looking for right now. Plus, now that Starfire's found out, I can ask her how to get a guy out of his pants faster than you can say 'strip', she looks like she would know."

Vic turned even redder than Garfield had, and he avoided Garfield's grin for a couple of minutes.

"Really, now, Stone, you're cute but you're sometimes not the brightest bulb around, are you?" She tiptoed and kissed a surprised Vic on the lips quickly before walking off, "Now you boys be nice to each other, I'll be back soon and I want Stone in one piece."

With that, Garfield let himself into Vic's room and was awestruck—still, after all these years—at the inside of his room; it was full of circuits and machinery that looked way cooler than the GameStation, and the GameStation was already pretty cool in itself. Everything glowed and beeped in a comfortable rhythm and as Vic walked through his own rooms to sit on his 'bed'—Garfield wasn't sure if bed was the right word…it looked more like a metal table or something—he blended in quite easily and it was eerily hard to find Vic if you weren't paying that much attention to his movements.

"Shit, Vic, can you pick _anyone _creepier?" He asked, referring to Jinx.

Vic grinned wryly at him, "God, like you're any better, ya little green stain."

"Point taken." There was a pause, "So, Kori knows, huh? Well, about time, I guess. But she kept calling me Beast Boy so I'm guessin' that she doesn't know any of our real names?"

Vic shook his head, "Nah, she doesn't want to hear it, she says. Keeps sayin' somethin' bout goin' in too deep without a rescue team or somethin'…like _that _makes sense." He rolled his single human eye.

Something felt a bit off in Vic's room, and it had always been the same whenever he was in this particular room and he realised almost automatically why it felt that way. The room was cold and emotionless and there was nothing rural or basic that Garfield's animal instincts could pick out to smell; really, there was only a hint of anything alive in this room and that involved only the human side of Vic, and even that was really hard to pick up on.

"So, I'm guessin' Raven didn't tell you, huh?"

"Nah, that's why I'm here…she got so upset when wewere making out that I think half her room's destroyed."

Vic laughed, though it sounded forced to Garfield's ears, "Couldn't it just be that you're a really crap kisser? I mean, dude, seriously, I can't imagine why Raven's stuck with you all this time, you would've thought she'd gone off to find someone cooler than you by now."

"Ha ha, very funny, tin man." He punched Vic's shoulder playfully, "I'm _so _not a crap kisser, really dude, we can take up Jinx's offer and prove it once and for all." He grinned, chuckling at how pale Vic had gone.

"Man, don't even joke." He shook his head again, "So where'd you wanna start?"

Garfield shrugged, "I dunno, at the beginning I guess…like…tell me bout Raven and then tell me about…well…me. I mean, can we do it?"

Before Garfield's very eyes, Vic transformed into someone completely different; this was Vic's professional side that Garfield was facing now, it was the side that Vic didn't really like showing, a reflection of his scientist father, someone whom—Garfield guessed—Vic blamed for his mechanical counterparts. It was from his father that Vic had inherited all the medical interest from, all the genius that Vic liked to keep hidden; Vic liked being the jock, dreamed of it constantly, but he had told Garfield that after his accident, his dreams had all but disappeared and there were only fragments and newspaper clippings of his high school days where he really was a jock left, in fact he was in both the football team and the track team.

It was sad really, but Garfield was partially grateful, he wouldn't have met Vic. It was selfish and cruel but he was still grateful.

Vic stood up and went to his computer, before turning it on to click away at some files or whatever, "There are no technical problems with you guys sleepin' with each," he opened up some files for a second before closing them, nodding to himself, "not that I can tell, no." Slowly, he shook his head and sighed, "But there might be a few individual problems that do have some vague association with sexual relations or…" Garfield saw him hesitate for a moment, "sexual intercourse."

"Are they bad?"

"No, not necessarily bad but…" Vic clicked open Raven's medical files, "you might encounter a few problems as a consequence of your actions."

"Problems? Like what?"

His best friend moved the mouse to click on something else, "Raven is—as you already know—a hybrid; a mixture of human genetics and demonic genetics. Obviously I mean demonic as in the species and not the…um…evilness." The clickety-clack of his fingers upon the keyboard got louder and less rhythmical, "Though, we have to take in account that the demonic genetics also seem to influence her powers and her emotional prowess."

Never had Garfield heard Vic speak in such big words before, it wasn't that Vic was stupid or anything—not that, he was actually really, really smart—but Vic liked to speak 'normally' to try to make himself sound and feel a bit more 'normal', Garfield guessed. Gar didn't really know why he bothered actually; it wasn't like anyone in the Titans was normal.

"There are two problems actually. Not problems, I guess," Vic shrugged heavily, "complications." Another click of the mouse, "Firstly, Raven's immune system doesn't work the same way that ours does. Well," Vic grunted, "yours does, anyway." He cleared his throat, and Garfield smelled the slight, rotting scent of resentment, "So, anyway, her immune system doesn't work like ours because, as we all already know, she has healing powers which derive from her _demonic _side."

Garfield frowned, "Yea, so?"

"So…if we put it down to your level." Vic allowed himself a brief snigger, "Joke, joke. Well, seriously though, you know how Raven heals herself and other people right?"

Garfield nodded vigorously.

"I've found out that she heals slower than any of us and the weird thing is that it's not because she gets hurt more than the rest of us, but because of an excess of wounds and cuts that she has that she couldn't have gained." He paused, "_Meaning _that—I'm not sure if I'm right on this or not—she _takes _away other people's injuries instead of healing them and she keeps them."

Garfield fell silent; so he _was _right, Raven _did _keep the injuries.

He would keep note of that.

"Not that I'm completely right since it's a theory and all but the people at STAR Labs also agree with me given all the evidence and stuff." Another grunt and another sigh, "So, the surplus—like, the excess and shit—weakens the body's ability to heal itself." Vic waited for a reaction.

Garfield still didn't get it; OK, Raven could get sick or hurt easily but what did that mean in terms of sex? Really?

"Um…I think I get it." Garfield scratched an ear furtively, "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Vic shook his head dismissively, "I'll explain later." His human eye looked straight at him, "The next complication has something to do with her fertility."

"What? Like her chances of getting' pregnant and shit?"

"Exactly." He nodded and paused for a long time before finally looking up at Garfield, "You want kids right?" Garfield flushed bright red and grinned sheepishly, "Don't lie to me Gar, I know how you look at kids, you get all weird and soppy and you start to make weird face." He laughed nervously.

"So, OK, yea I want kids." Garfield shrugged in reply "So, shoot me."

Another pause filled the huge, metallic room like a huge elephant that wanted to get out. Garfield watched tentatively as Vic played around with the big computer for a little while, his head cocking from side to side occasionally and his teeth biting down at his lower lips nervously and in confusion, as if he didn't know what to say.

"Gar, she can't have kids, Gar." Vic said finally.

Garfield's heart dropped down into his stomach suddenly as the worlds slipped out of Vic's mouth slowly and with precaution.

"That's a lie actually. She can have kids but she only has like one in ten chances of actually conceivin' since she's a hybrid and all." His best friend avoided his gaze, "Even if you did have a kid, there might be a big change of hybrid inviability and the kid wouldn't be able to live for very long. She or he would be very, _very _weak."

Garfield remained quiet, his mouth dry and in need of some moisture. He didn't know what to say, or what to think really; he had always wanted kids, _always_, and since getting serious with Raven he had always wanted kids with _her_.

He shook his head fervently.

But now that Vic had revealed this predicament, he didn't know what to do. It felt like his dreams had been crushed and crumpled in Vic's hands and blown away so that there was no way that Garfield could ever retrieve it. He had always wanted kids, ever since he had lost his parents, ever since he had been adopted by the Daytons, ever since he realised that he could help in more ways than just transforming into different animals. Children were innocent, kind, funny and so energetic and he wanted one, he had always wanted one but now…

"The…the other one?" His throat was really dry and it was starting to annoy him.

Vic paused first and looked him straight in the eye, both with his human eye and his metallic one, as if to make sure that Garfield was truly OK. It was obvious that he wasn't but Garfield felt that he needed Vic to say something as not to give Garfield the opportunity to stare into blank space for what would be a long, long time. He didn't know how to take the information but he figured that he needed to be distracted by something, anything was better than being constantly haunted by the sick feeling he was feeling now.

"There's no other one 'bout Raven but we have a couple 'bout you." Vic spoke slowly, as if to ease the information in, "Well first things first…why didn't you tell me that you had Sakutia?"

Garfield frowned, pursing his lips together so tightly that they turned purple, looking down as to avoid his gaze. He honestly didn't know why he didn't tell Vic that he had Sakutia when he was younger…he just figured that vic always knew since he was in charge of the medical files and stuff.

"I dunno…I just…it was never the right time." His voice was too low for it to sound normal but he ignored it, "I wanted to tell you, I was gonna tell you but…"

Vic shook his head, "You'd think that I'd stop bein' your friend after all this shit you don't tell me…" another shake of the head, "but whatever, we can deal with that later." Garfield heaved a relieved sigh, "So, when did you first get it?"

"I dunno…when I was eight-ish I guess? I was in Africa. Why?" He asked as an afterthought.

"Well…" his best friend clicked onto his file to reveal a picture of him grinning toothily like an idiot, "…how did they cure it? From the green monkey, I'm guessin'?"

"Um…yea. That was ages ago though, made me green, yea."

"Yea, I can see that." Another frown, "OK…I'll go into the easy thing first."

Garfield nodded obligingly.

"Well, OK…here goes." Vic inhaled deeply, "Since you have unstable genetics, your behaviour can swing from human to animalistic in a matter of seconds. Like Raven, this usually happens when you're really emotional…like you're really pissed or depressed or whatever. This isn't a bad thing or whatever," Vic stopped to type before continuing, "_but_, we gotta remember the Beast incident. There, you were just all beast with primal instincts, to reproduce and to survive. I mean, OK, that was provoked by the chemicals that seeped into your blood or whatever but I've found that it can be provoked naturally. So…when you sleep with Raven…you might not be conscious that Raven is, well, Raven and you might hurt her because in your brain right at that minute, your only thought would be to reproduce and to enjoy the sensations that go along with sex."

Garfield gritted his teeth, baring his sharp fangs in an automatic act of defence before he could check himself, "I would _never _do that." A snarl escaped his curling lips, "Never."

"There's a small chance that—"

Garfield cut him off again, "Never. I would never." He shook his head vigorously, trying to convince Vic and himself, "I mean, what about Jill, man? I never did nothin' to her!"

He paused for a moment, reminiscing about Jill, wondering how she was. She had been one of his best friends, as most of his girlfriends started off as, and she was quirky and spunky and gorgeous. All his girlfriends had been gorgeous and—

Garfield immediately shook his head, berating himself mentally for getting distracted so easily.

He had to concentrate.

Vic grunted in return, "OK, man, chill. I didn't say that it would definitely happen but I said that in theory, it would happen." Another grunt, "Passion is not studied in the natural sciences, Gar, but the chemicals produced from this emotion are. I'm just tellin' you that even if you think that you can control your primal side, you still gotta be careful just in case." He shook his head in distress and Garfield still couldn't smell anything, "Scientists aren't scientists just because they all have crazy hair y'know."

Garfield inhaled deeply, trying to slow down his racing heart; partially from anger and partially from anxiety. He had to cope with all the information that he was being given by Vic, had to or not he would never help Raven, had to or he would never be able to continue his 'happily ever after' plans with her. It was hard though, it wasn't like he was Vic and he had all those files in his head that he could willingly delete if he wanted to…

Another pregnant pause held between them and Vic seemed to be considering what he was going to say next. Garfield tried to get his scent but was unable to and for once he didn't like it, he wanted to know why Vic looked like he was holding back a whole lot of information.

"Gar." Vic started.

Gar just looked up, acknowledging his name.

"Jill did come to me once."

"She what?"

Vic took a deep breath, "Jill came to me once. Do you remember that week that she stayed over for Thanksgiving or somethin'?"

Garfield nodded; he remembered it vaguely.

"She had bruises. None that were too bad but…Gar, she did have bruises Gar. Dude, I still remember it like it was yesterday. They were light purple, some yellow…some almost normal coloured but Gar, they were there." He closed his one eyes for a moment as if to relive that memory, "All over her; her wrists, her waist, her arms, her legs. She asked me to get her some painkillers or somethin' since she knew that I handled the meds but Gar…they were there."

"Shit, Vic. Tell me you're lyin'."

"Lyin'?" Vic snorted, "I wish. You know I wouldn't make shit up like this."

Garfield gritted his teeth in frustration, frantically trying to scramble around for a memory of Julia, of sleeping with Julia, of the aftermath, the morning after. Nothing came. He scratched and scraped at his inner thoughts, at an image of Jill with her newly dyed pink hair giggling as he kissed her on Thanksgiving eve and then…

At that second, he realised that Vic might've been right because that night it was…it was vague to him now. Fuzzy, inconsistent with random smells and scents and images coming into his brain as he tried to recollect whatever scrap he could find. It wasn't like he was going to remember everything, but he figured that he wanted to remember some detail, some minuscule description of how it was possible that he had given Jill the bruises that Vic had claimed he had seen. Garfield could try to convince himself that he didn't cause those marks but then he would be lying; he knew as well as anyone that he would never sleep with Jill if he saw those marks beforehand, that he would stop and ask her about them, worry over her frantically, condemning whoever did that to her.

"Jill…no…I…shit." Garfield shook his head, "Did you tell Raven? Did you!?"

"No. I ain't stupid, Gar."

"Dude, it's just not…I can't believe I would do anythin' like that…shit, Vic." He shook his head slowly, taking it all in, "Shit."

"There's still more…if you still want to talk about it. I haven't finished tellin' you 'bout the rest of the stuff I told Raven." Vic grimaced, "We can do this later if you want."

"No, no." He waved a hand, "Go on, let's keep hearing 'bout how much of a dangerous freak I am."

"Shut up, Gar, that's not funny. We know you ain't dangerous, and if you still think that you're dangerous then we must all be dangerous." Vic clickety-clacked again, "You're not the only one with a problem of lack of control. Hell, I think it's better than having too much control."

"Whatever Vic. You're only sayin' that coz whatever you're gonna say next is way worse than what you just told me." Vic avoided his eyes, "So it's true then?" Garfield asked quietly.

"Yea." There was a lack of spirit in that voice that made Vic sound flat; he was _never _flat.

"How the hell can anythin' be way worse than finding out that you beat up your girlfriend while sleepin' with her?"

"Sakutia."

Vic had said it so simply and so quietly that it sounded way more profound than it would've been in any other circumstances. There was an undercurrent of shame and irritation that itched at Gar's ears and they pricked to pick up any other undertone that might be lurking under his deep voice.

"I don't have Sakutia anymore, Vic."

He stayed silent again.

"Vic, I don't have Sakutia anymore…right?"

Vic heaved another sigh and still he did not look at Garfield. Suddenly, he had an urge to scratch at his skin, as if to peel away the layers that barred him from his organs to search for whatever was wrong with him. He had told Raven that he didn't need her, that whatever Vic had told her couldn't be too bad because, well, because she hadn't said it was too bad; she had kept her mouth completely shut.

"Your parents cured you…in a way." Vic's words were rough at the edges and inconsistent, "The Sakutia you have isn't active so right now you won't have any troubles with it but…"

"But what?" Garfield gulped nervously.

His best friend printed out his file slowly and handed it to him, "It's dormant, so it's not gone. It's still there inside you and the insertion of the serum have only slowed down its progress. So, maybe in the future the symptoms will come out again."

"But Mum and Dad said—!"

Vic cut him off, "They probably didn't know. Dormancy is rare when it comes to Sakutia since with diseases like that usually it's either cured or not and so they probably thought they cured it. They were also probably feeling guilty coz you turned green and all…"

"So…what? Does that mean I'll get sick again? After everythin' that I've been through? After turnin' into some green freak and then finding out that I could turn into animals and have even _more _people stare at me! And having Mum and Dad die and landing me with fuckin' Galtry for God knows how long with his stupid, greedy fingers trying to take my parents' money and…and Terra and all this shit and…still?" He accused, standing up aggressively and pointing his finger at Vic's chest, "Still I don't get a break? Still I'm going to die!? _Still_!?"

Suddenly Vic stood up, his calm face never changing but the tone of his voice did, and as he towered over Garfield in all his 6"6' stature, he suddenly felt a little bit intimidated. He had never felt intimidated by Vic before, never in his whole life since becoming a Titan, never even when he had first met him. Now though, there was just something that Garfield couldn't pick up that made him feel a little bit scared of his best friend.

"Gar, this isn't all about you."

Though he still felt the dear seeping into his veins, he gritted his teeth determinedly and looked up to him as he imagined Raven would look up to Garfield, "How is this not all about me? I'm the only one here who had Sakutia! I'm the only one who's gonna die here because of some goddamned disease!"

"Shut up for a moment, Gar!" Vic exclaimed and all Garfield could do to reply was grunt, "If you haven't noticed, this affects Raven too!" Vic growled as Garfield paused at his statement, "The people at S.T.A.R Labs have been developing a cure and it'll be done any day now but Raven! Gar…Sakutia is a virus that is transmitted through bodily fluids."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He seethed.

Another shake of the head; Garfield was getting tired of that movement, "Raven has a slow, if not weak, immune system right now due to all the healings she has done for other people and we don't know if she can handle Sakutia."

"Why the hell would she get—" Garifeld cut himself off as he repeated Vic's sentence in his head, "Oh…oh _no_. You aren't saying that…" He couldn't bring himself to say it, if he did say it, it would become a reality to him that he couldn't handle, one that he did not want to handle.

"If you guys have sex and not do it safely…or if you guys do it safely and then somethin' goes wrong—like the condom breaks or whatever—then it would be highly likely that she would be infected. There is, of course, a chance that she won't be gettin' it but those chances are way, way less." He paused for a moment, "There's also a chance that if you guys have a kid that it would have it too."

"Shit." Garfield grumbled, "Shit. Shit, shit shit. I cannot fuckin' believe this. You're tellin' me that I if anythin' goes wrong when me and Raven do it that she might get infected and you're tellin' me that I can't have kids? Fuck it, I hate—"

He stopped his rant for a moment and took a good look at Vic. He really didn't know what or who he hated right now, or if he even had a right to hate anyone. For a moment there he was about to tell Vic that he hated him, despised him, with all his might…but he realised that was wrong and it technically wasn't his fault that the stupid Sakutia was fucking up his life…_now_, twelve years after he thought that he had been cured by his parents.

Stupid Sakutia.

Stupid Africa.

Stupid Mu—

Another pause, and this time he didn't think out what he was about to say; it scared him that he was about to condemn them so, and really easily as well. There was no need for that, they had not known, couldn't have known and so he let it lie for a bit before his thoughts settled on Raven.

Raven—shit!—she had known and still she was willing to sleep with him, still she had claimed that she wanted to make love with him. Still she loved him, still after all the stuff that Vic had told her, the stuff that Vic was now telling him. Really, she should now hate him, despise him, be disgusted by him, move away from him, keep her distance from him but still she did not and she had not.

Really, it had made his heart swell up a bit more with more love for her than he could possibly handle.

Really, he should try to stop loving her for her own good.

"Gar."

"Hm?" He nodded, only slightly conscious of where he was.

"What're you gonna do now?"

Gar shook his head slowly, "I don't know." The words tasted foreign in his mouth; bitter and with a tangy aftertaste, "She can't be with me, Vic. Too dangerous. She'll get sick and die." Bitter; very, very bitter.

"I'm sayin' that there's a chance, Gar, not that it's definite. And if she gets it then there's the cure that S.T.A.R Labs is developin'."

"I'm not riskin' it." Garfield stated stubbornly, his heart trying to pull back those words back into his chest, "I can't. I don't want her to go through the same things that I did and…if we had kids…I wouldn't want it for my kids either."

"It's not gonna stop her Gar. She loves you and I think that if you told her that you were breaking up with her because of _that _then she'd be real pissed, Gar, and she'd probably beat you up 'til you couldn't move." He cracked a small smile before reverting back to the frown, "I'm bein' serious. Everyone can see that you guys are so frickin' in love with each other; every Titan, every Honorary Titan, hell, I bet you every villain knows it too." He closed the window on the computer screen and sat back down, "She would _hate _you and the Titans are already messed up as it is right now, man. Messed up." He said as an afterthought, as if considering the implications of that word, "We really don't need any more drama."

"Piss off. This isn't about drama, this is about keepin' her safe." He grunted, "If she dies, it would kill me, Vic. Kill me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"So," Vic said finally, "you're really gonna do it then."

Silence, there was no real answer to that statement.

"Break up with her and you'll crush her."

Gar nibbled at his lower lip, feeling the soft cracks and scales, "If I don't she might die."

"It's a risk you'll have to take."

"No I don't…but…"

Vic whistled lowly, as if to agree with him, "Just don't hurt her man, make sure she understands why you're doin' this, make sure that she isn't offended by what you're sayin'." Vic patted him on the shoulder, a masculine way of saying that he understood and that he would back him up, but he would be very pissed if he hurt her.

He would not hurt her; Garfield didn't dare to entertain such thoughts.

It seemed to be his cue to speak again but he didn't take it, and let the silence lie until Vic spoke up again, "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Garfield nodded staunchly, "Tomorrow…yes…" he closed his eyes for a moment, imagining her scent, "Maybe."

There was no need for words after that, and both men knew about it. There would be no need for words until tomorrow, Garfield had decided, when he had gathered all his thoughts and planned out his actions for what was to come. It would hurt, both him and her, and he wouldn't be able to sleep for days afterwards, probably imagining and reminiscing about her scent, her touch, her taste…but…it would have to do. He would have to move on and he would have to urge her to move on even if it hurt.

Especially if it hurt.

Tomorrow would be a day for words but today…today he would be comforted by the tinkering noises of machines and the bleeping of lights. There would be cold steel and sleek silver wrapped around the walls and ceilings and there would be that unscented man that he called his best friend. His best friend with his observing black eye and his analysing red eye, could watch over him and somehow, Garfield knew, that his presence would somehow calm him, if not completely make him better.

Today that would be enough.

Tomorrow was a day for more.

**A/N: All the "problems" that both Raven and Beast Boy have are completely made up just for this fanficcie, I wouldn't dare claim them as facts.**

**DC would probably hunt me down and kill me!**

**Anyways, what did you guys think? Sorry for the bit of OOCness, per usual.**

**See you next time!**


	14. In the middle of a colour cartoon, I cry

**A/N: I know this is overdue and I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry about it. You know how senior year is and this whole Christmas/New Year's holiday was just as hectic as the rest of the school year due to evil assignments and deadlines.**

**I'm also sorry that this is a REALLY short chappie but I found it hard to write more because, well, I already put it what I really wanted.**

**Notes on the actual chappie will be in the A/N below.**

**ENJOY! And don't forget to review!  
**

**Chapter 14**

She knew.

She had known right from the minute that he had left her room yesterday to find out what was bothering her so much, what Vic has told her that was so urgent. Raven had known that the news would hit him where it hurts and twist the pain a little so that the sting would be prolonged, and she knew how he would react. He was an angry person under all that superficial happiness, and right now he would be angry at her—for not telling him—at his parents—for not curing him—at Vic—for not going straight to him—and finally, at himself, because he knew that he shouldn't blame all those people, and he knew that there would be no use trying to fix things because they wouldn't be fixed.

He was going to break up with her.

Raven had told herself that it would be OK, that she was going to break up with him anyway sooner or later due to the issues with the bond but…but she didn't think that she'd feel this…_hurt_…over it; at the concept of him breaking up with her. She knew that it was for her own good and she had been steeling herself for it these past twenty four hours, but it didn't help…she still felt so completely helpless and so…abandoned, for some odd reason.

It was the reason why she constantly felt like she needed air and had finally settled on going outside the Tower and to just sit at the edge of the island before being reminded instantly that it was in that very spot that Garfield had expressed his affections for her two years ago. She shook her head as soon as that thought came creeping into her mind, and just let her fingers get themselves entangled into the rough mass of grass around her; it was almost spring and nature was just starting to come alive once more, quite ironic considering the fact that he was going to end it with her soon. It was cold, but not cold enough that her coat couldn't keep her fairly warm and the wind kept howling through her ears, as if trying to rub her ache in her face. Raven noted that it was dark as the sunset had come to past, but there were purple streaks in the sky dotted with stars that indicated twilight instead of night. Everything was beautiful and heartbreakingly perfect, like a set for a movie, like it was preparing for something dramatic and chaotic to provoke.

Sigh.

The break up in itself wasn't going to be too bad, she figured, it was the aftermath that bothered her. Raven didn't know what would happen to their interactions; the team was already so dishevelled right now that another conflict wouldn't help the situation, but she had known the consequences of their personal lives and she knew that there was nothing she could do about it. It was just that…she would miss the intimacy that she and Garfield shared, the feeling that there really was no boundary between them, the small things that they would do for each other to make sure that the other was OK, the talks that ranged from deep and philosophical to completely full of balderdash and the fact that he had opened her up a little more than before. He had done that, she finally admitted grudgingly, and he was very good at it; in his company she found herself doing things that she wouldn't dream doing normally and she also felt a little looser with him, less controlled, less inhibited. That was a quality that she never thought he'd express but he did, and she was glad that he had, because it made her feel content and…_good _about herself.

She shuddered and her hands automatically reached out to rub her arms. The cool air was warmer than normal but every breath that she exhaled still created mist-shapes that danced lightly in the air, before being picked up by the wind. The indigo shapes in the sky were fading and they were slowly blending into the harsh black that blanketed the night sky. Raven curled her legs into her arms and continued to look around her while thinking other thoughts; the ocean was especially beautiful tonight with the sharp waves jutting out occasionally and the light _slosh-slosh _sound that echoed the way her heart thumped at that moment. It was beautiful, but still her thoughts stayed on what was to come.

Suddenly, she felt warm fingers prod at her shoulder before tracing it gently, eliciting a sharp sigh from her and arousing strong, colourful emotions from him. They were all familiar and yet…new…to her, especially in this context of separation and finality. They were all cautious and wary with smatterings of hesitation and love intertwined between those feelings and so alien for someone who always seemed to have an optimistic bubble around their body. The action of his hand on her shoulder itself made her sigh with reminisce of their first real physical contact with each other; his fingers intermingled with hers, the warmth radiating from his hand and the slow progress that it took for them to get to that point. It was all so overwhelming and she didn't like it one bit, not at all.

"Hey…"

She turned, her dark eyes locking with his green ones, and she found them to be haggard looking, not at all like the usual vibrant nature that naturally shone from them. He didn't seem to want to end it at all, and judging by the way he showed hesitation on sitting next to her told her that he might be having second thoughts on it.

"Hello Garfield."

There was an awkward pause between and a realisation made her laugh inwardly, if bitterly; he knew that she knew that he was planning on breaking up with her.

"I spoke to Vic." The shortness of the statement confirmed her suspicions.

She nodded slowly, closing her eyes momentarily to feel the rustle of grass beneath her as he sat down, "Yes, I know." Another pause, but she was determined to continue, "I take it that you didn't receive it well."

He snorted, and threw her a bitter grin, "You think? Raven, he practically told me that my life was over!"

"I would guess so." The sardonic tone was creeping into her voice rapidly and she didn't know how to stop it, and surprisingly, she didn't want to, "Which was worse?"

"What?" He scoffed, "Between the fact that you can't have kids, that you have a broken immune system, that I turn into some freakish abusive monster when I have sex, that I have Sakutia and I'm gonna die or I'll give it to you and then _you'll _die or even that if _you _don't get Sakutia, our kids will and they'll die?" She watched as he slowly brushed a hand through the mass of moss green hair, "It's like a frickin' bag of Pick 'n' Mix in a candy store."

At some other time, she would've smiled at his brilliant analogy but this was no laughing matter and he didn't think that she could laugh about it anyway; in doing so she would further hurt herself and hurt him. Raven didn't really know how to react either, though, and she felt that staying silent would be the best reply that he would get from her.

He took a quick look at her and for those few seconds she felt the fleeting anger directed at her, "It was like…" he groaned in frustration, "it was like me being happy about everything just came to pieces and Vic just dropped a frickin' nuclear bomb over my life." Garfield shook his head, his fingers scratching at his ears as they twitched from side to side, "I know, I know it's not Vic's fault. He was only tryin' to help me and…_agh_!"

"I'm sorry." She said finally.

"It's not…It's not…" His hands had moved down to his neck, rubbing at his green skin in frustration as his mouth struggled with the words, fumbling around clumsily, "It's…OK." There was a finality to the way he said those words, "I would've found out one way or another."

"I guess so…but…"

"Why did you do it?" His emotions suddenly pounced on her and she gripped at the grass to keep herself from staggering backwards, "Why did you ask Vic to find all this information?"

Raven took a good look at him before replying, "I…I wanted to make sure that I didn't endanger you if we ever…if we ever consummated our relationship." She sighed heavily and looked into her hands, "I didn't want you to get hurt."

"And now _you'd _be the one getting hurt if you stay with me." He laughed, the bitterness entering his voice once more, "_Ironic_." He shook his head and his laugh grew even louder though it sounded gruffer and rougher than the normal, light hearted laugh she was used to hearing, "And you know what? I wouldn't be usin' that word properly if it weren't for you."

The silence came back again and both parties spent that time looking out at the sea. Raven had no idea what he was thinking about while they both mulled in silence, and though she did have _some _thin sliver of telepathic ability in her, she didn't think that she wanted to know what he was thinking about. There was a vague sort of apprehension oozing from him when she used her empathic powers on him, but she didn't know if she was imposing her own emotions on him or if they were truly, naturally his. It was like the times before their relationship except multiplied by an infinite number; everything felt awkward and strange, like the boundaries that she had been slowly letting down built up again, and stronger, in the sense that she refused to let anything through. Words came to the entrance of her mouth but never left and an urge to just…just take his hand and make him feel better overcame her, but she didn't act on it. The barrier had been installed since Garfield sat down next to her and she had a funny feeling that it wouldn't be coming down anytime soon.

A sharp wind suddenly blew past them and she instinctively tugged at her sleeves to try to gain more warmth. That small reaction didn't go unnoticed by Garfield—why would it? He had the most acute senses Raven had ever known in a person—and before she knew it, he had brushed the strands of her wind-mussed hair away from her face and behind her ears. She felt the heat rush to her face as his fingers accidentally brushed against her skin whilst he retracted his hand rapidly, blushing a peculiar shade of purple. It was a force of habit, she realised sullenly, every single time he found stray hairs near her face, he would brush them away even if it didn't bother her; it was so _normal _that it felt odd, especially considering their current situation.

"Sorry." He mumbled, looking away.

Raven nodded slowly, "It's OK."

"No…no it's not." He pursed his lips momentarily, never taking his eyes off the ocean, "We shouldn't be doing this anymore, Rae, you know that."

She stayed silent for a while, pondering on what to say, "My rational side would say that I understood however…Garfield, you have always told me that emotions are important too and…" she shrugged to herself, "and…I believe that despite the things that Vic has said, I still want to stay with you and at least…_try_."

"I know Rae, trust me, I know but…we just can't. I _can't_." He sighed, "It would be selfish of me if I did stay coz I'd know the end of it and I didn't do anythin' bout it."

"We don't—"

He grunted in anger, "Yes we _do _and you know that better than _I _do." Finally, he turned his whole body towards her, "We just have to _stop_. Stop." Garfield added, almost like an afterthought.

"We do not have to do _anything _Garfield. Yes, I understand that there are some precautions that we must follow in order to stay…safe…but it doesn't mean that it's impossible for us to stay together."

"It's not _safe_ though! Rae…Raven…I can't…I can't lose you, you know that…" Affection burst through all the other emotions and it stung a little, "I can't lose you like that…not like that."

"Then how would you prefer that you _lost _me, Garfield? How?"

"It's just that…it won't be hard…the break, I'll make it clean, I promise. It'll be like before, like these two years never happened."

"And you think that'll make me _happier_?" She hissed, "Forget these whole two years?"

"Not happier." He grunted, "_Safer_."

Raven twisted her whole body to face him, both fists settled on her hips quite stubbornly. There was something in his tone of voice that irritated her despite his good intentions. She had promised herself that she wouldn't protest and she would make sure that the break was clean and calm, but right now it felt hard to not get caught up with her emotions. Ironic, considering how controlling she was over them, even with Garfield's attempts to loosen her up.

"_Safer_." She stated flatly, "_Safer_. Garfield, there _is _no _safer _for us Titans. One way or another we face danger every single day, and I don't see how this is any different."

"It's different because _I'll _be the one who'd endanger you, Rae. I thought you'd understand."

Raven clenched her fists tighter as if she would physically hurt him but then loosened them after a while, "I know…and I _do _understand. I knew you were going to end it and I was expecting it but…" she shook her head, "it hurts and I _know _that what we should do is the most logical way to go about it but…" a laugh slipped out of her lips, "By Azar, I'm acting ridiculously."

"No you're not." He grabbed her hand and she gasped; it was the first physical contact—apart from the touch on her shoulder—that he had initiated between them for the past twenty-four hours and it felt…right. There were no other words for it, just that as soon as his large hands enveloped her tiny ones, there was just a warmth that spread throughout the whole of her and there were tingles—she grinned inwardly at the word—that sincerely excited her. She was going to miss it, she was going to miss _all _of it, "Rae, there is no one in this world who wants _this _to work out more badly than I do. Shit, Rae, I love you and nothin's gonna change it." His thumb massaged her palm affectionately, and she was comforted by the love she found sparking in that action, "You are _everything _to me and as cheesy as it sounds, losing everything wouldn't be all that great." The pressure on her palm built and she felt him sweat slightly, "I've never felt this way bout anyone Rae, and I don't wanna lose that feeling, or the person who caused it." He grinned at her but it quickly slipped away, "Not Terra…not Jill…but _you_. Fuck it…this is harder than I thought."

Garfield pulled away and her hand suddenly felt cold all over again, though technically that would be ridiculous since his hand was on hers for only a few seconds. She cradled her knees and rocked slowly, following the silent rhythm that the ocean had and she let her mind empty itself of all thoughts that she deemed unnecessary. The conversation was going slower than she had expected it to be, and she relished every moment of it, if only to extend her time with Garfield for a little while longer.

"It's going to be hard, you know? Getting back to our old routines." Raven flashed him a smile, but from his grimace, he must've seen past it, "I don't think I even remember what it was like."

"Beating the crap outta me and makin' fun of me, that's what you did most of the time." A twinkle appeared in his eye as he said those words, "Though, you still do it now."

Raven raised a brow at him, "And your activities mostly composed of you flailing about randomly, doing nothing useful and bothering me with whatever new discovery you had. However, as you pointed out, you still do that."

At the revelation, they both fell into that comforting puddle of silence. What they had just declared to each other made it all seem harder; the transition between friendship and relationship was too thin and the only thing that really separated it was the physical.

Raven watched quietly as his breathing slowed to a steady pace and found it slightly amusing that he had a hand over his chest, as if trying to measure the beats of his heart. _That _made her smile; she remembered quite clearly the many times that he had pressed her hand against his chest and she remembered in detail the _first _time she had felt the sensations of his syncopated heart beat. The syncopation of it was odd in itself, but what made it even more peculiar was the fact that Garfield claimed that she was the cause of it; it was highly flattering, but she figured it was scientifically inaccurate.

It didn't stop her from making her smile though.

"So how is it going to be a clean break if everything is going to stay the same? Garfield, this is an impossible feat…we clearly cannot do this unless one of us…" Raven let the sentence trail off as she what she was about to say.

He peered at her curiously, "Unless what?"

Unless one of them left, she realised. With the absence of the other, the hurt would heal quicker and they would forget—no matter how hard one kept to their memories—and even if they remembered, it would be a thing of the past, a summer fling, a first love that wasn't meant to be. Except…except that she had this vague inkling that if she couldn't find the man she loved in Garfield then she would have an extremely difficult time to find it in someone else. The process of going from acquaintances to friends to lovers had been a long one and it was tiring. It made Raven just weary thinking about it and she didn't think that she could go through it all over again.

"Unless what, Rae?"

"Unless one of us leaves," she frowned at him wearily, "and I highly doubt that it would be you who left."

His eyes widened at that, the whites contrasting greatly with his green eyes, "Leave…that's a bit extreme Rae, you don't have to do that. I…" he shook his head, "the team still needs you, Rae, and even if we're not together. Like…_together _together then we can still be friends right? And friend stick it out for each other…right?" There was a sort of desperation in his voice that seemed almost child-like, but it made Raven even more irritated than before.

"You know we cannot, Gar, it'll just make things…harder. We need to be as separate as we can be if we want to make this work. At least for a while." Raven grimaced, "Gar, you _know _all this, I _know _you do so why—by Azar!—are you trying to make it harder?" She heaved a heavy sigh and crossed her arms across her chest.

His face fell, "I know…and…shit…I know it's gonna be hard and I know it's my decision but…I just…you _know _I didn't want this to happen, right?"

"No, of course I didn't." Sarcasm coated her words thickly, "Of course I thought that we'd stay together forever and ever after what Vic told you." Raven pursed her lips, "I'm not stupid, Garfield."

He grinned, probably at the familiarity of her scathing remarks, and she realised that despite the topic of conversation being their break up, they were acting as if they were still in a relationship. All they were doing was sitting in the middle of nowhere, having a sort of conversation and just basking in the comfort that came with being in each other's company. Garfield was right, _she _was right; this was going to be a lot harder than it should be. It wasn't just because they lived together—which was hard enough—they were friends with the same people, they had the same job, they breathed the same air, ate the same food. Raven thought that she could swallow all that, suck it up and get through the day without being all soppy and reminiscent except that…except now they both knew that they had some sort of connection and it would be extremely difficult to go back to being ignorantly blissful because she had an inkling that they would remember about the connection every single time they attempted to be _just friends_.

_Just friends_, the damned word didn't even sound real.

"So, OK, if bein' just friends isn't gonna work out then what _is_?" Garfield asked sincerely, "We can't go on ignoring each other for the rest of our lives…"

"We can for one more year." Raven said wryly, "Well, you can choose to stay but _I'm _leaving."

"Oh…I forgot about that." He frowned and Raven got the impression that he still held his fairy-tale ending—that involved her—close to his heart even with all the messed up news he had received, "That's gonna be a hell of a year, Rae." He threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly and in authentic Garfield Logan style, "God, Rae, why does this have to be so _hard_?"

"Because if life was easy then we would all be sitting around on a really tacky beach somewhere sipping something hideous like a martini or something." She sighed as she heard him chuckle at the image, "And if love was easy then we'd all get bored."

That was true enough as it seemed at the moment. She had watched enough chick flicks—Kori would have to take the credit here—to last her a lifetime and by the end of the marathon she had worked out that if they had gotten together quite simply—read: right at the beginning without all that nonsensical drama—then they probably wouldn't have lasted. There was something to be said about turbulences in a relationship, it made everything seem much more exciting than something that came out from a kitschy 1950's movie.

Suddenly, she remembered why she had been feeling so guilty up to this moment; they were breaking up—or _had_ already broken up? Raven wasn't really sure about these things—and she still hadn't told Garfield about her situation with Dick and the bond. It wasn't really something that she had to tell him, really, now that they had _officially _decided to end their somewhat tumultuous relationship, but she still felt strangely obliged to and…

"Gar."

"Huh?" Her voice snapped him out of his reverie, "What?"

…she changed her mind as soon as he threw that bland and completely oblivious look; as much as the break needed one, she didn't want to put another wedge in their already complicated relationship.

"Nothing."

Except…there was something…apart from the whole bond thing, that is. The break up…it just felt all wrong; it was too calm. Raven has expected at least some sort of spat that would make them hate each other's guts so that moving on would be oh so much easier than what they were doing; having a somewhat civil conversation like two people who hadn't met each other in a long time. She couldn't move on if she didn't have _some _sort of reason to wedge them apart; Sakutia wasn't enough because she would have stayed with him for as long as she could to help him get through it. It was incredibly soppy, and something that the _old _Raven wouldn't do, but she would do it in a heart beat and Raven figured that he would do the same for her too if the situation had been switched.

He was clearly thinking the same thoughts too, "Raven…what if we can't…" he scratched a pointed ear and frowned, "stay away from each other?"

She scowled; what a perfectly Garfield Logan thing to say, "You make us sound like a pair of sex maniacs. And we haven't even…" she let the sentence trail off on its own as soon as she realised what she was about to say.

Raven watched as he shuffled uncomfortably in his spot, rubbing at his arms and scratching his ears fervently. His mouth twisted fervently as if he was about to speak, but he kept hesitating and clamping his mouth shut like a pearl oyster on overdrive. His green skin seemed paler too but that may have just been her imagination, and she could see the hairs on his arm stand though she wasn't sure if that was just because of the cold.

They hadn't talked about last night—well, how could they have? He was practically ignoring her to the point that she thought that maybe she really _was _invisible—especially the events prior to his talk with Vic. He hadn't mentioned a glimmer of it and now that the topic of sex was brought up, the event seemed a tad awkward considering they were now breaking up a day after they almost had sex. Last night had been…intense…to say the least and the details that kept hammering back into her head made her wince not because of the actual actions—she remembered quite sharply that he had been showering kisses all along her jaw line and had actually purred into her ears, nibbling on her earlobes simultaneously while she had been trailing her fingers over his well defined chest and her fingers had continued to trail…downwards—that made her feel slightly uncomfortable at the memory but also at how forward she was, at how uninhibited she felt at that time. It had been a stirring pot of emotions but the only emotion she could remember had provoked her to keep going, because—_Azar_—she had wanted it as badly as Garfield wanted it, and he wanted it _a lot_.

"Do you regret it?" He said finally, his eyes firmly attached to his hands.

"Regret what, specifically?" Raven asked, partially bemused at the turn of conversation, "We didn't do anything, we haven't done anything."

His thick, moss-like brows met each other at the centre as he moved his gaze to her, "That's what I'm talkin' bout. Do you regret not havin' sex? I mean I kinda got the feeling that you were ready and all after these two years and—_bam_!—all this shit comes up."

"Is there really any use in talking about this _now_?" He made a slight grunting noise and she relented, "But if you really want the truth then, _yes_, I do feel some sort of regret over not having slept with you because," Raven sighed as her brows knitted together, mirroring his own brows, "well, as you said, I was ready."

"You'll find someone else. Someone _way _hotter than me." He half-joked.

"That's the thing, Gar, I don't think it'll be that easy trying to find _someone else_." That was the truth of it, at least, "I spent a long time contemplating on whether or not I was ready and I decided that I _was _because _you _were the right person."

This time, she felt his emotions suddenly plunge downwards drastically and her body physically felt like it wanted to be pulled downwards too. His facial expression had changed too but she couldn't put a finger on what had changed, despite her usual perceptiveness. There was just something _lost _in the way her moved in his spot but it wasn't that visible. Usually, she would be annoyed at the fact that she couldn't figure out this mystery action but right now she didn't find it all that important.

"Well…" she watched him carefully as he attempted a grin at her, "you'll find someone, I promise. Just…don't let it be Dick, OK?"

She raised a questioning brow at his peculiar request.

"What!?" He flailed his arms around, "Seriously, I know you guys are chummy and all but right now he's still a downright bastard."

Raven nodded, "Agreed. Knowing every part of him doesn't help me want him anyway."

Dick was mentioned again. By Azar, was there ever going to be a time when she wasn't going to be reminded about her problem _every waking moment of her life_? She needed to solve a problem at a time, and now she wanted to solve this problem of breaking up with Garfield. Well, technically it was him who was breaking up with her, but she knew that the feeling was mutual because she had needed to break up with him, though for more selfish reasons that Garfield's. Also, she had a vague feeling that they would've split somewhere along the road in the future anyway, and cutting their relationship loose now may have been for the better because—as they say—young hearts heal faster. Except…well, except she didn't feel very young. Raven hadn't really felt young since she was told that she would be the portal of death and destruction. _Death _and _destruction _didn't really help you live happy, blissful, young lives.

"Gar."

"Yea?"

She fumbled with the edge of her sleeve slowly, not looking at him, "You know, broken up couple aren't supposed to have civil conversations like this. I vaguely remember some chick flicks dictating that we should be screaming down each other's throats and ignoring each other until either we get back together again, the other has already found a new partner or they died."

He chuckled, his green eyes sparkling briefly, "I know…but…it hasn't sunk in yet has it?" He waited for her to nod before continuing, "I mean I feel completely crap and sorry and regretful and shit like that but…I know that I'll miss talking to you."

"We'll talk, I'm sure. I mean, I doubt there is any other way we can communicate when discussing strategies or training."

"No." Garfield shook his head, "Not like that. Like _this_." He picked up a pebble from the ground and threw it at the blue fabric that was strewn around the island, "Just me and you, chillin' and just…talkin'."

She frowned, though Raven felt a little smirk tugging at the corners of her lips, "We're hardly talking, Gar…and we're not exactly chilling, as you put it so crudely. We're being awkward and strange and yet we're both still here." She laughed quietly and was surprised that there was hardly and bitterness in her tone, "Doesn't really help the situation, does it?"

He echoed her laugh, "No, but don't you wanna pretend that we're still datin'? Even just for a little while, you know, until we _have to _get back inside."

"I would be lying if I said that I didn't but…" There was a pause as she scrambled around for the right words, "…it's going to make the situation worse."

"I guess…but…you know how I am." Garfield nodded slowly but she wasn't sure whether he was nodding to himself or to her, "What are we gonna tell the others?"

Raven thought on this for the moment, settling her thoughts on each of the characters that were stuck inside the Tower. Dick was out of the Tower but she figured that he'd find out anyway, him being in her head all the time and whatnot. Vic probably knew that Garfield was going to break up with her and Kori…she actually didn't know what to tell Kori. The Tamaranian lived and breathed optimism even with the recent cynicism that she had acquired from her own break up with Dick, and the girl had such high hopes about Raven and Garfield that it felt…wrong to break up, even if it was just for Kori's sake.

"We do nothing, we say nothing." Raven stated surely, "They'll find out on their own."

"Yea…"

He shrugged slowly, causing Ravens focus to settle on his shoulders and she sighed. There was a sudden urge for her to rest her head on his shoulders but she knew that it wasn't the right way to go about things even if they were breaking up pretty…amicably. It would just blur the line between friends and lovers all over again and…well…if this separation was to work out—on both parties—then they couldn't have any sort of confusion, lest it would all be futile.

Sigh.

"It's getting pretty late, Garfield." Raven said suddenly, "I should be heading back in soon."

The words were out of her mouth before she realised what she was saying but she didn't take them back. Raven had a feeling that if she stayed any longer, she wouldn't want to go, and she wouldn't—couldn't—move on if she didn't go. It was mutual it seemed, except Garfield's emotions were plucking at her heartstrings, almost compelling her to stay put in her spot.

"Now?" His voice sounded gritty, "Just a little—"

Raven shook her head, cutting his sentence off, and stood up from her spot, dusting off imaginary—well, maybe not imaginary…they _were _outside after all—dirt off her jeans and making sure that she looked decently presentable before going back inside to face the others. The way his voice shook was pulling her back in and she refused to look at his face; the hurt would be magnified ten times over if she saw his expression.

She turned to leave, but not before she felt his fingers entangle into her own and in that one second, flashes of emotions and images just sped past her, flooding her with all sorts of memories that she shared with him. The intensity of it all left her breathing haggard and she risked looking back at him for one last fleeting moment.

Raven regretted it instantly.

Garfield looked like a little lost boy in search of his mother in a supermarket, only to find out that his mother had completely forgotten about him and abandoned him in that busy public area. Everything about him looked a little…rumpled; his eyebrows, his nose, his eyes, his mouth…there wasn't one area on his face that made it seem like he was partially OK with their break up and he would try his hardest to keep it that way. Her empathic powers unwittingly wrapped themselves around him and backed away as soon as they discovered how…broken…he was feeling and the little voice in the back of her head kept telling her to stay put and to try to stop the separation, try to find a way around the reasons for their break up, try to…

"Stay?" Garfield whispered lowly and his fingers tightened around hers, "Please?"

_Lost._

Raven was immediately reminded about people who jumped off buildings to commit suicide; it was rarely the impact that killed them, rather it was the shock of having done so. There was a feeling of peace as the wind grazed their suicidal faces and a finality of the sort when they realised that everything that had made them miserable, everything that had led them to this particular event, was going to come to an end, and all that was left for the last few seconds of life was the feeling of wind pushing against them, as if they were flying.

And so it finally sunk in, like the fall and the impact, Raven suddenly realised after all this time that their separation was _final_. There was no more comfort in just being with the other person, no more touches that could make everything seem well, no conversations that led nowhere and no…no more sharing the love they had for each other. She would be well and truly alone; she loved her friends—she _did_!—and losing them would hurt too but…it was different. There was no other word to describe it because it just felt that way. It felt _different_.

"_Logan_." She finally snapped, snatching her fingers away from his grip, "_You _were the one who decided the make this break! _You _were the one who decided that I was too damned delicate for you to handle!" She snarled and watched his face fall as he backed away a little from her, "So, by _Azar_, let me _go _so I can move on as quickly as possible without dwelling on how _stupid _I've been for loving you as much as I did. For loving someone as _selfish _as _you _are!" She scowled as his sadness whipped at her own emotions, "Because you _are _selfish for not considering how _I _might feel about you and your _problems_! So, _let me go_!" Raven shouted finally, ignoring how odd her shouting voice sounded like.

It seemed like she had won, as he no longer tried to reach out for her hand. Raven tried to calm herself down for the first few seconds after her surprising outburst. She hadn't meant to shout at him, but it had just come out; all that pent out frustration just came bubbling over, tipping the cauldron that kept all her emotions in check. It wasn't good for her powers if she let herself get out of control, and she was glad—and a tad surprised—that all her anger had done was cause a couple of rocks to explode and a small crack to form at the edge of the island.

Without a second thought, she turned around, ready to walk out on him in all earnest, hoping—rather selfishly—that he was feeling too dumbfounded to stop her and do something extremely stupid that might annoy her even more. But before she could even take a step towards the Tower, he had pulled her into him roughly, grabbing her by the head with every finger woven into her mass of dark indigo hair, and crushing their lips together so forcefully that Raven didn't even realise what was happening until a couple of seconds later. Her knees buckled underneath her but it was all done so quickly that she didn't have time to give in but by _Azar_, she had wanted to and still wanted to.

Garfield pulled back slowly, releasing her, "I'm sorry." There was guilt in his tone and in his own aura as he made his apology. It was slow and forced but it was sincere, "I'm sorry." He looked up at her, his big green eyes pleading quietly to her, "I love you." Garfield said finally.

Raven's eyes widened and she stood stock still, not knowing what or how to respond to such a violent and passionate action, and so she turned and walked away without looking at him _or _his eyes; her footsteps trudging slowly towards the place she called home. Her fingers traced her lips slowly, feeling the slight bruising and swelling caused by the kiss that he had forced upon her, tasting the slight saltiness that reminded her of all the anger, sadness, love, guilt and sheer frustration that was in that kiss. It was almost hungry, primal and animalistic…factors that were associated with him but didn't give him justice. _This_ was what she was going to remember him by now, his last action towards her; utter passion unfiltered by the raging sense of urgency.

Her heart plummeted at every step she took towards the Tower as the break up sunk deeper and deeper into him, penetrating the core so that it would be forever etched in every part of her body, etched in every marrow that filled her bone. She would be broken for a while and she would need to escape, need to distract herself, need to force herself to heal for the sake of others. Raven had not been lying when she had told him that one of them needed to leave for the sake of the other, and though Jump City was currently enveloped in cold weather, she knew that her destination would prove to be even colder. There was no time to lose, she would need to pack her essentials and she would need to concentrate on the reasons why she would be leaving rather than dwell on her broken heart.

As she walked slowly through the corridors, she suddenly stopped, a realisation came to her, slapping her senseless a moment too late. Her hands reached out to wipe her suddenly damp cheers and she had to stop to lean on the wall for a little while as her joints felt drastically weaker than they should be. A cold draft blew threw her clothes and her lips felt dry despite the sudden urge to lick her lips continuously. There was no way she could go back outside to speak to Garfield, no way there would be time and no way she could ever just turn back time in order to fit in that one little sentence.

Raven realised, with regret hacking away at her, that she forgot to tell him the most important sentence of all.

Raven realised that she forgot to tell Garfield a simple, "I love you".

**A/N: SO what did you think? In my opinion the chapter is a little so-so for my tastes but I DO really like some parts of it. But, it did turn out really differently to what I actually wanted it to be originally and there are some aspects that I wanted to discuss!  
**

**-Originally, this was supposed to be a completely huge-ass screaming match between Raven and Beast Boy, something a little more dramatic than this ever so slightly melancholic + mutual break up. BUT since it was BEAST BOY who was the one breaking them up, I realised that Raven would immediately understand because this was the most "logical" solution to BOTH their problems (BB's Sakutia + Raven's bond thingy). I mean, if it was RAVEN who broke them apart (before the whole Sakutia thing and only because of the bond problem) I can totally see this turning into a huge fight because of how BB would probably see no reason to break them apart and would be completely pissed off that she chose RObin over him.  
**

**- I also made it like this because in my opinion, breaks up like these (you know the sort, when everything just seems too calm, and you IMMEDIATELY act decent to each other after breaking up) hurt a little more than screaming matches because in screaming matches you can just blame the other person for being an idiot, etc but when they're like this is just feels a little like you're to blame too, you know?**

**- This chappie (if anyone's noticed) was supposed to mirror chappie 17 in "Renovation" and all, I just found it really ironic how they broke up in almost the same way that they (kinda) got together.**

**- Who here thinks that Starfire should be told? And who here thinks that Starfire will "get it" right away?**

**- Anyone ACTUALLY missing Robin? I kinda am, I want him and his OCD-ness back!!!  
**

**Anyway, that's all for now I guess. If anyone has any plot lines you want to share with me, be my guest because seriously, you guys have been a BIG help for me when I develop this story.**

**Oh yea, almost forgot.**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEE FORGIVE ME FOR BREAKING THEM UP!!! PLEASEEEE??????????????**

**Also, don't forget to review!**

**See you next time!**

**-MonkeeNoodles  
**


	15. HereNow

**A/N: Hola mi amigos...I am BACK! For a while anyway...final exams are nearing and so I'm not sure I'll be able to update as much as I do...not that I update that quick anyway...**

**:grin:**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy one of my weaker chappies and please review, I really appreciate it!**

**Oh yea, some notes at the bottom!**

**-MonkeeNoodles**

**Chapter 15**

There were many reasons why she hadn't come to this city while she was travelling and the reasons immediately came back to her as soon as she set foot on the border. Aesthetically, the city was beautiful, and if you pushed it far enough you could almost call it _scenic _with its old, gothic buildings in between more modern buildings that glowed beautifully in the sun…except sun was sparse here. She could feel the evil—no, that was too harsh a word—the _wickedness _that seeped through every fibre of this city and the emotions sent shivers down her spine. There were more reasons behind her not going here prior to the Titans but there were too many to count but they all basically based themselves around the fact that this place was too…erratic…too devious and just too…dark. It was too dark for her own tastes and that was saying something.

_Gotham_.

Raven didn't really know why she had led herself to this city, only remembering that it was an impulse action that she had thought of after the—she scrambled around in her head for a word—_unfortunate _break up. There was just a feeling that she needed space and she needed to finish off the deal with the bond and bring Dick back and…and try to make everything as normal as she could make it be. There were a lot of reasons that compelled her to come to a city with the highest crime rate in the USA, but most had been centred around Garfield and normalcy…or whatever normalcy she could achieve by making the team a whole again instead of the frail pieces that they were now.

She hadn't told anyone except Kori about her leaving—though Raven had a sneaking suspicion that Vic somehow knew what the result would be like—and even then she didn't tell Kori that she was going to leave sunny Jump City for dreary Gotham. Kori hadn't really been supportive of the break as she didn't really know _why _they had broken up—it was a private matter, she figured, and would be best left to Garfield to decide whether or not it was worth publicising—and Raven suspected that Kori would be even less supportive if she told her that she was going to go to Gotham; Dick was still a touchy subject and though she was looking forward to going on her date with this Crawford character, the absence of their team's leader was apparent on her best friend's face.

She sighed, taking in the cold air and herself, enveloping her body further in her simple black coat.

It was going to be a long day.

--

_Flashback_

"_I do not understand…" Kori spoke slowly, her green eyes glowing dimly, "You and Garfield are the…_broken up_?"_

_Raven nodded, rubbing at her left arm, "Yes." There was no need for a long answer, a word would suffice._

"_But…I do not understand…why have you separated?" Kori asked, "I presumed that you two are—" Her best friend shook her head rapidly, "_were _happy. Do happy couples not stay together or have I been mistaken?"_

_She paused for a moment, wondering what to tell Kori, before shrugging, "It's complicated. We were happy but…we had our fair share of problems." Raven sighed, crossing her arms across her chest, "Alongside the fact that our team hasn't been in the best shape lately, we both figured that our problems would have to be dealt some other time and so we…" she paused, "broke up."_

_That whole last sentence had been a lie and Raven kept the straightest face that she could ever hold—which was pretty good, seeing as she had been practising all her life—because Raven personally knew that no matter how naïve or ditzy Kori could appear, she was extremely sharp when it came to lies._

_Kori was murmuring to herself as Raven stayed silent as she sat on the wooden chair quietly with her long fingers tapping at her chin. As her best friend continued to wrap her head around the situation, Raven took a good look at her surroundings, taking in everything that came with it. The main study—quite different to Dick's in the way that it wasn't such a mess of newspaper clippings and such—was filled with books and if it was any other time than now, Raven would have taken the time to flip through a couple of books and stay here for a long period of time, not really knowing how much of it had gone by, but right now wasn't the time and both of them knew it._

_Kori bit her lips while her hand raked through her red locks thoughtfully, "I still do not think I am quite understanding the situation…you say you were happy and you have broken up?" She raised a flaming brow at her, "Sister, as much as I believe that the Titans are having problems, I do not think that those are reason enough to do the breaking up. You were—" Kori shook her head fervently, her hair flailing everywhere, "_are _in love…both of you. I have seen it with my very own eyes and by _x'hal_, I am doing the betting that there is no one that has greater love than the two you share." She paused for a moment before continuing, "Jinx and Vic are amiable but they are no match to you two. I will regret not being able to be seeing you two together."_

"_We'll still be together…as friends or…" Raven shook her head slowly, "acquaintances. Whichever would suit us best." _

_There was a disapproving look to Kori's face as she finished her sentence, causing Raven to feel a little skittish inside. Usually, it was _her _who did the disapproving but sometimes—when she felt _really _strongly about it—Kori could disapprove like there was no tomorrow, and the statuesque Tamaranean beauty could be intimidating when she didn't mean to be._

"_Do you not love him anymore? Is that what has made this…break?"_

_It was Raven's turn to bite her lip and she sighed, "It's not that. I _do_…" she looked down, feeling ever so slightly defeated, "I love him, quite earnestly I think, and a great amount at that but…the problems we have were in the way of what we both wanted and…" another sigh was generated, "it's just extremely complicated and I'd rather not talk about it." Raven stopped for a moment and looked up at her, "I just wanted to let you know before I went."_

_Now _that _made Kori start, and Raven felt her shock shoot upwards suddenly, "_Went_? You are _going_?"_

"_Just for a while." Raven instantly realised that she had accidentally reminded Kori of her ex-boyfriend, "A day or two. No more." She added hastily. _

_There was a certain expression on Kori's face that told Raven that Kori suddenly just turned really, really angry and she was expecting some sort of outburst in those few moments, but it never came, "Where are you going to?"_

_Raven remained silent, feeling the chill that seemed to envelop the whole room. It had been like that lately—_chilly_—despite the heating that they had installed into every corner of the Tower. It was like winter had been bottled up and stuffed into the study somehow, and it wasn't a comforting feeling at all._

"_When, then, friend, are you going?" Kori's words hardened and yet they seemed…_soft_, "If you will not tell me where you are going then, will you _please _tell me _when _you are going?"_

"_Tonight. Some time tonight. I'll get an hour or two of sleep before I go so if anyone asks you where I am, you can tell them that you don't know and that you never met me tonight."_

_Her friend seemed ever so slightly scandalised at this thought, "_Friend_! You are leaving _tonight_? And you are not even telling the _others_?" She shook her head, as if she didn't know what to do, "And, as you have been saying friend, we are in the _shambles _and you are leaving _tonight_? What can be so important that you are leaving us when we are already…" steam seemed to hiss through her ears, and she seethed with every second that passed, her eyes glowing brighter and brighter, "_broken_?"_

"_There are—"_

"_And you want _me _to do the lying for you? Why will you not just _tell _them? Why will you not just tell _me _the reason why you are going." Kori pursed her lips momentarily, "We are friends, are we not?"_

_Raven felt her emotions soften at those words, "Of _course _we are, Kor, you're the closest thing I'll ever have to a sister." She attempted a smile but then let it falter as she realised that comforting other people wasn't what she felt like doing right now, "And I _know _I keep on telling you—_people_—this but it's all rather complicated, Kor, and rather…private. It's nothing as threatening as me being the portal but…I'd prefer if I dealt with it alone so no one can get hurt."_

_The Tamaranean shook her head to herself slowly and stood up, towering over her with her full height, her fists clenched on her hips stubbornly. The grimace on her face was evident but as Raven's empathic powers grappled with Kori's, she found that a lot of it was hurt and a feeling of loss. It was an emotion that everyone was feeling and Raven felt a bit guilty for having intensified it, even if it was only a little bit._

"_Then you will go." Kori said, and Raven felt devastated at the statement, it felt slightly like she was being banished to the other side of the world, "And I will not tell them."_

"_Thank you." Raven stated awkwardly, not knowing what to say to such a fierce reply._

_Her best friend slowly nodded, her eyes slightly glassy, "You are the most welcome." A hint of a smile emerged on her fleshy lips before transforming into a full-fledged one, "I hope you will not get yourself the hurt. I will miss you."_

_She cracked a smile in return, before being crushed in the comforting—if painful—hug that Kori always delivered, "Thank you, again Kors. I'll miss you and…" she pursed her lips together as her best friend's grip grew tighter, "I'll make everything better again, I promise…"_

_Raven didn't know if Kori had heard her last sentence, but she had meant it. There was only one place that needed visiting to make things right again and despite her determination, she dreaded the thought of going there._

_--_

She was close, she could feel him, though his presence might have just been increased by the progression of a tighter bond; she had been feeling it for days now, occasionally when she wasn't so distracted by events, she could feel him as if he was right in the next room. His presence was overwhelming sometimes though they were sparse and what was worse was that his emotions switched from anger to sadness and occasionally she felt pity. There was also this feeling that she couldn't describe, as if he had picked at a scab against his own will and let the blood flow out and he couldn't stop it. Raven had a niggling feeling of what it was but there was no knowing whether or not she was right until she met him, and she had another feeling that she would be doing that soon.

Raven rubbed at the sleeves of her long, rigid coat, rubbing harder sometimes to try to trap the heat into her body. Her footsteps sounded too loud to her ears as she stepped on several broken twigs on the pavement while walking towards that feeling, the bond that kept tugging her body towards her destination harder and harder. It hurt physically, she realised, to be tugged in such a way and yet it was so…inviting; she wanted to be pulled towards him, wanted the connection to be re-established and that was dangerous. It was dangerous because it made her realise how strong their bond must be now, and how being an individual was getting harder and harder; she was feeling the urge to become one—not in a sexual sense, no—and to become just a single entity instead of two. It would die down soon though, she hadn't been to Nevermore to confirm it, but she was sure—she was hoping—that it was going die down soon because it would mean that her break up was all worth it, that she had felt like her heart had been pulled apart at the worst parts and it had all been for something.

The time zone between Jump City and Gotham wasn't too far apart and so she had arrived in Gotham in the dead of the night. A dangerous feat, she knew, due to the array of petty criminals and treacherous villains but she had told herself that if she didn't leave as soon as she did—only a couple of hours after the break up—she would have never left her room and would probably wallow there for as long as she could.

Raven walked slowly on the pavement, steadying herself, and took long, heavy steps while admiring the sights. What light there was made the scene ever so slightly hypnotic, mesmerising and just…beautiful. It was a city with the segregation between the rich and poor to be so thick and so wide that after just walking a couple of minutes, she could feel the atmosphere change and the physical change. The area was no longer squalid, dark and lacklustre but it was now grand, magnificent and it reeked of arrogance; so thick that Raven squirmed and twisted her nose at the aura. Maybe being in the poor district was better; at least there they had no pretence on what they were nice, at least there the city didn't pretend that it was beautiful, it was kind or caring. She understood now why Dick never liked bringing the Titans to this city, understood why the mere mention of Batman would provoke a grimace on his face.

Raven was heading towards where she thought the wealthiest houses would be—and thus the Wayne Manor—when suddenly something in her chest tugged violently. It twanged a bit but it didn't necessarily hurt, it just felt a bit odd, like something had been plucking at her chest. It was the bond and it had prodded at her as if it knew she was looking for Dick, as if she was looking in the wrong direction, as if she was supposed to go back to the poorer districts to find him. However, common sense told her otherwise, common sense told her that if he went anywhere in Gotham City he would have gone to his old home first, to meet something familiar that he could hold onto for a while longer, and despite how much the bond tugged, she continued to work her way towards the Wayne Manor. And over the years, Raven had learned to trust that common sense that she had, because it was almost, always accurate…but then again…

She shook her head, feeling the freezing wind scratch at the back of her neck. By Azar, couldn't Gotham get some sunnier weather? She couldn't believe that she actually missed summer but she did! It was so cold that the three layers of clothing didn't help and her huge, bulky coat was doing nothing but make her waddle through the streets. Uncomfortable, but admittedly she hadn't really put any thought into this plan of hers.

Suddenly a grand manor appeared before her and as she got closer to it, she read a plaque that confirmed her suspicions that it was the Wayne Manor; the house in which both the infamous Bruce Wayne and the _dashingly handsome_—Raven rolled her eyes momentarily, really now?—Dick Grayson, poster boy for anyone tall—well that was pretty questionable—dark and handsome, and _dreamboat _to all those screaming, annoying Gotham girls, had grown up in. The building was intimidating and yet there was a slight trickle of comfort that made the place seem liveable. Vines climbed every part of the walls and the gates and the security cameras stared at her like an intruder. Beautiful and yet extremely intimidating.

Slowly, she pressed the intercom, before biting at her lip nervously.

"Wayne Manor, how may I help you?"

Raven coughed, "Is that you Alfred?" Raven asked unsurely, "It's…" she lowered her voice, "Raven."

There was loud fuzzing at the end and a long silence but then the intercom suddenly buzzed and the iron gates opened as she scurried inside quickly. The door opened and a kind-looking man stood there in a way that was proud but also…serviceable. A smile suddenly lit up her face; she had missed Alfred—the last time she saw him was when Bruxe Wayne was in Jump City for _vacation_—and his witty sarcastic remarks and yet his caring personality. It was juxtaposition at its best and in form of the nicest person in the world.

"Well, good evening Miss…" he took a mere look at her attire and smiled at her, "Roth. A pleasure to meet you, I must say."

She cracked a smile, standing on the front door, "Vice versa Alfred, It's good to see you."

"Miss Roth it is completely inappropriate for me to let you stay out in the cold when it's toasty warm in here." He took her hand and led her in, taking her coat off and placing it in the coatroom before bustling her into the living room, "What will it be, Miss Roth? I presume tea but sometimes we have crude requests of coffee now and then." He flashed her a smile, understanding completely that she would have ordered tea anyway.

"Tea would be…pleasant…but unnecessary." Raven felt her fingers fiddle with the leader coating of the sofa she was sitting on; very luxurious, like most of what was in this house. Everything seemed to sparkle or shine at one point or another, "I was wondering if…"

"Master Bruce is not in at the moment…he has his responsibilities as you would know."

Raven nodded, "I would know but that isn't what I came here for."

Raven paused for effect and also for herself to take in her surroundings. She had always known that Dick had grown up with the glitz and the glamour but this was ever so slightly…overwhelming. Everything reeked money, hard work and there was—like everything else she had seen in the wealthy areas—a slight feeling of arrogance here and there. There was vintage draped everywhere, soft colours of cashmere and rigid, ebony wood. It was a lot to take in and at a superficial level, Raven was confused on why he would sacrifice all this for the uncontrollable and slightly filthy life of a _normal _teenager.

"I came here to find Dick. He's here right?" She asked slowly, her fingers interlocking with each other, "Or is he out…with Mr. Wayne?"

There was a glimmer of shock—or was it surprise? It was pretty hard to differentiate it nowadays—in Alfred before it was washed away with utter calm and control, "Master Dick? I have not seen him since…maybe two months ago? I—_we_—were under the impression that he was still in Jump City."

That made Raven stop for a moment to decide that maybe the bond had been right, "To be short, Alfred, he's not." She shook her head and pursed her lips momentarily, "The Titans have been functioning without him for…three weeks more or less? I'm not so sure though."

"Well neither Master Bruce nor I have heard from him." Alfred's usually schooled face betrayed his worry, "Presumptions aside, I believe that if he _were _in Gotham, he would be at Miss Gordon's apartment. He has been worried sick over her ever since she…"

She closed her eyes for a second to show her understanding of the situation, "I recall." Raven nodded slowly before standing up from her seat, "Thank you for your kind attention, Alfred, but if he isn't here then I must get going."

"So soon? I was just about to give you some of this delicious Earl Grey tea that I found last night."

Raven nodded in appreciation, "Thank you but really, time is of the essence, or some other dramatic quote I can think of. Will it be trouble for you if you didn't mention our meeting to Mr. Wayne?"

Alfred considered this while grabbing her coat and helping her put it on at the front door, "No, not at all. At some other time I think that I would tell but…there is something troubling you Miss, and I believe that adding to that burden would be quite a selfish act."

"I appreciate it." Raven smiled softly before stepping out of the door, "Once again Alfred, it was really nice meeting you. I hope we meet again soon, under better circumstances."

"I wish it too, Miss Roth. Please call when you find our young master."

"I will." Another nod, "Thank you."

With that she turned away from the manor and walked slowly, trudging through grit and dust as every step took her towards the poorer districts. It had been a nice break to see Alfred for a while but she knew that that would have to wait for another time, a pleasanter time and now she had to go find Dick.

Dick…

Her thoughts settled on him for a while, taking in the words that Alfred had spoken to her. So…he was with Barbara now, though she wasn't sure whether it was literally, figuratively or even both but right now they shared some kind of…connection…that compromised of the love they used to share with each other, the guilt, the sadness, the anger…Raven wasn't sure why she didn't recognise it before but she did now and it was obvious, as obvious as the sky was inherently an innocent shade of blue. Maybe it was a phase but Raven had an inkling that it wasn't, and if they really were together, it would last quite a bit, at least until they realised that they were only with each other because of the accident.

Raven shook her head, berating herself for making such a presumption. The accident may have triggered whatever relationship they were having now but she didn't think that it was what held them together; as guilt-ridden as Dick was, she couldn't see him staying in a relationship because he thought that it was his responsibility to do so.

Suddenly, she realised that she didn't know where she was going and wandering around aimlessly trying to find out where her bond was compelling her to go to would not be too good of an idea in a city like Gotham. There had to be another way for her to get to her destination…there had to be a way for—

It then came to her, she could concentrate on her bond and phase to wherever that place would be. It was a little risky as she had never really done it before—though it could be done theoretically—and she could end up in the middle of nowhere but there was an underlying sense of urgency that told her that she had to find their leader as soon as possible…plus she didn't really have a place to stay and though she didn't mind sleeping outdoors, this was Gotham and _nothing _was left untouched.

Hurriedly, she rushed off to find somewhere she couldn't really be seen, and after finding a abandoned looking alley—risky, she knew, but she had no other choice—she sat down cross-legged and closed her eyes, chanting her words over and over again. After a couple of years, Raven came to realise that her words were never essential in producing her powers and yet they helped her concentrate rather than direct the powers aimlessly. The words soothed over her as she concentrated her thoughts on Dick and on his possible location, merging the bond to become as close as one as she could possibly do, without jeopardising herself. Slowly, ever so slowly, she could feel her surroundings change and that slight cold that came with it send shivers down her spine. It was a slow process, and an exhausting one; producing beads of sweat on her forehead and her chakra to flash wildly. It hurt a bit, but not so much.

Cautiously, Raven opened her eyes to find herself sitting in front of a door, and found herself wondering why she hadn't phased herself inside of it. It would've been completely embarrassing if she found herself in the wrong place or found herself seeing something _unfortunate _but technically speaking it should've automatically led her inside. It came to her after a second; the bond had taken into account her own personality and her preference of privacy and the importance of it, and so she had led herself to the closest place she could get to without invading his privacy. At the very least, Raven _thought_ it worked that way.

As she stood up, she noticed her surroundings a little more and found that the apartment block itself didn't look too shabby; it wasn't the nicest apartment around though it provided the basics, which—she figured quite nicely to herself—was what apartments were originally for anyway. She perked up slightly as she found herself hearing sounds from inside the door—rustles and scrambles—and she waited until the sounds settled down before knocking on the door. There was no need to barge in; her case was urgent but a little politeness never hurt anyone.

There were more sounds, whispers this time, and she stood there idly, waiting for the door to open. Her patience wore off quite soon though and her knuckles immediately headed towards the door to rap at the cool wooden panel but the door opened quite violently to reveal a haggard looking Dick Grayson, a sight she had not seen in ages and for all the trouble that he had brought upon them, she was actually quite pleased to see him; it was like seeing a long lost brother after quite a long, long time.

"Raven."

Raven raised a brow at this single word, "Dick." She pursed her lips for a second, taking in the way he almost _casually _splayed himself on the door frame, "You don't seem too surprised to see me here."

He grimaced at that, his brows furrowing even further, "I knew you were in town the moment you stepped onto the border."

"I see." She looked down for a moment before throwing him a smirk, "Aren't you going to let me in?"

"Well…" Dick paused and looked back at who Raven thought must've been Barbara but she couldn't be too sure, "It's not my place to really decide…"

"It's nice to see you again Raven." A voice suddenly quipped and Raven looked down towards the voice, only to find her own voice stuck in her throat.

Barbara was definitely the person that she was looking at but she was different, both physically and mentally…though she wasn't sure which one shocked her the most. Raven knew that she had been severely injured from the shot and she knew that there was some paralysis going on since the shot was to her spine but…she didn't know that she had to face Barbara in a wheel chair. A couple of crutches Raven could deal with but…a wheel chair?

She sighed.

It just made what she set out to do a lot harder.

"You can stop staring now, Raven." Barbara flashed her a smile, "You're gonna have to get used to it because I'm pretty sure that I'll be in this thing for a long time."

"Oh." Raven caught herself, "Sorry." She paused for a minute or two before continuing, "Is it OK if I come in?"

Barbara looked her straight in the eye and Raven was quite shocked at how fiercely green her eyes were. With her empathic powers automatically reacting to the strong emotions—and tensions—in the hallway, they wrapped themselves around Barbara and automatically jerked; Barbara was still healing and there was a sense of sadness and loss muddled up there somewhere but it was mostly overtaken by either determination or denial; it was like she was trying to heal for the sake of others instead of for herself.

"Sure, knock yourself out. I'll go get you a pot of tea." Barbara answered, her fingers tapping at the wheels, "You like tea, right?"

Raven nodded before letting herself in to the small apartment; it _was _small, only really fit for one person, but they had managed to accommodate two, "Yes, but it's not necessary though I appreciate the gesture."

"Do," the red-haired woman's eyes sharpened at her reply and anger suddenly burst through her empathic powers, "you think that I _can't _make a pot of tea myself? Just because I'm in this _damned _wheelchair?" She was seething in a way that wouldn't seem probable for someone without a disability.

"No, of course I think that you're perfectly capable of making your own tea." As if on instinct, Raven kneeled down to make sure that she was at Barbara's level and frowned, "Though I am truly, _truly _sorryfor your loss and for the pain that you must've felt and regretful that I wasn't there to ease your wounds, that isn't what I'm here for." She stood up once again and eyed Dick, "Dick and I need to talk." There was a sense that he was avoiding her and that small reaction caused her to look straight into his eyes and glare at him, her fists balling up at her sides, "We need to talk."

At that, she could feel every part of him prickling, bursting into impatient flames that licked away at any feelings of regret and guilt. He stared her down like she was a villain of some sort—like she was _Slade _reincarnated or something—and suddenly that anger turned into her own, and it blurred the barriers so she wasn't sure who's anger it belonged to anymore. It didn't matter anyway, here, this close to Dick Grayson, she was one with him, every thought and emotion was hers now too; it was inevitable with the close proximity and all.

"Sit." He suddenly gestured a pale finger at a really shabby looking couch, "I'll be with you in a minute. I just need to talk to Babs for a second."

Raven sat straight away and vaguely saw them walk into what she thought must've been the kitchen or something and rather, she felt Dick's worry and concerns rather than saw or heard whatever dialogue they were having. It wasn't heated—she clutched at her chest automatically—but there were pangs of nervousness and slivers of affection and over protectiveness and…reluctance, there was a lot of reluctance. Raven could barely hear what they were saying but Barbara sounded like she was trying to reassure him of something, accompanied by squeaking wheels and heavy sighs. A shake of the head was felt and for a second she forgot that it wasn't her own head that had been shaking, and instinctively she gripped at the couch's fabric for comfort; it was so difficult to resist the unification of identities when she was so _close _to him.

Suddenly she felt his footsteps come closer and she looked up from her strange reverie; Barbara was not with him and he was holding a steaming cup of hot tea—normal sachet tea by the smell of it—before pushing it into her hands almost roughly, barely missing burning her fingers with the hot liquid. He sat down just as roughly too, with his rumpled hair and his tight knuckles, and there were lines on his face that she didn't remember seeing when he was back in the Titans, even with Slade around those lines weren't as apparent as they were now. Raven immediately touched her face and shook her head to herself; for a moment there she had felt like there were lines on her face too, lines like his that were lines but not, essentially, lines.

By Azar, she was getting as paranoid as, _well_, Dick Grayson.

"So."

Raven nodded in return, "So." Her voice equally as monotonous.

"We haven't met in a while."

"And whose fault is that?" Raven asked, her voice was almost scathing but not quite, her brows raised sceptically, "We waited for you to call but you haven't."

"I've been busy. You probably already know that."

Another nod, she _did_ know that, but it still wasn't an excuse to practically abandon the team and just let it crumble into…

"Still, an e-mail would've been nice." Raven scratched her wrists, annoyed at the niceties that they had to undertake, "Snail mail would be inconvenient…but reassuring." She shook her head, letting violet strands kiss her face, "Anything, _by Azar_, would've been better than not contacting us at all."

There were a few moments of silences between them but Raven could feel the undercurrents of everything that was happening to him, and she knew that he could feel every emotion, every feeling, of hers as if it was his own. It was as if there was nothing in the room—there was _no _room—except them two and even then it felt strange, like she was merging and separating into him consecutively. There was even a moment when her lips formed an 'O' in understanding and he mirrored her, though she was sure that that was just a coincidence.

She finally broke the silence, "So how is Barbara?"

He bit his lip before answering, "She's…coping but she's moody. One time she's fine and other times she all…depressed or has nightmares and in those times all I can do is _be _there to comfort her." Dick inhaled quietly, "How is…she?"

It was Raven's turn to pause and to actually think on what to say. There was no question to who he was referring to but at the same time, she didn't know if he _deserved _to know what was happening in her life after what he did to her. Breaking someone's heart may seem petty to some people—and that included her before _today_—but it wasn't and it was the least petty thing in the world and it impacted everyone, not only the person who had their hearts broken.

"Fine. Her modelling career's sky-rocketed." Raven wasn't sure if she said that to spite him or not but it felt right, "She's not happy but she's content and she's…well, if you really wanted to know how she is then you'd call her but since…" she shook her head, "Kori's dating again. Or, she _is _going on a date this week and _I'm _hoping that the date will go well." With that she looked him straight in the eye.

There was a flicker in his eye that she could only interpret after experiencing a heart-lunge in her own chest but apart from that he didn't say anything about it, "I hope so too. Raven, I'm sorry for what I did but I can't change it, OK? What's done is done and the past is supposed to stay in the past."

"Well, that's irony there for someone who's motivated to _work _due to the _past_." She licked her dry lips, feeling the cracks and peels in them, "Ironic and hypocritical."

He grunted, "You can't blame me for everything, Raven, things were falling apart even _before _I left. I had to come here Raven…I mean…Babs…" Almost instinctively, he raised a hand to brush through his jet-black hair, "I couldn't leave Babs like that—like this—because…God, Raven, do you know what it feels like to have flown and then for some maniac to have shot you down? She already _quit _being Bat Girl before she got shot but that doesn't mean she wasn't going to take it up again…" he shook his head, "_She needs me_."

"She needs you…like _we _need you?" She pursed her lips, "Yes, I understand that her disability may have emotionally deterred her but…Dick…you have responsibilities. I should've _known _that you didn't tell Bruce _or _Alfred about you being here in Gotham. They'd have kicked you straight back into Jump City, kicking and screaming and whatnot."

"Well what would you have done, Raven?" He gritted his teeth, seething, "What would you have done? I've known Babs since I was a kid and she was there for me every step of the way…we were always there for each other no matter what. If…if your mum broke her spine would you have stayed? _Would you_!?"

"No. I wouldn't have. But I wouldn't have gone off under the pretence of another issue."

"It was necessary…They wouldn't have understood."

Raven arched a brow, "Necessary why? Do you think _none _of us have lost someone before? By _Azar_, Dick, I knew you were an idiot but this was really taking the cake. We would have understood…_Azar_…we would have let you go if you told us…but you _didn't _and that's the _point_."

She felt him breathe a heavy sigh, "Well I can't take anything back, and I don't really want to." He sat up straighter this time, "Babs is what's the most important to me now and I can't change that. I can't change the way I feel about the whole situation, Raven. It's just all so…complicated." There was a finality to that word that she couldn't describe, as if he wanted her to stop the conversation right there and then, but she knew that he knew that she wasn't stopping anytime soon.

"And you can't change the way you feel about her." Raven didn't know which _her _she was talking about, but she was sure that he would interpret it in his own way, "You love her. I _know_, I can feel it."

"Yea…I guess I do. Maybe…maybe it's the wrong kind of love, Raven, or maybe it's just developed in the wrong time. But I do love her, I really do." His hard brows softened slowly, making way for the old Dick Grayson that she knew and loved, "I know that that wasn't the reason that I left, that maybe I was just using the break up as an excuse to come back here to…" he paused, looking her in the eye with his ice blue ones, "_her_. To _home_…I don't know…just to come back." They hardened again, the lines digging into his skin desperately, "I've just had a complete paradigm shift on life Raven, give me a bit of a break."

She placed her tea down on the coffee table for a second without a drop drunk and reached out to pat his shoulder awkwardly, "I know Dick, OK? I know. I didn't come here to berate you and beast you until you bled to death." He gave her a wry grin at that moment and she shrugged in reply, "OK, maybe I did…at first…_but_," her chest twanged for a second there, "I just wanted you to know that _we _need you, almost as badly as Barbara does, and Jump City needs you…and we've been an emotional shamble since you've left. More so than before." Raven bit her lower lip, pressing it harder and harder by the second, "And I promised that I'd make it all better, that everything will go back to normal. I _promised_."

He grunted and pulled away from her and at that moment she felt angry and sad and reminiscent all mushed up inside of her. She was almost sure that it wasn't her emotion, that it was Dick's feelings, but at the same time, it felt so strong that maybe it _was _hers; maybe she was feeling a little angry, a little sad and a little reminiscent.

She wasn't sure.

He shook his head, a lump of regret was felt in her stomach, "You know that it's not gonna go back to normal…nothing is. We're…growing up…life isn't some little cubby hole that we can stay in, even if that cubby hole was a T-shaped building in the middle of an island with all of the state of the arts weaponry."

"Right." She scoffed, "Growing up. Right." She shook her head too, frowning sullenly, "Growing up is inevitable no matter what Peter Pan said but _not like this_. What happened to growing up together? As a _family_? I know that Gotham was your home and will _always _be your home but…home, as sentimentally soppy as this is, is where the heart is and I thought, for a moment, that your heart was with us."

"You_ are_ family, Raven, all of you are…I just feel that my priorities are somewhere else right now."

Raven couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes at him, despite how insensitive she knew it was, "Then let me push it, let me be _mean _and _brutal _and _precise_ and _concise_." He groaned at her words, as if knowing what she was going to say…actually, he probably _did _know what she was going to say, "You have to take into account your _professional ethics_, Dick. Professional ethics compels you to stay to your job no matter what, and private lives do not count…not when you're us…not when you're responsible for a whole city. You signed a _contract _with the governing powers of Jump City and have been _assigned _by our superiors—namely those unbearable Justice League members—to take care of Jump City and _you_, Dick, _cannot _run away from your _responsibilities. _It's just unethical, professionally."

He growled at her, "You just _had _to push that button, didn't you Raven? Raven I can't…I can't think about it anymore, not now…later…just…now now." He stood up suddenly, almost knocking over his chair, "I've got to tend to Babs."

"You know you can't avoid this forever, right? One of these days you'll have to relent and come back because you know that it's the _right thing to do_ no matter how strong your feelings of attachment are to this place…or to her." She sighed heavily, finally picking up the teacup again to take a sip out of it; it was cold now, and too bitter, far too bitter, "I'm not saying abandon everything here all together…just…don't abandon _us_."

At those words, they were both still, just staring—or was it glaring?—at each other, swimming through each other's emotions and trying to figure out which one belonged to which person. Her head spun slightly as she felt him shift, and she saw him twitch a little as a surge of annoyance came through her. Raven crossed her arms in front of her as he kept looking at her, as if inquiring what was happening, but he never really voiced the question; he just stood there, standing, like he needed to say something, wanted to say something but…couldn't. There was something different, she realised, about the way he moved too…it was more stoic and less fluid, the grace of an acrobat lessened every time she looked at him, and the flat expression had been replaced by a mirage of emotions, like abstract paintings on a canvas. Maybe he was right, they were all growing, and he had found a way to grow up separately, detached, and without the Titans.

Suddenly everything came back to her; she remembered that she was in Barbara's apartment, with real live furniture and shabby wallpapers. Raven realised that she was somewhere physically and she had not been in a mental battle with Dick Grayson exclusively, she had also been somewhere where she could touch, smell, see and hear things. She smoothed her hand over the leather covering over the sofa and smiled to herself; nothing had changed really, despite her efforts.

"I'm not going back to Jump until you agree, you know?"

He gave her a wry smile, almost forceful, and yet there was some sincerity in it, "Then you'll be here for a long time. I'm not going any time soon."

"Sooner than you think, I hope, for both our sakes."

"For our sakes…" he mumbled to himself and his frown deepened, "Raven, where are you gonna be staying while in Gotham?"

She paused at this question; she hadn't really thought about it actually. Raven had figured that she'd be all nostalgic and go find some secluded corner in the city where she could stay in for the night like she used to before the Teen Titans but she was sure that wouldn't go so well with Dick.

"You're not staying out there in the streets Raven." He answered before she could get a word out, "You're staying here tonight, you can crash on the couch, I'm sure that Babs wouldn't mind…given the circumstances."

Raven had the sense not to argue with him, "OK. But I won't be going tomorrow if you don't come back with me." She pushed on.

"Raven…I…" he sighed once again before finally shaking his head, mumbling words to himself, "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow…just get yourself comfortable or something."

Raven nodded slowly, "Thanks."

"By the way…" Dick looked uncertain of himself, which was pretty rare, "did something happen today? I felt…sad and angry and shit. Raven did you—?"

She shook her head, "Later…not now…one thing at a time." She sighed, mirroring his, "_One thing at a time_."

He nodded in reply and scurried off to wherever her was going to, probably wither to Barbara to inform her that Raven was sleeping over, or to wherever the pillows and blankets were kept…she didn't know. There were times when she felt like she was doing the right thing, where she was sure—as sure as she was of the afterlife—that there was no other action that would be the most advantageous…the most…righteous but…right now…she felt like she was intruding into someone else's life…someone who she didn't know of so well, despite having known Dick for almost a decade. There was a sense that he was different, despite the fact that he was a part of her, and she felt the bond suddenly change and squirm in her insides. The bond tugged uncomfortably and she forced herself to sit still in her seat, to drink the tea that was in her hands.

Raven promised Kori that she would make everything better but…she wasn't so sure of it anymore.

**A/N: So anyway, as I said, one of my weaker chappies...but I swear we'll have some sort of progression! But I can't guarantee that it will solve all the myriad of problems.**

**:evil cackle:**

**Anyway a few things that I wanted to say...**

**- Dick is a bit OOC, I'm sowwi for all the Robin fans out there...I just haven't written him in a million years and so it was a bit of an effort to actualy write him again.**

**- Also, I KNOW that I said that Raven wouldn't tell Kori just yet, but I felt that if Raven really DID go, she would at least tell Kori a lil bit, since they're best buddies and all.**

**- Raven will be in Gotham for a while methinks, what do you think of that?**

**- Also, what do you think of Raven leaving to go get Robin back, a good decision or a bad decision? What do you think Beast Boy will think of her leaving?**

**- Most importantly; do you think it's OK for Robin to be with Barbara?**

**Ah, beloved readers, I love you all so very, very much...hope I'll see you soon yea?**

**Don't forget to review!**


	16. Old sofas and corridors

**A/N: So, so so tired. Exams coming soon. Hope I don't disappoint with this chappie!**

**Read and review please!**

**Chapter 16**

Raven felt a pair of eyes on her before she let her own eyelids flutter open and it took even longer for her to remember where she was. The couch was uncomfortable at best, with springs poking out of badly patched up unidentifiable fabric and the blanket covering her scratched at her skin unpleasantly, but she also realised that despite all that, she had a good night's sleep. It was lonely though, and cold, not like the usual sleep that she got back in the Tower, back in the warm embrace of…

She shook her head mentally, erasing those memories. There was another time for that and now was…too soon.

"I made you tea." A voice piped up, strong and feminine at the same time.

Finally, Raven opened her eyes, her eyelids hitting her crease so quickly that it hurt. The light was too bright—fluorescent, hardly comfortable for an apartment…though they had them in the Tower too, though that was different; it was for interrogation purposes only though…and to make sure no intruder was left unseen—and the air was a mish-mash of cold and stink. She rolled over on her side to see who had addressed her and wasn't all that surprised that it was_ her_.

"Thank you." Raven said slowly, sitting up to face her, "Tea is always a good wake-up call after a long night."

They sat in silence after that, neither of them not knowing what to say. It wasn't either of their faults, really, that it felt so awkward; neither of them knew each other so well—Raven had only met her a couple of times, and in those times she had met her as Batgirl—and secondly, the issue of Dick was just floating in the air, sneering at both of them. It was like they both knew why she had come here for and they were both conflicted in their own choices.

"You're looking well. " Barbara piped suddenly, flicking a bright red strand out from her face, taking a sip out of her own cup, though Raven suspected it was something more akin to hot chocolate rather than tea.

She nodded slowly, "You too…in a sense." She added hastily.

"_Hah_." Barbara barked out a laugh, her brows furrowing by the second, "Well for a girl who's in a wheelchair, you mean, and for the rest of her life, might I add." As soon as the sentence died down, the toughness that Raven knew was essentially Barbara's surfaced slowly, "The rooftop run's become a thing of a past. Dick's a bit upset about that." And the pride, Barbara wasn't going to show anyone she was weak.

Raven sighed as Barbara turned her disability into a joke. There was ripe sadness, juicy depression, in the pits of her aura, and it reeked, the fluid seeping out of the cracks slowly, but surely. The fortress that she had made for herself was hard, but brittle, like pastry when it was cooked properly, but it didn't taste as nice, just grittier.

"_A bit_ is an understatement. I should understand that." Subconsciously, she tapped at her chest with two fingers, "The pain you feel is not a joke and neither is the pain he feels, and you should not treat it as such. It is quite disrespectful, both to the others who love you and most importantly, to yourself."

Barbara bit her lip at that, uncertainty looking odd on such a strong willed woman, and her green eyes turned soft, but with what emotion, Raven wasn't sure. The redhead fingered her wheels slowly smoothing away at the rubber and caressing the shape with idleness.

"It's not a joke, I know." Her words were soft, almost to the extent of a whimper, but not quite, "I should know." She sighed, her fists tightening, "I just feel so fucking useless in this getup. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" The grimace deepened on her pretty face, "It was all gonna be perfect…I was gonna end it at twenty-five—prime age to start over, you know?—had already ended it! But I didn't want it like this…"

Another bout of silence, but this time it was less awkward. The dam had been broken and though it was fixable, neither moved to fix it.

"I told Dick to go back, you know." Barbara confessed quietly, pushing away her stubbornness for a moment, "When he first came, he couldn't look at me for ages, I blubbed like a baby coz I thought that he'd never look me in the eye ever again—pathetic, I know—but now he won't leave. He insists on doing everything for me; carry me off the bed, make my breakfast, do my laundry. Everything!"

"We both know that it would have ended this way; Dick is Dick and where he thinks his priorities will lie, then he will stay." Raven placed her empty cup on the coffee table, "He feels committed to you, to himself, and to his feelings." She paused for a moment before continuing, "He has strong feelings for you."

Barbara shook her head, "I wouldn't say that. I may have taken advantage of his…_attention_…but I doubt his feelings for me are real. Not as real as mine, at least. Or as real as I think mine are. He feels too committed and if his feelings have been tricked into being feelings then I don't regret it." She stated slowly, as if knowing exactly what Raven was thinking, "I know his duties are in Jump, Raven, and I have told him—trust me!—but he doesn't listen, he never listens. _Never_, not since he was a boy." Raven watched as Barbara's lips fell into a droopy smile; full of memories and reveries, "Stupid, wilful boy."

"They're real. Just how real, I'm not so sure, so rest assured Barbara, I doubt you could have manipulated anything. Maybe you have resurfaced some feelings, but manipulation is a whole different matter."

"I'm…I guess I'm glad to hear that."

Raven pushed the topic away for a moment, as not to crowd Barbara. The woman had already gone through a whole lot of drama, and even more would hurt rather than help her. She slipped off the couch fluidly and knelt next to the wheelchair, her hand hovering over Barbara's lower torso and legs. There was nothing there—she thought as her eyes remained closed—especially in her legs and feet; it was all darkness and black, like it was in a coma, except more permanent. She smiled slightly to herself as she felt echoes of feelings and sensations from her hip up to mid-torso; Barbara would still _feel _in those areas but they would feel like forgotten memories that scratched only at the surface, like echoes.

"I can still kinda feel around there. It's like I've forgotten the feeling and I'll only feel a bit." Barbara's thin lips broke into a smile, "The nerves there haven't been completely disabled, the doctors were able to save some…though they were frazzled like hell since he shot at my spine. My reflexes are somewhat slower too; I'm not as quick as I used to be." She added, almost as an afterthought.

Raven nodded, "It must've been painful."

"No…not really." She shook her head in reply, almost sounding disappointed, "It was mostly shock, but I felt next to nothing. All I really remember was the bang and the blood. I remember there was a lot of blood, but the pain was…it only hurt for a second or two before I lost all feeling."

"You were lucky then."

"Would've been luckier if I didn't get shot, but I didn't get that much choice in that matter." Barbara paused for a moment before continuing, "I got treated in Gotham's hospital but I doubt even S.T.A.R Labs could have done any better."

Raven nodded once more, understanding the situation a bit better now, "No, I don't think they would have done any better." She bit at her lower lip so hard that she almost drew blood, "_I _don't think I could have done a better job. Not without paralysing myself, no." She muttered to herself, shaking her head slowly as she pressed her empathic threads deeper into Barbara.

A laugh erupted from her and Raven looked up in surprised, "Well, sensitivity isn't your strong point is it?" She seemed to have actually found that funny.

"No, not when I deem it unnecessary it isn't. Euphemising it wouldn't have made it better, and so there was no need." Raven felt her empathic powers feeling those frazzled nerve ending and touched upon one of them, before looking up, "Can you feel that?"

"No." Barbara said shortly, her voice suddenly gruff, "The reflex arc broke once he shattered my spine. In my legs and my feet, at least."

Raven frowned, "I'll try to do what I can but I can't guarantee anything—"

"Did he love her?"Barbara cut in suddenly, stopping Raven in her tracks.

Raven changed her seating position so she was cross-legged, looking up at Barbara, and her hand snatched themselves away from Barbara's body. The question unnerved her because she knew the answer, and so did Barbara except…except there was a quiet desperation in her tone that made Raven reluctant to answer, even if she did know it.

"Yes." She said finally, "He loved her." A sigh found its way in her throat but she didn't dare release it, "They were head over heels for each other. We were kids when we first met each other, but we just…" she couldn't stop herself, the words just came gushing out, "we just knew that it was going to be something…_epic_." Her breath caught up with her at that final word and she felt a rush go through her; Dick—wherever he was right now—had overheard her and was feeling…uncomfortable.

So was Barbara. Raven noticed the way that she looked away from her, and the way her fingers idly entangled within themselves. It was only natural; Barbara and Dick were involved—possibly even sexually, though she didn't really want to dwell on that—romantically and it had only been three weeks since Dick had officially broken it off with Kori. Understandably, Barbara didn't want to be seen as the rebound girl to others, especially in the eyes of Dick's closest friends and families.

"Sorry."

Barbara nodded, "It's OK, getting flack is the least of my concerns." She tapped at her wheels, "Not that I didn't expect it, you know? I just…maybe it's too soon for me to say this, but I'm _in love_ with him, and at the very least, if he isn't now then I know that he was once in love with me when we were younger." She snorted, and Raven noted that similarly to Kori, she still looked attractive doing it, "The wrong bloody place at the wrong bloody time, you know?"

"I know. Maybe not fully, but partially, I understand." Raven pursed her lips, her eyes darting around her as she felt Dick's presence become hers, "It's too late anyway, for Kori and Dick to repair things, even if they both wanted to." He was close, it felt like she _was _him, but for all she knew he could still be in the other room, "I don't think either of them wants to. Not anymore, anyway."

Raven stopped as she knew that she really heard Dick's footsteps this time. He was behind them, and she didn't need to crane her neck to feel his brooding stare, lighter than Batman's and spiked with a hidden sense optimism. His footsteps were never really heavy, he always seemed to walk on the balls of his feet, but the morning air dragged them and so they sounded heavier than usual.

"Morning Raven." He smiled, but it soon slipped into a frown.

Raven nodded, acknowledging his presence, though she didn't need to, "Morning."

He nodded in reply before walking towards Barbara and kissing her briefly on the cheek. Raven felt the warmth of that, and was relieved to find that it was sincere. His hands reached out to massage his girlfriend's shoulders and she sighed as his fingers worked out the knots. Raven didn't really know what to make of this, and so she kept quiet.

"Babs, how many times do I have to tell you to wait for me to wake up?"

Barbara rolled her eyes at this, "Dick, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to carry me into my wheelchair. I can manage on my own." She grumbled, her tone sincerely irritated at his overt protectiveness.

"I just don't want you to get hurt Babs."

"I'm not gonna get hurt." She snapped, "I just needed to talk to Raven."

"The talk could've waited."

It was Raven's turn to interrupt the conversation, and she did so without hesitation, "No, I don't think it could have." Her words were sloth-like; heavy with emphasis, "It was the right time and the right place for such a conversation, and you and I both know it." She looked him straight in the eye, finally finding some sort of segregation from him as his blue eyes conveyed a different set of emotions from her.

He looked back at her and for a moment, she thought that he was going to retort back at her, but it never came to be. His fingers seemed tense on Barbara's shoulder and he gripped at them almost as if Barbara was going to be the one to hold him back. Dick was wrong though, even Barbara knew of her former duties and she knew that his obligation did not lie with her, but with Raven and the rest of the Titans. Still, the way that he glared at her made her feel sorry for him; honour had always been at the core of Nightwing, honour and loyalty and pride, and right now all three were conflicting with each other, and Dick Grayson really looked like he didn't have a clue on what to do. There was no sense of what _he _was feeling, but she felt like she was being pulled apart in different directions, once again, the relief had subsided and the barrier between them had broken.

"Why don't we go out for lunch together? All three of us?" Barbara suddenly interjected, breaking the tension.

For a second, Raven and Dick seemed to be of one thought and she knew it from the way that they both caught each other's eyes, "No." Dick's voice was stagnant, rough, but strangely comforting to hear, "No, I don't think that'll be such a good idea."

"I don't either," Raven shook her head and laid her hands on her palm, "I'm not planning to stay here for recreation," she wanted to add _as you both know_, but knew that Dick would just start up something if she did, "and I don't want to encourage that atmosphere. We all know why I'm here."

"C'mon guys. It's a nice day out and both of you look like you need some cheering up to do." _How ironic, _Raven was thinking as Barbara's voice filled the air, "Gotham isn't the nicest place in the world at night but in the daytime it sure beats staying in all the time. Which Dick has been doing ever since he got here."

"I'm sorry, Barbara, but not until the problem has been resolved. It's the reason I came here after all…"

Suddenly, she felt her chest seemingly lunge downwards and if she had not seen Dick's worried face looking at her so inquisitively, she would've assumed that it was her own nervousness provoking those physical feelings.

"Raven, is there something you want to talk about because…I don't know…last night just seemed…_heavy_, and it makes me think that there are other reasons why you came here." His words were soft, sincere, and she wanted to tell him what she thought he already knew, but her heart stopped her.

Another shake of the head, "No. Not now, later if we have time but…Dick you _know _that you have to come back and you _know_—"

"I _don't _know anything and I _don't _know if I should come back. _You _know it and still—!"

"Raven, Dick, stop it." Barbara interjected forcefully, "Can't we just go out for a nice lunch and just figure out a _compromise_? I know you two have your problems to sort out but—!"

"We can't figure out a compromise Babs, what she's asking for, it's all or nothing." He groaned as his girlfriend frowned at him, "I can't go back, not now, Babs. Not now. Not now Babs, not until I make sure that everything's going to be OK."

"But everything's _not _OK, Dick, _I'm _not OK and you have to accept that. You can't just stay here forever and ever trying to be my guardian." Barbara placed a hand on him and Raven nodded in tune to her voice, "You and me are gonna have a talk, mister, but we're doing that after lunch." Barbara decided conveniently on her own.

Dick seemed like he was going to say something but his head fell and he looked defeated at the prospect of the future discussion with his girlfriend. There was a softness in the way he looked at Barbara, different to the soft looks that he delivered to Kori, and Raven felt oddly comforted by that. She didn't know why it was that way or if it meant something significant, but there was just something that told her, in that very look, that there was a possibility for things to go back to normal.

No, it wasn't that the look told her that he was wracked with guilt about the whole situation—though Raven knew that he was—but that it told her that even though he loved Barbara, it was a different kind of love that he transmitted to Barbara. When Kori and Dick were together, their love was strong and passionate and impossibly concrete but here with Barbara, his love was soft and gentle and careful; like his feelings were a bed of white feathers. It meant that, at the very least, some of his relationship with Barbara wasn't one that was in a rebound form.

"Fine." Dick grumbled, his voice stoic, "I'll do lunch. But I have a few things to sort out first. I'm going to go take a shower first, OK? I'll see you in a sec." He kissed Barbara once more, this time in the form of a peck on the lips.

He didn't move however—though he was standing on the balls of his feet strangely—and he just stood there awkwardly, as if he was expecting something to happen; like his future was decided upon what was to happen now.

"Raven?" Barbara turned to her, smiling, though there were lines on her forehead, "Will you join us?"

"No."

Raven didn't hesitate this time, and it seemed that Dick knew that she wouldn't by the way his brows furrowed a fraction deeper into her skin. Her fingers traced her own brows, paranoid that she was frowning too, and with such emotion. That much emotion couldn't be healthy for anyone, especially Dick who seemed to find satisfaction in being either really selfish or not selfish at all.

"No?" Barbara grimaced, her fingers twisting a random red curl, "Why not? I thought we had it all sorted out and—"

Raven felt her face soften at Barbara's tone of voice, "No…it's just that…I need some time alone…some time to think." She frowned too as she felt Dick's emotions flutter with relief, "I've just realised how much has been happening and it's just been a bit…much." Her mouth felt dry but she ignored the sensation, "Sorry."

Barbara nodded and exchanged looks with Dick—that seemed to say _I told you so_ in the most frustrating way ever—before making sure that Raven was comfortable in the apartment and wheeling away to her own room. There was a sort of eerie silence when the pair left, which was strange, because Gotham was a bustling city, even in the early mornings, and the absence of sound didn't help comfort Raven at all in the situation that she had found herself in. Her mind was a city in itself, with thoughts going in and out of her head like there was nowhere else to go and she had half a mind to meditate, but she was too scared to be out of this world, too scared to be too immersed in it. Detachment and attachment were part of her situations, part of her problems, and there was no way in hell that she would try to get herself into those, she had to stay in the present in order for her to mull over her problems and find some solutions.

Sigh.

Slowly, Raven curled up on the couch once more, wrapping the scratchy blanket over her small body. Her limbs felt heavy and so did her eyelids, both mentally and physically, and as hard as she tried not to…she felt her body shut down for a moment and her eyes to close due to the sheer weight of it.

Sleep. She needed more sleep.

---

At that very moment, he just _knew_.

Scrambling around the house in just his boxers was never attractive—everyone complained; was it his fault that he was _hairy_? Or_ green_? The combination was never flattering but…_never mind_!—but there was something that told him that if he didn't get up now and look around now then he would be too late. Another voice told him he already was, but he didn't really want to listen to that one; not now…not now…

It was too early in the morning for his senses to really kick in, but the cold air was hard to ignore, though the thin shrivel of warmth interlacing throughout its cooler counterpart was a bit comforting to Garfield's naked chest but it did nothing to soothe his heart.

_Thud…thud…thud…_

The thumping pressed against his skull, and the rhythm annoyed him in more ways than one. It was hard to concentrate with the dizzying effects of the morning and the general loud noise inside his chest, but maybe if he moved fast enough he wouldn't be to late…he wouldn't be—

Suddenly, he stopped.

_Thud…thud…thud…_

As every part of his body came to a halt, his awareness of his breathing increased and he realised how heavy it was. His chest rose and fell dramatically and he also realised that he was never _this _aware of his body and how it works. It was eerie, like looking down at someone else.

_Thud…thud…thud…_

She had told him that she would do it, but he didn't think that she was being serious, and that just showed how _stupid _Garfield Logan could be; Raven was _always _serious. He stepped backwards slowly, feeling the wall behind him, before he slumped into a pathetic looking sitting position; of course she was serious and of course he had been an idiot enough to believe that she wasn't…no wonder she hadn't looked so amused when he protested at her idea.

As he sat there, not really doing anything in particular, he was struck by the scent of the air inside the Tower; it was empty. _Oh_, there was still the scent of the morning, the scent of yesterday's coffee and the old scents that liked to linger on the walls, but apart from that, he couldn't smell anything else; he couldn't smell _Raven_. He couldn't smell that scent that he was so familiar with; it had been so ingrained in him that he didn't notice its presence until it was loss…it was almost like a bad boy band song except…well…except it was more real.

"Dumbass." He muttered to himself.

He knew that they weren't together anymore and _he _was to blame for all of it…but it didn't mean that it was supposed to be easy, especially since they hadn't been broken up for more than a day, less than that if he counted right. Last night had been lonely and cold and he couldn't sleep for more than three hours in a row and…

Garfield rubbed his hands over his face; he was babbling erratically.

…he was an idiot to think that he could forget loving her after a day of being apart, he was an idiot to think that she'd stay and try to work out this _friends _business so that it wouldn't be so awkward. But she was smarter—_naturally_—and so she knew how it would all go down, and though he had a feeling that her leaving was an impulse action, he figured that even if it wasn't, she would've gone anyway; to where, he didn't know but he figured she wanted to getaway to clear her head…so maybe she went back to Azarath for a while to get some comfort from her mother but…he didn't think so…Raven was never really close with her mother and now wasn't really a time to start.

Maybe she went away to find Jericho; those two had always been close after their introduction, and he had admittedly found jealousy eating away at his heart whenever they were together, but the mute had a big thing for Kole and it was mutual—though they weren't together—so Garfield felt a bit calmer at that. Jericho and Raven's relationship was a strange one and if Garfield didn't know any better, they were friends with each other because they understood the other better than anyone else did, and without the need for words' why would they need it? One was an empath and the other was a sensitive mute with a face that spoke a whole lot more than would come across if it was said orally. If Garfield was right then he hoped that Jericho was taking care of her.

Sigh.

Still, even with the comfort of knowing that she _might _be at Jericho's, he still bit his lower lip about it. He was worried that she had done something stupid—_rich_, he knew, coming from Garfield Logan—but sometimes Raven didn't think when she got emotional. And she _was _emotional; both of them were at the moment. Though it was really melodramatic, he didn't know if he could stomach the thought of being single again; chasing down random pretty girls with no substance—particularly blondes, he came to realise—clubbing pointlessly, fighting day to day and just hanging out…without Raven.

But he wasn't going to do that, was he? Did he have a plan already? He shook his head to himself, berating himself once more for not having a plan, though he had a vague idea of what he was going to do. He needed to sort himself out; he needed to ask Vic to help him apply to S.T.A.R Labs for trial medication, he needed to pass his undergraduate degree, needed to find some sort of semblance of a job—acting, maybe?—so that he could find a cushy life after the Titans, he needed to be there for Kori if she lost occasionally at the dating game, needed to hang out with Vic when being metallic became more of a burden, he had to fight crime like it was the only thing he was good at, and he had to balance this all out while living the life to its fullest; because he knew that Sakutia—even with the state of dormancy it is in—was never good. Too many died from it, too little came out with anything short of a miracle.

He wanted that miracle.

Suddenly, he heard a door slide open, and found Kori stepping out of it in her pink pyjamas and he realised that he had stopped in front of her room with all the confusion and haste. He didn't do it on purpose and if he did then it was subconscious. Maybe she knew where Raven had gone to, or at least maybe Raven had bid her farewell…he needed some sort of reassurance that she was OK and was not going on some mad rampage because of his decision.

"Kori."

"Friend Gar?"

He paused, realising that they were both unsure of each other, "Um…mornin'?"

"Morning, friend. Might I ask you why you are sitting in front of my door clad in only the boxer shorts?"

"I…I don't know…I didn't realise that it was your room." He stated truthfully, not moving from his position, "I just needed time to think."

She nodded as if she understood, but Gar was unsure about that, "Action is not always the solution, then. Was there another reason you were in this location?"

As the words came out of her mouth, Gar paused. If she really did know where Raven went, would she tell him? Probably not, but it was worth a try anyway.

"Where's Raven, Kor?"

He heard the hesitation in her voice before she spoke; it was a mere second but it was long enough for him to catch it, "Raven would be in her room, would she not, friend Garfield? I have not seen her since last night."

Garfield noticed that her new car smell was still intact, but it was smothered with a sheen of nervous smelling sweat, and her heart was fluttering like a fragile butterfly's wings. When it came to her emotions, Koriand'r was never one to shy away from it, and so concealing her emotions wasn't something she was used to doing. Of course, the smell of sweat could've just been because she had just woken up, but his animal senses told him otherwise; she was keeping something away from him and she was nervous about it.

"C'mon now Kor, don't bullshit with me. I know Raven's gone."

Kori sighed and moved from her position so she was sitting across him. If anyone were to cross them, they would find two decidedly odd adults—well, _almost_, in his case—just looking at each other with analytical eyes, waiting for the other to break down and vomit words that would make or break the situation. Her golden skin seemed a little tired and her fingers twirled a red ringlet around it absently, as if it was so used to the action that it seemed natural, but her eyes were in conflict with each other, figuring out what she had to do or say to compromise with both Raven's request and Garfield's.

Chartreuse green met emerald green.

Their breaths intermingled in the air between them; static…waiting.

Kori finally relented, "I must confess, I do not know where she is." He growled automatically; he didn't mean to but his frustration got to the better of him, "_However_, she did bid me farewell before her leaving. It seems that she has some unfinished business to do and will be gone for a while."

"Are you sure you don't know any more than that?"

"I assure you, friend Garfield, she did not inform me of anything besides that she was leaving. I will not betray you with the finger crossing." Suddenly her scent changed to suspicion, an emotion that has never been directed towards Garfield before, "Sister Raven told me that you two have done the breaking up due to some complications. I must admit, I have a hard time doing the believing of this reason. Were you two not in love? As much of an _airhead _as you terrans perceive me to be, I am not such a fool when it comes to love and when it comes to the way you look at each other."

"I…" Why did Raven tell Kori? Didn't they agree that the other teammates would figure out on their own? "Raven's right. It was difficult and we found that this wasn't the right time to have a relationship."

The Tamaranian shook her head, wild ringlets flailing everywhere, "But love, is it not the foundation for all? It is the basis of your terran laws is it not? That love _is _law. I am pretty sure that you two would have fixed it in due time."

"Well…" he scratched an ear, thinking on this, "Well, when real life comes into it, love becomes a little hard." Her scent calmed at that for some odd reason, but he didn't think it was the right time to dwell on it, "Doesn't mean I didn't—_don't_—love her. I do…I still do…I really, _really _do and it hurts like shit to know that we're not together anymore but it was the right thing."

"She still loves you too." His ears perked at that, and he growled to himself, pressing his ears downwards forcefully, "Immensely. She would do the ass kicking of a _chikolati _for you if you were in the danger."

He chuckled at that thought, not knowing what the hell a chikolati was, "I guess I would too, even now. But…circumstances change and we're growing up and so we have to face the things we don't want to now that we're grown up." He grumbled, "Growing up sucks."

"Agreed, friend. Yet…togetherness is needed when a situation becomes too great…and we are losing that. All of us." She smiled, her voluptuous lips awkwardly soft, "I am thinking that friend Vic is the only one of us who is the sane." Kori nodded to herself, her skin dimming a little, "And maybe not…he is, after all, dating a woman who, though a Honorary Titan, is still quite at large by the police and…still does the crime from time to time."

"Never thought we'd hit this low. All a bunch of screw ups." He laughed, bitter and sweet at the same time, "Do you even remember the times when all we would think about was kicking weird masked people's butts, crushing on everyone else and wondering what was going to be for dinner and whose turn it was for the dishes?"

"Simpler times, Garfield Logan. I would think that the problems were always there, we were just younger and we chose to ignore them." She placed a hand over his, squeezing tightly for a couple of minutes, "Maturity hates ignorance, and so it defeats it. Victory has never been the more bitter."

Garfield had to agree with Kori's small tidbit of wisdom; it made a lot of sense, and it spurred a lot of memories that he couldn't remember remembering. There was that one time when she was fourteen and he was thirteen—_way _back in the day when they first started out—and they had their first movie night—after much coercing, Dick was still a hard nut to crack back then…even in his ridiculous getup as Robin—and though they all enjoyed the movie, he remembered that he couldn't help noticing that they were all a bit…stiff…that they all still felt a bit…unfit…to be a part of a potential family. Raven, however, was worse, and chose not to even try to conceal these feelings by reading a really old, really smelly book. From that day on, he had decided that he would try to get to know her better, it was as simple as that and yet the process was the most complicated process he had ever experienced in his life.

Maybe he had even decided that he had loved her from that moment. But he was thirteen, what did he know about love back then?

He pondered on this as they both continued to sit on the floor, wondering at what point it had all gone downhill. Had it only really just started when Dick went back to Gotham that first time? Was it really that recent? He could remember the incident like it was yesterday when it had been a couple of months before that it had happened. Maybe it had been growing throughout their own growth and they were just too young…and too stubborn to notice it. He knew that Raven seemed to think so, but he was still unsure of that…still unsure if it was even necessary to call their situation a problem.

But of course it was a problem, had anyone else witnesses such a tragic demise of Jump City's finest? Had anyone ever thought that, apart from the official end to a long contract, the Teen Titans would truly end? Garfield Logan didn't think so. They were supposed to be Jump City's beacon of hope and of salvation and right now he felt like a fraud to be conceived as either. The responsibility had become a burden too heavy for any of them to bear, but they must continue to do so because it was the right thing to do, no matter what personal obligations and complications came about.

Kori seemed to read his mind, and the furrows between her perfectly shaped brows deepened, "We are not fit to be the people's role models right now and it is entirely our fault because we all contain this…human trait in us…even as an alien I have this trait. My knorfka has even claimed that I have gone soft, though he does not find this a fault in my personality."

"I…I just wish that everything could go back to normal with us, y'know?"

She giggled, though it sounded rough and forced, "Normality has never been the Teen Titans strongpoint. We are the freaks of nature, and even the personal conditions like to conform to these rules."

"Hmm…" he sighed, placing his chin on his fist, "I've never hated being a freak more. God, I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad that our Titan days our going to be over soon."

And he was, sincerely. It was drastic, to be sure, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. As much as he was an optimist, he really couldn't see the bright side to this situation that they had all gotten themselves into because they were so interlocked with each other that anything that happened to one of them would inevitable create some commotion between all of them.

"I…agree…on some level but I believe that we will all feel the sorrow when it is time. Even though the things are looking bad, I do not think that any of us would really want to do the fast forwarding of time."

Her smile turned sad, and she let her fingers caress his cheeks briefly, before pulling them away and tucking them into her lap. She smelled like new car tarnished by some sort of distress, which moulded her emotions to become something that he rarely felt from her; fear. Sure, there was always that fear that he felt from everyone when they were fighting, but this fear was different…this fear was not in the moment, and it felt…permanent. This was weird because he had always known Kori as a _live for the moment _type of person, and with this new fear growing like some goddamned fungus, uprooting even the most passionate and optimistic of people.

This was new, and not the nice type.

Garfield tried to smile back but gave up after what seemed to be mere seconds and she nodded in understanding before standing up and brushing her fingers against the front of her pyjamas. It seems that their conversation had come to an end, and like all ends, it left a strange feeling of reminiscence and longing, mingled with relief and regret.

"I must be going for the shower, friend. I am on the city patrol from now until the afternoon." A smile broke out on her face, this time it was true, "Then I will be doing the date with Mr. Crawford, so I will not be seeing you, I should think. Wish me the luck?"

He didn't know what came over him, but there was a sudden urge for physical touch and he lunged at her, hugging her as tightly as he could, "Good luck, I'm sure he's shitting himself trying to figure out how to make you happy." He grinned before releasing her, and noticed—with a little bit of pride—that her breathing was shallow due to the tightness of the hug, much like the way she hugged people, "You don't need luck. Plus, I think Lady Fortuna wouldn't want to give you any, she's probably jealous."

"Lady For…" she stopped, her eyes gleaming, "never mind…I will try to figure it out myself. Thank you dear friend. Will you be OK today?"

Garfield groaned, rubbing his lethargic eyes, "Probably not, but I'm always good at trying."

"You are that. Goodbye my friend."

With that she walked away, and for a mere second, he felt like he understood why Raven hated saying goodbye; it was one of the most painful emotions that he had ever felt, and it hurt even more because a lot of people were _really _leaving, were _really _saying goodbye.

He shook his head, and stood up himself, wondering the corridors for a couple of minutes before he found himself being enticed by the most delicious scent in the world; waffles, the vegan kind. As much as the recent events had pained him, his superficial self still found some time to wonder at the magic of food, and maybe—though this was probably untrue—he would feel some consolation with food in his stomach. It didn't stop him wondering—though his feet had suddenly grown a mind of it's own and was rushing towards the kitchen—_who _was cooking the vegan waffles, and why. As far as he was concerned, no one—apart from Kori, who ate _anything_—touched his food.

As the kitchen doors _wooshed _open, he couldn't hold back his surprise.

Vic had been cooking the waffles and he was still in the process of doing so.

"Mornin' B," he didn't take his eyes off the waffle maker but still continued, "rough night?"

As empty as the kitchen normally was, Garfield was disappointed to see how empty it actually was without the rowdiness that breakfast usually provoked; especially since it was a Monday. It was metal, like the rest of the tower, and the natural characteristic of coldness was still there despite the warmer air. The Tower was nothing but a shell without the people that lived in it, and even with the few remaining people, it was starting to lose its novelty. Even the shape of it didn't feel so special anymore; it was alien and was becoming a little less like home every day.

Garfield grabbed himself a cup of soy milk from the fridge before sitting himself down.

"Yea…" he ran a hand through his hair, "you could say that." He screwed his mouth into a position he wasn't sure of before continuing with his train of thought, "Say, dude, why you makin' vegan waffles man? I thought you hated that stuff."

Vic finally turned around, and even with all the metallic gear he looked tired, "Nothin' else to eat. No one's gone to the supermarket in days. We've been too busy."

"Um…I guess. Why can't we just order pizza?"

"They're startin' to charge more for us since they have to come here by boat. Jerks."

"Oh…well…you would've forgotten to get anythin' for me anyway."

"True." Vic chuckled, "True."

Silence.

There was a lot of that these days. Did being an adult require the disability of vocal use? Would you stop talking? Even to your closest friends? To your family?

Gar really didn't know anymore.

He didn't really know anything really. He never ever acted like the smartass but he'd like to think that there was something in him that knew what was going on. Something that Vic and Dick had but he apparently did not.

As soon as the waffles were ready, Vic casually flipped them onto a couple of plates and sat down across Garfield. There was a sort of subtle novelty to the move that Garfield didn't quite catch, but appreciated all the same.

Garfield dug into his as soon as they were in front of him, his fork clattering against the ceramic plate noisily, and his fingers sweated slightly, like they were nervous, "Vic."

"Yea?" His human eyebrow rose up, and his human eye followed him.

"Did you love anyone when you were still normal?"

The clattering stopped, and instead it was replaced by soft _thud _as his best friend placed his cutlery on the plate gently, "Yea." His voice was filled with heavy reminisce, "I did. My girlfriend in high school before…y'know."

"Yea." Garfield replied softly, "What was it like?"

"Normal, I guess. Or at least at the time I thought it was normal but now that I think about it, it was probably the most amazin' thing I ever had. Even if it was only temporary and even if it was shallow." He nodded to himself, "I mean, Jinx is _amazin' _but sometimes I feel like I'd…I dunno. Why?"

"Just…askin'."

Vic didn't believe his lie for a second, "You broke up with her yesterday, didn't you?"

It was his time to pause, and everything seemed to stand still.

"Yea. Yea." He repeated, not looking up, "She left."

"I know."

"You do? How?"

His best friend turned to look at him, seriousness etched on his face, "The surveillance cameras. You and Kori get pretty deep sometimes when you two talk." It was just as simple as that, it seems, "Where d'ya think she's gone to?

Garfield shrugged and tried to look as nonchalant as possible, but inevitably failed, "I dunno. Maybe Azarath or someplace like that. I…shit Vic, I miss her already." His appetite was gone now, "She got pissed and I kissed her and…and…" he felt his eyes soften, "she just walked away. It hurts like a bitch, Vic, I don't want to be _just friends_, I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life." Vic nodded in understanding, "Damned Sakutia. I was gonna get married and you were gonna be there trying to shove alcohol down whoever was with you, and Dick was gonna attract all the fuckin' media in the world and Kori was gonna be preggers with alien babies." He shrugged, and cracked a smile as Vic started to grin too, "So, OK, that wasn't very realistic, but you know what I mean. She was _everything _to me, Vic, _is_ everything to me."

"I'm sorry Gar, but I—"

"Yea, yea, I know you told me…I just didn't think…"

Vic shrugged this time, "You didn't think, like usual and I'm not sayin' that's a bad thing Gar, but sometimes you gotta listen to what others say."

"I know."

"Good." Vic also looked like he lost his appetite, and he pushed the plate away, "Jinx is comin' to stay here for a while." He suddenly changed the subject, "And I asked Kole and Gnarkk to come stay here too."

"I guess they'll do. When are they comin' in?"

"Next week, gotta get the place set up and stuff y'know?"

That caused Garfield to pause, "They're not stayin' here permanently, are they?"

"No." There was no hesitation in his voice, "No. They're tryin' out though."

"Oh. OK." He had never had such a static conversation with Vic before, but there was always a first for everything, "Why next week?"

"Coz you'll be gone by then."

Garfield scoffed, "I'm not goin' _anywhere_, Vic. I'm stayin' right here if it kills me."

"It probably will." A grin emerged, but it faltered as quick as it came about, "You're goin' to L.A next week. I got you a ticket."

"Why the hell would I go to L.A Vic, I mean, yea, shit, I'd love a holiday but—!"

"Not a holiday. I'm packin' you off to S.T.A.R Labs, they wanted to see you coz you're a special case and all and since I knew you'd be hella depressed about the situation, I thought that I might as well send you there." He looked Gar in the eyes, his own dark eye not betraying any emotion, "I want you better, Gar, and this might help you. So, OK, it's still in the experimental stages, but it might work. Plus I'm only sendin' you there for a week, tops, so you won't miss anythin'."

"Oh…_Oh_." His eyes widened.

Garfield felt a new appreciation for his best friend grow inside of him, and though he didn't want to raise too much hope, he felt good about this or at least, better than he had been before. True, the cure was still experimental, but even Vic said there was a chance of a cure, and Vic was smart.

At that very moment, he loved Vic so much that he might kiss him.

He didn't, though it would've been funny if he did.

Kinda, anyway.

After that they continued to eat in silence, and Garfield even managed to finish his waffle, much to his stomach's delight. Though it wasn't the answer to everything, he felt hopeful, and hope was always his strong point.

"Vic."

"Yea?"

Garfield grinned, "Thanks for the waffles."

**A/N: OK, its a weak ending but I didn't know how to end it, so it ended up this way. **

**Don't forget to review! See you all next time!**


	17. Lonely in Gorgeous

**A/N: OMG I've been such a bad fanfic writer...um...I'm sorry?**

**Also, I'm really sorry about the quality and the quantity of this chapter. I wrote one half of it over a month ago and seemed to have forgotten what I was going to write, and so to appease you and to appease my own guilt...I have written this. It fits into the story quite nicely but the quality isn't that great.**

**Sorry.**

**Anyway, read and review OK?**

**BTW. Please read the A/N at the bottom. Danke schon!**

**Chapter 17**

Time liked to go past as slowly as possible when it was inconvenient for people, it was its favourite thing to do—to annoy them—and right now it was killing Garfield. Not literally, though he wouldn't be surprised if it did start happening, but ever since Raven had left three days ago, time had been ticking so slowly that he could've done a marathon between the seconds.

And he was losing; who _lost _a marathon? Is it even a competitive sport?

He felt his eyes slide over the obnoxious looking Titans communicator and tried to telepathically wish it into beeping and flashing or…or _something_. Raven had never been much of a presence but right now the Tower felt too quiet…and he missed her. A lot. So much that it crossed his mind to call her about half a million times but…but he didn't. He knew that it wouldn't help any of them to keep in contact and she was right, it would be easier for them to s_tay friends _if they kept apart for a while, just long enough for both of them to forget what _being together _was like.

He shook his head as his eyes glazed over at a scene from another noir movie that he had picked up. For some odd reason, they had lost their appeal and all he could think about was why the hell someone didn't invent coloured movies earlier to make it so much easier for people to watch it. Sure it was kinda glamorous…but that was it, he realised, there was nothing else that made him want to watch it. He knew Rita would be disappointed but it was the simple truth; film noir was just not as amazing as it had been.

Sigh.

He didn't know that there was such thing as this much spare time in one's life, it made him wonder how much of his time he spent with Raven, how much of the time he spent fighting, how much of the time he spent hanging out with his friends and he wondered whether or not he actually made anytime for himself. It then made him wonder why he had put so much effort into all those activities and none for himself and it made him feel very, very lost because he figured that his friends were a huge part of him, but never in his life, not until now, had he realised to what extent that statement was true. More like a family and yet now…not so much…and he wasn't really sure whose fault it actually was. Maybe everyone's, maybe no one's but he knew that playing the blame game now wasn't going to solve anything.

Finally, he came to a conclusion; he had to get out.

Garfield turned off the TV—the small one he had saved up for in his early teens, desperate for something to play and watch in his own room—and scrambled around his room, hastily thrusting his hands in every corner, in search for his holographic ring. Everyone was right, especially Raven—since she was the one who came into his room the most—he really did have a problem with organisation and hygiene but, really, what use was it to clean it up now? It wasn't like they were staying for that much longer anyway.

Sigh.

As soon as he found that piece of metal, he shoved it onto his middle finger almost painfully and didn't even bother to go look in the mirror; he already knew what he looked like with it on and despite his ongoing desperate urge for normality, he didn't really like his physical appearance. He knew that if he never got Sakutia then he would look like this—blue eyed and blond haired—but right now it wasn't really a comfort too him, no matter how many times he would try to convince himself that he would be so good looking that girls would throw themselves on him. Tonight, perhaps, his disguise would just burden him, but at the moment he had little care for such notions.

The next few minutes went by like a blur and all he remembered was lamely shouting out that he was going out, glancing at Vic being busy with his computer gadgets and Kori giggling like a madwoman into her phone; he could only guess who was on the other side and he wasn't too sure whether he liked this Crawford character, sure he seemed decent but there was no knowing, _really_. The tunnels were also a blur, and for once he didn't bother grabbing his moped to make the journey quicker, even though it was a long way away to the city; it was ridiculous how many memories clung onto his beloved—though almost broken—moped and maybe he resented it a little.

God, cheer up Garfield, no need to turn emo.

But…technically he did have every right to be angry, to be depressed…the only problem was that he didn't know who he was supposed to throw these feelings at; surely the blame was not on him? Others…all the others were to blame…he just didn't know who specifically. Of course, he had a rough idea but then he wasn't allowed to assume anything; if you assume, you'll always make an _ass _out of _u _and _me_. Lame, he knew, but at the time he thought that up he thought he was pretty smart, before Dick pointed out that someone else had already thought that up. Quite sad, really.

Soon, he found the metal door that led to the centre of the city, and as he pushed it the button, light came streaming in violently, as if to attack him. It was around midday, the warmest time of the day, but spring was coming soon, and for all the shortcomings of his current situations, spring remained uniform and constantly beautiful in Jump City.

Especially in Jump City.

The light just shimmered, dancing between yellow light and blue light, while the air flowed through the trees, causing the leaves to laugh. That was another thing, he noticed that the people were a bit happier too, in the spring, and as clichéd as it was, there were a lot of couple walking around, hand in hand; laughing, smiling, talking, or just walking side by side, nudging each other in silence. Garfield, on the other hand, had his hands shoved into his jean pockets, kicking imaginary cans on the ground which was probably quite the depressing sight. He did put in some effort though, and it helped that there were a million kids running around, and a smile here and there wasn't too hard to throw around.

For a couple of hours, he meandered around the city, walking around aimlessly and not even setting his eyes on the sights. Garfield grew tired though, and his legs started to feel heavy even though in the past he'd walk further and longer than this, but he had an inkling that his emotions were an even heavier burden than the physical loss of strength. Trudging a couple more steps, he walked over to the closest café he knew about and found himself in the hustle and bustle of a Starbucks in the afternoon; the worst kind, filled with pretentious coffee drinkers and newspaper rustlers…or so Raven would have said. It was the reason why Raven liked her tea drinking times either in the morning or late at night. It couldn't be helped though, he was tired and desperate for a place to sit, and at that time he didn't really care whether or not he got the comfy sofas that he so loved whenever he went to Starbucks.

"Geez." He muttered to himself as he found a single table in the corner of the room, "Raven was right."

And she was right; Starbucks was packed with people, a lot of people, and he was starting to have second thoughts on resting here. Despite the soothing jazz music—_dammit!_—the conversations were even louder than the notes, and so the music was quite futile. But what was the use? It wasn't like he was going to walk out of the café again to find another one that was exactly the same as this one on the other side of town. He would have to endure and…buy himself a cup of coffee by the way that one of the baristas was evil-eyeing him.

"One cup of tea…" he slowed then shook his head, "no…I meant…coffee…just get me any coffee."

The lady at the counter nodded mutely and after a couple of minutes, he grabbed his coffee and walked quickly towards his table, hoping that no one had grabbed his seat. No such luck, he realised, when he found a woman sitting there.

_Great. _

He turned around to try to find another table when something inside him ticked and he knew, after all these –almost—twenty-one years of living, that it was the tick of familiarity; he _knew _this person, or at least the thought he did. He turned around again to try to catch a better look of her, to catch her scent, and to figure out who the hell this person was. Garfield didn't want to freak her out so he didn't come too close, but he was still curious; she had curly strawberry blonde hair, almost as if she was growing hair dye out, she had freckles and…and she smelt like something sticky…and sweet…he just couldn't…

Suddenly it hit him.

"Jillian?"

She turned around, her hair bouncing quite gracefully behind her, and her blue eyes sparkled with curiosity; it was her alright. She looked the same except…older…and she had more of an edge on her, like something that had finally bloomed into maturity and was tainted by the longing for youth once more. Her perfect button nose complemented everything about her face; she was pretty…almost gorgeous, but not quite…and the abundance of freckles made her seem younger than he actually knew she was. She was the same age as he was, but still, they hadn't seen each other in a couple of years, and there was bound to be some changes. He wondered is she recognised him.

"Who are you…" those words dragged, as he saw recognition fill her eyes and her scent, her lips seemed indecisive; not really sure whether or not they should smile or frown. He didn't really care, actually, he was strangely…glad, "Gar? Garfield Logan? Is that _you_?"

He grinned, sensing some type of warmth from her, "The one and only." He moved forward to shake her hand, and he was glad that she took it.

It was weird how meeting someone could produce so many memories at once; he remembered kissing her, he remembered joking around with her, he remembered holding her hand tightly, he remembered laughing with her in the Tower…and he remembered sleeping with her and thinking that they'd be together forever. It was a familiar feeling, and for once, he didn't push it away.

"Oh my God…_Gar_…is that _really _you?" She smiled, and his heart fluttered a bit, "You look…not green." Her smile grew and he had to smile back.

He grinned, "And you look a lot less pink. Did your dad finally complain?"

She giggled, and he welcomed it, "I finally got tired of the rebellious act…plus my hair was getting' totally ruined by the constant hair dying."

"What are you doing here anyway?"

Jillian sighed, "Forced holiday." He threw her an incredulous look and she caught it, throwing her into a fit of giggles, "I sound like such a dork, but I've been working so hard for these past years that even my _dad _took pity on me. Who knew that doing a bachelor's degree in economics would be so hard?"

"Wow, Jill…a _forced _holiday. Never thought that you'd sink that low." He joked, "Where do yo go to school anyway?"

"France." She smiled, almost wistfully, "It's such a beautiful country…I just wish I didn't miss all the junk here so much."

France…so that's where she was now. They had dated before Terra had come into his life and they had even tried to date again once the Terra situation was over and they had found themselves in a new situation where both were older…though that never guaranteed that they were wiser. Jillian had been a childhood friend of his, and he had known her from public school—when he still went—while he was in the Doom Patrol. Garfield thought that he would never see her again after he ran away, but it turns out that because of Jillian's dad's job—which, to this day, Garfield knew nothing about—they had to move to Jump City and he was reunited with her all over again. They started dating, and it was bliss.

Young, gorgeous, everlasting bliss.

There were two obstacles that they had to face together though; Terra and Jillian's father. Garfield had first met Terra when he was dating Jillian and he had started to grow feelings towards her…and Jillian had noticed. He had tried not to like Terra with all his might but it didn't work and in the heat of the moment, Jillian had broken up with him, with the hope that they would get back together.

But they didn't, not for a while anyway.

They had started dating again when they were both about sixteen and this time the obstacle had been Jillian's father; he didn't like Garfield for being Beast Boy—for they knew him when he was still in the Doom Patrol and lacked a disguise—and to keep them apart, he had sent Jillian to a boarding school in Europe, somewhere in Swiss. He was heart-broken when that happened and he had the impression that she was too. They were each other's first loves and had shared many firsts throughout the years…and things like that really didn't fade away even with time. It was too much…too much had been embedded in both their hearts.

He wondered if it was why his stomach seemed to flutter so much.

"Don't worry about it. I missed you too." He flashed another grin, wondering if he got her symbolism right or if she really meant _junk_.

"Still as self-obsessed as usual, genius? But, I guess it's true…I missed you…but I bet you missed me more." She stuck her tongue out cheekily while absently brushing a curl out of her face, "You still with the Titans?"

"Yea…"

"Awesome. Can I come around, sometime? It's been a while since I've stepped into that place. It hasn't changed, has it?"

He shook his head, sipping the hot coffee he had in his hands, "Nah. Still the same old, same old. Well, Vic's added a few more gadget stuff in but you know him."

"Oh my God…I completely forgot about everyone else. How are they? Are Dick and Kori still together?"

"They're…well…everything's a bit complicated right now. We're not really the same bunch of screw-ups that you met a while back." He pursed his lips in thought before continuing, "We're probably worse now."

She laughed, and he knew that she took it as a joke, "Screw-ups? You guys were the most awesome people I'd ever met in my life. It's what I miss most about living back here…I could hang out with you guys every day all day."

He grinned, "Damn right. Those were the days, eh?"

"Those were the days…" she giggled, "By the way, I was reading JumpGirl and I read that you're dating Raven? Seriously? Is that true?"

"Well…"

She gasped, throwing both hands in front of her mouth, "Oh my God…it's _true_. I thought it was just gossip but…"Jillian threw him a look that he couldn't read no matter how hard he tried, "_wow_. Raven, huh? Never saw it coming."

He sighed, "There's nothing to it…not anymore, anyway."

"Whoa there…easy on the news. You guys broke up?"

"Yea…" He frowned, his fingers running through his mass of hair absently, "Yea. Mutual though, we don't hate each other or nothin' like that."

He looked down at the table and found himself quite mesmerised by the sheen of it. Not mesmerised…just…distracted. He never thought that his relationship—well, the press didn't know about the break up—was still a hot topic amongst the tabloids and magazines and he never figured that Jillian, of all people, would find out about it. God, he didn't really know what he thought about her knowing; on the one hand, it wasn't really any of her business so he shouldn't feel bothered about confirming his relationship but on the other hand, this was his ex-girlfriend. Seriously, his brain was so indecisive right now that it was pretty annoying and he wanted it to stop, he wanted to be able to think straight and not let other…other problems cloud his mind.

Suddenly, he felt warm fingers wrap around his own and strangely, they felt warmer than the coffee cup he was still holding in his grasp. The familiarity of the action and the presence struck him dumb, like he was being held by two people at once, and he had to look up to reassure himself that what he was thinking was completely stupid and the only person that was there with him was Jillian Jackson.

"I'm sorry." She finally spoke after what seemed to be a while, "I didn't know you were hurting. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"It's OK. We both knew it was comin'."

"Still…it was insensitive of me to mention it. I just didn't think it was true. I mean, you guys never really got a long…at all. I didn't think that it would actually happen."

He shrugged, "I…we…we just grew up, I guess."

"I guess…but you've gotta admit…growing up kinda sucks." She giggled and he almost believed that she was joking.

"Yea…yea…it sucks." He flashed her another grin, he seemed to be doing that a lot, "I'm not so cute anymore."

Jillian laughed and reached over to _smoosh _his cheeks together. For someone who used to be that special someone, it was a really intimate gesture and he could smell it on her too. She smelled eager and awkward but at the same time everything about her body language seemed to indicate that she was trapped in the past, just as people in a reunion usually do. Her smile was gregarious, a little too much, and her heart seemed to flutter like his did…though she didn't know it.

He suddenly thought about what Vic had told him about Jill and wanted to ask her. But he didn't. He knew that it would make their reunion instantly awkward, and he didn't want that.

He sipped on his coffee momentarily while he kept his attention on her. She was so different to Raven that it was quite weird how he had dated both Jillian _and _Raven. Jillian was outgoing and funny and pretty and he had known her for much longer while Raven was the complete opposite; she was introverted and sarcastic and lacked conventional prettiness but…but they connected on so many more levels than he and Jillian ever did. Sure, she shared a lot of interests with him—such as a passion for the GameStation, sports, the movies—but they were all superficial and didn't really count for anything in his book, even though once upon a time he thought they did.

Jillian was the same with him on the outside but on the inside…it was all Raven.

He sighed once more, exhaling deeper than he should have.

She continued to talk about things; things that he was familiar with and others that he was not so sure about. Her laughter filled the room and cleared the air of all the other coffee-drinkers, and she lit up every time he laughed with her, or he made a joke, as if she missed just about everything of him; from his physical self to his sole presence. It made him wonder whether or not he would be like that if he ever saw Raven again in the near future.

It made his heart ache desperately just to think about Raven. He thought that he'd go crazy if he ever saw her again, even more so than if he never saw her again. Garfield would want every part of her, everything he could take in, everything he could swallow up in whatever short a time he had and he didn't know if he would do it with her consent…no…of course he'd have to get her consent first…it would be completely…_primitive_…completely _barbarian _not to get her consent first. But it would be hard to think straight in whatever state he was in and he thought that he wouldn't care.

He was wondering why he wasn't feeling that with Jillian.

Well…common sense would tell him that it was because he was still feeling shitty over his break up with Raven. Yet…he was in love with Jillian too once, or at least he thought that he had been in love with Jillian. What had changed? Was it him? Was it her? Was it just the situation that they were both in? Or that they had grown up? He had always thought that if he ever met Jillian ever again, he would fall on his feet and beg her to never leave him ever again but now…now they were just having a civil conversation, as if their relationship had never happened. He would've thought that he'd b hurt by a mere conversation, but he wasn't. Still…she was still hella attractive after all these years…maybe even more so.

A beautiful, beautiful stranger.

"Hey…are you busy?"

Garfield frowned, but then shook his head, "No…why?"

"Well…" Jillian smiled, "I thought that it'd be cool if you showed me around. You know, a sort of re-acquaintance with the city and all."

"Oh…well." His frown deepened and he knew she caught it by the way she was frowning too, "I've got to go. Duties."

Garfield stood up and hastily pushed his chair in. Jillian did the same, and for a while, they stood face to face, not really knowing how to say goodbye to each other. He pursed his lips and she seemed to mirror him. It was awkward.

Suddenly, before Garfield knew what hit him, she kissed him and it wasn't just any kiss either, it was a passionate one and she kissed him as if she wanted to make up for lost time. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she seemed to forget that they were in a public place, or she didn't really care. She seemed to tell him that she wanted him back into her life, as soon as possible, if not now.

For a moment, he found himself kissing her back, he found his fingers entangled in her reddish hair and heat transferring between them. For a moment he felt like he was seventeen again, in love with a girl he'd know for most of his life and believing that what they had would last a lifetime. For a moment he forgot about Raven and his troubles and just found himself lost in a puddle of memories and heated wished and desires. For a moment, he could believe that he was just a normal guy dating a normal guy in a normal context.

Of course, that moment passed.

He remembered who he was, he remembered what was happening, and he remembered who he loved. He remembered that he was Garfield Logan, he remembered that he was Beast Boy, he remembered that he had Sakutia, he remembered that he had the Beast and finally, finally he remembered that he loved Raven. Raven Roth. Rachel Roth. Rachel. Roth. Raven. Raven. Raven. Raven. Raven.

He stopped.

His reflexes pushed her away a little, not too hard that she would get hurt but not too soft that she would get the wrong impression. He had loved her, but that was a long time ago. He was broken up with Raven, but that didn't mean that he felt any differently. He wanted the warmth of another human being, but that didn't mean he had to jump whoever was available.

He was human; he had to remember that sometimes.

"Jill." He stopped, and they were both breathing heavily, their eyes locked on each other, "I'm sorry…we can't…I'm…" He didn't know what to actually say to her so he shut up.

Jillian rubbed her arms, and she looked down, but there was a small smile on her lips, "I'm sorry, that was an idiotic thing to do. I just missed you, that's all, and I thought that it wouldn't hurt to have a little fun while I'm still here."

Garfield nodded, and despite the context, he wasn't indignant that he was the object of her _fun_.

"Its stupid. I just did it because I didn't know whether or not I still had feelings for you. You clearly don't. " He smile grew sad, "You're in love with Raven."

It was his turn to smile, but all he could manage was a sideways smile, "Yea. I'm that."

"It was good seeing you. Even with the awkward end."

He grinned, "Yea, yea it was. Call me up when you come back, yea?"

"I will." Her lips parted to show beautiful whites, "I will."

With that, they parted, and she walked away, her silhouette barely visible amongst the city's vibrancy. He himself walked out of Starbucks after a few minutes, and found himself meandering once more, pondering on the events that had just passed, and yet not thinking about it. A juxtaposition of events that he couldn't summarise and was desperate to solve.

Garfield shoved his hands into his pockets once more and let the warm spring breeze dance around him.

Here he was back to being alone.

**A/N: The character Jillian Jackson really does exist in the DC world...but I've tweaked her and their situation a bit differently...**

**Also....**

**I'm sorry guys but I've got to be on hiatus for a couple of months. My final exams are coming up in May and I've got to study study study! I love you guys ever so much and I hope you guys will understand.**

**Don't worry though, I'll be back once they're over!**

***cackles***


	18. I thought paper planes never fell

**A/N: Week break between exams. Won't be back for a while, again. I really do miss this fanfic writing stuff though.**

**Read and review people! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 18**

_Brrrrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnggggggggg…._

_Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg…._

_BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNGG…!!!!!!_

"Ugh!"

Raven threw the communicator on the floor in frustration, the cold numbing her senses and her anger setting light to her nerves. Why wouldn't he pick up, dammit? She had called him over and over again and still nothing. No one picked up_. No one_.

She sighed, staring at her communicator aimlessly and then staring back at the blank screen of the TV once more. Her deep-violet hair lay limply on her forehead and the rest of it was swept aside roughly as not to bother her; she wanted to cut it, badly, but she didn't know anyone or anything here. Truth be told, even Dick was a stranger in his hometown, even more so than when he started irritating everyone in Jump City.

Her eyes found themselves looking at the communicator once more and she shook her head; Vic wasn't going to pick up if he didn't pick up the last three or four days. Neither was Kori but by _Azar _she needed someone to talk to; anyone! Of course the obvious person was unavailable—in their current situation, anyway—and even if he was available, she wasn't sure how to address what she was doing and why; she herself wasn't so entirely sure about that.

Raven picked up the remote and started flipping through the channel; she hadn't watched real television in a long time and though she didn't really want to, there was really nothing to do in this city other than getting mugged._ Really_.

She missed him and she was _exhausted_. Gotham didn't suit her, it dried up all her empathic powers and it reeked of sadness and anger and pain, some ancient and some new. Only _Azar _would know what happened if she actually stepped outside instead of cooping herself in their small apartment. Their small, dusty apartment; Raven figured that neither Barbara nor Dick was adept at cleaning, though that was quite surprising since Dick had been paranoid of dust ever since Slade's mask incident. That wasn't a pretty situation for anyone and a repeat of that, especially now, would be fatal; she couldn't—and wouldn't—imagine it.

Raven just…she just missed him._ Badly_. She wanted him to be here with her but it was impossible, both their minds were made up and as malleable as they seemed, they were hard as steel under the surface. Not just them too exclusively, now that she thought about it, but everyone in the team. Steel; cold, hard and durable.

Suddenly, she turned around, aware of the presence brooding behind her. It was still angry and frustrated but at the same time it was curious and worried and she knew in that second that she would meet with the piercing blue eyes of Dick Grayson. Just Dick Grayson and yet the mask was still there; it sometimes made her wonder…

"Hey." His voice was husky and coarse and yet…a little sad.

She was_ too_—sad, she meant—and they both knew why, "Hi. How is Babs?"

Dick cracked a smile at her but his eyes stayed focus, "Sleeping. She got so tired after arguing with her dad about stuff that she fell asleep as soon as she got home."

Raven nodded, "That's good then. How's your week been?"

His brow rose, "Surprising…unpleasant…awkward…happy. You know how it's been."

"I _do_ know." She nodded again, understanding his implications.

"Yours?"

She smirked, the upper corners of her lips lifting almost devilishly, "Quite similar in those aspects. My back has never been so abused."

His eyes lit up and she could see the young leader that she had met all those years ago, "I reckon that our couch would do that. It's old, I think as old as Alfred."

"Nothing is as old as Alfred, I think, nor as pleasant."

It was his turn to nod, "True."

Silence invited himself rudely into their conversation and both persons pursed their lips in uncertainty, grabbing at each other's bond uncomfortably. She wondered whether or not Wisdom's method was actually working, but she reckoned that it needed time to reach its full potential. Raven wondered what they would both feel like after their bond had finally been broken; would they feel at loss? Would they rejoice? Or would they feel so empty that they would try to replicate those sensations once more? There was no way of knowing, no way, really.

"Raven." He paused before continuing, and she knew what he was going to say, "All jokes aside and all tensions aside…can I sit down?" He indicated at the couch and she merely nodded.

For a moment, they both sat down in silence, hands in their laps, eyes darting from side to side anxiously. He was going to speak first.

Finally, he looked at her, "Raven…are you OK?"

It was her turn to raise her brow, though she knew that he noticed how her mouth drooped a little, "Dick…you've asked that to me a million times. I'm fine."

"Like hell you are, Raven…your insides are just waiting to explode. If I didn't know that you were human, I'd reckon that you were going to spontaneously combust anytime soon."

"Ha…ha Dick. So funny, I am laughing inside." She scrutinised him, his brow relaxing and her eyes gaining access to that little bit of him that he didn't let her in for the past few days…and months.

Raven sighed, her head finding solace in the palms of her hand, "I'm just exhausted Dick. Immensely exhausted." That was the truth, or at least part of it, "Taking care of others drains you. You should know that."

He paused, his fingers suddenly tapping at his thigh absently, his dark, almost brooding, brows furrowed together as if questioning his own motives. He wanted to ask her things, and she knew what it was, but he let it lie for a while, and tapped away absently; neither annoying nor comforting either.

"Who were you calling just then?"

"Vic." She shrugged, not caring about what she was saying, "I needed to talk to someone and he's never been one to turn down a conversation."

That tiny wrinkle in his brow deepened, and Raven felt her stomach tighten, "Have you called Gar yet? Does he know that you're here?"

She hesitated for a moment, and Raven knew that hesitation was fatal, and so did he. There was a surge of concern for her as she took those two seconds worth of a sigh, and his hand looked like they itched to reach out…but they didn't. There were still boundaries between them, and since he was the person who set them up, he wasn't going to be the first person to tear them down.

"_Will_ you call him?"

Raven shook her head, "No." Her lips pursed together harshly, and the pressure pained her, "No…and…Dick, I'm sorry but what do you_ care_? He hates your guts right now and I have a hard time believing that you're fond of him at this very moment."

That seemed to shock him a little bit, though not so much, and it was eerie how perfectly he mirrored her in terms of the lip-pursing action, "We might not be the best of friends right now but we were, and that's what counts." He smiled, though it was weary, "Plus, I think that we both have your best interests at heart. You're a part of me, Raven, literally and figuratively. Family helps where family can."

"Family doesn't abandon family either." He seemed to want to react to that comment, but she stopped him, the palm of her hand firmly in front of his face, "But I figure that that's not what you wanted to talk to me about."

"No. No it isn't."

"Then what is it?"

He frowned, "Raven…did something happen between you and Gar…?"

Raven took a good look at him and sighed, never doubting a single word of his as they were wrapped gently in sincerity despite all the hardness that he had tried so hard to build upon them. Dick was in there somewhere…no…Dick was right there in front of him, but he just…transformed…and was manipulated and twisted by past and present events. His personality was even more malleable than people thought it was and she of all people knew that; even Kori—she suspected—didn't know how much of her impacted the way he thought and the way he worked, and really, it was as much their fault as it was his that Dick was the way he was now.

He was still a good person though, she couldn't deny him that. He found solace in creating new relationships with other people and maintaining them and like every member of the team, he wanted nothing more than the company of others…with a catch, though; he was the one responsible for the safety and the well-being of others and he held that responsibility quite tightly in his grip and for some reason…it shattered and crumbled into dust.

"Nothing particularly exciting." She stated blandly, tasting the lie on her tongue.

He sighed, "Lying to me doesn't really work you know? The bond, remember?"

"How could I forget?" She mumbled but it was unheard by him, "We just had…a conflict of interests and…"

"And you guys broke up? Right?"

She rolled her eyes, "And the world's second greatest detective gets it again." Her words were sharp, and she intended for them to be so, "I would've thought that you'd figure it out sooner."

"I did…kinda. I knew that something big happened between you two. I just didn't know…what." He pursed his lips, his blue eyes no longer brooding and more…contemplative, "Are you OK? What happened?"

"We just…" she smiled, though she had no idea why it had appeared so suddenly on her lips, "we just couldn't really handle it anymore, I guess. There was just too much." It was the truth, or as close to it as she wanted to go.

"Too much what? I thought you two were doing fine." He stated, echoing what Kori had told her a couple of days ago, "You guys loved each other. The guy was nuts over you and he would've done anything for you. I think you would have done the same."

"If only." She frowned, her hands tapping away on her lap, "We just…with the team being unstable and all, we just couldn't juggle it all together. We had priorities to the team, at least until it was all over, and we wanted to make it work."

Raven watched as his mouth twisted in a way that panged at her heart, "You're not a very good liar, Raven, and that was a huge lie." She felt as the bond worked for him and he tried to sort out through her emotions, something he wasn't so skilled at as he wasn't a natural empathy, but he was still doing it, and Raven knew that he got the gist of what she was feeling and what might have had happened, "Yea, I admit, the team is having our troubles," he paused long enough for her to glare at him, "but knowing you and Gar for all these years, you guys would've both pulled through. You're both stubborn like that."

"Look who's talking."

He grunted, "I get it OK? I'm an idiot and a jerk but I can't undo the things that I've done and the consequences of it all…but I'm not worried about that, not now. I just…_look_…as selfish as I'm being right now—and don't you dare say that you don't think what I'm doing now is selfish—what you're doing right now is selfish too. You just broke up with the team, split to Gotham and tried to get me back to Jump so that the Titans will be back to playing happy families again. It's just not gonna…it's not gonna work like that." Dick shook his head, "I just want to know why you're doing all this when you could be…"

"Could be doing what? Nothing, Dick. We are in shambles, and yes, I do have selfish intentions with bringing you back…but even those selfish intentions have some kind of after effect—in a good way—on the others. We're just exhausted…I'm just exhausted. I broke up with Gar and…"

"Why, though? Why? I don't get it. I know you two like the back of my hand—especially you, Raven—and there is in no way that you broke up with him and then coincidentally went all the way to Gotham city. It just doesn't make sense. You, of all people, work on logic and reason and it's just unreasonable to leave the team when its foundations are…crumbling."

Raven frowned and raised a brow at him, and though she knew how he was interpreting it, she wished that she didn't. Really, it was such a hassle being tied to a bond that had long served its purpose and was wasting away—no!—feeding on what was left of them. Raven remembered that moment like it was yesterday and she wished, she really wished, that she had tried to learn it properly and to understand the consequences and not pass it up. It was atypical of her to do so, but at that time everything seemed urgent and Dick was their friend…and friends didn't leave friends to go completely insane with delusions and such.

At that moment, she decided that it was OK to give in.

"We broke up because…" she paused, not really knowing how to go on about it, "of a lot of things. Yea, we loved each other but that wasn't enough…you should know that." She waited for him to nod before promptly continuing, "Listen Dick…have you noticed anything strange with the…the bond recently?"

Dick frowned, his brows connecting forcefully and his mouth twisting distastefully, "No…I don't think so…not that I know of."

She sighed, not knowing whether to be glad that the process wasn't too far along that he noticed it or bothered by the fact that he—who had one of the most acute senses for someone who was just human—didn't notice it at all…

"Except," he paused, and she knew that her empathic powers encouraged him to go on, she wanted to know whether or not he had picked up on it and what she would feel if he did. "except that I feel…closer to you somehow, Raven. Like we're intermeshed together." He interlocked his fingers to demonstrate this course of action, "Like…I dunno…now that you mention it…I…it's like…I dunno how to explain it."

He looked up at her and when she didn't say anything, she saw—no, felt—his frown deepen to cause more permanent damage on his already hard face. Her thoughts didn't pick up as quick as they were able to a long time ago, but she was able to pick up his thoughts and feelings much quicker—much, _much _quicker—than of her own. Maybe his realisation was a bad thing, maybe it only developed the bond even more. She didn't know how that would have been possible but…but she wasn't as skilled as she had always thought she was and any symptoms could well be natural. If only she had studied more…if only she wasn't so arrogant about her own skills…

He coughed, and she felt a pang in her own chest.

Raven didn't have any intention of telling him about their sick bond when she was headed towards Gotham, all she thought about was how she could convince him to come back and how everything would neatly—though she knew that it would all be a lie—come back to become normal once and for all. She actually never wanted him to know, she thought that it would put an even bigger burden on their friendship, but she knew that she owed him the truth, at the very least, on something as fickle as her relationship in regards to a much larger, more dangerous event.

"Dick…" she placed a hand on his lap, "what happened when you felt it? When I broke up with Gar? What happened?"

Dick frowned, "Don't change the subject—"

"I'm not. Trust me. What happened?"

"It just…it just hurt, Raven. Physically, mentally…I felt like crying." He took a moment to take in what he had said before continuing, "As a matter of fact, Raven, I _did _cry. I didn't bawl or anything like that…I just…I just remember my cheeks being wet. Shit, Raven, it felt like someone had twisted a knife into me."

Raven smiled; it was sad, "And yet we were two cities apart. Not even cities that are close to each other…and it felt so _real_, right? Like it was _you _who was being hurt, right?"

"Yea…exactly that." The words were hazy but she saw how his eyes suddenly went sharp; suspicious and alert, "Why, Raven? What the hell is happening?"

She paused, nibbling at her lower lip, "Do you remember? Do you remember when I first instilled that bond between us?"

He nodded.

"What did it feel like?"

Dick frowned, his chin on his fist and she had to fight the urge to the do the exact same thing, "It felt like…it felt like someone or something had jumped into me. I froze for a few seconds, I didn't really know what was going on but…it was like someone else was watching me." He shook his head, "I remember being creeped out and…violated." He threw her a look but she shrugged, she knew how he felt about it in the past and though she was indignant before, it was nothing now, "The fact that you could feel what you were feeling and vice versa isn't normal and me being me, I was very wary about the abnormal."

"Crude," Raven smiled, though she felt it slip away as soon as it was put away, "but very descriptive and very precise. It is exactly like that and my initial purpose of instilling the bond was to see through your perceptions and to share my strength and—at that particular moment—my sanity. Except now…"

Dick pursed his lips and she felt it when e finally understood, "It's getting stronger, isn't it? And it's not supposed to? Or you didn't know about these particular consequences."

Right at that moment of clear, precise realisation, she felt—and she knew that he felt—a jolt pulse from the bond, almost as if it was signalling to them that it was aware of their consciousness and now that it didn't have to hide anymore, it was working harder than ever to make it stronger, firmer and more robust. There seemed to be an underlying sense of slyness to it but there was no menace at all. It all seemed innocent enough on the surface, but she knew that even Dick—probably especially him—knew how much the bond was going to hurt and how much it was going to affect them as two individual persons.

The pulse increased as he reached out to her, as if trying to figure out to what extent this bond's limits went. It suddenly solidified and stretched as he pulled his hand away from her. The bond had non-physical properties but it didn't mean that it didn't feel real or solid and the way that it still felt fluid while feeling utterly concrete bothered Raven; it was as if the malleable properties of the bond was a live and was trying to trick her into thinking that she had control over the bond because…she didn't…not really.

"What's going on, Raven?"

Raven twirled a piece of stray hair in front of her face and murmured random words to herself before finally looking him in the eye and finding herself eerily looking at an almost doppelganger of her own aura, "Your intermeshing theory was correct but its more than that." She paused, trying to figure out what the right words would be, "But it's more than that, way more than that. It's like…we're not merely intermeshing—if we were to intermesh, we would still be accounted for as individuals—but we are becoming…_one_. Not physically, as those cases are rare, but mentally and this may be even more dangerous than if we were to be joined physically; at least that way we would still have two minds but…but in this case? I am losing my identity to you and you are losing it to me…we are becoming one identity, one mind…one—dare I say it?—_soul_." She bit her lip as his own gaze grew sharper by the minute, "Can't you feel it? Doesn't my every action invite you—no, compel you—to do the same? Don't you feel my emotions as raw as they would be yours? This is not supposed to happen, Dick, we are supposed to feel and identify each other but not to this extent! Not like…Dick," Raven stopped, pulling her gaze upwards, "I don't know what to do…"

She almost regretted telling him about it, but then decided not to as it was the right thing to do. It made an immense impact on Dick and she felt how his chest clenched at her confession; you could hear a pin drop in the total silence that they were both submerged in. Raven noticed how he was clenching and unclenching his fists in frustration and she felt his thoughts buzzing in her own brain, though none were so clear as to actually tell her what his thoughts actually were.

"Well, we're in trouble, aren't we?" He shook his head, disbelief running through his systems wildly, "Is there any way to reverse this?"

"There is…and it's in process." She spoke shortly.

He grimaced, his hands reaching out to his brow ridge, "Is that the reason why you broke up with Gar?"

"Partly." Raven stopped, her hands in front of his face, "I mean…we had issues but yes, admittedly, yes your presence provoked our break up even more." Her mouth was moving but she couldn't hear any words come out, "He doesn't know about it though. I didn't tell him and he…he didn't need to know. He has too much on his mind already." She knew that he noticed how her fingers kept interlocking haphazardly with each other.

"Why'd you do it? What do I have to do with the bond? I mean…it's not interfering with anything, is it?"

"No. More like…more like my relationship with Gar was interfering with the bond." She sighed, and cupped her hands as if she was expecting something, "I…we were—you and I, I mean—were both intensely in love with our partners and…and that feeling we shared? The love? It was too similar and even before that we were already bonding with each other tightly. I loved Garfield almost as much as you loved Kori and that love was identical, almost like we reached that particular stage at the same time." Her fingers interlocked once more to show Dick how it was, "The only way that we could've stopped—if not, slowed down—the bond was if one of us stopped loving in that way. It didn't have to be that we stopped loving a particular person in that way—no—we just had to…we just had to stop loving." She smiled, a ghost of a smile, and for a moment there, she knew that he thought that it was almost beautiful, "I _couldn't _ask you to do it…not after your what happened with Barbara and after the way you and Kors broke it off and I…I knew it was time for us anyway because of what Garfield's got in his hands right now. I just…"

She left her sentence hanging and looked up into Dick's crystal blue eyes. For once, they weren't hard and yet the softness that she saw was as familiar as the way his brows furrowed every time he was faced with a dilemma. It was hard to look away when you knew that you were looking at someone who looked almost exactly the same as you do, expressing emotions that were yours and yet weren't. Her mind was confused on whether or not she was looking into a mirror, and she had to pinch herself from entering Dick's mind and embracing them as her own. She didn't want that; not now, not _ever_.

Suddenly, she felt a twitch and she knew that it came from Dick. His expression became steel once more and it almost hurt to feel at his aura.

"But there was another way, wasn't there? You took the noble way instead of the selfish one." He sounded angry, well, almost angry, and his tone pierced through her ice-cold skin harshly.

Raven glared at him defiantly, angered that he could take such offense, "I did what you always do. I took the high road. At least," she growled, "at least I took the road that you would've taken before all…_this_."

"Raven I…"

"I know, OK, I know…we're talking about me and not you…but it involves you too, you know! I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want us to break apart more than we've already done and so yes, sue me if I did the noble thing instead of the thing that would've pleased me most." Raven exclaimed pointedly at him, "Look at what you've chosen and look where it's _gotten_ us!"

His emotions jumped back a little, but not so much that she thought he was frightened. No, he was just getting ready to prepare himself for whatever was going to come. He was just getting ready for her tirade, and for his defence, if need be.

"So what was the other way?"

She exhaled deeply, "It is ancient, as the techniques of the bond is, and dangerous if not done the right way. It's deep, dark complicated magic that might render you, me or both of us dead."

"How?"

"If I can cut it off then we will be free and we will both be able to be individuals again but…but at the same time there's a risk that one of us will feel…empty…soulless and just a…shell, because we've been attached for so long that we need that other person's emotions to fulfil us and make us feel…_alive_. Not only feel…quite literally we _need _our partner's emotions to keep us running. This in itself, though it sounds like ridiculously philosophical mumbo jumbo and utterly harmless, is extremely dangerous. Every living being has that something that keeps it running, whether it is an external factor or an internal factor and after it has become accustomed to a certain amount, it cannot keep on running until it has that particular amount fulfilled. We would've been left catatonic and no amount of life support will keep us alive."

Raven watched as he brushed his fingers through his jet-black hair, "But those are the consequences if you _do _do it right. What if you get the spell wrong? What happens then?"

"You die." She said shortly, "I might die, though it might happen long after you die since I have magical abilities."

"You're not beating around the bush then."

She raised a brow at him, "You know I never do that."

"I know."

"And you know that I stay by my decisions through thick and thin." She pointed at him, as if accusing him of thinking otherwise, "We _will _get through this. I swear by _Azar_, we will." She didn't know if she was talking about herself or about him or both.

"And if we don't? What then? What happens if despite all your efforts and all your," he took a deep breath, "_sacrifices_…we still end up as one? What happens if—?"

"It won't! I won't _let it_. I've gone through too much—_we've _gone through too much—to let it all go to waste. _I'm exhausted…._you're_ exhausted_…we're all exhausted…we can't handle _more_." Her breathing steadied as she pushed her emotions under control, "_I'm exhausted_. I just can't…we're all just messed up Dick and you know what's the worst part about it?" Raven waited for him to shake his head as she knew he would, "I can't blame _you _for it. It's like it was predestined or something and we just got so arrogant about being in control that it just…_backfired _on all of us."

There was a moment of silence before Dick piped up, "I hate growing old."

"You think?" She cracked a smile, nudging him in the ribs with her elbows, "And to think we thought teenage dramas were complicated."

He laughed; hollow, coarse and beautiful, "We were fearless back then and now…I'm scared shitless, Raven. We're never going back to how we used to be."

"No…" she laughed, it was horrible, "No, things won't go back. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I've promised."

Raven continued laughing until she felt her heart clench so hard that it hurt. It wasn't right to laugh, not now, not like this. Her cheeks felt hot and her limbs felt weak and none had anything to do with affection or passion or love; it was too alien to be any of this. Her heart pumped loudly in her ears and that tiny, almost unrecognisable, pulse in her thumb was now throbbing so hard that she didn't know what it was at first. And in the end of all that, she recognised that her cheeks were moist and she was…she was _crying_.

_Crying._

Once she realised this miserable fact, she also realised that the damned tears just wouldn't stop. They just kept going and going and going and at that point she knew that Dick was fighting back tears too.

Bitter, salty, thick tears.

Stop.

_Don't stop._

_Don't…don't…don't…_

_Please _stop_._

_Please stop_.

_Please stop._

_Please stop._

Don't stop.

Raven felt strong, robust arms encircle her and then the sensation vanished and she was one with herself. The hug was comforting, in a sense, but she wished for it to be Garfield's arms around hers, Garfield witnessing and wiping away her tears. Not Dick. She didn't feel comforted with Dick…she just felt open and vulnerable and…herself. She wanted someone to be there to tell her—from a different person's perspective—that it was OK to cry and that it was OK to breakdown in tears. Not Dick. Not Dick.

_Not Dick._

She didn't feel safe because she knew that he didn't know what to do either. He couldn't handle it as she could and vice versa. Raven felt his own tears against her head and the thud of his heart was similar to her own. Her empathic powers convulsed wildly and she recognised his hurt, his guilt, his sorrow…his love…his sadness…his emptiness. She recognised it and she fought against, fought it so hard that it hurt and that it brought on more tears. She wanted to curl up in a corner by herself, she wanted to harden herself up some more, create that barrier that she used to hold onto so strongly…but she couldn't. Not now, not like this, not when her vulnerability felt so salient and yet so…insignificant.

_Stop_.

"I just…I didn't want to lose anyone. I didn't want to lose you or Kori or Vic or…or…" her voice was hoarse and yet her throat didn't itch for water, "…I didn't want to lose Gar. I _don't _want to lose Gar. I _love _Gar…I _love _him."

He patted her hair down, awkwardly and softly, "I know you did. I know you do."

"I'm _exhausted _Dick. So exhausted." She whispered, "All I want to do is stop doing whatever I'm doing and sleep for a long, _long _time. Why doesn't it end, Dick?" Her whispers were fruitless.

She was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and for the first time in a long time, she quite literally felt it. Her bones ached and her muscles wept. She did love him. She did. She does.

"It doesn't. You know it, I know it…we just ignore it. All our efforts are fruitless when it comes to dealing with fate and even if it does work…it refuses to work in our way." Dick continued to smooth down her hair and though all she could see was the other side of the room, she knew that he was still crying; his aura was wet, "We just have to work with the leftovers and the leftovers suck, Raven."

His embrace was warm and rigid all at the same time. She wanted him to let go, she couldn't handle the emotional build up, not this way; _please let go_.

Dick continued to hold her this way, to pat her hair down in some attempt to calm her down and to calm himself down. She found her arms curling around his shoulders as his remained on hers and she felt how his shoulders finally sagged under the pressure of her feather-light arms. Both seemed to not be able to let go and yet both knew that they had to. Their minds were jumbled and their words garbled and none seemed to know what belonged with whom and for once, they didn't seem to care.

"Let's go home, Raven." He suddenly whispered, "Gimme a week and then let's go home." Raven felt his eyelids close over his blue eyes, concealing whatever scarce emotion he revealed with them, "We need to break this thing off, Raven, and I know that you can't do it here." His lips moved wordlessly, "Let's go home."

"I want to. But I can't." She closed her own eyes, "I can't break the bond off, Dick. I can't. I can't risk it." She shook her head against his shoulder, "I'm not good enough."

"You have to. You can't go on like this. I know you can't. I'm not saying you're not a strong person, Raven, I'm just saying that even strong people can be selfish." He sighed, "If you don't want to, do it for me. I want to do it. I want to do it for you. I want to do it for the team." His eyes opened again, and once again, Raven didn't see it, "I have to make amends. I don't want to, but it's the right thing to do."

She didn't say anything and he nodded, "Let's go home, Raven."

Raven felt herself nod as he let go of their embrace, his face shining with tears, his aura bitter with emotions. She didn't know why she nodded, but she did, and she left it at that as he moved away from her and back to his room, where Barbara awaited him. His presence lingered in the living room and for a minute, she thought that she could physically grasp it, though she knew that she was quite mistaken.

As soon as she saw him leave, she felt the tears stream down again, with what emotion, she wasn't so sure. She had done what she came to do here, she had gotten him to go home, but she didn't want it to happen this way, not with her being vulnerable and open. She had wanted to place the blame on him, to force him and instead, he was coming back with his own feelings quite vulnerable to her, and if this continued, to everyone else he knew. It was dangerous, and that was why she didn't want it to come to this. It was never her intention to break down like that...never with all her pride bared right down before him. Raven felt weak and yet her intuition told her that she wasn't. She felt naked and cold and still it told her that she wasn't.

It didn't matter anyway. She had realised midway through the conversation that she had lost Garfield and she couldn't get him back.

The bond would break…but it wouldn't get him back.

**A/N: Don't forget to review! See you next time!**


	19. Forgetting the questions we call home

**A/N: Pure freedom, in my opinion, does not exist. Freedom in moderation, however, is still extremely sweet and satisfying. Freedom from exams (YAY!!!!!!!!) is sometimes boring but so, so relieving.**

**I am finally not a highschool student anymore, this is pretty amazing. Soon enough I will be jetsetting off to university.**

**But for now, I have this chapter for you guys and I hope you enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it and it gave me some thing to do while I pondered on what was next without a daily routine.**

**Read and review please!**

**Chapter 19**

_So_…

T-shirts? _Check_.

Jeans? _Check_.

Toothbrush? Toothpaste? _Check_.

Communicator? _Check_.

Cologne? _Check_.

Holographic ring? _Check_.

Clean underwear? _Ummm_…

Garfield shoved his hands into his sports bag in search of clean underwear, and was relieved to find that he did, indeed, pack a couple pairs of clean underwear. As disgusting as everyone thought he was, clean underwear was a must as even a little bit of dirt bothered him. Damned sensitive nose and all that. Remembering how forgetful he was, Garfield rummaged through his room to try to find even more clean underwear, just in case he magically lost the pairs that he had in his bag and also…also just in case he was forced to—well not really _forced to_, just…just in case he _had to_—stay in L.A for longer than a week. Just in case it was worse than everyone thought it was.

Garfield shook his head; _don't count your chicks before they hatch_.

Maybe it really wasn't bad. Maybe whatever experimental drug they were going to give was going to miraculously clear up everything and so he could go back to the life he knew and to pursue the life he always wanted. Maybe…maybe they would succeed where his parents had failed.

That was a lot of _maybes_, Garfield realised.

Another shake of the head seemed to automatically start, and he stopped himself before he started injuring his neck or something stupid like that.

As much as he liked to _carpe diem_, today his intuition wasn't so hot. He wasn't sure whether or not going away to L.A would actually hurt the team, but he knew that it would help him and today…today he needed to be selfish. And yet…

"Oi, B! You done packing, the idiots they sent from S.T.A.R Labs are getting impatient!" Garfield heard Vic's loud, booming and yet comforting voice from outside his room.

…another part of himself just wallowed in self pity and refused to leave the place that he called home and was resigned to the fact that despite everything—despite being _green_—he was going to die anyway. That part also told him that if he went away to L.A he wouldn't meet Raven ever again…which was ridiculous, because she had to come back home, right? _Right_?

"Yea, yea you metal-head. I'll be down in a sec." He yelled back, a grin plastered to his face.

Well, he wouldn't think about that now because…if he did, he knew that his ass would stay put in his room and just rot there until he was destined to…um…rot. Except…he did think about it because he knew that, since he chose this path, he was destined for a supremely hygienic and sterile clinic, naked except for those crappy robes they gave to patients and desperate for any female that was _not _in a lab coat. So, with that in thought, he had written her a note; nothing mushy, nothing static and nothing formal…just his voice written on paper and left for her to read if she wanted to…and if she found it. He had left it there on the bed for anyone to see, a tiny piece of paper with his chicken scratch scrawling on it, but he didn't know for sure if she would find it because he didn't know whether or not she would dare venture anywhere near his room without having a million memories smashed blatantly into her face.

He thought that she'd rather not have that.

Garfield zipped up his bag quickly and carefully, making sure that nothing was spilling out due to over-packing. Nothing did and so he laid the note roughly on his bed and stepped out of his room, feeling that _zoom _sensation that he felt whenever the automatic doors opened and closed; he would miss that. His footsteps thudded through the empty hallways and he noted that the Tower was probably intended for a group of heroes much larger than the current Titans, especially in their current state. Everything was empty and he wondered who had picked the décor of metal on metal on metal; it made him almost long for the sunshine and beaches of L.A until he remembered that he probably wouldn't be going out much. Institutions like S.T.A.R Labs, he knew personally, were not a friendly place with their cold demeanour and stuck-up scientists and he also knew his position would be that of a lab rat. He wasn't stupid, his parents were scientists too and they too, he thought sadly, probably saw him as a lab rat under all that love…and there was _a lot _of love.

His lips pursed on their own accord as his footsteps drew him closer to the elevator that was to bring him to the rooftop.

It was probably a good thing, then, that he had relatives in L.A, specifically a cousin. His cousin had sounded excited at the prospect of Garfield visiting him as they hadn't seen each other in what seemed to be years. Members of the Teen Titans never had much of a holiday.

The elevator made an alarmingly wrenching sound before it pushed itself up towards the roof. His fingers danced on the buttons but he never pushed them and when it finally creaked at the stop, he let them fall from the cold metal. Garfield stepped out of the doors just to be greeted by another one, and with this one he wrenched it apart as much as he could before his bags stopped him; they were heavy.

"Friend Garfield!" Garfield was thrown a couple of metres away as Kori shoved him into a pained embrace, "You are leaving?"

"Yea." He nodded.

As soon as she released him, they walked side by side as she helped him carry his luggage wither inhuman—no…she was more human than most of the people he knew—strength and he almost teared up when he saw Vic, standing there like nothing was wrong, next to a helicopter that blared its sirens aggressively, like it was an emergency of some sort. The propellers twisted constantly into a blur except for three lines. As much as he was going to miss Kori, he was going to miss Vic more.

_Way _more.

They stared at each other for a few moments, to the irritation of his companions from S.T.A.R Labs, as if no words could translate that bond that they had built upon ever since he was a little green masked bugger who just couldn't leave the older guy alone, and thank God he didn't. Both of them had wrinkles on their faces caused by the other and both had regrets that involved one another but then…then they both learnt that they really didn't know how to function without those regrets and those wrinkles. Vic was as much his blood as the pizza delivery guy was, but to Garfield, he was more than that and that…that mattered much, much more than some silly scientific value of genetics and alleles and chromosomes.

Victor Stone and Garfield Logan were brothers through and through.

It was to be expected, but it still shocked Garfield, as they embraced and he swore that he could feel the warmth of blood coursing through Vic's metallic body. It was funny how much more life he felt in Vic despite the fact that there was almost nothing organic about Vic's bodily composition. The hug was tight and it made him happy and sad and angry and confused all at the same time, and it reassured him that the friendship between them would remain when—_if_—he were to return.

"Come on Logan, we don't have all day." The helicopter pilot shouted at him.

Garfield ignored him and looked at Vic with grim determination, "Take care, Vic. I know that I'm the good-looking one from the team, but I'm sure you'll survive." He joked, his smile plastered tightly on his face.

Vic shook his head, "Nah, man, you take care. I'd make sure that you were better if I were you, I don' think I can handle Gnark's…communication skills for longer than a week."

They let go of their embrace.

"Ah, I reckon I'll be back here in no time. Don't get your butts kicked while I'm gone, yea?"

"OK, Gar, no need to get cocky." Vic's smile slipped for a moment, "But, seriously though. Take care."

"Yea, yea, I know." He grinned, gripping his friend's hand in his own, "I will. Don't you worry bout it."

"Good luck, kid."

Garfield gave him one last smile before turning his attention back to Kori. She smiled at him with that adorable smile of hers; childish and dead sexy at the same time, before she burst into tears and hugged him once more. He really didn't mind the pain, he didn't, he just minded the emotional pain she might instil in him if she hugged him for more than she was doing now.

"Friend, I will be missing you. It will be lonely here without the presence of your jokes."

He stuck his tongue out and she giggled, "I know…but hey, Kor, you've got Kole to hang out with this week…and Jinx. It won't be so bad."

"It will be as bad as it actually is, Garfield. I will miss our snack time." She sniffled.

"C'mon Kor, its only a week." He patted her back softly, "I'll be back before you say _knorfka_."

She giggled once more, "I do hope so."

Her lips touched his cheek swiftly and he noticed that it was warm. He laughed and pulled her into another hug, and she smiled. It was good to see her smile, he didn't like it when her feet touched the ground.

After all their official goodbyes, he stepped into the helicopter and strapped himself in; not too tightly and yet not too loosely. As the helicopter went up into the air, the Tower became smaller and smaller and so did his two best friends; they had become the size of a needle. He had never imagined, in his life, the Tower looking smaller than it did now to him. Sure, he had seem the Tower from a bird's eye view, quite literally, but it had never occurred to him that the Tower could shrink in size quite drastically. It looked like if someone stepped on it, the whole thing would just get squashed and collapse into pieces of dusty rubble.

Suddenly, as he pondered on the prospect of making an even _bigger _T-Tower, the man he sat next to turned to him—sunglasses and all—and smiled, "Welcome, Mr. Logan. My name is Dorian Hyde and I'll be escorting you to the S.T.A.R Labs base in Los Angeles."

It was going to be a _long_ ride.

---

Raven frowned as she noticed that her bag didn't actually have that much in it; she had been so unprepared when she had thought about coming here to Gotham to fetch Dick Grayson, which was pretty uncharacteristic of her now that she thought clearly about it. Her mind hadn't been with her in such a crucial time and she regretted it because all that she brought with her to Gotham was her heart and her heart, without her mind, didn't know what to do with all the control that was given to it and so, in just a matter of days…lost it.

Her lips pursed on their own accord as she cringed at the thought of the breakdown she experienced a week ago.

It would _never_ happen again.

By Azar, never mind the frustration she had felt as soon as that particular conversation was over, now was the time to think about home and about the fact that she had actually succeeded in bringing Dick Grayson home. Though he was the one who said it, she knew that he wasn't so pleased with his decision though when Raven was around Barbara, she knew that the former Batgirl was relieved; not happy, not sad, just…relieved that some type of burden had been lifted off her. Barbara loved Dick Grayson with all her heart but Raven knew that Dick had to have some closure after the break up with Kori before they could actually venture on a new and _healthy _relationship. Raven also knew that Dick disagreed with this and was trying to persuade Barbara to come with him to Jump City. She refused which then coerced him to give her a spare communicator that he kept with him all the time and also set up a few—read: ten or so—alarms to up the security measures in this dinky little apartment. Needless to say, Barbara had _not_ been pleased.

"Raven, are you ready to go?"

Raven frowned as she made sure that everything was secure before replying, "Um, almost done." That was a lie; she was already done.

She looked up at him and he seemed to be a little less distant than usual but not…but not as close as to that one time. She had never in her life felt the threat of the bond than that one time and she was scared because the feeling that was produced from that unity? It felt comfortable and secure and it felt like all her troubles had washed away. That feeling had set her on the edge ever since and she really didn't know what her relationship with Dick was to be from that moment on. Was she to distance herself from him? Was she to embrace their close relationship? It had been a confusing bunch of days but today it would finally end…or begin…whichever perspective one was to take.

"Are you sure you don't wanna ride on the bike back home?"

Raven frowned at him, "Dick, we've been through this how many times? Look, it's much faster for me to phase us there—along with your bike—than ride your bike all the way back to Jump. Besides, haven't you heard about this thing called the recession? Fuel is _not_ cheap."

"Point taken." He flashed her a grin and she smiled, shaking her head in mirth, "Did you tell the others that we were coming home?"

She pursed her lips, feeling the rough texture of its thin skin, "No. They don't even know where I am and I'd rather not give that away."

"Sure. Not like it'll matter anyway."

"No…not like it will." She mused.

Her mind was elsewhere and despite the fact that she was happy—well, content—that Dick was finally coming back, she wasn't sure how everyone else would receive her. Firstly, she had left without a trace and only with a small conversation with Kori and secondly, she had broken up with Garfield. The first she could deal with and the second would make things only so much more awkward than they were now but after what happened last week, she had vowed to reconcile herself to the fact that their relationship was over and that she had to put every effort back into being friends with him. It wasn't that she didn't love him anymore—of course she did!—it was just that she had decided that if she was to truly get over him and to truly help him move on, she was to act like she was moving on, even if she necessarily wasn't. It was also easier—albeit the effort put into it was much more in quantity—to pretend like everything was fine and their vague status quo between them suited her than to moan and wallow into her own pity and let everything blow up just because she couldn't handle it.

She _could_, she_ must_, she was _Raven Roth_.

Raven rubbed at her arms, still surprised at how cold it was in Gotham despite the fact that it was clearly already spring. The air didn't frost anymore but you could feel your breath wanting too, as if it longed for that ghost of a frost. Gotham didn't want to acknowledge spring and yet there was a comfort in the edges of winter that there was to be no rebirth, no change and no regrets. Winter was like that; sharp, selfish and sorrowful, though the sorrow never lasted so long before another selfish deed came up.

It was her turn to ask now, "You ready to go?"

She didn't hear his reply—she had obviously already known it—and just stood up with her bag on one shoulder. The fact that one side of her shoulder felt heavier than the other didn't really bother her, but the lack of balance did make her feel a little uneasy. Dick seemed to notice internally but he did nothing about it, and just turned to face Barbara—who was, despite approving this action, saying tearful goodbyes—and kissed her three times; once on her lips, the second on her cheek and the last on the top of her head. It was endearing in a way that Raven really couldn't deny and though it made her heart ache to watch him whisper soft words in her ears—she could hear them. Not physically of course, but…she knew what he was saying—and ignore them. She wondered whether or not Garfield would have acted like that if she had told him that she was leaving. She thought not; he would've thrown a tantrum and reasoned with his own childish reasoning that there was no reason for her to go.

"Let's do this then." Dick finally replied, his lips pursing and relaxing on their own accord, revealing so many emotions at once even without her having to interfere with the bond or her own powers.

She nodded, but then stopped before she reached the door. Her empathic powers was picking up a lot of emotions in this room, all raw and none ripe; Barbara, it seems, was taking it harder than she was letting on.

"You take care of the kid, Raven." Barbara requested though Raven knew that it was a demand. Her voice was throaty and her red locks lank, but Raven knew that Barbara was encouraging Dick, despite her appearance, "I want him back in one piece."

Once again, her head was obliged to nod, "Sure."

"I'll see you soon Babs. I promise." Dick said, smiling at her softly.

Finally, they stepped out of the apartment and ventured down the stairs to find Dick's motorbike. He had told her that he had left it in the garage of the apartment building and that they would be taking it back if it was the last thing they did. Raven has blatantly rolled her eyes at this demand but had agreed nonetheless; she didn't really care what he wanted as long as they got home.

Both their steps mirrored each other in footing, pressure and sound and they both didn't mention it because they both wanted to get it over and done with, they both wanted to salvage what was left of the other person's sanity. They also both wanted to salvage their own sanity, as selfish as that sounded, and they both wanted to go back to their boring and incessantly repetitive lives; the excitement and the spontaneity of the journey that led them there had proved to be less than fun and they wanted the fun out. They wanted their privacy back.

Raven looked around in the garage for a moment, noting that it was dirtier in the garage rather than in the apartment, despite both Barbara's and Dick's apparent lack of hygiene. The air was musty, as if clean air never exchanged places with it, and the dust dances beautifully between rays of rare sunlight. She thought it was rather enchanting that such a flaw could prove to be a haven of little rarities that brought a smile to your face. The colours were monotone, with only the vehicles interrupting with their bold and brash colours, and it created a sense of sepia in the room…a sense of calm that was caused by the fact that everything was the same. Her eyes turned to sneak a peek at Dick and she knew that he was also finding the beauty in such a dank place.

"I think I like your old R-cycle better."

From the corner of her eye, she saw the edge of his lips twitch in amusement as they paused at his bike. It was sleek, dark and beautiful and though she knew that the bike must've weighed a ton, you couldn't tell it if you just looked at it, it was designed so beautifully, so articulately that she sometimes wondered why it wasn't feather-light. Gone was the brash mish-mash of colours that represented his circus heritage and in was this nocturnal beast with its threatening glare and seductive sheen. Even the physical showed how much he had changed or evolved; the physical and the material.

He grinned at her, "This is way faster, and I don't look like I'm riding a traffic light when I'm on this."

She shrugged, understanding what he meant but still not accepting it, "Sometimes it is better to be obvious when it is done for the right reasons." Her fingers danced lightly on the smooth exterior, "Sometimes being blatant and brash can prove how true we are to ourselves."

She waited for him to reply, but to her relief and annoyance, he didn't and she was left to contemplate on what he was thinking rather than on what he said. With him almost completely immersed into her own mind, she thought that everything would gain a bit more clarity to it, but she was wrong; the fact that their minds were forced to push together made it hard for her to navigate through his thoughts and—more importantly—through her own.

Rain started pouring down; she could hear the odd _clatter-clatter _pitter-patter on the metallic garage door.

It was time to go now.

He nodded, not even needing a word from her, and moved closer towards her and his beloved bike. Her fingers moved on their own accord and her empathic powers followed, enveloping them in a blanket of emotions and of energy, drowning them in a sea of ice. Though her eyes were completely closed, she felt him shudder and noted how the hair on her arms were raised and how the energy—now completely covering them—transported them into a sort of limbo before they were to arrive at their destination. Their bodies felt light, as if they were dissipating, but she knew that for an illusion, and her mind seemed separated from her physical self, tantalisingly unrestrained and unburdened by the heavy concept of a body.

It was a blur and it was fast and all was white noise.

She had not forgotten the rain though. Nor the seductive dark bike.

Or the lank red locks.

---

It was almost good to be back in the heat again, no matter how short-lived.

L.A in itself was steaming with sweat and fame, the air wavy with heat and the palm trees looking less than refreshed. However, the inside of the building was a completely different scenario, and the people inside it looked like they had forgotten that they were living in L.A. The bodies of the doctors and scientists were static and the silver linings of the walls complemented by the fuzzy blue colour that was almost stereotypical with laboratories made him remember what he actually did remember of his time _recovering _from Sakutia all those years ago. He couldn't really remember much, actually, all he did remember was his parents walking around him in fuzzy lines and speaking but he didn't remember what they were saying.

Mr. Hyde escorted him through the corridors and he realised that the whole building smelled of heavy anaesthesia and there was a constant beeping in his ears, constantly reminding him that there were lives at stake here, and lives that were unnecessarily prolonged for the _greater good_. This was probably why—despite encouragement from his parents, and praises by his biology teacher—he never wanted to become a scientist and he had found every excuse in the world not to become one, even though he felt that that particular profession might bring him closer to his parents.

Out of the school of white-coats came one particular person stood out from the crowd and Garfield knew that in that millisecond, that man was going to turn and walk towards them. Call it intuition or primitive instincts, but he knew that the man would.

He did.

The man seemed sturdy—if that was the right word—and he wore a pair of glasses that seemed to encircle the whole crown of his head. His eyes seemed glassy and there were times where Garfield thought that he seemed out of focus, but knew that his perception was sharp. He was tall, with black hair scraped back harshly with hair gel and a white coat so impeccable that Garfield was kinda scared to touch it. This was the man that wanted to see him and Garfield thought that he looked nothing like he did in Garfield's head.

He offered his hand, his smile vague, "Welcome, Mr. Logan, to the Los Angeles branch of S.T.A.R Labs. I'm Christopher Conrad. Call me Chris." The smile got vaguer for some odd reason and Garfield gripped his hand, shaking it slowly.

"Cool. Garfield."

"Pleased to meet you." Garfield noticed that he was younger than he had thought previously and yet, there was something to be said about the experience he saw in Christopher Conrad's eyes, "I'm guessing that you know why you've been sent here for treatment?"

Garfield nodded, "Um yea—"

"Good, good. We'll talk about that later, shall we?" Garfield found himself nodding once more, not really sure what the man was talking about, and followed him when Chris started walking, "OK…firstly your accommodations are…"

For the next hour or so, Garfield found himself following Chris around the whole laboratory and finding himself amazed and intrigued about how the branch in L.A specialised in genetics and diseases—two things that he had, obviously—and how valued his parents had been at this place; Garfield vaguely remembered his parents telling him that they used to live in Los Angeles before Garfield was born. He, however, didn't know that they worked at this specific branch and was interested to find out that his parents' apparent cure for Sakutia had been the basis of all research on this vague and discreet disease; it was so rare that research had been slow, Chris had said, but it was progressing along ever since they had found out about Garfield's predicament. He groaned, Chris actually sounded _excited_.

He was actually relieved when they had left him to _rest_—whatever that _really _meant—in his room—which was basically like a prison cell, except with a TV, a really comfy bed, a mini-fridge, a huge wardrobe, wireless internet connection, a phone, the newest GameStation and a wicked sound system. But, apart from that, it was basically a prison—after Chris had basically dictated his schedule for what seemed to be the rest of his life. From what he could actually pick up from the extremely long and tightly packed schedule, he had to stay in the lab from morning until the evening with only a two hour lunch break where he was allowed access to the outside world…but only if he notified them where he was going first.

He shook his head.

His eyes found themselves on the phone—which was, also, monitored evidently. They didn't tell him but if they were going to all this trouble to keep an eye on him, why not monitor his phone too?—and wondered if he should call anyone. If these people weren't the best, and if he wasn't determined to find himself—and others—a better life, he wouldn't be here at all. He'd be on some cruise, lounging about until he finally died and rotted.

Garfield decided to call Matthew Logan.

"Hello?" Garfield let Matthew's voice fill the receiver, "Who's this?"

He smiled, "It's me, dude. Just callin' to see how you're doin'."

There was a pause on the other end, before he heard an excited squeal come from the other end, "Dude, Gar, is that seriously you? You got to L.A. OK?"

"Yea, yea. Rode a chopper all the way from Jump to here. Would've been way more awesome if I didn't have to go to some crappy lab."

"That sucks, man. Well, still, at least you go to go to the best city in the world. It's all sun and fun here, dude. I think you might seriously get kicked out if you started acting serious and shit."

Garfield laughed, "No way."

"_Way_." His cousin laughed too, it was light and not grizzly, "By the way, you thinkin' bout movin' down here anytime soon?"

"I dunno, man. I mean I'm movin out of the Tower in like half a year or somethin' but L.A…"

"Didn't you say you wanted to be an actor? Didn't you?"

"Well…yea…"

"Then you gotta move in here with me next year, man. It's like Hollywood right on your doorstep and if you don't get no jobs, I could hire you and be director!"

His fingers started tapping a tune on his thigh as he heard the enthusiasm grow in his voice, "Yea, after you graduate, you idiot. _If _you graduate, actually. How're the classes goin down' at UCLA?"

Garfield swore that he could hear Matt nod from the other side of the phone, "Same old, same old. Who listens in class anyway, not that I need to be trained. I mean look at all the kickass directors, they got no schooling for it."

"So why'd you go then, genius, if you could just learn in the field?"

Matt barked a laugh through the phone, "Like you don't know. My parents would kick my ass if I didn't go to college. Plus, how else am I gonna pay the bills if it doesn't come from my parents' pocket?"

Garfield nodded and though Matt couldn't see through the phone, he knew that Garfield agreed. As much as lazy asses go, Matt Logan was one of them, and even Garfield looked like a do-gooder compared to him. Sometimes, it was such a blessing to have a cousin this sloth-like.

"Good point."

"See." Another laugh, "Anyway, dude, gotta jet. Goin' to this awesome party and all the college babes are gonna be there."

"Lucky bastard." He replied, not sure whether he was sincere or not.

"I know right? Anyway, come by anytime dude, it'll be good to hang out and catch up."

He pursed his lips tightly before replying, "Sure thing. I'm gonna come by tomorrow, around one, yea?"

"Awesome. Anyway, gotta go!"

Then the phone went dead.

Garfield shook his head, pondering on how much he had missed Matt. They had met coincidentally in Jump City a couple of years ago and they both had no idea that they were related at all at that time. It wasn't until Matt saved his ass from some crap he wasn't gonna mention, that they both found out that they were cousins and they had been tight ever since. Matt didn't even mind that Garfield was green and could turn into any animal from the animal kingdom, Matt thought it was awesome that Garfield hung out with a bunch of chicks—his word, not Garfield's—who ran around kicking butt in spandex all day. Garfield duly noted that Matt was the first one to notice how hot Raven was before Garfield ever looked at her that way and he had asked Garfield to ask for her autograph but when Garfield tried to get it, Raven had just glared at him and he had never attempted to ever since; it just wasn't worth the risk.

Feeling how soft the bed was—it was like a gigantic marshmallow and that was an understatement—he gave in to the feeling of fatigue and lay down there for a while, his head nestled between his two palms. The ceiling was also spick and span and it left Garfield wondering whether the white walls and ceiling were intentional; to make it look more like a psych ward than ever, but he ignored this thought and tried to think about the positive…which, admittedly, was really hard. Though there were risks to using an experimental treatment, he knew that S.T.A.R Labs would have minimised as much risk as possible because they had to work with cases like him—abnormal humans or meta-humans—and just one wrong move would be fatal. He heard that they had a kryptonite surgery machine especially for Kryptonians and that they had the data on every superhero there was on Earth…which made him a bit uneasy because that meant that they also knew the true identity of every single superhero on Earth. As much as he wanted to trust them, he also knew that it was extremely easy for them to abuse the fact that they knew their secret identities.

He sighed.

Suddenly, the door opened, and in came Mr. Christopher Conrad with his sleeked back black hair and his vague smiling eyes. He had a tablet in his hand and was busy pressing stuff on it—Garfield didn't really know what he was writing or pressing—while approaching Garfield in slow, yet steady, steps. At once, he looked up from the machine in his hands and smiled at him.

"Mr. Logan." He stopped, his expression getting vaguer by the minute, "I believe that we must have a talk."

---

It was good to be back home after a week and a bit. Though she could feel that something—some element—was missing, she still took the time to caress the grey walls with her fingers and to wrap each of the emotional imprint in her room; they were fading but they were still there, like a raw, honest scent that refused to go away. She and Dick had arrived back in Jump City around fifteen minutes ago and she had phased him—and his…she wasn't actually sure what his bike was now called. The _N_-cycle? _Really?_—to the underground tunnels where it would appear that he had come back on his own accord. It was a gamble but Raven knew that it was a risk that she was willing to take; Raven wanted her life back.

Her empathic powers embraced the old strands of auras and she sighed in relief as she took in all the familiar feelings; it was good to be _home_. She had an inkling that no matter where she was going to go and no matter for how long, she was going to love this place no matter what. The T-Tower was part of herself—concrete and all—and separating it from her heart would be painful. People had always said that it wasn't the place but the memories that held attachment, but she had always figured that it was a lie; the physical being of the T-Tower itself was also part of what made her love it, with its unique exterior and its more familiar interior, the tower with all its wires and metals was part of who she was.

That didn't mean that the Tower meant more to her than the people inside it though.

Today was the day where everything was going to realign themselves to make a straight line, she thought to herself, as she slipped carefully out of her room, phasing instead of opening the door physically in order to feel the chill of the metal doors. As soon as she left her room she knew that something was different, it was intricately woven into the air, but she could feel it straight away; there was a lack of a presence and an abundance of unfamiliar ones. The unfamiliar were not so unfamiliar that they were strangers, but the presence was unfamiliar enough that it irked Raven; she knew these people but she didn't.

Her feet suddenly led her towards a familiar scene; Victor's room. As much as she missed Kori, her instincts told her that she was better off revealing her arrival to Vic first, and there were a few issues that she had to discuss with Vic. Even from a couple of feet away, she could _feel _Vic's room; the conflict of machinery versus magic had already started and both elements were vying for dominance…she just wasn't so sure which one would win out.

Still, the further she walked, the more she noticed that lack of presence, that thing thread in the air. She just didn't know _who _it belonged to and why it made her so nervous.

When she reached the front of his room, she touched the door, her fingers feeling for anything suspicious. There was nothing there except the familiar emotions of Vic and some smattering of Jinx; she was good for him, Jinx was, and Raven hoped that they would stay together for while.

She knocked.

The door opened almost instantaneously and for some reason, she wasn't surprised that Jinx was in there with him. Her cat-like eyes bored into her own, and her pink-haired head bobbed up and down slowly before she left the room with only a peck on Vic's cold, metallic cheek. Raven wasn't so sure what that was about, but she figured that she could guess. Why Jinx was in Vic's room in the first place was a bit of a mystery to Raven since, as far as Raven was concerned, Jinx didn't really live close to them.

"So. You're back."

Raven pursed her lips and took a quick glance at Vic before she replied. Though she had been away for less than a week, it seems that Vic had grown in those few days. He seemed…bigger…if that was at all possible—not only since he was already huge but also because the mechanics didn't allow him to grow any further—and her empathic powers agreed with her. It was as if Vic had forced himself to grow to fill the void of having a couple of team mates missing. It was both a good thing and a bad thing and right now, Raven saw that Victor Stone saw it more as a bad thing.

"Yes." She glanced at the way he crossed his arms in front of his chest, "I'm sorry. I just…I needed to clear my head."

He quirked a metallic brow, "For almost two weeks? Raven, You're made of stronger stuff."

"Look…I…" she frowned as she remembered that she was still outside of his room, "Can I come in? I'll explain everything…or as much as I am willing to give. Will that be OK?"

He frowned, "Fine. As long as you don't mess with my mechanics."

She threw her arms up, exasperated, but willingly agreed before stepping into his room. That was all it took. She felt the crackle of electricity in the air like a musty fog that weakened her and there was just something—she wasn't sure what—that was pushing her magic aside in favour of the technology. Raven knew that this was how it worked; the old gods of magic versus the new gods of technology…both of them didn't like the presence of the other and there was a battle of dominance every single time they encountered each other. In this case, the machinery won, though it was Raven who had willingly surrendered; she wasn't sure what happened if she held onto her magic too tightly.

She frowned, "Looks like technology won."

Vic looked almost relieved, as if he too was part of the battle, "Yea." He stopped, "So, explain yourself, kid."

"I…" she didn't like the word _kid _but at the same time she realised that Vic didn't take her absence too lightly, "I had to."

"Look, I'm all for the _you gotta do what you gotta do_…but Rae, this is just not your style. You knew that we were all goin' through a hard time when Dick left—Kori, especially—and you knew that Gar would go through a hard time and I thought that you two would be able to handle it but…"He shook his head, there was a rather ominous beeping sound in the background, "no. You two broke up; him because he was scared for you and you because…I have no idea." Another shake of the head, "I just don't get why you left, Raven. I've always thought that when the goin' gets tough you'd be the first one to try to pick up the pieces and put it all back together."

Silence wrapped around them and once more Raven was consumed with the unforgiving presence of technology. Her concentration was all on Vic but she knew that if she didn't start speaking she would start noticing how much the mechanics were affecting her.

After a long bout of silence, she finally spoke.

"I brought Nightwing back." She didn't know why but she thought that it was rather important to call him by his alias.

Raven, despite her weak powers in this room, sensed his shock, "You, what?"

"I brought him back. I went to Gotham and hauled him here." She paused, biting her lower lip, "That's why I didn't want to tell anyone where I went, especially Gar. He would've thought that I was throwing myself into an easy relationship on account of the bond. I needed Dick, but not in the way that Garfield would've thought."

"And why do you _need _him?"

She paused, "Complications. I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."

It was Vic's turn to ponder on this now and Raven could almost see quite physically how his mind was working. Like Raven, he had always went through the possibilities in a logical style except his one was due to the fact that he had that machinery embedded in his head. He wasn't fully machine but that didn't stop it affecting him.

"I promised Kori that I would get him back." Her words were low, "No, I promised her that everything would get back to normal but…evidently not. I just…I just wanted us to be a family again."

"Where's he now?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I left him underground and I presume that he's probably assumed his position back in his room. "

"Right. OK. I just hope that Kori will be able to handle him again. She's datin' again, y'know." His expression was steel, as if he was testing her.

Raven nodded, "I've heard and she told me when she called me once. Is she floating again?"

"Almost. I reckon she's getting through this all kinda fast but I guess she's dealin' with it."

"And you? Are you OK?" She asked earnestly.

"I've…I've been busy. We're setting up the trials this week; I've got Jinx, Kole and Gnark hauled up here in this hole. Three days and they're doin' pretty good." He cracked a smile, his expression softening, "I reckon Kole and Gnark's got a real chance of getting in here to replace us."

"And Jinx?"

He frowned, "Jinx…Jinx, we still need to work on. She has a temper and her actions can be rather…amoral now and again. Dunno if she really wants to join, though."

Suddenly he wrapped his arms around her and for a moment technology and magic were one and though Vic was almost all machine, his embrace was as soft and as welcome as anyone's. Even more so if she dared to say it. She missed him, she realised, she missed that comfort that she had gained in the past few years by having a father figure. The conflict of elements didn't seem so important when he held her like this.

"We've missed you, Raven. I know I seemed pissed—I was pissed, thank you very much—but I don't want to lose you as much as the others don't want to lose you." He grinned at her as he let her go from his embrace.

She smiled but her mind kept trailing the corridors. That lack of presence still bothered her, she didn't know why but it did. There was something almost wrong with it and she wanted to know why.

"You didn't ask about Gar, Raven." It was almost a question, but not quite.

Raven sighed, "I…we're friends now…I think."

He shook his head, as if he caught her lying, his grin replaced by the frown, "He left, y'know? Like, three days ago."

Then it hit her; it was Garfield's presence—or lack of it—that had bothered her so much. She had been so used to it for all these years, had embraced it fully for the past two years, and now…now that it was gone…she felt disconnected…disabled somehow. She had left him and did that cause him to leave to? Did he go in search for her? Was he hurt? Questions flew in and out of her head like a jumbled mess and she felt her own voice explode in her own head. Voices, actually, as her own subconscious—including the _other _Ravens—try to calm herself down and figure this all out logically…calmly.

"He's gone off to L.A." Vic said calmly, as if he had read her mind, "I sent him to the S.T.A.R Labs there…they deal with genetics and diseases." He closed his eyes for a brief moment, "He wanted to get better. I think, partly at least, for you."

"We broke up." She stated simply' not shocked at this revelation but finding it hard to deal with, "We broke up."

Vic sighed, closing his eyes for a longer period this time, his arms crossed in an almost protective manner. For the first time, she realised how much everything had taken a toll on Vic, and she didn't really know how to deal with the fact. He had always seemed to be on top of everything, the most balanced as he knew how to take life seriously without ending up in a constant stupor of paranoia and he knew how to enjoy life. Now, he just looked tired, and he would keep looking tired, she realised, even with them back; this was Vic's way of dealing with _it_.

Whatever _it _was.

"Yea, I know. It didn't mean he stopped though." His human eye finally opened and she finally understood, "Lovin' you, I mean."

**A/N: Like it? LOVE IT? Meh it? Review away my dear readers!**

**Ooooo...I don't like cliffhangers as much as the next person but hey, why not?**


	20. Words of the Young and Old

**A/N: I promise we have a few more chapters before this fanfic is finally (and I MEAN finally) done. This chapter, I guess, is a pivotal event that'll lead to the end. **

**Enjoy and don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 20**

"_Jesus_, Chris, how long is this going to go on for?"

Garfield grumbled as they took yet another blood sample from him with their confused faces and their constant murmurs. It was Chris, however, that he was most pissed off at because at such a crucial time as the experimental sessions, he always looked vague and far off, as if nothing could really faze him. He had been the head of the Sakutia research team, Garfield discovered, and apparently he was the smartest and most knowledgeable about Sakutia from the whole lot. The fact that it looked like Christopher Conrad knew nothing at all didn't comfort him a bit.

He was getting sick of this whole situation actually, a feeling that he thought was rather overdue. He had been stuffed into machines, strapped into other mechanics, jabbed in every spot possible in order to obtain his blood and to obtain the base virus of Sakutia to try to manipulate it in order to create an improvised version from the one his parents created. The details were shady but from the way everyone reacted around him—either really worried or really excited—the people here at S.T.A.R Labs were getting nowhere and it had already been four days. That was four days out of the seven days that he promised he would be coming back. Of course, he knew that he wouldn't be back in a week but at the same time he had been hoping that the scientists at S.T.A.R Labs had skills superior enough to at least create a crude cure, something that would, at the very least, postpone the effects once more.

But then, Garfield remembered, he was their lab rat and the lab rat was expected not to complain.

He shuffled around in his hospital gown for a few moments as he lay down on the bed and found them sticking an IV into his wrist, "Look, I've got an appointment with my cousin at lunch and it'll be great if we hurried this damn thing up." He grumbled in frustration.

Chris looked up from his tablet after a moment and smiled, "We'll be done soon, Mr. Logan. There is absolutely no chance of you missing your appointment." His smile widened, "Scientists here are a stickler for schedules, so you have nothing to worry about."

"I hope not."

A few moments of silence was overcrowded by the sounds of shuffling and beeping, constantly intruding his thoughts as he tried to think calmly about the possible positive outcomes that were to be expected…or hoped for, in the very least. The smell of disinfectant filled his nose and surprisingly, his nose didn't react badly to it, despite the strong smell, and the walls of the lab was so clean that he could see his face in half of them. He felt sorry for the janitors here; they were probably overworked by the looks of it.

The sterility made his sense of smell even stronger than before due to the monotonous smells of nothing and disinfectant. Everything was so clean here that they smelled the same and a foreign scent was detectable from a mile away; despite this being a boon to his senses, he really didn't like it.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him.

"If you can cure me of Sakutia," Garfield found Christopher's gaze even vaguer than ever, "can you change my complexion back?"

There was no sign of concentration as Christopher seemed to ponder—or not ponder—on the question. Garfield couldn't sense any rushing of the heartbeat or smell nervous sweat. Christopher Conrad smelled too clean and too…relaxed…to be a scientist. Usually, there was an air of excitement and nervousness when he was surrounded by scientists but with Chris…there seemed to be the opposite. He didn't know why but it freaked him out a little

"I suppose that is a possibility." Chris spoke slowly, "We'd have to do more genetic testing but that may be possible." The lilt in his voice made the doctor seem mischievous rather than serious, "We would see what the side effects of switching your complexion would be. If the risks are too high that we will probably not attempt it," he paused for a moment, pressing another button on his tablet, "_if _it is possible."

This got Garfield curious, "What side effects?"

"_Possible _side effects." The doctor corrected him, "Your body may be used to the green colour and may be unable to handle reverting back to _normal_." He spoke the last word in speech marks, emphasising it almost amusingly, "There is also a chance that you may die in the process since it would be the first time that we would be attempting it."

"Encouraging." He groaned.

A small, but significant pause was breathed by Christopher Conrad, "There is also the chance that it may jeopardise your morphing powers." There was no emphasis anywhere in that sentence but the lack of emphasis made Garfield even more aware and…alert.

He finally caught on to what the spaced-out doctor was talking about, "Which would be the highest risk of all."

A single nod was all it took for Garfield to find the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

He thought about it with the mindset of a scientist and truly, truly found himself disturbed by the whole concept. Similar to sickle cell anaemia, Sakutia was one of the few diseases that disfigured one's self to differentiate with other _normal _humans and rendering them weak in some aspects while—he agreed begrudgingly—also giving them an advantage that most other _normal _humans didn't have. With sickle cell anaemia, you were immune to—or at least had an advantage over—malaria while with Sakutia, you were able to morph into any living animal that roamed the Earth. Of course, others may see this as a clear disadvantage but Garfield knew—like all these scientists knew—that an ability that no one else had was always an advantage. Garfield didn't know whether they wanted him to study evolution—he guessed that they would try to get a strain of it from him that didn't have the green pigment to see if they could artificially promote punctual equilibrium into everyday people—or to used the strain on others to create weapons but he knew that if he died then they would lose a rare case. Though it isn't pure Sakutia—he had the mutated strain, they told him—it was still a miracle that he was alive and in the scientific world, miracles were there to be studied.

Just like every other person in the world, scientists were cunning. Disguised by their impossibly white lab coats and their intricate words, scientists fooled everyone to think that they were different and selfless. As a son to _two _scientists, Garfield Mark Logan knew better.

Finally Christopher looked up at him, "You are an interesting case, Mr. Logan. Rare enough that there is so little research about it and dangerous enough to pique interest from both the government and from the scientific world."

"I guess that's kind of a compliment." Far from it, Garfield thought to himself.

Christopher arched a brow at this comment, "It is so." A small, vague look was thrown at him, "It is not every day that we find a viral infection turn into a full-fledged genetic disorder. Extremely unheard of before your celebrated parents went to Africa."

Garfield pondered on this for a moment before speaking, "Is it recessive? Sakutia? Is it?"

"We have no knowing just yet," Christopher pursed his lips, humming a soft tune under his breath so only Garfield could hear it, "since most of the people who have contracted Sakutia have died." Another tune, so soft and so low, "However, it is my belief that Sakutia would be recessive, just like sickle cell anaemia is as it is so rare but then…at the same time…we haven't had a case that survived long enough to have an offspring. It is difficult to predict and by testing…_well_…as the son of the Logans, you know the risks well, I presume?"

He did know and as Christopher gently took the IV out of his wrist, he had to acknowledge that Sakutia was so rare that there wasn't that much information on it and that meant that these doctors and scientists were running blind with the cures and therapies they were throwing at him. They had no idea what to do and only had the crude notes that his parents and their assistants had created all those years ago. Garfield pitied them; however, he pitied himself more; if the scientists were running blind then what was he doing? He must have lost all senses to be here. At least he was trying, he thought blandly to himself, at least he was being proactive.

"There." Christopher said with a finality in his tone, "We are all done for this session. As you are going out I presume that I will be seeing you back in your rooms at two, sharp? Do not do anything too dangerous, Mr. Logan, and do not forget your holographic ring. You are advised to remain inconspicuous while being treated at S.T.A.R Labs."

"Thanks." Garfield gritted his teeth before leaving the room and in essence, leaving the school of other doctors alongside the ever-dreamy looking Doctor Christopher Conrad in there with them.

As fast as he possibly could, Garfield strolled out of the place, rushed to his room to grab his holographic ring and changed into normal day-to-day clothes. He looked in the mirror briefly as he put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that he didn't remember packing and found himself wondering about the guy in the mirror with the peachy skin and the blond hair.

He wasn't so sure whether he liked him or not.

Garfield raked his fingers through his hair, making sure that it didn't look like the mess he felt inside and despite the fact that he was only meeting his cousin, he was a little nervous because he was also integrating almost completely with true human society and in L.A he didn't have to be alert all the time; it was not his city to protect and he was actually allowed to relax, albeit only for two hours. He wanted to enjoy this freedom for as long as he was able to.

He brushed up a bit more and finally found the courage to stroll through the hallways that would lead him towards the door to the _outside_. The metal hallways of the building was similar to the Titans Tower in some aspects but it lacked the familiarity…the scents that made it home. It also lacked the huge windows that he was so used to seeing; here, there were barely any windows except for the accommodations…and he wasn't sure that all the accommodations had windows.

He didn't know that his illness could trap him in more ways than one.

Soon, after a lot of formalities—wearing a watch with a tracking device, locking his doors and then checking out with the security guards—he found himself outside in the sunshine and the unbearable heat. There was no wind, and whatever little there was, was only detected by the slightest ruffling of leaves. If he wasn't wearing his holographic ring, he knew that people would be able to see how his pointed green ears pricked up at the constant rushing of the people, of the laughing and of the happy atmosphere. The scent of the city was happy, sexual and full of ease and there seemed to be nothing that disturbed the atmosphere. The heat pressed upon his shoulder like a light burden, small sacrifice in exchange for what small freedom he had, and his feet felt as light as the burden upon his shoulders. People were either lounging about in nearly nothing or running indoors to bask in the glory of the air conditioner but no one he saw was walking as aimlessly as he was, his feet trying to pick themselves up every few seconds.

Feeling a little silly for looking like he was walking around without a goal, he shoved his right hand into his pocket to take out a crumpled piece of paper; delicate and fragile against his roughly calloused hands. He took a few moments looking at it and wondering where the hell he—practically a tourist in such a city—would find the apartment that his cousin lived in. It was a big city and though he had no problem with speaking to others, he did feel slightly intimidated by the sheer atmosphere, the sheer scents and sights of flamboyance that filled every corner like a decorative flowerpot. Still, he _was _running late and so he had no choice but to confront the flamboyance with as much flamboyance as he could muster.

After a few awkward conversations with a couple of people that he found strolling around the pavements, he finally found the building that held the place he was looking for. It was an O.K looking building, nothing too lavish but not too ordinary that it looked out of place in the grand city of Los Angeles. There were vines climbing up the walls prettily, as if trying to sneak into the rooms, and from what he saw of the people entering and exiting the building, the place seemed friendly. He was supposed to come a few days ago to this place but he had been exhausted by all the tests and the medication he was given and though he would've loved to meet Matt earlier, he knew that he didn't really have the strength to.

Garfield pushed the buzzer to his cousin's apartment—number _23_—and waited for Matt to pick up. After a few minutes and no answer, he kept buzzing constantly until he finally found a muffled voice from the other side of the reception.

"Um….what?" The voice called out.

Garfield grinned to himself, his fingers wringing at his ring, "Oi, you! It's Gar."

There were a few moments of silence before Garfield heard the familiar sigh of recognition, "Gar! Wait a sec, yea, I'll buzz you right up."

He did just that and Garifeld scrunched his brow up as the buzzer rang like that of an angry land lord. The door finally let him in and the cool rush of the air conditioner slapped him in the face, causing him to shudder momentarily, no matter how refreshing and relieving the cool air felt on his skin.

As soon as he got to upstairs and in front of Matt's apartment, Garfield knocked and waited patiently for his cousin to open the door and let him in. Despite how close he was with Matt, the fact that he hadn't seen him in a long time made Garfield a little nervous. So did the holographic ring, he pondered as he continued to wait, Matt had only seen Garfield wear the ring once and he wondered whether or not Matt would recognise him in peach and blond gear.

The door opened.

"Gar!"

He only had seconds to take in his cousin before Matt flung his arms around him in an attempt to show off his brotherly love to Garfield. It had been a couple of years since Garfield had actually physically seen Matt Logan, but he couldn't help but notice how familiar and how…_the same_…his cousin as despite the years. He was still—as he had always been—taller than Garfield by a few inches—well, OK, _a lot_—his brown hair was always messily perfect, he moved in the way that showed that his body was built—though not as built as his own—and he had dark brown eyes, a complete juxtaposition to his own _naturally _blue eyes. In fact, when the features were selected individually, the two seemed to not be related at all, but when seen as a whole, everyone he knew pointed out that they were an exact mirror image of each other except in the way that they were both the opposite of each other. It was complicated, but it comforted Garfield to know that there was someone out there that was guaranteed to look like him, to be his relative, and to be there when things got too tough inside the superhero circle.

He grinned, and then they both released each other from the rough embrace.

"How're you doin' man?" Matt grinned, and Garfield knew that his grin was a direct mirror image of his own, "Come in, come in. Shit, sorry my place is such a mess."

Garfield didn't need to be told twice and was greeted by a sneezing fit. Matt was right, his room _was _a mess and his nose knew it even better than his brain did. It was almost clean, maybe if he had hidden his dirty clothes better and maybe taken out expired food, maybe it would've been passable, but there really was no way of knowing just because at this rate he really couldn't imagine what the apartment would look like without all the mess.

Matt ushered him to the couch—which was, thankfully clean—and offered him a cold beer which he thanked him gratefully for.

"The place looks good. Better than I thought, man. You got a flatmate?"

Matt shook his head, taking a sip before shrugging, "Nah, man. The parents wouldn't lemme. They knew how much shit I would get in if I had someone else with me here. Plus, its easier with the _ladies_, they like to know that they're men are independent. If you know what I mean." He winked at Gar, who laughed.

"Do they know that you don't even pay your own _bills_?" He laughed even more, "God, even _I _pay my bills man, and you know how I am."

"Well, it's not like they need to know right?" He smirked, "What they don't know won't kill 'em."

He had to laugh again; Matt Logan was a _character_. Despite being around two years older than he was, sometimes Garfield felt like he was the older one and sometimes that made him feel better. It gave him a different perspective to who he is and who he was and maybe, quite possible, who he will be. Garfield knew that given half the chance and if he wasn't a superhero, he knew that he would be doing all the crazy, irresponsible things that Matt had and was still doing right now. He had been forced to learn about responsibility at _such_ an early age because he was _different_. He wondered now whether he would have ended up like Matt if he wasn't different and though it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it wasn't really a good thing either.

"So, yea, man. What's up with you? How're things goin' in Jump?"

Garfield sighed, "Not that great, Matt."

"Impossible." Matt smiled, though Garfield saw a hidden shadow behind it, "You guys are always kickin' it up like its nothin'. And you got yourself Raven, so how the hell can you look as miserable as you do now?"

"We broke up. Me and Raven. Too much shit happenin'." His brow rose, "Not kickin' it like we used to."

Matt frowned, and then patted Garfield on the back, "_Ah_, shit happens. Raven still hot as she used to be?"

Garfield grinned, punching Matt on the shoulder, "Don't talk about her like that, man…but…" he sighed, "she's still hot. Actually, no. She's _way _hotter now."

"_Awesome_." Matt exclaimed, "I cannot believe that you got to _hit_ that."

In that one second, Garfield snarled, "Seriously, dude, don't talk about her like that. She's not a piece of meat. Give her some respect; she deserves it more than you do." He felt his brows furrow deeper and deeper and knew that his fangs would be showing prominently if he wasn't wearing his ring.

The air was thick with tension as Garfield saw Matt trying to resolve the situation into one that he could handle and one that wasn't so…angsty. Garfield hadn't meant to react in that way but it was automatic, almost like a reflex that had been conditioned for the past year and a half by his relationship and inadvertently by Raven. Yet at the same time, Garfield could see that Matt had just realised something and was trying to grapple with this thing that he had just suddenly understood. There was a seriousness in his face that Garfield rarely saw and his face was a myriad of expressions and emotions; ranging from concern to amusement.

He flexed his fingers and placed his beer bottle on the coffee table. Garfield was starting to feel sick now.

Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to visit Matt.

Matt took a good, long hard look that caused Garfield to automatically sniff at the air to try to discover his cousin's scent and to try to figure out what the hell he was thinking, through that scent.

"You guys didn't sleep together did you? Two years and you didn't sleep together."

Garfield didn't say anything. He refused to say anything. There was no mocking strand in his tone of voice but Garfield suddenly felt like his age and he finally became conscious of the age gap between them and the fact that it was actually _Matt _that was older than him, and not the other way around.

Matt frowned, and to Garfield's acute eyesight, he saw the wrinkles deepen. It was subtle, but it was there and there was a sense that Matt was forcing himself to breathe slower and more fully than he normally would.

"Is it _that_ serious? Look, I know you Gar. You might hate me for this but I know that you'd jump Raven given half the chance. I'm gonna take a good guess and say that Raven would do the same at this point of the relationship." Garfield crossed his arms as Matt tried to analyse the situation. _Tried _wasn't really the right word though since he was hitting all the _right points_, "But there's somethin' stoppin' you two and whatever it is, it's serious." He paused, his index finger resting on his chin, "It's what got you at S.T.A.R Labs isn't it? Whatever this is?"

Garfield stayed silent not out of will but because he didn't know what to say. He found his throat going dry and the words ripped off his tongue. The way that Matt was looking at him was so intrusive that it bothered Garfield slightly; he had come here in hopes that it would be an oasis of light fun and protection against the serious tone that life had seemed to take on recently. It seemed that he wasn't safe from it, not even this far away from its normal location in an apartment that smelt like a party in the sunny saccharine sweetness of Los Angeles.

Slowly, reluctantly, Garfield gulped, "It's pretty bad. Nothin' I can't handle."

"But something _she _can't handle." Matt said, stating the obvious statement that Garfield didn't voice.

Another bout of silence; strained and almost beautiful.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He said finally.

"Then don't." Matt placed his own beer bottle next to Garfield's, "But you've got it _bad _for the girl and it's not helpin' you is it? It feels like you're rushin' everythin'. I dunno, I'm no expert but you said you were gonna stay in L.A for a week, right?" Garfield nodded, "Well, as I said, no expert but…_you_ know that you've gotta stay here longer. Look, I've never even _heard _'bout Sakutia before I met you but I reckon its some serious crap that you're dealin' with right now, and as far as I'm concerned, there is no miracle cure."

Garfield pursed his lips and went on to chew and nibble at the soft flesh of his lower lip. He didn't know whether or not this was really happening but due to the solidity of everything, he had to force himself to agree that this conversation he was having with his cousin was real. It still felt slightly surreal though, and it was partly because it was his _cousin _who had taken the role of the older one, the more serious one and the more responsible one.

"The minimum amount of time that I might possibly be cured in is a month…and that would be short of a miracle." He admitted begrudgingly, "I know this, the doctors know this. The only thing keeping me is that I'm only officially off leave from the Titans for a week." He sighed, "I'm not even sure whether even Vic believes that I'll be done in a month. He's smarter than that."

The scent of the room changed to that one of revelation, and Garfield's eyes suddenly caught Matt's brown ones in confusion while Matt's seemed to be twinkling with amusement. The slight upturn of his cousin's lips were never really a good sign but they were in the middle of a strange conversation and Garfield thought that anything was possible in a time like this.

"Move in with me."

The Titan froze, not sure whether his acute hearing senses heard right, "What?"

"You heard what I said, man. Move in with me." He enunciated the last sentence slowly, as if he was dealing with a foreigner.

"Yea, OK. I heard." Garfield grimaced, "What the hell? I can't move in with you! I need to be back within the week. Less, actually."

Matt smirked though that frown-shadow was still there, "Look, _dude_, we both know that your condition will get worse if you go back to Jump without proper care and we both know that you won't be cured—no offense to anyone—by the end of the week."

He saw how Matt let his words settle for a moment first before stating whatever else he had in his crazy mind.

"I know it sounds crazy, Gar, but you look like shit, man. You look so effin' miserable that it's makin' _me _miserable. You're sick and you're heartbroken. L.A might be able to fix that, man."

"_How_, you_ idiot!_? Look, you've been living here for two or three years, you can't _really _believe that L.A's glitter is real gold. I don't see how I can be happier here than in Jump." His voice felt like a bark, but he knew that it sounded nothing like it, "Really, Matt, I'd feel more like crap here. I'd be stuck in some snotty little lab with needles sticking in me and I'd have no friends."

That last sentence seemed to genuinely upset Matt, "Aw, Gar, ain't I your friend?" It was almost playful, if not for the context.

"Matt, I knew you were dumb but not this dumb. What kind of _logic _got you to think that moving to L.A would be an _awesome _solution?" His words were wrapped in salacious sarcasm, dripping thickly in numerous places, dirtying the apartment.

"Dude, _shut up_. You know I'm just tryin' to help."

"How the hell are you _helping_!?"

Matt snapped his fingers, "Its simple, OK Gar, so get it through your thick skull while I'm talkin'." He tapped at the side of his head for emphasis, "I can tell that you really wanna commit to curin' this whole Sakutia shit and that for some odd, inconceivable reason, you not bein' over Raven is holdin' you back." There was a flurry of hand movements that Garfield felt too dazed too see, "I don't got nothin' against Raven you see, but…_man_, you've gotta move on to get better. Be selfish. You know why everyone's so grumpy in the hospital? It's coz they're being selfish and thinkin' bout nothin' but themselves and they're gettin' _better_."

"C'mon Matt, that's not how it really works." Garfield groaned at his cousin's weird sense of logic.

"Yes it _is _and you know it. And you know that it'll go smoother if you stayed here in L.A permanently—or at least until you get cured—because you know that it'll b easier for you and it'll also be easier for you to transition into normal life." Matt's frown deepened, "You know that you need to move on faster than the others, Gar."

That made Garfield genuinely stop to think and for that small moment, Garfield hated Matt for this. He _did _know it actually. He knew that to be cured of something took the effort of both the doctor and the patient; if the patient was holding back, if he was worried by something else and if he wasn't putting in all his efforts into getting better, the chances of getting better was next to nil. He himself didn't believe that much in psychology but he knew that the body responded to the state of the mind and if the mind didn't really mind dying then the body would follow suit. It was strange, almost mystical, but it was real.

Garfield also knew that what Matt was saying about Raven was true. He had to move on one way or another since their final decision to break things off and to hold onto whatever crumbs there were was not the right way to go about things. He loved Raven, and he hoped that she still did too, but…but he knew that since the fates obviously thought that they were not meant to be with each other—by throwing all these stupid problems at them both—he had to make an effort to make that work. To make _not being in a relationship_ work. Raven, obviously the smarter of the two, had known this and had jet-setted off to God knew where so that she could sort her own priorities out. Garfield, despite the disease, found that his own priorities still circled around her; most of them, if not all.

He frowned and gazed into empty space for a while. The apartment was eerily silent and all he could hear was the uneven breaths of an excited and invigorated Matt Logan and he listened closely to his own heart, only to find that it had slowed in order to calm his nerves down and his own breathing seemed more relaxed than he was feeling.

So much for pathetic fallacy.

"I'll think about it." Garfield finally stated and automatically saw how Matt's face lit up, "I won't promise anythin' but I'll think about it."

Matt smiled, "Awesome."

The tense air still hung around them greedily but Garfield refused to comply.

He groaned as the air pressed on, "Damn, Matt, what the hell is wrong with your AC?" His frown shifted and his throat felt parched, "Get the rest of the beers out, Matt. I don't think I can handle this freakin' heat."

And that was that. For the rest of the hour and a half, the two talked about everything that only touched their lives lightly; girls, parties, university and the like. There was the sense that one heavy conversation topic was enough for the both of them and their bodies were both heaving with the weight of that conversation. They didn't touch anything like religion or parents or families and both felt contented at that. Not satisfied, just content and being content meant feeling hungry after only a few minutes. He knew that their pretence of not having had that conversation wouldn't last long.

It was too much and Garfield knew that Matt felt it too, so after a good bout of mindless conversation, Garfield left and promised Matt that he would meet up with him before he left for Jump once again. So, once again, he entered the blinding sun and felt its heat weigh upon his back like a comforting blanket of warmth and happiness. He, once again, found himself distracted by the sheer scents of the city and how one city could smell so friendly and so harmless despite it being such a large city. No superhero he knew of lived in Los Angeles, but that may have just been because he wasn't well informed, but from what he saw and smelled, he could understand if this particular city didn't have one. It was too darn clean for his nose and though he _knew _that there _must _be crime in _any _city on the Earth, any type of bloodshed of bad deed was disguised under the burden of life, money and sex. It wasn't the best of scents but it sure beat the hell out of the horrid scent of a burglary gone bad.

He entered S.T.A.R Labs feeling rather poignant but without one central reason and that bugged him to no end. For the past few months he was comforted by constant questions that filled his head day and day out and now that the questions were being answered by rather vague and even comical sources, he realised that he had to forget all the questions he called home; all the questions that rocked him to sleep at night and forced him to live life to the fullest. Garfield realised that all the questions that made him feel safe were parting from him physically and mentally and he knew that the answers would haunt him, hounding him until he produced new questions. Before, when he was sure of his standing in life, the questions didn't mind not being answered but now they forced him to face the truth, whatever that particular truth was. He never knew that he would hate answers so much, and resent them as he would of family enemy.

As he made his way back to his room—which, he realised, he would be called out once more to stab more pointy things into his skin—he felt his concentration glue itself on his holographic ring and found himself still amazed at the slow transformation from peach to green as he plucked it off. He was so entranced that he wasn't looking to where he was going and with an uncomfortable _thump_ he found himself bump into something.

Scratch that, he thought to himself, he had bumped into _someone_.

He looked down and found himself looking into the face of the smallest boy he had seen in a while and he seemed smaller still because he had the biggest grin Garfield had seen in his whole life time. Despite being thrown off course, the boy still obliged him a smile while rubbing at his head quite comically.

"Hey, kid. Sorry bout that."

The kid just beamed at him, "It's OK." He paused for a moment, his lower lip protruding quite adorably, "You're Beast Boy right?"

Garfield laughed and he wiggled his pointy ears for effect. The kid squealed in utter delight and Garfield had to beam back; someone had to have a heart of stone not to laugh along with this kid.

"You're funny." He pointed and revealed that the boy had no teeth on the top row except for one on each side.

Garfield crouched in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of science to take a closer look at this kid. He was a short, round kid that had brown eyes that sparkled with mischief and a laugh that tickled your insides. He also noticed that he was wearing a Spiderman costume and that the kid seemed to take delight in the way the red and blue was worn all over his body.

"Yea, but my friends don't think so." He laughed, "So, what's your name, kid?"

He rocked his body back and forth, almost as if he could listen to the rhythms that was life, "Um…" he seemed to ponder on whether to answer before giggling, "My name is Didi. Didididididididididididiididididdididi…!" He laughed at his own name, his cheeks going red.

"Hi, Didi." Garfield held out his hand for him to shake and was instead greeted by a sideways Hi-5, "I'm Garfield."

"But you're Beast Boy." He said in a confused manner.

"Well, yea, but that's my _nick_name. My real name is Garfield."

Didi nodded slowly and then seemed to get an idea, "Like the cat?" it was almost pleading.

He nodded back, biting back the pure hatred of being compared to that cartoon, "Yea, like that cat."

"Meow."

Did spent a good five minutes imitating a cat and urging Garfield to do the same, but in true cat form. As amusing as this kid was, Garfield started to wonder why there was such a young kid in S.T.A.R Labs; he didn't _look _sick but maybe he was visiting someone?

He asked.

"Didi, why are you here?"

Didi frowned for a moment, his cheeks deflating pretty quickly, before turning to him with a smile, "Didi lives here."

"You _live _here? Why?"

"Didi is…sick…so me being taken care of by uncle doctor. Mr. Doctor says that I'm a _special case_. It is…" another frown, "it is Didi's home."

So, Garfield was wrong, Didi w_as _sick and he was here because, like Garfield, he was being treated for some disease, most probably genetic or newly found. He rubbed the top of Didi's head and sighed to himself, life sometimes—no, most of the time actually—wasn't fair and kids like Didi who didn't know any better had to pay for life's amusement. Sometimes, he wondered why anyone bothered to do anything at all when everything had some sort of consequence to it. The consequences weren't always bad—sometimes they were extremely awarding—but he figured that life felt that good things were boring and the abundance of bad events was huge in comparison to the small things in life that everyone cherished.

Another question popped into his mind, "Didi…how long have you been here for?"

"Um…" he looked at his stubby fingers, "I am four years old. So…four years. I _think_." He added as an afterthought, smiling broadly.

"Four years…wait a minute! All your life?" Didi nodded, his face screwed up in the way that told Garfield that he didn't understand Garfield's predicament, "Didi, where are your parents?"

"At the house. They come here every weekend. Mummy always brings me special snacks and Daddy always brings me toys." He pointed at his costume suddenly, "I like Spiderman toys. I wanna be Spiderman when I grow up."

"That's awesome, Di. So, um…Didi…one question." Didi looked up at him questioningly, "Don't you want to go to that house? Where your parents live? I mean, then you would get special snacks and toys every day!" He added, disguising the whole point of the question.

Didi shook his head and looked at him straight in the eye. Garfield felt a chill go down his spine and had to force himself not to shudder. The kid's eyes were magnetic as they lost the mischievousness that they retained so dearly before and now was brimming with life and determination and so much vigour that it scared him to death that someone so young could posses so much power in their eyes. Garfield wanted to step back but for some reason, he felt compelled to stay there in that powerful silence, waiting for Didi to answer.

"Didi _does_ want to go home." He said finally, "But I…Didi wants to get better. I wanna get better for Mummy and Daddy but mostly…" he seemed to hesitate, "I wanna be normal. Didi wants to be big and strong when I grow up." He patted his chest but Garfield wasn't sure what this meant, "I wanna be _not sick_."

Garfield stopped before he could say anything. His words were so simple and yet they possessed so much heart that it was pretty painful to listen to. Garfield himself felt silenced by those words and held his gaze for longer than necessary.

"So Didi wants to stay here." Didi said finally, "Until Didi is better. The _best_."

"I…" Garfield started before pausing again, "You're gonna get better, kid. I promise."

"Didi knows." He nodded, "Now I am going to go to Mr. Doctor again," he broke into another smile, his toothy—or lack of teeth—grin broad and happy, "Didi will see you again?"

Garfield nodded in return, "Yea, of course. My room is number 123. Easy right?"

Didi seemed to agree and laughed, before running and waving him goodbye. As soon as he disappeared, Garfield felt himself stand up and his feet quicken their pace towards his room. He needed to think…except…he knew already what he was going to do before he was going to think about it. He had had three conversations today that struck him to heart and three of those impacted his decision. He didn't know whether it was the right decision but he knew that it was what his intuition—without reason—was leading him towards, collar and all. There was no doubt that everything that happened today had been a coincidence but that didn't mean Garfield couldn't find a strand between these coincidences, strands of thematic concerns and words. Still, even after dating Raven for all those two years, still he wasn't sure about God, but right now he knew—or at least, he _felt_—that there was some kind of higher power that was directing today and everything had been perfected, from setting to dialogue. It seemed too much of an effort to think this out and for all his _carpe diem_-ing, he knew that he had to but…but he figured that it was OK.

Today, he didn't have to think; the world could think it out for him and everything would turn out OK.

The thought lingered in his mind, repeating itself like a dull drumbeat against his skull. The journey towards his room seemed like a blur and all he remembered was picking up the phone, punching in the _right _numbers and conversing heatedly—albeit warmly—with the person on the other side of the phone. It was long and while the conversation kept going, he made a mental list of the things he had to do before the decision was finalised; mental things, physical things. It was as if his mind and body knew before him what he was going to do and just by observing the sheer speed that he did these things, he felt like they had predetermined everything for him to make it easier.

Garfield felt his mind swirl around the three people today and had to force himself to nod as everything fell into place. Puzzle pieces proved to produce and easier and more harmless sort of befuddlement.

It was then that another thought occurred to him; all sin was selfish and he had heard from someone that selfishness was the root of all sin.

So, maybe for the first time in his life, Garfield was wondering if it was worth it all and he knew that Raven—if she knew, as she would soon, what he was about to do—would conceive a sin a sin no matter how big or small and maybe…just maybe she would whisper…

_Azar_, help him.

**A/N: Another chappie, another day. This one was a tad dramatic, especially towards the end. And no, he's not going to kill himself or someone else just in case someone thought that. I like drama, but as you all know, even dramatics must come to an end. Soon, I promise.**

**Didi was actually based on a real kid I know, and yes, he has no teeth and runs amok in his spiderman costume. **

**Anyway, thanks for reading and please don't forget to review!**

**Until next time!!!!**


	21. Learning how to crawl

**Disclaimer: Have been meanign to put one up for a while but I keep forgetting. I don't own anything except the plot, I swear.**

**A/N: Back...but only for a while. I'm gonna be away in Aussieland for two weeks and a half so I won't be updating at all in those times and thus will be delaying my updating time more. **

**Just read and review, OK?**

**See you next time!**

**Chapter 21**

Not for the first time today, Raven wondered why life kept continuing despite the fact that everyday happened the same.

"Raven, _concentrate_." Cyborg's voice rang in her ears, "Double up!"

She looked around her for a moment, annoyed that the control centre of the training simulator was disguised so that she couldn't glare at Cyborg like she wanted to. Instead, Raven glanced at Jinx—who was chewing gum nonchalantly—and Jinx nodded back, as if she had the powers of telepathy. Both girl didn't much like the virtues of patience and training this early in the morning on a Monday—By Azar, she _hated _Mondays—was really pushing their impatience. By the dark aura surrounding Jinx, Raven could tell that after this was done, she would be having a good talking to with Cyborg and Raven also knew that the results would be amusing.

That little fact _did _make this task a little more enjoyable.

Jinx smacked her lips loudly and smirked, small strands of pink ringlets framing her pale face, "You look pissed."

Raven kept her powers opened, her fingers feeling the air for anything sinister. Though they were only simulators, the dangers were real. Cyborg had designed this training facility quite recently with the help of some of the members of S.T.A.R Labs and they had entered the data of every criminal they had ever faced; from petty pick pockets to creatures more sinister. It was sometimes traumatic to keep training against the silhouettes of those you had defeated—though barely—but the Titans knew that they had to be prepared for _anything _and to be prepared for _anything _they had to be prepared for _everything_. Still, it was pretty annoying having to fight Red X over and over again, she thought she would die of irritation if another villain felt the need to make a witty quip before they attacked the Titans.

"Stating the obvious much, Jinx?" Raven smirked back, her brow rose, "You know how Mondays are."

"Rather scathing too. Wonder what got _you _on the wrong side of the bed." Jinx stated, her voice smooth, almost a whisper despite the loud volume of her voice.

Strands of her dark powers curled over the fake buildings, anticipating for something or someone to come out and shout _BOO!_ so that she could toss him out and get it over and done with. It was, actually, all she could do to ignore Jinx's question. Jinx, probably due to Cyborg, knew all about what was happening with her—in exception to the bond—and why she was so pissed off and despite the fact that Jinx didn't look like much of a gossip, now Kole knew too and they had both been hounding her down for answers and juicy bits. Raven scoffed, _juicy bits_, more like no bits at all.

Suddenly, something moved, too quick for the eye to see, but Raven could sense the trace that it had left on the ground. Though she knew Jinx couldn't see it nor feel it, Jinx seemed to understand Raven's stony expression and prepared herself for the battle stance. It might still be a long time before they—whoever _they _were—showed up, but preparing oneself was essential because—like most people—villains knew that an element of surprise was one of the quickest ways to take advantage of a situation. Even simulated ones knew that surprise, was at times, best.

"_Left_." Raven sent to Jinx's mind and by the smirk that curled even more, Jinx understood it.

Raven was right, the attack had come from the left and both of them directed their powers towards their left. Raven could sense Jinx's bad luck mantras at the basis of her own powers to twist and manipulate them for—for lack of better word—evil. Her powers no longer felt pure enough to be her own, but the twist caused it to double its effectiveness and…and it would be dangerous if it were directed towards themselves. Jinx and Raven, however, knew what they were doing, and so this _mimic _of Red X—despite all the twisting and turning of an _excellent_ gymnast—was struggling against it but it was failing miserably, just like they had planned.

Raven smiled; as much as Raven used to be irritated by Jinx the Villain, she had to admit that Jinx the Amoral was pretty decent when fighting side by side.

"So!" Raven shouted upwards, "How's that for teamwork?"

The simulation of the city suddenly disappeared, pixels shrinking and turning so that all was left was a simple metallic dome, nothing interesting and yet intriguing in its own way. As the pieces started to disappear, she saw how Cyborg was smiling and clapping simultaneously, a grin spread wide across his lips.

"That was great! I knew combining you two would be a good idea!"

The half-demon rolled her eyes at the witch and both laughed at the idea that it was Cyborg that had suggested such a move. No matter how much Cyborg admitted, both girls knew that it was them who had orchestrated the whole strategy, due to common sense and common roots. Neither girls minded though and Jinx demonstrated this by blowing him a kiss.

"Cy, get us out of here. I need a shower." Jinx suggested none too subtly.

The mechanic man reddened on half of his face, coughing to hide his embarrassment and his delight. Raven mused at this before pondering on other such topics, making sure that she had gotten around to the situation. Despite Nightwing's return—or maybe because of it—Cyborg was still—and continuously so—in charge of the current Teen Titans and Nightwing, so unlike himself, had taken a backseat to the whole leadership business. From the way that Nightwing and Cyborg constantly exchanged glances, they had made an agreement with each other and from the tug that Raven felt from the bond, Nightwing felt frustrated by the whole situation but…relieved at the same time. She presumed that he was just glad that he had been accepted back by the whole team and hadn't been shunned like he thought he would have been.

Then there was Starfire, Raven continued to think slowly, she had been pretty apprehensive about the whole situation, delighted at his return but also still full of pent up anger at the way that they had ended. Raven knew that they hadn't really talked about it—even though both parties were now dating someone else—from the tension—sexual and otherwise—that was emanating so much from them that it didn't take an empath to get clued in on what was going on. There was still some feeling between them but mostly it was confusion; both weren't expecting something like this and both didn't know how to handle it…or whether or not they wanted to.

The two girls walked out the dorm and into the brightly lit corridors, their footsteps quiet, almost nonexistent, both silent in a way that was neither comfortable nor uneasy; it was both their ways and though they had been on different sides when they had first met, it was easy to tell that these two had similar tempers in varying degrees. If people were walking behind them though, they would notice the slight differences, so small that they were almost unnoticeable; the way Jinx slid her foot as she walked, the way Raven had sure footing wherever she went and the way Raven's body was stock still as she moved and Jinx's swayed ever so slightly, seducing whoever was behind her in a non-obvious way. Jinx was like that, in a way, and it distinctly differentiated her from Raven; there was always something sensual with the way Jinx moved, almost as if she were taunting you to invite her bad luck, and almost like she thought that manipulation and sensuality went hand in hand. Raven, on the other hand, was no-nonsense and direct; her powers didn't need to manipulate a situation for another situation to happen, they were direct and straightforward and did what she wanted them to do.

It was a wonder that they got along _at all_.

"You _do _know what day it is today, don't you?" Jinx asked.

Raven frowned, not wanting to know what she was implying, "It's Monday."

"Oh, come of it, Raven," her lips twisted, "we both know what today is. You nervous?"

She rolled her eyes in reply, "_One_, I _don't _like what you're implying and," Raven paused fingering the soft fabric of her head, "_two_, no, I am _not _nervous."

"Well then, _stupid_, start getting nervous because it's going to start soon." Jinx frowned, "At least being nervous means that you're anticipating his arrival." She blew a strand of pink hair from her face, "I mean, he's coming around at 12, didn't he say? Said that he needed to do something important. I bet it's something to do with you, Raven." Jinx suggested, her smirk becoming more and more Cheshire-like than ever.

"Why would it? We're done. Finished." Raven in haled deeply, "We're _friends_."

Jinx threw her a look, moving away from her slightly as they continued to walk the halls, "_Liar_. You and him cannot be _friends_. It's a _joke_." She bit back.

Raven paused at that for a moment, shaking her head. She was trying, she really was, and the past four days didn't seem as bad as the beginning of their break up. Her heart still clenched at the mention of his name and she still worried constantly about him but…but life was going smoother than she had anticipated. There were just so many changes going around that Raven didn't really know how to handle it and so her mind seemed to push her feelings for Beast Boy downwards a bit so that she could accommodate all the change that was happening in the external environment. Soon, it felt good—and comfortable—to wake up alone in one's own bedroom. She felt secure reading a book on her lonesome and her thoughts didn't dwell on one person anymore and she had made time for herself and herself only. It was an awkward process and though the feelings were still there, she knew that she was slipping quite smoothly into what she thought was a comfortable independence.

"Not friends then," she corrected herself, smoothly setting it up so that Jinx would be calmer, "not lovers nor are we just mere acquaintances." She paused, "I don't know what we are but we're not…together. We made our decision and we are to stick to it."

It was Jinx's turn to pause and Raven's empathic powers filled in the silence by wrapping itself delicately around Jinx's emotions, feeding Raven's own powers while intertwining her own feelings into Jinx's.

"How long are you going to stay not friends and not lovers?"

Raven frowned, "Until we both sort ourselves out." The answer was blunt and sharp and yet it was vague enough to elude anyone, even the sharpest of minds, and Jinx was pretty sharp.

"And why couldn't you guys have worked out whatever crap you guys are working out, together? Wouldn't it be easier? Wouldn't it solve everything faster?"

Her mind suddenly rushed towards what she was facing, what Beast Boy was facing and immediately she knew why they couldn't handle it together. Both of them were too volatile, whether emotionally or in terms of their prowess, and this volatility didn't let them try to calm everything down together. It was either individually or none at all and Raven knew that they had both chosen themselves over each other. Would it have been alright for two people to stay in the relationship knowing that they would choose themselves instead of each other in a snap. Yet…

"It would've messed everything up." She stated immediately, "Our problems weren't to be taken lightly."

"It would've made the burden lighter though." Jinx noted and then fell silent.

…at the same time, their decisions weren't all that selfish. While trying to make themselves get better, both Raven and Beast Boy simultaneously made that decision to protect each other form any harm. Though Beast Boy never—and will never—knew her own reasons for their break up, she knew his and knew that the reasons why _he _had broken up with her was that so she wouldn't contract Sakutia and he would get better and _be _better. Their decisions had been both selfish and selfless and yet they had both come out form a common thread; love. Love for oneself and love for that very person that was neither lover nor friend nor family and was…_all_.

Her empathic tentacles suddenly stood on their ends, indicating that someone else in the corridor apart from Raven and Jinx. Her head turned almost as swiftly and she did a sharp intake as she realised who it was. All it took was a rush of reddish-pink curls and a couple of giggles to throw Raven off course; Kole knew how to do that sometimes, it was how she was so good with Gnarrk.

"Girls!" Kole squealed, throwing her arms around Raven and Jinx's shoulders, "You were great back there. I was so nervous for you guys!"

She squeezed them so tightly together that Raven felt her head smash into Jinx's. Both girls rolled their eyes at her enthusiasm though Raven was secretly pleased that her powers were so appreciated. It was nice to see some positive light shone on what was thought to be such a dark and powerful ability.

"It was just a simulator, Kole. No need to get so excited about it." Raven smiled as Kole pouted.

The pout didn't last that long and she attempted to ruffle Raven's head, consequently pulling off her hood to reveal her newly cropped hair; it was short, almost like a boy's and even shorter than she used to have it, but the girls had reassured her that it was a good look on her and that it was something different and _new_. She hadn't known what to make of that but she graciously accepted, hoping that her new haircut was some kind of sign.

There was something strange with it though, and though she knew it was a physical feeling, she couldn't help but feel that something was lost and yet it felt lighter, like she didn't know that she had all that weight atop her head. She could move more but she missed it…there was something beautiful and impacting about having one's hair grow while you were experiencing many different things, it was like a record of what had happened in the past.

Her fingers felt at her own hair as Kole smiled at them both, "Yea, I know, but it was still pretty cool. Gnarrk and I keep getting our butts kicked by the machine. Ooooo," she squirmed, "I'm so glad Garfield's coming back today, we need our laughs! We haven't had time to relax for…well…forever!"

Suddenly, Raven felt both Kole and Jinx freeze with Kole's emotions emanating guilt and anxiety like there was no tomorrow. Raven herself felt her chakra flash and sting, and her hand automatically went up to it to rub it down as if any physical contact could actually calm the stings that came with the glittering of the red chakra.

Raven looked back, a couple of feet away from them due to stopping later, cringing as she heard Kole's apologetic voice, "I…Raven…I'm so sorry I didn't mean to…"

Raven sighed. Jinx was behind her and she felt how the misfortune caster had gripped onto her own powers so quickly. She knew it was because she was afraid that Raven would go into a rage and quite possibly blow up the place and that if that happened, Jinx would be able to manipulate the situation with her abilities so that no harm would come to her. Natural selection—_survival of the fittest_—Garfield had told her what it was once when they were discussing his assignments; she had thought of it as such a barbaric concept, that people and animals had to fight each other in order to find a place in their current society but lately, she had been changing her mind; these things were not done consciously, they were automatic reflexes implanted in the minds due to years and years of evolution, and for people like her—people who were _different_—the urge was even stronger than of those who weren't _special_.

She pursed her lips for a moment, before forcefully cracking a smile, "It's OK, Kole." She felt the smile transition into a genuine one, "We're not together anymore and it would be stupid to blow things up just because of a break."

"But…I really didn't."

"Save it, Kole. If I say it's OK, it's OK."She turned to Jinx as if to reassure her of the same issue too, "Kole's got a point, I haven't seen Garfield in a while and it wouldn't be so bad to have his cheesy jokes back here."

They both looked at her uncertainly, their emotions mirroring each other with concern and distress. It hadn't really been a lie, really, when she said she was fine with it. She had already known that she _had _to face Garfield sooner or later and though she would rather it be the latter; she knew that the sooner they met, the sooner they found some sort of compromise on where each of their position were to be in each other's lives. To be honest, she was curious too; she wanted to know how he was dealing with it all, and if he was—for lack of better word—suffering just as she was.

So, with that out of the way, they continue to talk for a while as they stalked the corridors, but Raven noticed that in all that time, none of them touched on the subject of Garfield ever again. Kole went on and on and on about her _maybe _date with Jericho—_Joseph_, he had told Raven once and for some reason she had a feeling that only a select few, not including Kole, knew his real name—tonight and Jinx ranted on about how Vic really didn't know how to be in a relationship and how Jinx had to do _everything_. All Raven did was nod and listen and she begun to realise that she missed the company of other girls and that she wanted to talk to Kori soon, to soothe her worries away, but the time would come soon, it just wasn't now; Kori was having her own troubles and dilemmas and Raven really didn't want to add to that burden.

After a while, Raven found herself in front of her room, and as she made her excuses and promised to meet them when it came to lunch, she pushed into the metal door of her room and slid comfortably inside. The room was cooler than it was this morning but the atmosphere was still the same; tense and nervous but relaxed, a jumble of juxtapositions stuffed all in one dark room. Intricate trinkets laced her shelves alongside the books she cherished so much and yet there really wasn't that much apart from that; just a bed and a wardrobe, she didn't even own a laptop like the others did due to the magical items she had in here. It was OK though, there were always much better, simpler and more personal ways of communication other than the use of the laptop.

Raven flung herself on the bed, appreciating the softness of a good mattress before turning to a pile of books she had collected on top of her bedside table. She scowled as she picked one up, remembering that she had read all these books page per page, not skipping a single word and she had memorised all the words like she had vowed to do. She knew that if she didn't break the bond properly, either Dick or her would die—or both, really—and even though she had been to the After-world and back once, she was pretty scared of dying. Maybe not of dying, _really,_ just of the absence of life. Once she was released of the duty sent by her father, once she had started new relationships and renewed others, she had started to realise that there were a lot of things to do in one's life, and it was that person's duty to do as much of it as possible with the people you love. She wanted to fulfil her duty and to do that, she had to live.

The progression to life, however, was quite tiring.

Once she had done her research, as much as she could handle, she had discovered that what was a complicated process was even more complication when done outside theory. It was even harder because there was no possible way for her to practise as when used on anyone or anything else, it would be completely useless. Raven was just hoping that all her efforts would pay off and it would work and they would all—everyone, not just her and Dick—would be free of this mess that their lives have created for them. The ropes would break free…or at the very least, they would loosen and everyone would be able to breathe easier, and to pick the rest of the ropes apart by themselves. Their hands would be calloused but their lungs would thank them for it, she thought, almost pleased with herself.

Raven picked up two of the books carefully, holding it with a light and steady hand so that the ancient texts wouldn't fall apart. She stood up and walked towards the door before briefly pushing the button so that it would open. Once again she was back into the open corridors, gazing at the magnificent of Jump City through the large windows that Dick had Vic install all those years ago, and once again she was still amazed that such a small city could look so large from a distance; it was _startling_.

She shook her head, no need to get distracted now; she had to go find Dick Grayson.

Dick was most probably in his room, but her bond told her otherwise as she was tugged violently in one direction, the direction that did _not _lead her to his room. Her feet dragged across steal and she felt annoyed at the strength of the bond, not angered anymore, merely annoyed. It stopped her feeling like she was doing things privately, and her thought felt interrupted by his thoughts. He felt annoyed too, but—surprisingly enough—he was more at peace with it, and that was now a whole different level, one that she dreaded to think about. It was OK though—or she tried to convince herself—her hard work would pay off and it would—or so her bond told her—start off nicely in the kitchen.

The automatic doors opened for her quickly, as if it was one of those adventure video games, and Raven started to wonder about the kitchen. It seemed that lately, the kitchen was not only a place to eat, but also _the _place that hosted the most dramatic of conversations despite the fact that there was a security camera installed in this place, microphone and all. The words _food for thought _were used quite literally and a lot; Raven could sense every piece of aura here with every type of emotion, and she had an inkling that it had nothing to do with the food in here.

Her thoughts came to a sudden halt as other thoughts flooded in.

And there was Dick Grayson.

His back was turned away from Raven and he was hunching over the dinner table, his movements incoherent to those of someone enjoying food. Instead, it seemed like he was just thinking, like what she—and most of the other original Teen Titans—had succumbed to doing, and in the most melancholic way at that, though truthfully, it was probably because he had never thought to confront Kori about their break up while she was in another relationship. He probably never thought that Kori would get into another relationship so quickly, and Raven had to laugh at this completely male, egoistic presumption that the female wouldn't get into a brand new relationship and would stay heartbroken for a long, long time. It was all she could do to not point out to him that _he _jumped into one _way _quicker than she did.

"Raven," he murmured, his back still turned away from Raven, "stop cackling maniacally to yourself and get over here."

Though she hated being commanded around, she had to admit that it was her intention to approach him in the first place.

"So, sulking are we?" Raven smirked as she pulled a chair next to him.

He grinned at her, the bags under his eyes showing clearly against his olive—yet ashy—skin, "You can talk. Ever since you got here, you haven't gone out at all."

"But I've been better…" she said slowly, hoping for some confirmation, "right?"

"Yea, you've been better. Just not _the best_." Dick smiled at her, his smile as slow as her words, "Have I been better?"

Raven thought on this slowly, picturing his face for these couple of days, taking in all the feelings she felt from the bond. Automatically, her head swung from side to side subtly, as if unsure on what to say.

"Maybe. The confrontation with Kori was awkward…" Raven bit her lip, "and I reckon it didn't help the situation one bit."

"Gotten worse, I reckon. She barely talks to me."

She shrugged, "At least she's talking to you. I mean, it _is _your fault, this whole angst-slash-tension thing that I just, for the life of me, can't push away no matter how hard I try."

"Nice, Raven. Rub it in why don't you?"

Another shrug, "Just doing my job, Dick."

Then there was silence. So inviting, like melted sugar strewn all over fresh fruit, the atmosphere was ripe and stagnant. It was the moment where one decided whether to pick the last fruit and suffer all consequences or fast for days on end. All was still also, anticipating, waiting, curious and beautiful.

"So…what was it that you wanted to see me for?" Dick asked, knowing what she had come here for.

The words flowed out like they were pre-recorded, "I've finished my research. I've analysed the risks. Anything else I can do for preparation has been done."

"And…?"

"It can be done properly—and safely—if I go through all the right procedures. I am no expert on magic, Dick, _however_…I _think_ I can do it."

Dick frowned, his chin resting upon his fist, "You _know _that _think _isn't good enough right?"

As much as she wanted to be miffed at this comment, Raven shrugged it aside. She knew what he was saying was true and one little; tiny, _minuscule _glitch could prove disastrous. Raven just hoped that she was skilful enough to get through with it. If she didn't—_Azar _forgive her—then Dick's trust would have crumbled in her hands.

"What is it that we need to do?"

"Nothing special, really." Raven mused, "Silence, concentration, darkness…since the spell would be performed at midnight…" her thoughts gathered around the list, "all the magical items I already have." She suddenly felt her face pull downwards ever so slightly, "Trust, confidence and pure, untainted willingness to release yourself from the bond. The rest will be up to me."

Dick paused, "Sounds simple. _Too _simple, Raven. I want to know the complications; I want to know what it is that _you _have to do_."_

"A deceivingly simple looking spell, that is what I must do. Every intonation must be perfect, every repertoire every placement of those incessantly specific trinkets. It is the full melding of minds, Dick, and the complete divorce. There will be no shock greater than this, I assure you. It is an implosion and an explosion all at once."

"I can handle it."

"I hope you can, because I'm not so sure about myself." Her fingers tapped absentmindedly on the dinner table, "There is, I've just remembered, one thing that we _both _must do though." She paused, giving him enough time to look at her inquiringly, "The night and day beforehand, we must find complete solitude from each other and from everyone else. There must be you and only you within that time. You are to meet no one and to communicate with no one else. This is crucial." She pressed that word so firmly that she thought she felt him cringe.

He frowned, "What for?"

"_Ab initio_." Another pause, "_Ab origine_." Despite her fluency in Latin, she felt rather nervous quoting those phrases, "We _must _go back to the beginning, to our core selves. When we go into confinement, we have to gather everything and anything that has to do with who we are at the beginning, before—even though it sounds completely impossible—and separate from the external influences." Her lips pressed together in anxiety, "Most importantly, we have to try to remember and regain who we are before the bond. We have influenced each other greatly—more so than I'm comfortable to mention—and this influence, though it may produce advantages, is what we are trying to clear ourselves from. By, at the very least, _trying _to picture ourselves as only ourselves we may be able to salvage ourselves from being thrust into a catatonic state…though this is, admittedly, still a thin chance. I cannot guarantee your life, Richard Grayson." She added, _not _as an afterthought.

Raven felt him freeze at that, and she wasn't so sure whether it was because he knew his life was going to be in danger or because of the heavy emphasis she put on his full name. It was a part of him, a brand perhaps, that just made him even more than he currently was. Without that name, perhaps Richard _Dick _Grayson would have turned out completely different, perhaps with a different name and a different history, people would not have loved him so much. Perhaps, with a different name, he would still be the same, but Raven has an inkling that that was not the case. The name was important; it was an identity that you held onto no matter what happened. It was that one thing that people reached out for when they were lost in who they were and it is the thing that they rejoiced when they found themselves victorious. Simple, simple letters that were more spellbinding than any other spell.

That moment hung in the air for a couple more seconds before he relaxed, his facial expression softening despite the morbid news that he had just gotten from her. But then again, he had probably known and well, actually, he did since she had been repeating this over and over like a broken tape player. It just hit harder this time, she assumed, and if it was hit hard enough, objects tended to dismantle.

"I'm going to miss everyone." Dick said suddenly after the long period of silence, "I am going to miss you, Raven Roth, with your sarcasm and your logic. I am going to miss Vic and his overall warmness. I am going to miss Gar for his stubbornness and bad sense of humour and…" she saw, and was slightly confused, by how his eyes clouded slightly in that moment, "I will miss Kori. I'll probably miss her the most, actually."

Raven felt genuinely surprised by this and didn't bother to conceal it.

He smiled at her, "I'll miss everything about her. How friendly she is, how open she is to everything, how she laughs and how beautiful she is." Raven quirked a brow at her, "Don't get me wrong, I _love _Babs but…" he chuckled, "you'll think it's completely corny but I'll always love Kori, no matter what. Kori may not have been my first love but she opened my eyes to a lot of things and I'll always love her, for that and for many other things."

She _had _to smile. It was one of the most heart-warming things that she had gotten him to say recently, and it made her a bit more hopeful. _This _was the Dick Grayson that Kori fell in love with and the one he hid so nicely sometimes.

"You just _had _to be sickeningly cute, didn't you?" She smirked.

He shrugged, chuckling along with her, "I try."

And there it was.

It was thin, trickling and she should've detected it from a mile off but she had been too wrapped up in the emotional discussion with Dick. It was diluted but there was something significant about it that made it unforgettable. She had known it straight off; maybe a couple of seconds late, but she had known it. She would have known it if all five senses of hers had been shut down and thrown away and she both feared and loved it.

Raven bit her lip before turning around.

Amethyst locked on green.

Someone inhaled.

She couldn't breathe.

"Hey." It was Dick who broke the ice, "You're here early."

Raven licked her lips in an attempt to force down her sudden speech impediment. Her throat felt coarse and dry and her lips felt like they were itchy and peeling. She didn't know why she suddenly felt self-conscious—her fingers had suddenly rushed to finger her own short strands—because she shouldn't be self conscious; she was over it, over him. She _needed _to be.

Garfield frowned, "I couldn't stand another long day in that freakin' lab when I could've been here. I wanted to come early anyway." He shrugged, it seemed so casual, "I heard you guys had come back and wanted to see for myself."

Her empathic powers went crazy, wanting to envelope him fully with her vines and to develop his emotions like buds and yet…she shies away from him, from wanting to know what his feelings were, and her powers obliged, though grudgingly. They had only been apart for a week and a bit and she had felt some sort of change from him. She wasn't sure whether it was purely physical—she _thought _he had grown thinner and she noticed that his hair was also shorter—but there was a change and it made her sigh in relief; she didn't know why, but it just did.

She wanted to slap herself, to _really, really _slap herself; why was she acting like an idiot with no mouth?

"Yea, we're back. Raven dragged me back here. You? You're gonna get treatment from here from now on?" Dick asked.

Garfield nodded slowly, "Probably." Was that a lie? Raven thought it was, but she wasn't so sure, her damned emotions were getting in the way, "It's good to have you guys both back." He smiled. Vague.

"Feels great to be back. As always." Dick stated sincerely, "Vic's in charge though now."

"Yea…I heard." Garfield looked quickly from Dick to Raven, and his face moved, "Say, Dick, can I borrow Raven for a sec? It won't be a while." He added as an afterthought.

Dick threw a look at Raven, asking her whether it was OK, and she nodded lamely. Confrontation was beneficial, it helped the healing process and…and it would be nice to converse with Garfield again, even if it wasn't in a romantic fashion.

"I'll see you in a sec, Dick. We still need to…straighten a few things out." Raven said, pressing a hand at his shoulder before walking out of the kitchen to have some sort of discussion with Garfield in the corridors.

It was odd, those few seconds of following Garfield into the corridor. She felt rather detached, actually, something that _maybe _she was a little proud of. Maybe she wasn't such an idiotic fool after all, maybe she did have a good head on her shoulders and was just _surprised_…yes, that's it…she was _surprised_.

He had better posture, Raven realised as he stood over her, not menacingly and yet not in such a friendly manner either, "How're you?"

"I'm OK." Raven replied shortly, feeling like this was an appropriate response.

"Well, I'm OK too…been better," he sighed, "but OK." Garfield paused for a moment, his ears twitching quickly, "I like your hair."

Raven's hand shot so suddenly to her strands that it surprised her; it wasn't that she was self consciously stroking her own hair but it was the speed that she had done it. She was unsure of the compliment though, was he joking? Was he sincere? He had always, _always _told her that he had liked her hair better long, even if—he had assured her—it wasn't the reason that he had started dating her.

"I got it cut a couple of days ago. The weather's starting to warm up." Raven shrugged, "You look…thinner."

"Meds." He grinned at her, not adding anything else to his answer.

Raven nodded and felt the silence swarm over them, threatening to throw them into an even more awkward moment. She noted how both of them were standing at least a foot apart and none of their body parts touched; it was too early and rather—though it may sound ever so slightly exaggerated—dangerous to be touching. Really, despite her nonchalance, all she wanted to do was wrap him into her embrace and kiss his sadness out of him. She wanted him to do the same, to utilise physical contact in order to help her. Her head shook on its own accord, she was stronger than this and she would prove it.

"_So_," Garfield said finally, leaning against the dull silver walls with his arms crossed, "You and Dick, eh? Never thought I'd see the day. Well, OK, I kinda did see but…"

"Your presumptions are incorrect," she snapped, "I am not so insensitive to start up a relationship only a couple of weeks after our break up, even if I liked Dick."

Garfield threw his hands up in protest, "Look, I just thought that—"

"You don't _think_, Gar. That's the problem. The _nerve_ of you—!"

He growled, "I'm sorry, OK, I'm sorry. I'm just…" he shook his head, "I dunno. I just need some headspace. It was a long flight." He looked at her square in the eye, "You two just seemed rather cosy together, and it's been going on for a while."

"Well." Raven crossed her arms too, slightly put off at where they're conversation was going, "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap. I just haven't adapted back to Jump."

"Where did you find him?"

Raven threw him a look that caused him to chuckle, "Where do you think, _genius_? I found him at Gotham."

"I feel sorry for you. Gotham's a nasty place."

She shrugged, "I feel sorry for me too." Her lips didn't feel so numb anymore, "It's pretty pathetic."

He moved as if to hold her; her hand, her shoulder, her face to comfort her, but then shrunk back as if he thought better of it. Raven felt relieved, her heart was beating too fast to be ignored if he had touched her, and she would be damned if she was broken first.

"This isn't working out, is it?" He suddenly asked, as if he hadn't known all along.

Raven had to shrug again; her shoulders had begun to ache, "No, not really. Though I think it's working out better than I thought it would."

"What? You thought I'd be crying and begging you to give me another chance?" They weren't harsh, despite the words; his tone was soft…almost like he was…like he was _begging_.

"No." She answered immediately, "I thought that we both would have been doing it."

"Maybe."

That maybe was almost as solid as a yes, and Raven took some comfort knowing that he had thought the same. She also started to wonder why, when it came to things, did no one notice that they were alone, and if they did, why did they let Raven and Garfield be alone together? Though most didn't know the whole story, they should've known enough to keep them apart. Being together with him, even if they were a feet apart with no parts touching, was still pretty electric and the electricity felt even more significant for an empathy. Memories slammed into her body like a harsh wave, and she had to do everything in her will to fight it.

Garfield brushed imaginary dust off his own shirt, "You know what, I'm gonna take a gamble and be honest."

"OK."

"I miss you." He didn't look at her when he said that, "I came down early to see how you were doin'. I'm not expecting anythin'—and I wouldn't want you to—but I miss you."

She nodded in reply; it was all she could do to stop herself from throwing herself into his arms.

"I met the most amazin' kid in S.T.A.R Labs this week." Raven didn't say anything at this sudden turn of topic, "He's lived in the place for all his life, tryin' so, _so _hard to beat the disease he has. His parents only visit him on the weekends and I doubt he has anyone his age in that place. He's doing it, though, he's getting there."

Another nod, Raven still didn't know what he was getting to.

"I'm going to learn from him." He smiled at her; soft and sad, "And I miss you. I'm going to miss you a lot."

There was something that Garfield wasn't telling her, but she didn't press him like she would've in the past. Whatever he meant, whoever this kid was, it was part of Garfield right now, and it was his choice whether to share it or not. He was older now, she could tell, even if it had only been a week or so since she had seen him, and she was glad; Garfield had found a way to grow without her. It meant that they were both finding ways to be themselves with only themselves.

She straightened up, "By _Azar_, don't start being such a sap now, Garfield. You know that you and I both don't need it. And if someone passes through they'll think I bullied you!"

"You _always _bully me. It's not like they're gonna do anythin' bout it."

"Touché." She smiled back at him, "Not like they'll care." Her smile grew into a smirk."

"Well…" Garfield said, "I think I've got to get goin'. I need to talk some things over with Vic, seeing as he's now leader and all." He mock-groaned, "God, like he doesn't have a big head already."

"Not as big as yours." She teased, "I've no idea why no one has ever called you a bobble-head."

"They love me too much." There was a look that she couldn't interpret when he said that, "Well, I'm goin' now."

He motioned to walk off, but before he did that, he leaned forward to brush the side of her head. Her hair stood on its ends and she felt every movement that his finger had followed in that brief moment; the pressure, the pause, the…everything. She pursed her lips, not daring to breathe as he did this, and it was done as soon as it had started; she didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed.

Garfield stood up straight, smiling that child-like smile, "I'll miss you."

Then he walked off into the endless corridors of the building and she had waited—like the fool that she was—until all of him had gone and she couldn't hear or feel his presence any longer. It was then that she could exhale, could relax, unlike those few minutes she shared with him that felt so stiff and…formal. He was definitely hiding something—she could feel it!—and his last words reinforced her idea; it was like he was going away where they couldn't meet but…but that was all emotionally right? He wasn't seriously thinking of moving away physically right?

Raven shook her head and re-entered the kitchen, refusing to contemplate on this. She found Dick sitting in the exact same spot in almost the exact same position. This time, however, it looked like he had been waiting for her as he faced her straight away.

"So? How was it?"

Ravens shrugged, "It went OK…then bad…then OK…then weird." She shook her head, "I can't possibly be friends with him again, the concept is ridiculous."

"It'll work out fine. Gar understand, I reckon. He knows you're hiding something and is still willing to talk to you."

"_He's _hiding something. I don't know what and I…I care but…it's none of my business."

Dick grinned at her, giving her a sarcastic thumbs up, "That's the spirit."

"You really make my day, Dick." She drawled, rolling her eyes, "I don't know how I can get through life without you."

"Never mind that, Raven. Think of yourself." Dick frowned, "When are we going to do this?"

It was Raven's turn to frown and she made no movement to sit down next to him. She was standing face to face to him but she didn't feel like sitting down. Not right now, not after her brief conversation with Garfield.

"Tomorrow we prepare."

Dick raised a brow at her, "So soon?" He brushed a strand of black hair out of his eyes.

Raven nodded.

He didn't ask why, he just nodded back at her and murmured nothing under his breath. He had put complete trust in her, and she could feel it through their bond, coursing strongly and thickly like a gushing river.

"I'll say I'm sick."

Raven nodded in agreement, "I'll say that I have family business to attend to in Azarath."

"I'm going to call Babs then. It might be the last time we speak." Dick bit his lower lip; a facial expression that wasn't seen so much on such a confident person, "Do you have a plan for when…if…it fails?"

"I have prepared a sort of…automated message to be sent out. It will be pretty obvious." Raven had to smile at the thought of her message, "They will know."

Dick cleared his throat, "Are you sure?"

She smiled at him; cold and nothing, "Of the signal? Yes?" Her insides started to churn, "For our lives?"

Raven thought about everything that had happened in the Tower, everything she had experienced with her friends, with her family. All the disasters, the joy, the strange and the normal…she had experienced it all and they had all been beautiful experiences. Precious, fragile and rare. She held onto them in her chest.

"No."


	22. The bonds that make us, break us

**Disclaimed: Geez, I get it. I don't own it.**

**A/N: Almost there, the ficcie is almost done and I'm trying my hardest to make it as satisfactory an ending as possible. **

**Sorry for the long wait, BTW, been enjoying my holiday here in Aussieland. And sorry for it being so short, I thought it would be more impacting this way than a long-drawn one.  
**

**Anyway, enjoy and don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 22**

She felt no peace at all despite the quiet of her room. The candles were lit in their proper positions and incense filled the thin air, causing it to turn heady and heavy; she could hardly _breathe_. There was no real time to think of such things though, her lungs just had to adapt to the sudden, almost solid, air and both her body and her mind just had to…to wait.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Today was the day and she had to loosen the knot that she had tied up in the back of her mind. As that knot loosened, she became more and more aware of _his _presence and she knew that it was the same with him too; there was no turning back now, not after what they had been through and it had to be done before the inevitable. Her fingers tinkered with the gold plate of the candle holders and she wondered, once again, whether she was strong enough—strong _willed _enough—to go through such a procedure. Instantly, she crossed that though—that insecurity—out of her mind and concentrated on herself and herself only; if the deed was done for the sake of another, it would fail. Being purely, purely selfish was not as easy as some had thought it to be and Raven—having had a great education, probably better than anyone she knew personally—had done the mistake of thinking it so…thinking that it was easy and that if others could do it, then so could she.

Raven pursed her lips and thought about the day that she had had that particular conversation with Garfield; it was also, she realized, most probably the last day that she would see her friends—_family_—ever again. The worst part of it was that she couldn't even look any of them in the eye and say her farewells…she lied and that was the end of it; Kori had wished her a good luck in dealing with her business in Azarath, the other two girls had fussed over her, Vic had frowned but told her that she had to _get her ass back ASAP_ and Garfield…

She smoothed her hand over the air in order to make one of the incense's smoke twirl in a particular pattern. A small detail, but important.

…well…he had smiled at her wryly, shook her hand and then told her to remember what he had said previously. Raven hadn't really known what to make of it, she just…she just stood there in front of him, nodding her head off. It was probably not the best reaction.

She sighed.

Darkness continued to envelope the room in a somber manner and the dim glow emanating from the candles tried to soothe her mind as she took one final look at the crumbling book she was basing this whole spell on. It was ancient and smelled distinctively of the old—not that she had anything against the old—and the age of it forced her to handle it with a feather light touch, despite wanting to severely damage it; kick it around a few times, light it on fire, and then scatter the ashes in a place none of the dead could rest. She _hated_ it.

OK, so the book really wasn't the issue but it was adding coal to the already burning fire of frustration that was steadily growing larger and far more menacing than before. She didn't know why neither hers nor Dick's head had exploded by now.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Concentrate now Raven, she told herself, no need to ramble on nonsensically like someone in need of some psychiatric help. Her mind buzzed helplessly as she watched the shapes of incense-smoke fill the air and her lungs protested at the amount of it.

She closed her eyes.

Her legs were perfectly crossed and her lips uttered wordless mantras; wordless because sound would destroy the process but still…the silent words were fully formed on her lips because they were _vital_. It didn't matter that there was no sound anyway; as complicated as this Azarathian spell was—damn her ancestry!—she could feel the power at every delicate movement and the taste of it—no matter how dark the combination of demon powers and ancient Azarathian magic turned out to be—was sublime. It was subtle and light and yet…yet it felt like she could bite into her words and it would break into juicy pieces to quench her thirst. The fact that she remembered how cutting a mantra like this improperly—even this particular one which was only supposed to fill the air with…_something_. She wasn't really sure what it was…the details were pretty sketchy— was pretty dangerous was the only thing stopping her from stopping short with her words; sometimes her powers scared her and…especially when her powers felt _so good_ to use.

As she slowly mouthed her words to a stop, she wondered, not for the last time, whether it was the right time to pull Dick into her room and perform the divorce. And not for the last time, she decided to wait a bit more since her research had led her to believe that when the time was right, she would _feel it_. Normally, in any other given situation, she would huff in cynicism at such an instruction but right now? She didn't think that she could do anything _but _follow instructions word for word.

Her feelings were obviously mixed about the whole situation that she had put herself in. The bond, the upcoming absence of a bond, the team and…and Garfield, all those things—_only _those things—had been circulating her mind as of late; she had even forgotten about her college—part time, thank God, or she would never be able to get anything done, despite it being longer than the full time one—assignments and Raven had always, _always _made sure that school and education was her top priority. Somewhere along the line, Azar or fate or her own subconscious had decided that she had to _shuffle around _those priorities in order to solve some new ones; it really, really, really infuriated her.

Suddenly, she noticed that there really was no sound around her, a pin drop could be heard in her room and she wasn't sure whether it was really because it was just quiet or because she had finally, _finally _woven an intricate enough barrier that would set the atmosphere to perfection and would also disable any physical contact from the outside world. Her finger traced the air curiously; it was so strong that Raven was pretty sure that only an emergency would enable either her or Dick to make contact with the outside world before the procedure was done.

It was time, she soon realized, and with all her might, she pulled in Dick from his room, dragging him with her empathic ropes, and immersing with him for one last moment before they were to pull away. His form was heavy, and dragging others through solid walls was no easy feat, but she did it, and _boy _did it drain her.

Her eyes opened in a flash, knowing exactly where Dick was in accordance to where she was. He was about a breath away, facing her in the same crossed leg position, sitting calmly in the middle of the circle of candles. Not for one moment did his eyes open in panic or did his heart start to palpitate wildly; he was as calm and serene as the atmosphere, almost like he was one with it. His lips were curled in an awkward sort of smile and all marks…all _wrinkles _and _worry lines_ had been erased in order to make way for a clean slate. Dick was as ready as he would ever be, and it took only one look at him to understand that she had to be ready for him too.

Dick opened his eyes.

She pursed her lips.

"So, is it time?" He asked, tranquility dripping from his every word.

Raven nodded and unlit the candles one by one.

---

"Anyone smell that?" Garfield asked, sniffing at the air.

Everyone else shook their heads, scrutinizing him and asking him whether or not he was feeling OK. They all knew about his decision and though they were obviously upset about it, the others had also known that it was the right thing for him to do. It _was _the right thing to do…it _was_.

He shook his head as the doubts started to creep into his brain once more. He was an impulsive creature by nature, but even his impulsion stepped back with decisions as large and significant as this.

Garfield wasn't so sure what to make of the scent that he could smell from outside his room but, _man_, it was pretty powerful. He wasn't so sure how to describe it but it was pungent and sticky and it made him shudder all over. To be quite honest, it scared him a little, despite the fact that he knew for a fact that the smell was neither ill nor good…it was just _there_.

He shook his head once more.

"Friend, are you OK? You do not look so well?" Kori asked sincerely, patting him on the shoulder.

He shrugged, "I'm OK I guess...just wish Raven and Dick could be here, y'know?" He shrugged again, "I mean, I probably won't be seein' those two in a while…"

Kori threw her arms around him, almost pushing him onto the bed he was sitting on, "Do not fret, Garfield, I believe that we all will see each other soon and as for Raven…" she shook her head, ringlets flailing around wildly, "I still do not know why you two have done the breaking up, but I respect your choices. I do, however, believe that it is best for you and her to be coming back together however…I guess that it would be all the more harder since you are really doing this."

Garfield let his gaze trace the room and found his hear sinking at the emptiness of it all. Posters had been torn off, shelves and cupboards had been emptied and stuffed into boxes and even his bed didn't have it's sheets anymore; it was just a mattress. His fingers pressed into the surface and found no comfort in the smell of his normal sheets, the smell of familiarity and routine.

He was done.

Sensing that someone was looking at him intently, Garfield looked up and found Vic—standing—looking down at him while having an arm absentmindedly around Jinx's wispy waist. They were the only ones there; Kori, Jinx, Vic and himself…he didn't really feel comfortable with Kole and Gnarrk around in this intimate farewell; they were good friends and all but it felt awkward, even if they _did _know where and why he was going.

"Second thoughts?" Vic's voice broke his reverie.

He shook his head, "Nah." His decision had been made quite a while ago.

Vic 's brow thrust upwards.

"Will miss it though." He added, just in case Vic felt offended at his lack of hesitation.

His best friend threw him a wry grin and Garfield felt his heart cajole once more in his chest, his fingers automatically moving towards his chest as if to calm down the physical movement. It brought him back to the day where he had met Matt and Didi simultaneously, and how his decision had been automatically made that very same day. It hadn't actually been anything Matt said—though there were some elements that he begrudgingly had to admit was true—rather, it was more Didi's spirit and…well…his own selfishness; he _wanted _to get better…he wanted to be _free_.

It was lousy and clichéd but he had made his decision already; he was moving to L.A today.

Garfield bit his lower lip.

"Did I get all the papers done, Vic?"

Vic smiled and nodded vigorously, "Everythin' official is done and dusted. If there's anythin' you've missed, I'll just sort it out later. Don't worry bout any of that, OK? Just leave that shit up to me."

"Thanks, dude. 'Ppreciate it."

"You _know_…" Jinx's voice suddenly popped up, "I may be in the minority but, _boy_, I think you should wait."

Another brow was raised, this time it was Garfield's. He had known Jinx for quite a bit and though they weren't the best of friends, he had thought of Jinx as a pretty good friend, especially one that loved Vic as sincerely as she did. Good friends as they were, he had always figured that they had boundaries that neither of them had crossed—he shrugged—looks like they had crossed it a long time ago; he had once thought that hell would freeze over before he really, _really_ listened to Jinx's advice or…Jinx in general, actually.

Hey! Don't look at him like that! She _was_ a criminal before all this!

Jinx frowned, her lips pursing and releasing in a strange manner, her fingers tracing Vic's arm absentmindedly, "Of course, I have no idea what happened with you and Raven but knowing her…she still likes you and—"

"I know that, Jinx, I swear—"

"_And_," she frowned, signaling him to not interrupt, "I think she'd want you to wait. Sure she says that she's moving on and it's the best for both of you and that she supports you in every way despite your weird status quo…but…" her lips were pursed so thin that there was almost nothing left of her already thin lips, "I _know _that she'll want you to wait. So…just wait a little while…she'll be back from Azarath in a few days and so don't be in such a rush. She'll want to know, y'know."

Garfield felt all the words he was going to say before that last sentence get stuck in his throat and press back down into his stomach. He couldn't say the words that he was about to say…or at the very least, he had forgotten then. He wanted to follow Jinx's advice…_really_…but…

"I can't, Jinx. I just can't." His lips felt dry and though licking them wasn't the brightest of ideas, he did it anyway, "I've made a commitment and I'm sticking to it."

Jinx shrugged, her cat-like eyes squinting at her, "You made a commitment to Raven."

"And I'm sorry that I broke it but it wasn't all me, Jinx, you know that."

The air stank of nerves and impatience and every other emotion possible; he wanted to be rid of the smell but he couldn't really do anything about it since the air around was so still and so stagnant. Any movement would have been welcome in order to rid some emotions out of his nostrils, but no one moved, not even a twitch.

Everything was still.

Jinx didn't reply, though he saw scorn in her eyes. From the corner of his own, he saw Vic lean in to whisper into his girlfriend's ears and despite the fact that Garfield—with his pointy green ears…they had to be good for something, right?—knew every single word that was uttered by his best friend to the enchantress—something about calming down and not ruining the situation further?—he felt his cheeks get hot. It wasn't that he was embarrassed by his best friend's PDA—OK, he was…even though it technically wasn't PDA—it was just that he didn't have anyone to do that with; pretend to whisper important crap when actually trying to convince her to sneak out of a serious and or awkward situation to go fool around somewhere. Utterly unromantic and a past time filled with hormones—particularly his testosterone. Could he blame it on primal needs? There _was_ such a thing as mating season, y'know—but he still missed it.

He growled.

"We're right behind you, OK, kid? J, here, was just looking out for you." Vic smiled, worry burnishing his scent as he glanced at Jinx for half a second, "You're gonna get better. L.A is good for you. All that sun and shit."

"Right, sun is gonna cure me. I should just go to a tanning salon, Vic, if that was all I needed." He snorted in disgust, fingering the handle for the suitcase that held all of his clothes and most of his small possessions, "I don't know if I'll be back, OK? It'll probably be better if we never saw each other again. Logically."

Kori squealed in distress, "What are you saying, friend Garfield? You are never for logical propositions!" She huffed, her arms locking into a cross, "And I for one will not allow it." Pursing her lips, she hugged him once more and for a second there, he thought that she was crying, "We will be visiting you if you do not visit us. I do not care if you are too _busy _being cured of this _Sakutia_," she started sternly, "if we do not meet, I will hunt you down and make you the—how do you say it?—_kersplat_!" She shrugged, her lips pursing in a half smile, "Do you comprehend this, friend?"

Garfield _had _to grin; Kori was nothing if not protective and possessive of her friends. He liked that, it made him feel like he was worth something other than being a Titan; he was worth keeping as a friend. He had to keep that in mind when he was back in S.T.A.R Labs; Doctor Conrad told him that positive thoughts would help him get better; it was a sort of body and mind thing, some sort of psychobabble that he wanted to believe in. It was worth a try, after all.

As much as he loved his friends, though, he found what Jinx had told him a couple of moments before niggling away at him. He was doing all this—moving away, officially signing off his post early from the team, going through painful experiments—in order to fulfill his selfish need to get cured and it was selfish and that had always been his goal ever since he had spoken to Didi but…

The four friends continued to talk for a while and it flowed between light and heavy conversations in a volatile manner, though no one commented on that little fact. Hugs were exchanged and compassionate looks were shared but no one mentioned how big the room seemed now that it was all cleaned out; he thought that it looked as if it was twice the size of his room in S.T.A.R Labs now.

…but Jinx was right in that it was kind of unfair on Raven. Sure they were on a break and sure they hadn't really talked to each other—except for that one time when he had just come back—but they still had this _thing _that had lasted for almost two years. _Jesus_, two years was a pretty long time for someone who was green and short and could turn into animals. They had even loved each other, still did—at least he did on his side—and she had the right to know—did she? He wasn't so good with these post-relationship relationships seeing as one of those girls was dead and the other one studying economics in France—where and why he was going, just as Jinx had said. Maybe he _should _wait?

He sighed.

Stretching his arms upwards awkwardly, he threw them a smile, "Guys, can I have a moment please? I mean my ride doesn't come for another hour or so and I wanna just sit here, like, alone." He paused, "Is that OK?"

"Yea, sure man. Take your time." Vic said, throwing him a smile back.

They left, almost too quickly, but he threw that thought out of his mind. Scrambling through his luggage, he tried to find the items that he needed.

Garfield Logan had work to do.

---

It was all dark and it was all space.

Her fingers tried to find some sort of solid object to relieve her of the anxiety she was currently feeling, but no such thing happened. All she could be sure of was this chanting, so familiar that it irked her.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Was that her voice?

She didn't remember speaking, she didn't remember what she had been doing before…by _Azar_…she didn't really remember much.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Was that her voice again? Did she sound like that? Why was she chanting, if that really was her voice?

She touched her lips to see if they were moving and found that they were…but no sound was emanating form them. The chanting…the voice…was coming from an entirely different place.

It was her voice though, right? She had to recognize her own voice…

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

…right?

Raven scrambled around for some memories of what had happened, she had no recollection of anything significant happening prior to the dark and that scared her; nothingness was more of a trap than anything, and the lack of anything made her ever more cautious. She wanted to hide…but where? Where was she to hide if there was nothing and everything at the same time?

That thought alerted her for half a second.

Hide? Why was she supposed to hide? Was there something…?

What was she hiding from?

She floated—was that the right word? It didn't feel right but she couldn't find any other that fit—through the nothingness, trying to find solid land that could comfort her, but she found none. Her arms felt heavy, and she wanted to push away all the effort needed to keep herself up, but she was too scared of the consequences. What if she fell? It felt like there was nothing up nor down but maybe there was some sort of gravity here…she wasn't so sure…

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

What was she to do?

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Suddenly, she felt something tug her at the waist, dragging her towards a particular spot. Her heart thumped out of her ribcage, doing ridiculous flips and hurtles as she was continuously dragged. Her fingers tried to fumble at the invisible rope that held her but they failed and she was left flailing around limply, not capable of controlling her own limbs; she was tired all of a sudden, and unsurprisingly, she had no energy to fight the tiredness away.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Suddenly, there was a door—was it a door?—and light streamed through the cracks. The light wasn't clear though, not sharp like light usually is…but fuzzy and blended…almost hazy like smoke except…except she was so sure that it was light; there was almost no doubt about it. Raven reached out to open it, her hands almost reaching the rusty knob to turn it and revel in that hazy light…but the rope refused, and she was pulled back violently, hair flailing everywhere, limbs trailing behind her as the pull grew ever more violent and ever more aggressive. The grip on her dainty waist grew tighter, squeezing her insides and crushing her ribs, her chest moving all the more faster in order to get more air.

She had completely lost control.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Finally, she realized as her palms explored her surroundings, finally there was solid ground. The rope had released her and she felt her own breath wheeze in delight. She could go to the door now…she could! Her body felt weak and she knew that she had bruises all over and it would be quite impossible to lift herself up and walk but…but… she could crawl…and she had a feeling that if she wanted to get out of wherever she was now, she would have to go out of that door.

Raven had a sudden urge to bite her lips down but she couldn't as they continued to move and mouth their silent words. She couldn't stop them; it was like they had been embedded in her mind and that something bad would happen if she stopped uttering those words…those silent, silent words.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

A crunching sound was emitted from her chest and her hands frantically clutched at her breasts as if her ribs would fall apart to reveal the fragility of her heart. It was then that she realized that she was completely naked; bare of any clothing and cold…so cold. The hairs on her skin prickled with each movement she made towards the door and the ground welcomed the touch of her skin by grazing her knees until they were sore; skin peeling off delicately to reveal trickling ribbons of dark red blood. She groaned as her legs tried to keep up with her overreaching arms and she squinted her eyes, hoping it was just exhaustion making the door seem like it was going further and further away from her reach. Her breath felt heavy and her chest heaved slower and slower, as if it could no longer handle the alien air that was in this dark space.

She had to reach that door.

Raven licked her lips and found them to be cracked, and she hit the realization that she was dehydrating. It may have been minutes that she had spent here, but it felt like hours, and her body agreed. The moving door had now stopped but she had an inkling that it had done so because it had sensed that she was too tired to keep on moving but…

She inhaled.

Exhaled.

…she would show them…show _it_. She would get to that door, open it and jump through. She would. She could.

The door, Raven noticed, seemed to be getting a bit closer now, luring her in. This caused some confusion in her, but her body refused to listen, and she struggled towards it; nails and knees exuding beautiful red ribbons. The door kept coming closer now, slowly and surely, and she had to pause to admire it. There really was nothing so special about it, but something in her mind urged her to gaze at the smooth texture of the wood in awe and gasp in appreciation of that rusty, brass knob. Her hands shook as they reached out, and her knees sang in relief as she took those shaky steps to stand up. She licked her lips once more as she carefully turned the knob and breathed in once more before she pushed the door open.

That was her first mistake.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

The air on the other side sucked her in, pulling her with the invisible tentacles and she instantly buckled to the floor, her hands clutching at her throat, urging for the air to not escape. She fell on her back as something pulled at her stomach and it grabbed onto something in her abdomen, pulling and pulling and pulling until it grabbed onto one finally thread and plucked it out. She choked, coughing and coughing and her hands flailed wildly, trying so hard to grab whatever it was that the hands had taken, her body urging for it back.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Her arms clutched at her stomach tightly and she looked down, as if expecting a hole right around where her belly button was. She couldn't find any and she couldn't think of a reason why; she felt so empty, so cold, so…alone. Something had been cut off from her and she wanted it back. She wanted it back…she _needed _it back.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Raven clawed at the air, screaming and fighting her conscience to wrestle her _something_ out of those things and back into her. Her lungs felt like they were going to collapse if she didn't get it back. She needed it back. She needed it back.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

All of a sudden, something grabbed at her, and to her surprise and horror, it was a rope. Her ankles tried to wrestle their way out but it was to no avail as yet another thick rope twirled itself around her other ankle. Soon it began attacking her other joints; her elbows, her wrists, her knees, her ankles. Her torso was also vulnerable and they attached to her like old ivy vines; securing her body tightly and so she could not even move even if she wanted to, even her neck was secured; tightly, but not too tight that she couldn't breathe. Only here eyes were free to move, and even then, small pieces of rope found themselves on her face, twirling it around so that she couldn't see.

It was all dark.

She had lost that something.

She had lost any movement.

_Azarath…Vasma Metrion… Insep… Phazmatis… Mens Cor… Vinces…_

Something had gone wrong, she found herself thinking, half remembering the cause of all this, something had gone wrong and the door had not turned into a cure.

It had turned into a trap.

Raven Roth was trapped.

She was trapped in the dark.

---

Matt's place wasn't as bad as he had previously thought, and the guest room was to his liking. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't home—just yet—but it would do. He unpacked his belongings as he mused at what he could do with the room to make himself feel ore comfortable and found himself thinking about asking matt whether or not it would be appropriate for him to paint it green, and to get green sheets and…and…

Garfield shook his head; this was not Titans Tower.

Matt had welcomed him with open arms, and had not—surprisingly—mentioned anything about his illness, or about how things would change since he was staying here now. It made Garfield feel comforted, like he wasn't budging into Matt's life suddenly and that it had been part of some grand master plan that he had always been planning to move in with Matt.

This was, of course a lie, but still…it made Garfield Logan feel better.

He was tired, he realized, and he sat on the edge of the bed, pondering at the comforts of a single bed compared to his double bed back in Jump City, and found himself testing it out by laying down on it. It was new and hadn't been broken it, but he knew that he wouldn't really mind; the uncomfortable factor may even put his mind off several other things that he didn't really feel like pondering about. Sometimes, it was easier to forget and distract oneself on whether or not he should jump on the bed to make things more comfortable.

Sometimes.

It was then, of course, when it made him remember what he had done before his final walk out of the Tower. It may have been a silly thing to do because, she may never actually find it, but—like the comforts of distraction—it made him ever so slightly better just by doing it. He had read and reread it until his eyes bled and he was sure that one short note would ease his discomforts…and it did…momentarily. Of course, like he had previously mentioned, there was the factor of whether or not she would actually find it; he had placed it on top of his bed, plain for all eyes to see, and he had written clearly on top of the folded piece of paper _Raven_ just in case there were any doubts on who it was for.

Of course, of course, it depended on whether or not she actually entered his room.

She probably wouldn't.

He sighed, and threw his stuff on the floor, kicking his clothes gently into separate categories.

He had to forget and concentrate on himself; that was his life now.

**A/N: Don't forget to review! See you soon!**


	23. Grains of sand in broken glass

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. End of. The plot is mine though. MUAHAHAHAHAHAA....!**

**A/N: Sorry it took a while. Also, hope you guys liked the way I did the chappie, it was pretty new but I kinda like it. **

**Don't forget to read and review!**

**PS. Anyone here completely LOVING Rob Thomas' "Her diamonds"? So tres amazingggg.**

**Chapter 23**

His eyes flashed open, blue crystals glowing fiercely in the dark.

His chest heaved and hollowed constantly, making way for the beat of his heart to try to pump oxygen back into him as he gasped and gawped for air. His fingers clawed at nothing, reaching out for his chest, thumping with his fist, to keep it moving and to keep it moving faster. His skin was cold…_so cold_…but—as he fingered the thin skin at his stomach—it was the only comfort he had while beads of sweat dripped down like the soft sheen of laminating plastic. His eyes squeezed shut as he felt bile crawl slowly up his throat, forcing its way up his inner pink-y flesh and his cheeks sagged as he retched down his front; nothing of substance came out, just watery yellow and brown mess that streaked the T-shirt he didn't remember wearing. The inside of his mouth tasted disgusting now, and he used the back of his hand to wipe the rest of the bile and vomit off his mouth, chin and neck. It was stiff, he realised after a while, it was as if he hadn't used his hands in a while and they had forgotten how to move. His fingers didn't seem to want to cooperate with him when he urged them to move and his neck creaked slowly as he turned it.

Dick Grayson blinked twice and his eyesight slowly cleared from the watery mess it was before.

As soon as he could see properly once more, it came rushing back at him like a cement block thrown at his face; he remembered every single detail of what he went through. His nails dug into his palm and he wasn't sure whether or not he bled from it but it didn't matter, what he went through before was far more painful, the most pain he had ever experienced in his life and it probably would stay with him longer than he wanted it too.

It hurt.

The insides of him swirled and continued doing so, finding no substance to swirl against; it was empty…he was empty. He clutched his stomach, hoping to find something physically in there, but couldn't and he groaned, whispering to himself words of wants and needs. The other presence, the presence of that other person, had disappeared and now he couldn't rely on the bond for a crutch anymore and though he knew he should be happy, his insides protested as they struggled to walk on their own two feet, finding their way without her presence, her emotions.

Raven.

Raven.

Suddenly, something clicked.

Raven.

His eyes focused in front of him, relieved that he was still in the same position as he was before; face to face with Raven, but he was worried when he realised that she was not breathing, or if she was, he could not detect it. She didn't look dead—though her pallor was definitely a shadier grey than it usually was—and even though her hands were cold when he touched her, there was that hint of warmth that told him she wasn't that, she was only close to it. He panicked as he grabbed hold of her shoulders; panicked because he didn't know what to do, and panicked because he had lost the ability that could find out what exactly was wrong with her. Her lips had taken on a dark purple colour and she remained still in her position—that once mirrored his before he moved—still and calm and serene…but there was something about the line of her mouth that seemed to find the concept of any calmness in her right now as being pure drivel. He didn't know if she had gone through the exact same thing as he did, but if it was anything like his, he knew that she was hurting and in so much pain that such a lineless expression on her face should be impossible.

Dick tried everything in his power to wake her and when that failed, he did only what he thought was best; he uncurled her fingers, straightened her legs, flattened her back and pulled her out of the circle of candles as if it was a savage horde of flames, his own body falling like jelly as if he was physically hurt. He laid her gently—or as gently as his weak arms were capable of—on her bed with her legs straight and her arms straight beside her.

She did not move from that position.

He pressed a couple of fingers at her chest, hoping for a heartbeat and he found one. It was small, too weak to sustain her already fragile body for too long, and he knew that if he was not quick about finding help, she might not survive. Except…except he found himself not knowing what to do; it was odd, he was _Dick Grayson_…he was _Nightwing_…he _always _knew what to do.

Maybe he did know but his body refused to comply and he found himself kneeling beside her bed with his fingers lamely trying to sustain that heartbeat. It was small, a mere flutter, but he had to keep it moving.

His eyes moved from Raven to the circle that they had been in and he saw the candles lighting themselves up one by one, as if some magical, delicate hand were relighting them for another ceremony. It was so fast that his eyes hurt and he was so mesmerised by the movement that he had forgotten that it was completely unnatural for candles to light up on their own; he just had to watch.

The candles lit up one by one, their orange flames burning brightly, dancing eerily to the sound of silent music. Their tips elongated subtly and if Dick wasn't so mesmerised by them, he would have missed this tiny action that fire was able to do, but usually, individually and not all together, as if it was synchronised and planned in some sort of mystical way. The smell of incense filled his nose and he groaned as the tantalising scents spun his mind in a million different ways.

Something was wrong, something was very wrong.

He tried to remember what had happened before the procedure, words that had been exchanged, actions that had been made, but he couldn't and it was as if someone had been messing with his mind or like his mind hadn't been exercised in a while. But that was ridiculous, wasn't it? The procedure had only gone on for a couple of minutes, hours at most. It moved slower than he remembered, but at least it was moving.

The flaming tips were long now and the smoke produced was even longer, smooth clean lines that twirled together to form a spiral, with a pointed top heading towards the roof, like an upside down spinning top. He left Raven for a while and as he moved closer, he realised that the smoke was a dark black colour, almost polluted but not as when he tried to cut the smoke lines, the lines deterred.

The lights suddenly shut down and a flash of bright light roared through the windows for half a second before settling down to become a dark, dingy purple. Screeches of pain were heard and Dick had to shut his ears to stop them from bleeding as the screams continued on and on and on.

His eyes moved quickly from the smoke-y circle to Raven and back again.

Something had gone very, very wrong.

This was her message.

---

The flowers were beautiful and they shone compared to the diamond bracelet that he had given her. Koriand'r had always loved nature beyond anything and though diamonds were indeed a thing of nature, there was nothing more pleasant that the smell of roses or the slight wilt of the petals. The bouquet in her hands didn't disappoint as they had everything from cultured flowers such as roses, carnations and sunflowers—her favourite, personally—to lush leaves and small, almost incompetent wild flowers like daisies and baby's breath. It was like she was Mother Nature holding on to the wonders that grew on this planet called Earth, and she had to smile at the thought that even though she loved her own planet of Tamaran, it lacked these _things _called flowers and was a dusty desert with sparse plants.

She smiled up at him and he smiled back.

Kori blushed.

"So, I take it that you like it." He grinned at her, "Better than the diamonds?"

"Oh, Simon. You are strange…" She tip-toed and pressed her lips gently against his cheek; he was taller than her, "but…I do love the flowers. These are the tiger lilies, no?" She asked, pointing to the pointy orange flower that glowed amongst the others.

Once again, she had to smile. It was a beautiful day, so perfect for this human ceremony called the "date" and she was immersed in its every proclamation of love and affection. She had gone out with Simon Bellman yesterday but he had, once again coerced her into going out with him for the _n_th time this month and she was happy, happier than she had been in a while.

Where was Chace Crawford, you ask? Well, Kori decided—in a rare moment of defined logic—that since they lived far from each other—nowhere near Jump City—she was better off finding someone else. He agreed and they both conceded that they had a lovely time together; fun and frivolous but nothing serious. They were still friends to this day and she still had the—what was that Earth word?—_giggles _whenever she saw him on that television show _Gossip Girls_.

And so, she had Simon.

There was no romantic, over the top story that she would have loved—Kori had been watching too many of the _chick flicks _that female humans enjoyed so much. Kole was to blame and now that Kole had left, she had been left alone doing the watching all by herself—but it was pleasant enough. Much, much better than the arranged marriages back on Tamaran even though she had no objections against arranged marriages. They were just too…unromantic, no?

Anyway, she had met Simon when she was rushing off to a casting that she was extremely late for. Her head felt like it was going to _GAFOONK! _that day and she had to get there on time, she did not want the designers thinking that she was a _galrog_, it was just unthinkable. So, there he was, and he helped her get there on time—offering her a ride in his car—and in return, she asked—politely, in the Terran way—whether or not he would like to do the coffee afterwards. It was a good coffee-date and she liked the way he blushed as red as his hair when he was embarrassed and he liked her accent and so they did the hitting off.

There really was not a day that she had not, at the very least, talked to him.

His smile grew larger at the sight of her smile.

"So, where are we venturing, Simon?"

He grinned, "I'm taking you to the best bakery Jump has. My best friend's the head baker so he told us we could get free cakes."

"Oooo!" She squealed in delight, squeezing his arm, "I do love the cakes. They are a delicious form of confectionery. I am so glad that you have done the forcing of me to go out with you today."

"I knew you'd like it."

Kori beamed up at him, "I cannot wait to devour the delicious cakes. Do you think that your friend puts the—um…what the word?—the icing on them? They do make it even more delicious than usual…"

He nodded and she squealed. There was the fuzzy feeling that she felt in all nine of her stomachs—humans only had one, wasn't that peculiar?—and it grew each day that she spent with this human called Simon; he made those—she pursed her lips—_fuzzies_, as Kole once described them. Maybe she was finally peeling away the adolescent love that she kept for years, but she was not so sure yet, and so she was still with him, to find out whether or not he would be the one that she would love and keep loving for years to come.

"So, Kors, are you OK with walking? Coz the bakery is only a couple of blocks from here and the weather seems perfect and…" his words trailed off and the blush of his skin touched his rough red waves.

"You are the most silliest person I have met in this country, Simon." She blushed a bit, thrilled at the flush of his skin, "Of course I am fine with the walking, who would complain about enjoying such fine weather? Really, if I had singing abilities I would be doing the singing of my heart out!"

He leaned over, kissing her lightly on the lips and so they walked; slowly and surely to enjoy their surroundings and the company of each other.

Though she wasn't sure of whether or not this thing was…real…she was sure of a lot of things. She was sure that she liked his—he had explained them to her once when she asked what they were—his freckles. She liked the way he laughed and she was definitely sure that he liked her, maybe even more than she currently liked him, she was not so sure. Kori was also sure that she liked the way he handle intimacy.

She blushed at this thought, though he didn't notice, and if he did, he let it be.

Kori had heard—and watched on those _chick flicks_—that when dating someone, along the line—a week, two weeks, a month…in her case it was three weeks—there would be a point which is called the _coming up _point. She had figured out that along the line, the other party—the male usually, though sometimes females did it too—would ask their partners if they would like to do the _coming up _into their house and this would be followed by a few of the alcoholic beverages and a night of…

She flushed red, and this time he did notice, cupping her chin in his hands, "Are you OK? You look feverish."

"Oh no. I am well, thank you." Her cheeks reddened further, "Are we almost at our destination?"

He laughed at her enthusiasm, "Almost, almost."

…it wasn't that she was scared of being seen as overtly sexual when they had done it and scare him off—humans, she had discovered, were still pretty prudent on matters like intercourse—but she had been nervous because she had never done anything of a sexual nature with anyone other than Dick Grayson. She knew it was coming and she wanted to come in, but she was still nervous. He sensed that and calmed her down, told her that it didn't matter if she didn't come in that day, that she could come in later and he would still like her. That statement in itself had made her decision and she had gone in and it had been…it had been _good_. There were no words—none in any human languages or Tamaranian—to describe how good it actually was and it was partially because of him; he hadn't rushed her and he had taken it slow. He was gentle and she enjoyed it.

"We're almost there, your feet hurt bad, honey?"

Kori stuck her tongue at and laughed, "They are fine, Simon, do not fret so much."

"Well, it'll be worth it, I promise. Jake, this guy, is a genius when it comes to—" he suddenly stopped and his gaze looked straight ahead, "What the hell is that?"

Kori followed his gaze and a feeling of dread suddenly came over her, and with that feeling, screeching sounds accompanied the thing that they were now both staring at. They were staring right at the top of the Titan's Tower, and on the roof there was the most terrifying image Kori had ever seen since Trigon's attempt to take over Raven's body and use it as a portal. The skies grew dark for a moment before turning bright once more and black lines of power intertwined with each other to create a raven, as big as she had ever seen, and its screeches were heard for miles. The wings flared from one corner of the sky to another and they were sharp to the point of pain, the beak even sharper with its loud, torturous screams.

Her hands gripped Simon's arms even harder.

The eye, though, was what she feared most; glinting red among the dark feathers, it spoke too many words to her for her to comprehend. But she understood one thing though; the date would have to be postponed.

She rounded at Simon swiftly, "Simon, I must flee. I remember that I have important business to do and…" she kissed him squarely on the mouth; fierce and full of love and she knew by the way his eyes closed for a second that he longed for more, "I must…I will be doing the calling you tonight. I promise." She pursed her lips as she pulled away, "Please do not be furious at my actions."

It was then that she ran, ran as fast as she could. She was sure that he had shouted something after her but she couldn't hear as the wind rushed past her face, forcing her red curls back behind her. The screeching noises echoed in her ears and despite the speed that she ran at—for there were a million people out there and she couldn't just up and fly—it still followed her no matter what she did. However, every other noise, every other image was tuned out of her senses and all that mattered was that she got back to the Tower as fast as she could.

Her sister was in trouble and she had to go back and save her.

The raven continued to stay atop the Tower, a symbol of desperation and death.

Koriand'r needed to go save Raven Roth.

---

Sometimes he wondered if he would still be able to do all this leadership business without being half-robot; it was exhausting to the point of insanity and he applauded Dick Grayson for not going completely insane with all the work that had to be done. He had been stuck in this room for hours sorting out things that he didn't think needed to be sorted out; since Titan's East was a new group, there really was no organisation and paper work involved but since the original Teen Titans' fame grew, so did the bills and the paperwork and the plans for the future.

Victor Stone continued to tap his fingers into the keyboard as he pondered on this, momentarily stopping to take notes down manually. Though he knew that he could have easily just typed the written down notes into his own head—it was the easiest thing in the world and even easier to be accessed. He had files in his head like the files on a computer—he liked the feeling of a pen between his metallic fingers and though the nerve and sensory systems in his body weren't perfect—the scientists at S.T.A.R Labs had tried to copy a human's nervous system perfectly but failed—just the basic feeling and outline of a pen scratching on paper was good enough for him. Despite his love and dependence on technology, he sometimes wondered why tools such as pen and pencil were underrated; personally, creating your own handwriting was as satisfying as designing new parts for the T-car.

Sigh.

Today, Vic was just doing another job on his to-do list; consider which heroes would be good enough and complementary enough to make up the new Teen Titans team. There were so many that actually applied for the job that he wasn't so sure who he would pick, and more importantly, how this made the Teen Titans look. He wasn't sure whether they wanted to join because the Teen Titans had an efficient system –more efficient, anyway, than the Justice League's. Their one was chaos due to the hundreds and hundreds of members—and a really good reputation or because they thought it was a stepping stone towards the big leagues—including groups like the Outsiders or, as always, the Justice League—and that it would be easier to get in by joining a smaller but reputable team first. It was a hard job but someone had to do it and since Dick wasn't around to help him—he had been gone for a month. In the beginning, he told everyone he was sick and was going to take sanctuary in his own room but after two weeks the rest of the team alongside Kole, Jinx and Gnnark had grown suspicious of his absence. With his skills of overriding systems such as electronic locks, Vic found out that Dick was nowhere to be found in his room—he had to go it alone. It was a good thing that he was good at sorting out people from first impressions—in exception to Jinx and a few others, he was almost never wrong—or else he wasn't so sure whether or not he would be able to do it.

The screen flashed for a moment as it changed page and the words that he typed in quickly followed suit in straight, uniform numbers that never wavered. The loud _clacking _of the keyboard continued to fill the room even after he stopped and the almost silent buzz of the computer kept him company. Technology never slept, there was only the thing called recharging.

That reminded him that he had to recharge in about half an hour or not the others might find him sitting stock still at the computer staring at nothing and doing nothing. Vic shook his head for a few seconds; he had to save the files first before he logged off.

Truthfully, Vic had already chosen a few people who he thought might be suitable for the team and had even made a list of people he should seek out. There was the current Robin—Tim Drake, was it?—who, though was not as good as Dick in terms of fighting skills—who would be? Not everyone was born an acrobatic to a Romanian circus troupe—he made up with intellect, and rumours had it that he surpassed even Dick in terms of his detective skills, which was pretty surprising. It was said that he was stiffer than Dick socially but he had made a few good friends among his old team—Young Justice—and they had told Vic that he was an extremely good leader, despite his cynicism. Vic knew that Batman would be reluctant to part with yet another Robin but Tim himself had applied and for some reason, Vic knew that he didn't see the Titans as just another stepping stone.

His human eye fuzzed up for a moment as tiredness overcame him—superficial, built in to indicate that he needed to recharge—and a grim frown formed on his face almost instantly.

There was also these two called Superboy and Wondergirl—a different Wondergirl to that of Wonderwoman's sister, Donna Troy—and though they hadn't applied to replace the current Teen Titans, they had been in the Young Justice with Robin and were among the people who recommended him to Vic. If they were anything like their older counterparts, Vic was sure that they would have an extremely strong and solid team and he mused on the thought of having a younger Trinity in the Teen Titans and whether or not that would differentiate the way they would sustain their own team when things got rough.

As Vic looked into Jericho's file—he would make a great addition to the team. But what would be the risks?—he pondered on those that he was sure wouldn't cut it. As much as he liked Kole and Gnnark, he knew that he couldn't put them in the permanent team since their ability to fight relied too much on each other and though he commended them for their team work, he couldn't imagine what they would be like separately. As for Argent and Hot Spot, they were still on trial here in the Tower but Vic knew that Argent wouldn't like leaving Britain officially.

A few more clicks and his eyes glazed over a couple of files that seemed so uniform with the others that he didn't even consider them anymore. It wasn't that he had anything against these other superheroes, it was just that he was exhausted and though he knew that many of these people had the potential to be great, he had to consider whether or not they would work well in a group or not.

Suddenly, the files stopped at Jinx's.

He sighed, biting his lower lip as he read and reread her file; he had memorised it by heart. After the time she spent in the Tower, he knew that she wasn't suited for the team and it hurt him to think that about her. She was independent, didn't like to rely on others and still—even after all these years—dabbled in criminal activity even though he told her to stop it because one of these days he wasn't going to find a loophole for her and would end up either paying a large fine or going to jail. Instead of straightening up, she had just laughed in his face and told him—with her _ways_—to forget all about it. He always regretted it afterwards, after some clear thinking, and then he would go back to the drawing board to think up new ways to convince her because really, all he wanted to do was find a home for her, someplace where she could really, really call home.

She could always stay here for another year, he pondered; since he was staying on for a year to help out the newbies but…after that…it was for Jinx and the new Titans to decide whether or not she would stay in the Tower or whether or not she would be cast out. It was not a happy thought, Vic decided.

She could also, he thought after he took a long sip out of his personal coffee mug, come with him to New York after that year was done. This would mean that he would be following Kori—though obviously for different reasons; she had her modelling career to think about—as he had been offered by his parents' old colleagues a job in the S.T.A.R Labs branch in New York that specialised in developing new technology and cybertronics. It was his field, he would instantly have a job and—since they were so generous—he would also already have a place to live; it would be like killing a lot of birds with one stone—hypothetically impossible, but you get it, right?—but still, he didn't see how Jinx would fit into all of this. She would hate going to New York, _especially _with him; if she wanted to go to New York, he could imagine her nagging him, she would find a way herself and not rely on some humongous hunk of junk to get there.

Vic could only shake his head.

Now was not the time, he realised as his arm started to beep violently, shouting at him that he must recharge or turn to stone. The bright blue of his room seemed hazier in his eyesight which told him that his alarm was ringing true and that, there was no more time to waste. As soon as he got to his _bed _he immediately plugged himself in and let himself shut down to recharge fully. The room went dark and the noise turn to quite but Vic always kept the basic senses on so that if anything were to happen, he would know and immediately take action.

Suddenly, after a few minutes, scratches were heard at his door and Vic's mechanic eye immediately turned red, alert at whatever was at his door. He unplugged his charger—frowning at how little he had actually charged up—and listened closely to the sounds beyond his door, still laying flat on the metallic piece he called his bed. The scratches sounded dangerous, followed by loud bangs that sounded like bruised fits slamming desperately into the steel doors. He lifted his heavy feet stiffly, moving slower than usual and as he neared the door, the fists continued and the scratches. Despite the fact that it was pretty obvious by the sounds that whoever was doing this was weak, the noises never relented and actually, they grew more frantic.

Vic could feel something inside him feeling rather agitated and nervous as he pressed a few buttons to unlock the door, and as the door opened, he knew that he couldn't hide his surprise.

"Vic." The other man breathed in an out, gasping our vile air as he clung onto Vic's torso,"Vic."

Vic frowned, not knowing what to do as Dick continued to cling onto him desperately, "Dick, where the hell—!?"

Dick shook his head frantically, his eyes wild and his voice empty. He didn't seem like his normal self, there was a sort of agitation and irritation in the way he moved, anger and hunger was thrown in there too but…but…what bothered Vic most was that there was fear in Dick's eyes. Fear, pure untainted fear.

"It's Raven. It's…Vic, for the love of God…Raven. She's…it's Raven."

---

He gritted his teeth as he found Matt fooling around with some girl, almost completely drunk and half naked in the couch in the apartment in the middle of the day. Sure the weather was being a complete bitch with a heat wave like this but it was no excuse for groping some girl with barely anything on—knowing Matt, he had probably coerced the girl by using the weather as an excuse—plus Garfield had already warned Matt about today.

"AGH!"

As Matt and the girl—Garfield wondered who she was, he hadn't seen her around—ran around squealing and grabbing their clothes—Matt actually had the _nerve _to throw an apologetic grin at him—Garfield wrestled Didi into his arms to make sure that his eyes were completely shut. Though Didi wriggled a bit in his arms—complaining about it suddenly becoming dark, apparently, little kids plagued with almost terminal diseases still had the chance to get scared of the dark—before calming down. By this time, Garfield had glared at Matt and the girl hard enough that they had ran away in their messed up clothes out of the apartment—Matt would be back soon, he was sure of it—leaving Didi and Garfield all by themselves.

Slowly, he released his grip off Didi's eyes to find Didi smiling with glee.

"YAY! SLEEPOVER!"

For the past month that he had been here, Garfield had been watching Didi work hard at every experiment and every treatment and he always showed a brave face even when Garfield knew that Didi was in pain. His cheeks would puff up and he would turn very, very red, but Garfield noticed that Didi would never ever cry and if he did, he would go off to one of his favourite hiding places in the labs and cry for a few moments before returning back to the scene. He didn't know why it took him so long, but it took Garfield Logan a month before he decided that it was time to let Didi out of the cage for once, and so he suggested a sleepover.

Of course, Didi was ecstatic—_Reaaaallly, Garfielddd? I'm allowed to sleepover at your housee??? DIDI IS HAPPY!_ _Do you have a Hot Wheels set? I like marshmallows in my cerealll…CAN WE JUMP ON YOUR BED???_—and though Garfield had to go around asking the authorities, including Didi's parents, whether or not it was allowed, after he had finally gotten permission, he had started to feel good about this. He was good with kids, and Didi was one of these kids that he really liked.

"So, kid, waddya wanna do first?"

Didi beamed at him and shoved a couple of DVDs of the animated series of the adventures of Spiderman, pointing energetically at the DVD player to the point that Garfield was kinda scared that Didi's hand was gonna fall off. He rushed towards the TV and set sensibly in front of it, not even squirming with impatience, but instead his face was filled with anticipation, but he never rushed Garfield and so the former Titan felt rather relaxed when he shoved the first DVD in. Didi clapped as the introduction started playing and Garfield took this opportunity to grab some cookie dough ice cream he had bought especially for the sleepover with Didi; at first he hadn't been so sure what flavour to get but he reckoned that _everyone _loved cookie dough so that was that.

As the film played, Didi kept enthusiastically shoving the spoon full of cookie dough ice cream in his mouth while laughing like a maniac and getting caught up with some of the exciting action scenes. Admittedly, Garfield was doing this too, and it was even worse since he didn't look like an adorable little kid—though, he thought he was adorable enough for the ladies, thank you very much—and so what he was doing was probably thought to be disgusting and childish. He couldn't blame them really; ice cream dripping on your chin doesn't seem so important when you're watching a really good cartoon, and Spiderman was one of them.

This activity soon moved on to other more vigorous activities such as a good old game of twister—he lost, who knew Didi could twist like that?—despite turning into a snake a few times, and they both started to play Mario Bros on Matt's Wii until it made a suspicious noise, forcing them to exchange glances and drop everything in case they had accidentally broken it. They jumped on the bed a few times and when it was time to get into pyjamas, they had a classic _who-could-change-fastest-in-a-sleeping-bag_ competition—they had gotten sleeping bags since they planned to sleep in front of the TV in the living room—and this time Garfield had actually won. Though he gloated, Didi didn't actually mind since he won all the other competitions and he sincerely seemed to be having fun.

Seeing as it was Garfield combined with a little kid, they didn't eat anything healthy for the whole day, and by nine pm—Didi's bedtime, both the doctors and his parents were really strict on this factor—they were both snuggled in their sleeping bags quite tightly with their last snacks in their hands; Garfield was enjoying a bucket of popcorn while Didi was engorging a banana split that Garfield had made for him, complete with lashings of chocolate and maple syrup and a cherry on top.

"There, that should be enough healthy food for a day, shouldn't it?" Garfield teased, referring to the bananas and cherry in the banana split.

"I like bananas." Didi squealed as he shoved another mouthful into his mouth.

Garfield grinned, "That's good. Bananas are good for you, they make you big and strong." He paused for a moment before smirking at his friend, his pointy green ears twitching, "But I bet you like the ice cream better…"

"Mmmmmm…." He seemed to concentrate really hard on this statement before breaking into a grin, "Yea! Didi loves ice cream! Especially chocolate!" He stated, shoving another spoon of chocolate ice cream into his mouth, "AND STRAWBERRY!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, circling the puddles of strawberry ice cream in his bowl.

"You don't say." He laughed before sobering down, "Hey, Didi, what do you want to be when you grow up?" He asked sincerely, realising that though Garfield had known Didi for quite a bit now, he didn't know any of Didi's dreams and aspirations.

"Ummmmm…Didi wants to be a…a…" another pause, before his face coloured with glee, "a race car driving spoon in space!"

Without warning, Garfield burst out laughing until his sides hurt, rolling around in his sleeping bag; it was a preposterous dream, one that he might have said back when he was younger, and he knew that—from that statement only—that this kid would grow up to do big things. Only someone so creative and imaginative could think up a concept so ridiculous—_race car driving spoon in space_!?—that it was almost laughable, but imagination went far when it came to careers and Didi would do great things.

"What? If Jimmy Neutron can go to space, why can't I!?" Didi complained.

Garfield grinned, wanting to tell him that it wasn't the _going to space _bit that was making him laugh but the race car driving spoon that made him crack up. He didn't want to hurt Didi's feelings though and so he just nodded, which Didi—the innocent and trusting kid that he is—just accepted and went back to finishing up his banana split.

"OK…Didi doesn't wanna sleep but…I know that sleeping is good for me so Didi will sleep." Didi certainly did not sound not sleepy, his voice had slowed down to an almost gravelly nature and his lids seemed to grow heavier and heavier, "Didi says goodn—"

And that was that, Didi fell asleep right there and then in the living room, curled up in his snugly sleeping bag in front of the TV with the empty bowl right in front of his head. Garfield shook his head as he took a glance at Didi, grabbing the bowl to go stuff it into the dishwasher, and pondered on what they were going to do tomorrow; he might take Didi to the pier if Didi was up for it, he knew that Didi would like the carousels and the cotton candy.

The water was cold as he twisted the tap and he waited for a couple of minutes for it to turn hot, taking the time to put on a pair of rubber gloves so that he wouldn't get scalded when he washed the plates. As soon as it turned hot, he wet the bowl and scrubbed it, letting the water flow over it as his own thoughts over flowed his mind; he wondered how bad Didi's illness was and whether Didi would even reach an age where he could achieve his aspirations.

He shook his head, knowing that it wasn't any of his business, but he couldn't help it; for the parents to stick him in S.T.A.R Labs, it must be a pretty bad disease as the place was expensive and if he wasn't a superhero, he knew that he wouldn't be able to afford the place. It made him think about his own future and whether _he _was going to have one beyond the one he had now. It had been a month since he had finally quit the Teen Titans and he had put every piece of him into getting cured, gotten every painful jab and gruelling examination in order for them to find a cure for him so that he could live a normal life. What was normal though? It had been pretty hard adjusting to a life with no real responsibilities—Matt's parents' funded him and there was enough money for both of them—and he wondered whether or not he liked it, then decided that he really didn't and he was pretty bored. There was no turning back from here though; he wouldn't—couldn't—allow himself to move back from sunny, happy L.A back to the drama filled steel Titan's Tower back in Jump City, he just couldn't. He had done everything to make sure that he was no longer involved—paperwork was boring but it had to be done—and had even made attempts to distract himself from what he thought might be happening back in Jump by going to malls, meeting and making new friends and also by just walking around the city. It was a beautiful city, loud too, but it felt strangely empty to him.

Maybe…he thought long and hard…maybe this was his chance to pursue the career that he had always wanted. Maybe, since the divorce from the Teen Titans, he could actually concentrate on his dreams.

Was it plausible for him to turn into an actor?

He had always wanted to be one, ever since he was a kid, and he had always wanted to be an actor on the big screen. Garfield had every respect for theatre actors—those on Broadway and West End—but that wasn't where his heart was. He had always wanted to be someone you could watch on a regular basis, whether on TV, VHS or DVD and he had trained hard for it; from his minor work in the series Space Trek and had even gotten involved in Drama for his Minor.

Hmmm…

It was plausible enough since he was in the City of Angels where celebrities were made and if he were to get a _real_—one that he was passionate about—job then he would have to go into something that had to do with entertainment; he had a knack of making people laugh. He _would have _considered getting a job as a zookeeper or an animal behaviour analyst but he had abandoned his zoology studies—dropped out, they didn't have any online courses—as he had to leave as soon as possible. It was both an emotional and physical thing; he couldn't handle their attachment to each other and his body may be weakening if he spent too long waiting.

That was that, then. He was going to find himself an agent and audition for things; commercials, small TV roles, whatever. He was going to start tomorrow and he was going to do it right. There was more to L.A than sun, sea and relaxation…the stars? Yea, they worked hard.

Garfield Logan was going to act. He was going to be a star.

Suddenly the phone rang.

He dried his hands and picked the phone up.

"Gar." Dick's voice trembled through the line, "Gar…it's Raven."

The phone dropped.

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it! Don't forget to review!**


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